So I wandered around the city, amazed that I didn’t know anyone. Back in Arizona I knew everyone. It was kinda freeing and a little bit scary that this many people were strangers. It was even scarier that there were Iron Soldiers all over the place, haunting corners, watching from overhead bridges, lurking like bad smells in black armour. Randomly they’d stop people asking for their I-dent cards, whatever that was, some they’d let go, some they’d give a beating to. I just wanted to show those bullies a thing or two...but this wasn’t the time.
I must’ve walked the entire city, well that’s an exaggeration, but I pounded the pavement for a while. Everything began to look the same: glass, concrete, stone, Iron Soldier, trash. As time passed I longed for the plains of Arizona since this was becoming a claustrophobic nightmare. I could feel the stink of the city embedding in my skin
And nothing looked like a sea of fruit! Finding fruit in this plastic place was like finding legs on a snake! A vision quest wasn’t exactly clear, neither was my crazy dream...a simple sentence of “Go to New York, third building on the left, pick up ring” would be better than cryptic puzzles about fruit! Maybe my subconscious was having a go at me...
I got snapped out of my mental ramblings by the sound of repulsor blast fire above me. I looked up and there was this guy ducking, weaving and swinging away from two red and gold Iron Army soldiers. And then I saw it, emblazoned on his back and on his chest a spider! Sorta like my dream...hey it was the only clue I’d had all day and if I was going to be a superhero like my ancestors this was a near perfect situation...unless of course he was friends with that Devil guy and I was interfering in an actual...bah stop thinking and get heroing!
I got changed into my battle gear, stashed my gear and ran after the commotion. They were pretty easy to follow with their vapour trails and his webs hanging around like tinsel. It seems like he was leading them in circles around the same neighborhood. Around here the buildings are mostly abandoned, less chance that an innocent will be in danger from a stray repulsor blast. It's just as well the presence of Iron Soldiers would increase if he were to go towards the city center then he'd have more than two to deal with. I rounded the corner to see the spider guy pinned to the wall by one Iron Soldier, the other one hovering nearby scanning him.
"I'm telling you the scan says he doesn't even have any powers. I know we're supposed to bring in any spider we find but this guy doesn't fit the bill." The one scanning Spider-Man complains.
"Well irregardless he's wearing some kind of technological spider outfit. We're bringing him in." The one holding him pinned to the wall responds.
Even though he's being held by the throat Spider-Man rolls his head in an exaggerated manner. "Irregardless? Can you hear yourself talk? You think you've done the unpossible. You caught Spider-maaargh!" The Iron Soldier holding him just holds him a bit tighter to shut him up.
“Excuse me?” I interjected. The spider-guy sounds young, not a kid but not the sound of an adult either. “But I was wondering if one of you officers could tell me the holo-phone number for the Iron Army complaints department?”
They both turned and looked at me, giving the spider a chance to get free. Somehow he manages to force the Iron Soldier's hand off his neck while simultaneously hitting him in the face with some web stuff locking his head at a forty-five degree angle. The other soldier shot a blast from his palms at me and then leaped on the spider knowing the spider is his key to a promotion. The beams raced at me and all I could think of was spiders and I raised my hands to block it when the beam dispersed into thousands of tiny black spiders. WHAT THE STARK?!? I just made spiders!?!?
The spider clung to the wall by just his feet while trading blows with the Iron Soldier as I stood there like a statue watching the spiders scattered to the winds. I came back to reality when the soldier with the stiff neck smashed me in the mouth with a thunderous punch. He must have used his suit's scanning systems to see even with his head at such an odd angle. I nearly blacked out and I’d been hit by my brother! I spat blood and he grabbed me by the throat
“You should’ve kept walking redskin!”
Wow! My first racial slur
“How about I fix your neck?” I drew my hand back in a circle and shoved my palm into his chest. There was a tunk sound and nothing happened. I had no idea, I imagined that I’d shatter his armour or put it through his chest not tunk! His hands whirred up and I was about to die
“He’s made the tag Gene and Spider-Man is cleaning house.” A web came out of nowhere and lassoed the guard and flung him into the wall as the other soldier came crashing to the ground in front of me courtesy of Spider boy-man-dude “The new kid is showing intestinal fortitude”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile, I had no idea what he was ranting about but his enthusiasm and energy was infectious. I made a fist and smashed it down on the guard’s chest AND HIS ARMOUR SHATTERED LIKE GLASS! The guy inside was just as shocked and amazed as I was as he hit the floor covered in glitter!
“That was so cool” Spider-Men said as he wrapped the other guard in a cocoon of webbing before swinging over to me. “I could kiss you”
“You seem young but sure why not”
Spider-Man kinda froze...meaning he’s as straight as an arrow. He fumbled through a joke that made no sense and scratched his head. I looked at the semi naked guard and whipped out my knife, pointing it at him
“Why were you after him?”
“He-he robbed a food truck?”
Oh great! Second day in the city and another bad judgement on mysterious strangers, I’m an idiot!
“Now that isn't entirely true is it chuckles? I prefer to think of it as liberating a food truck. Let the people who are hungry decide who gets it rather than Ferrum.” said Spider-Man resting his hand on my shoulder. Then its sort of awkward again and Spider-Man places his hands on his hips in a very awkward heroic pose.
I wondered whether or not to knock out the Spider and just walk away. But instead of killing or even hurting the soldier Spider-Man just webbed him to the ground. Turned out Spider was actually on the level.
“Spider Man” He said thrusting out his hand.
“Warstar” I returned the handshake.
“That was amazing, that whammo punch!" He re-enacted my punch. "And I would know, I'm the Amazing Spider-Man but after that performance you can have Amazing, I'll just be Spectacular!”
“Stop otherwise I will kiss you”
You could see him nearly die even with his mask.
“I’m joking! I thought being in the big city people would be more open minded”
“Hey I’m open minded! I patrol the city in a red and blue onesie. But I've got a girlfriend and she wouldn't be scared of your little armor shatter punch if she thought you were moving in on her man." He does the neck shake and finger wag move that is at least 200 years old.
“This is going to sound strange” If I could read his mind I bet he was making up excuses on how to get away thinking that I was about to hit on him “Do you know of any fruit shops in the area?”
The first thought that occurs to Spider-Man is 'Fruit shop, is that some kind of euphemism?' Of course he doesn't say it, this guy did just help save his life.
"Well I think there's a hydroponic facility over on 52nd street. But if you're looking to make a fruit salad be careful, these two were after me for just knocking over a truck."
Without saying much else Spider-Man just leaps into the air and fires a web on to a distant building. He turns and gives a little salute before disappearing around a building.