#1 Posted by YoungJustice (6640 posts) - - Show Bio

Matthew packed his clothes as Wasp scouted the area for places to hide out at.

She thought about her and Matt's relationship, she was afraid to start one, since in the end she would be alone, in any scenario, if she got too attached, then she wouldn't be able to live without him when he did die.

While in her train of thought, she was sneaked up on by a man, he looked as if he was only 18 or 19, but he had a warlike feature about him, his black hair was covered in dirt, and clothing looked as if it hadn't been washed in forever.

Due to the recent attack on her and Matthew, she instantly held her fist at the man with a bio-blast ready; she asked him who he was.

The man, calm and collected, answered her.

"My name is Arick, Arick Saga that is. I think you met my sister already, her name is Sara, sorry she had to attack you, but we wanted to know how dangerous you were."

Wasp was still confused. "But why?"

"Well, we wanted to ask you if you would like to join us, I named us the Defenders in honor of my great grandfather, Namor. Anyway, are you up for it?"

Wasp didn't know what to do, it would help her and Matt with the house situation, but could she really trust the boy? His sister almost killed Matt a day before.

Going with her gut, even though she didn't have one, she accepted Arick's offer.

Arick smiled. "Good, shall I get someone to bring your boyfriend to the house?

Wasp's face filled with rage. "What house?" She calmed down. "And he's not my boyfriend!"

Arick grinned. "Sure. We're going to our hideout, every superhero needs a hideout. Come on."

Arick flew off into the distance, Wasp could barely keep up with him, after a few seconds of flying straight ahead, Arick swooped down to the ground.

He stepped in front of a house, quite large, a single family home, it looked like something you'd see on a TV show that was out of touch with reality.

Arick turned around as he walked. "I call this the Willow's Peak."

They entered the house, and it was perfectly clean, glasses shined, flowers were healthy, the paint smell was fresh, but not overwhelming. Arick led her to the kitchen, a teenage girl, cheerleader type, dug into the fridge, mumbling that she was going to kill Dean for eating her sandwich.

Arick fake coughed to catch her attention, she sprung up and giggled.

“Oh, hello Arick, you scared me.” She looked over to Wasp. “You must be Wasp, my name is Cynthia, how do you do today?”

Wasp felt unsettled by how polite the girl was. “I’m doing fine, thank you.”

Cynthia waved goodbye, and much to Wasp’s surprise, slipped right through the floor.

Arick continued walking forward along with Wasp, in the living room, Matthew and a young man sat on the couch and talked about football.

When Matt saw Wasp enter the room, he gave her a simple hello. Maybe she was being a tad bit unrealistic, but she was hoping that he would ask her at least what was going on and how she was doing.

Nevertheless, the man on the couch introduced himself to Wasp.

“Hello, Alfred is the name m’dear. May I express how lovely you look today?” He kissed her on her hand. With his 1800’s attire, he looked like a gentleman, but you could tell that he was just a womanizer buy the way he moved and talked, even though Wasp was quite fond of his Cajun accent.

Before Wasp couldn’t reply to Alfred, Matthew interrupted.

“Hey Alph, I’d sit down if I were you.” You could almost see the rage in his words.

Alfred backed away, raising his hands like he was surrendering.

Arick and Wasp continued to walk; they found themselves in the bedroom section, where a guy and a girl argued over something, quickly, Arick ran into the room where the shouting came from.

The girl looked as if she had just gotten out of bed, whereas the boy looked like he was ready to go out.

Arick yelled over them to get their attention.

“What’s wrong? You are yelling really loud.”

The girl started talking first. “Well, Anthony asked me if we wanted to go to the movies today at 8:00, I told him that I would think about it. Now he is yelling at me for not being ready, even though I never confirmed it!”

Anthony rebutted her comment. “I assumed that you would be dressed by 6:00 anyway! It’s your fault!”

Arick got his two-cents in before either of them couldn’t argue anymore. “Ugh, just both of you get back to your rooms or stop yelling! Sorry about that Wasp, teenagers. That was Anthony and Kate. Sara is going to be out for the day so you probably won’t see her until tomorrow. Your room is the third to the left. See ya.”

Arick left the bedroom area to go watch his daily dose of Wife Swap, while Wasp got settled in her room.

_____

#2 Posted by batkevin74 (10362 posts) - - Show Bio

@YoungJustice said:

Matthew packed his clothes as Wasp scouted the area for places to hide out at. She thought about her and Matt's relationship; she was afraid to start one, since in the end she would be alone, in any scenario, if she got too attached, then she wouldn't be able to live without him when he did die.

While in her train of thought, she was sneaked up on by a man, he looked as if he was only 18 or 19, but he had a warlike feature about him, his black hair was covered in dirt, and clothing looked as if it hadn't been washed in forever.

Due to the recent attack on her and Matthew, she instantly held her fist at the man with a bio-blast ready; she asked him who he was.

The man, calm and collected, answered her "My name is Arick, Arick Saga that is. I think you met my sister already, her name is Sara, sorry she had to attack you, but we wanted to know how dangerous you were."

Wasp was still confused. "But why?"

"Well, we wanted to ask you if you would like to join us, I named us the Defenders in honor of my great grandfather, Namor. Anyway, are you up for it?"

Wasp didn't know what to do, it would help her and Matt with the house situation, but could she really trust the boy? His sister almost killed Matt a day before.

Going with her gut, even though she didn't have one, she accepted Arick's offer.

Arick smiled. "Good, shall I get someone to bring your boyfriend to the house?

Wasp's face filled with rage. "What house?" She calmed down. "And he's not my boyfriend!"

Arick grinned. "Sure. We're going to our hideout, every superhero needs a hideout. Come on."

Arick flew off into the distance, Wasp could barely keep up with him, after a few seconds of flying straight ahead, Arick swooped down to the ground.

He stepped in front of a house, quite large, a single family home, it looked like something you'd see on a TV show that was out of touch with reality.

Arick turned around as he walked. "I call this the Willow's Peak."

I'm all for getting on with it, but 4 sentences in and she's asked to join a group; and does. Wasp is great but I feel you're rushing her a bit.

Take your time, show us what she can do, let us watch her get her head around she's got a boyfriend and she's immortal who has is enjoying being out of her box. She's interesting enough without adding this Arick (who at the moment I really don't care for).

Keep going though, you are on the verge of total awesome

#3 Posted by joshmightbe (24438 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: I get what you're saying about rushing a bit but its still a good chapter and it had some good set up so I'd say keep what you have here but feel free to slow down a bit after.

@YoungJustice: Good job, but like batkev said its okay to pace yourself there are no deadlines here. I'm not insulting you here I'm just as guilty of rushing things sometimes.

#4 Posted by YoungJustice (6640 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: @batkevin74:

Gonna try to slow down, take my time, focus on character development.

The next issue will probably be a flashback, just saying.

#5 Posted by joshmightbe (24438 posts) - - Show Bio

@YoungJustice: Its not a big deal I still enjoyed the chapter.

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (10362 posts) - - Show Bio

@YoungJustice: Flashback! Cool. I am enjoying Wasp, personally a bit more detail on her, her corner of the world but keep it up. She's facscinating, with her powerset, her make-up (DNA energy construct...coz she's not human, but trying to be)

#7 Posted by joshmightbe (24438 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: She has something in common with 7 (possible future crossover is already forming in my head)

#8 Posted by batkevin74 (10362 posts) - - Show Bio
#9 Edited by cbishop (6944 posts) - - Show Bio