MARVEL MAYHEM: Astonishing X-Men #1

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#1  Edited By Rabbitearsblog

Chapter 1: Memories and Consequences…

Everything was peaceful at the Xavier Institute.The students were happily walking towards their classes, looking forward to a new day where they would learn about various subjects that would intrigue their little minds.Even though the students’ minds were filled with innocent excitement, the opposite could be said for the staff members of the school.It had been two years since the X-Men journeyed to the Breakworld after they discovered that the citizens of the Breakworld were planning on shooting a giant bullet towards planet Earth.The reason for this horrible act was because the citizens of the Breakworld believed that one of the mutants was destined to destroy their planet and they wanted to put a stop to that.Even though the X-Men had managed to save the world from this catastrophe, they ended up losing one of their most valuable members on the team in the process, which was a consequence that they had never gotten over with.

Around the same time that the students were going to their classes, a lone figure was standing on a hill nearby the school and he was gazing into the vast horizon, witnessing the sun’s rays disappearing as it started setting. This young yet powerful man had been a member of the X-Men ever since he was a young teenager and he has seen so much pain and sorrow over the years, but nothing could have prepared him for what happened two years ago.

No Caption Provided

Piotr Rasputin, also known as COLOSSUS, remembered the events all too well. Even though everything still seems so strange to him now, he can still feel the empty pain in his heart as he remembered losing his one true love to the bullet that was going to destroy the Earth.

“Is everything alright, Peter?” a kind voice asked.

Piotr then slowly turned around and saw a young woman with white hair that flowed across her back.

No Caption Provided

Ororo Munroe, also known as STORM, had been a good friend to Piotr for many years and when she saw her friend’s sad face, she couldn’t help but try her best to comfort him in his time of need.

Piotr smiled at Ororo and then said quietly, “Well, it is hard to say if I am alright, Ororo.I am actually thinking about the events that had happened over the past two years.It is funny that the world is still so strange to me ever since I was resurrected after I gave my life when the Legacy Virus took the lives of many of our friends…especially my dear sister, Illyana.After that, we were fighting for our lives on the Breakworld and I thought that I was going to destroy that planet…but I did not.Instead, we ended up saving the world from a giant bullet that was going to destroy it…but at what cost?”

“Kitty?” Ororo asked sadly.

Piotr nodded his head slowly and said, “Da.The most terrible thing about this whole ordeal was that Katya and I had just reunited with each other, but now, she is gone while I managed to regain my life back.”

Ororo then went up towards Piotr and gently put her hand on his broad shoulder and said, “Peter, I understand how you are feeling.Kitty was like a sister to me and it hurt that I could not do anything to save her from the bullet.But, Kitty sacrificed her life to protect us all and she would not want to see anyone suffering in her absence.”

Piotr was silent for a few moments and then he smiled and said, “Yes, you are right Ororo.Katya would want me to move on from all this, although it is going to be very difficult.So, do you like being the new headmistress of this school?”

Ororo looked at Piotr and said, “Well, I must admit that I was a bit surprised that Emma left this position, knowing that she would have done everything in her power to keep running this school no matter what the cost is.But, I am enjoying this position very much.It is so wonderful to help the students out with their powers and understand them on a much deeper level.I am just glad that I am able to help out the students now more than ever.”

“I suppose I should start calling you ‘Miss Headmistress’ now should I?” asked Piotr slyly.

Ororo looked up at Piotr in mock surprise and said, “And I suppose you have your old sense of humor back, Mr. Rasputin?”

“It is coming in little by little, yes,” said Piotr smiling.Then he added quietly, “I am certain that Katya would be happy to hear that you are the new headmistress.”

Ororo smiled and said, “As do I, Peter. As do I.”

Meanwhile, inside the Institute’s laboratory…

No Caption Provided
No Caption Provided

The Institute’s laboratory became full of life as two members of the X-Men were busy creating a new system for the Danger Room.Scott Summers, known as the X-Men leader CYCLOPS and Hank McCoy, known as BEAST, had both went through the tragedy that happened two years ago.Not only had they discovered a dark secret about how the Danger Room was created in the past, but they also lost some of their teammates during the whole ordeal.Even though the events from the past two years still haunted them, they still trudged forward knowing that the X-Men would need all their strength to continue their goals in making humanity see them as true heroes.

“Well, the new system for the Danger Room is almost up and running.This will definitely be a more stable and safe way for the students to practice controlling their mutant powers in the process.Provided that there will be no more scary demons popping out of the system and controlling the entire Institute again,” said Hank, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“That’s great to hear.Honestly, I was getting tired of the whole ‘computer systems gone mad’ scenario,” said Scott getting out from underneath the computer boards.

Scott then stood next to Hank and they were both silent for a few moments.Hank then said, “I still can’t believe what happened to us for the past two years.It’s like years ago; we never knew that the Breakworld existed. Now, who knows what the future will hold for us, now that the Breakworlders know of our existence.”

“Well, it comes with the whole job description of being an X-Man. We save the world and the bad guys come after us with a vengeance for ruining their plans for world domination.But, we still stand up strong to defend the world from evil because it’s what makes us the true heroes in the end,” said Scott.

“And that job description comes with losing some of our friends in the process?” Hank asked quietly.

Scott hung his head down low and said quietly, “Yeah, unfortunately it does.”Then, he lifted his head and asked, “How’s Pete handling it?”

“Well, considering that he did spend the first few years mourning for Kitty, I say he’s doing a little better now.But, I can still see the pain in his eyes whenever Kitty is brought up in any conversation. Can’t say I blame him though,” said Hank.

“Yeah, I know,” said Scott.The two friends once again remained quiet as they thought about the events on the Breakworld.

“So, have you heard from Emma and her new academy yet?” asked Hank.

“Well apparently, Emma seems to be happy being the headmistress of the new academy…again.But, it was surprising, especially to me, that she would actually take up the offer of teaching at the new academy.But nevertheless, I’m actually glad that we have another new academy to help young mutants control their powers since it seems that we keep seeing new faces pop up every now and then and this Institute can only hold so many students,” said Scott.

“Speaking of headmistresses, it seems that Ororo is handling her position as the new headmistress of this institute pretty well.Not only is she able to handle the students’ problems with ease, but its great having Ororo back on the team,” said Hank happily.

“Yeah, it is.Also, with Ororo being the new headmistress of this school, this would actually allow Emma to run the new academy the way she sees fit,” commented Scott.

“So basically, Emma enjoys taking pleasure in torturing little kids by barking out orders and running the school with pure force and a vengeance,” said Hank smirking.

“Yeah, my girlfriend is a dictator,” said Scott smiling.

“She sure is,” said Hank.

The two friends chuckled to themselves as they finished fixing the new system for the Danger Room.

Meanwhile, outside the school grounds….

No Caption Provided

Half of the students from the Institute were in the middle of the most intense training session of their lives.Logan Howlett, who is also known as the rough and tumble X-Men member WOLVERINE, was pushing the students beyond their limits in training for whatever battles the X-Men might face up next.Unfortunately, the students were not enjoying this training session.

“Um, Mr. Logan?Can we just rest a bit?” asked one of the students breathing heavily.

Logan just turned around and said in a scathing tone, “What? Ya telling me that you want to give up this training session, just because you can’t handle the heat?This is combat, bub and your enemies ain’t gonna give ya the time to breathe just because you can’t handle it.Besides, there are other ways that the enemies can get to ya.”

“And what way is that?” asked another student nervously.

Logan just smiled mischievously and then he leaped at the students while his claws went, “SNIKT!”

Meanwhile in the middle of space…

A mysterious spaceship was shooting out from the Breakworld as its driver was heading towards Earth with a pure vengeance. The events of the past still reverberated with the ship's passenger, the former Power Lord of Breakworld. He was the one who had sent the bullet to destroy the Earth, which failed due to the X-Men! Also, the mutant who was destined to destroy the Breakworld, COLOSSUS, managed to have an upper hand on him, as he threatened to rule the Breakworld if the Breakworlders didn’t stop the bullet, therefore disgracing the former Power Lord in front of his fellow breakworlders.This former Power Lord was none other than Kruun and he plans to pay a little visit to Earth with only one thing on his mind: REVENGE!

“I will have my vengeance on those despicable mutants and once I am through with them, I will show Colossus that he is no ruler of the Breakworld!Then once he’s destroyed, I will show the planet Earth a nightmare that they have never witnessed before!”

No Caption Provided

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16828

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

@rabbitearsblog: Nice, very enjoyable. This bit though "Piotr Rasputin, also known as COLOSSUS, remembered vividly the events that had taken place over the past two years" you already said that in the opening chapters, so the repetiton is no really needed. I get why you did it, but it just seems like you're saying the same thing over again

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@rabbitearsblog: Nice, very enjoyable. This bit though "Piotr Rasputin, also known as COLOSSUS, remembered vividly the events that had taken place over the past two years" you already said that in the opening chapters, so the repetiton is no really needed. I get why you did it, but it just seems like you're saying the same thing over again

Thanks!!! I really need to stop repeating my sentences! :D

Avatar image for bumpyboo
BumpyBoo

14986

Forum Posts

270338

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 10

User Lists: 20

#4 BumpyBoo  Moderator

@rabbitearsblog:

Great job, nice first chapter, I really enjoyed reading this! :)

Avatar image for myrmidon_
Myrmidon_

5164

Forum Posts

84

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

This was really really nice! A lot of effort put into it, Well done!

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@bumpyboo said:

@rabbitearsblog:

Great job, nice first chapter, I really enjoyed reading this! :)

Thanks!!

This was really really nice! A lot of effort put into it, Well done!

Thanks again!! :D I really appreciate the compliments!!!

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16828

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#7  Edited By batkevin74

Bumped

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

Bumped

Thanks!! I need more comments! :D

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Thanks!! I need more comments! :D

Well comments on others, often brings comments to yours...its cyclic! :)

"The events from the past two years had also affected this passenger as he was once the Power Lord of the Breakworld and he was one of the Breakworlders who sent the bullet to destroy Earth"

This sentence is quite a mouthful to read. Overall your story is good, looking forward to reading more

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@rabbitearsblog said:

Thanks!! I need more comments! :D

Well comments on others, often brings comments to yours...its cyclic! :)

"The events from the past two years had also affected this passenger as he was once the Power Lord of the Breakworld and he was one of the Breakworlders who sent the bullet to destroy Earth"

This sentence is quite a mouthful to read. Overall your story is good, looking forward to reading more

Thanks!!! I really need to work on shortening my sentences. Hopefully I'll make the second chapter soon!

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

@rabbitearsblog: You don't have to shorten all of them, sometimes a long sentence is warranted. Commas can be your friend, breaking up length with needed pauses, like so. :)

For the example sentence maybe try next : The events of the past still reverberated with the ship's passenger, the former Power Lord of Breakworld. He was one who had sent the bullet to destroy the Earth, which failed due to the X-Men!

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#12  Edited By Rabbitearsblog

@rabbitearsblog: You don't have to shorten all of them, sometimes a long sentence is warranted. Commas can be your friend, breaking up length with needed pauses, like so. :)

For the example sentence maybe try next : The events of the past still reverberated with the ship's passenger, the former Power Lord of Breakworld. He was one who had sent the bullet to destroy the Earth, which failed due to the X-Men!

Thanks!!! Would it be okay to put these changes into the story?

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#14  Edited By Rabbitearsblog
Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#16  Edited By Rabbitearsblog

@4donkeyjohnson: @batkevin74: Just fixed the mistakes! I'll let you know when the second part is coming up, which I'm currently working on! :D

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16828

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#18  Edited By Rabbitearsblog
Avatar image for ekrolo
ekrolo

488

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#19  Edited By ekrolo

This was really damn good, I especially like the format in which you're writing this in. Btw, was your Wolverine part inspired by X-Men Evolution? Cause Wolverine often had his rough training sessions in that show and that part really reminded me off those.

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#20  Edited By Rabbitearsblog

@ekrolo said:

This was really damn good, I especially like the format in which you're writing this in. Btw, was your Wolverine part inspired by X-Men Evolution? Cause Wolverine often had his rough training sessions in that show and that part really reminded me off those.

Thanks!! I'm glad you liked this! The Wolverine part was inspired by a brief scene in the "Torn" arc of Astonishing X-Men where he was training the kids in the Danger Room and he was basically being tough on the kids, although I did like the way that Wolverine was tough on the kids in X-Men Evolution! :D

Avatar image for 4donkeyjohnson
4donkeyjohnson

2063

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#21  Edited By 4donkeyjohnson

Bumped as I have just spotted part 3 :)

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

Bumped as I have just spotted part 3 :)

Thanks!! Have you read part 3 yet?

Avatar image for tommythehitman
TommytheHitman

7183

Forum Posts

104

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Great Stuff Dude!

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

Avatar image for impurestcheese
ImpurestCheese

12542

Forum Posts

2824

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

#25  Edited By ImpurestCheese

@rabbitearsblog: You need more comments? If any one needs more comments it's me, I barley get one per issue. Note - This in response to the comment near the top of the page. :-)

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@rabbitearsblog: You need more comments? If any one needs more comments it's me, I barley get one per issue. Note - This in response to the comment near the top of the page. :-)

I'm sorry! LOL! I'm actually trying to check out your stories and comment on them.

Avatar image for lykopis
lykopis

10845

Forum Posts

40100

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Great start to your series! I'm going through a few so I can freshen up the imagery in my mind.

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@lykopis said:

Great start to your series! I'm going through a few so I can freshen up the imagery in my mind.

Thanks!!! I'm glad you're reading all of my fan fictions for Marvel Mayhem at the moment! I really need the compliments!

Avatar image for makkyd
MakkyD

6989

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Love how you set up that everything is back to normal and peaceful...then Kruun basically says "next time on the astonishing x-men!" :P

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@maccyd said:

Love how you set up that everything is back to normal and peaceful...then Kruun basically says "next time on the astonishing x-men!" :P

LOL!!! Thanks!!! I love ending my chapters with a big surprise!

Avatar image for sc
SC

18454

Forum Posts

182748

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 25

User Lists: 0

#31 SC  Moderator

I really enjoyed this, you have a great grasp of the X-Men characters. I actually didn't know you did fan fiction until a few weeks ago, I am excited to catch up on each chapter! Great work!

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@sc said:

I really enjoyed this, you have a great grasp of the X-Men characters. I actually didn't know you did fan fiction until a few weeks ago, I am excited to catch up on each chapter! Great work!

Thanks!!! You definitely have to check out the rest of this series!

Avatar image for wildvine
wildvine

15335

Forum Posts

2609

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 50

#33 wildvine  Moderator

@rabbitearsblog

I'm not much of an X reader, so I don't know the context of the back story, or the characters overly well. But this was very well written, and fun to read.

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

@wildvine said:

@rabbitearsblog

I'm not much of an X reader, so I don't know the context of the back story, or the characters overly well. But this was very well written, and fun to read.

Thanks wildvine!! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm a huge X-Men fan so I love reading anything with X-Men in it (most of the time).

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16828

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

Bumped

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

Avatar image for batkevin74
batkevin74

16828

Forum Posts

1712

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 13

#37  Edited By batkevin74

Bumped

Avatar image for the_impersonator
The Impersonator

10217

Forum Posts

23956

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 31

User Lists: 50

This is an Xciting chapter. Good job!

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

#39  Edited By Rabbitearsblog

@the_impersonator: Thanks!!! I have more of this series in the Marvel Mayhem folder!

Avatar image for the_impersonator
The Impersonator

10217

Forum Posts

23956

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 31

User Lists: 50

@rabbitearsblog: You're welcome!

Nice. If you can give me the link, that would be great. :)

Avatar image for impurestcheese
ImpurestCheese

12542

Forum Posts

2824

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 14

Avatar image for guardiandevil83
Guardiandevil83

9481

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

This was fun and emotional . Three years after Kitty passed and the team is still feeling it. I loved it because I can relate and it is a realistic take on mourning . Thought about something naughty during Scott and Hank's conversation about Emma being a dictator. Oh and LOL at Logan beating up teenagers. Same ol' Logan giving 0 effs about child endangerment. Great chemistry and characterization.

Avatar image for rabbitearsblog
Rabbitearsblog

6721

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 79

User Lists: 3

This was fun and emotional . Three years after Kitty passed and the team is still feeling it. I loved it because I can relate and it is a realistic take on mourning . Thought about something naughty during Scott and Hank's conversation about Emma being a dictator. Oh and LOL at Logan beating up teenagers. Same ol' Logan giving 0 effs about child endangerment. Great chemistry and characterization.

Thank you so much!!! I just love writing the relationships between these characters!