Continued from: Part 1:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-iron-age-unlikely-allies-pt-1-of-4-1515896/#11
Part 2: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/marvel-iron-age-unlikely-allies-part-2-of-4-1517581/#11
And more Marvel Iron Age can be found here: Marvel Iron Age Libraryor http://www.comicvine.com/profile/cbishop/blog/marvel-iron-age-library/94538/
**
LowTown, Madripoor
“You know this is like them old movies,” chuckled Scalphunter “The heroes stride along as explosions go off in the background, so starking cool! Shame it wasn’t darker!”
The white phosphorous had ignited the city turning several blocks into a raging inferno. Ngumi pointed to the transport.
“Mysteria is the sister-in-law of General Falcon Helfitta, the woman you…” Ngumi looked at him and shook her head “You animal! She wants revenge for that, also on me for killing her but why you have a bounty on your head is because of her. Now you know the who and the why. Now, where are my girls?”
“No way hose a and b!” said Scalphunter “You’re coming with me! If you had actually put Mystery Bitch in the ground like the professional you claim to be, none of this would’ve happened! So it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Almost on cue a building came down, shaking the city. Ngumi Takada gripped her sword tighter; the chatty bastard was partially right and also had her over a barrel.
“Remember what I said.” warned Ngumi.
“I barely listen to anything anyone says,” laughed Scalphunter “Oh and here’s a little tip for you,” He lashed out and smashed a fist right into her nose, cracking the cartilage and causing a massive rush of blood to pour from her face “You call me Gerald again, and I’ll have your sword in my hand when I do it next time!”
Ngumi hunched over, eyes burning with fury as she looked at him through laced, bloody fingers as the cascade of crimson gushed from her nose.She didn’t even see that coming! And looking at him most of the cuts he’d taken on the run up the building were either healed or nothing more than bruises.
“The only problem with burning a town full of chopstick people,” said Scalphunter as he skipped up the gangplank, much to the disgust of the man with the permanent scowl on his face “Is that you want to do it all over again in half an hour!”
Chicago Iron Hall
“Sir?” a lieutenant approached General Falcon Helfitta as he stood on the roof gazing out to the horizon at nothing in particular.
Falcon groaned at the intrusion “What?”
“There’s reports coming in from Madripoor about…” the lieutenant stopped as the General turned and snatched the data-pad from his hands. Falcon skimmed it and then tossed the pad off the roof.
“Madripoor is a dirty, backwater blip! As stated in the briefing this morning, private, unless it has to do with New Latveria or the Chechyen DMZ, the Supreme Commander couldn’t give two starks about it!” The newly demoted private gulped; worried he may be the next thing off the roof. He saluted. Falcon looked at him for a long time before returning a lazy salute and returning to his gazing. The general let out an audible sigh.
On route to Western Sahara
Scalphunter and Ngumi sat in the bomb bay. The man who’d “welcomed” the onboard stood arms folded at the far end glaring daggers at her as the transport rocked, dipped and dodging aerial assaults from both Black Air and Iron Army.
“What’s stark face’s problem?” asked Scalphunter nudging his companion “Seems to not like you.”
Ngumi shrugged, the stain of the nose bleed still on her face, “I probably killed someone he loved.”
“Well nobody eyeballs my girl!” Scalphunter drew his pistol. Ngumi grabbed his arm and forced it up, the shot going into the roof and then dangerously bouncing around the hanger.
“Are you insane?!” yelled Ngumi as she disarmed him.
“Probably,” replied Scalphunter “You’d have to ask my therapist”
Ngumi poured the bullets out, unclipped the magazine and tossed the gun back at Scalphunter before retaking her seat. Scalphunter began annoyingly tapping the pistol on the seat to a rhythm only he could hear. Ngumi reached over and put a hand firmly on the weapon.
“Could you sit still?”
“Could you sit still!” parroted Scalphunter “What are you my mother?”
“Like you had a mother!” snapped Ngumi.
“Oooo burnt by yellow one!” Scalphunter gave her a round of applause “Nice retort fried rice! Hang around me longer and you’ll soon be able to do snappy patter”
<I’d rather bathe in toxic effluent after a wire brush and broken glass scrub down than spend any longer than I have to with you!> stated Ngumi under her breathe.
<Watch it fish breath!> replied Scalphunter in Japanese <You forgot that I speak quack quack as well>
Ngumi ignored him as she looked at her watch as time slowly ticked away, silently praying that Kylie and Kiki were okay whilst almost simultaneously plotting the horror she would do the man-child sitting next to her as he balanced the gun on his nose like a seal. It was going to be a long bumpy flight.
Black Air HQ, Western Sahara
“For stark’s sake!”Mysteria roared as she violently cleared her desk. Her mechanical limbs hummed and a faint orange glow pulsed through her body as she grabbed the granite desktop and tossed the whole thing into the ceiling showering stone dust, neon glass and rubble everywhere. The woman who had killed her and the monster that had raped and killed her sister were coming. She could taste the revenge in the air. Mysteria pressed a button on her wrist.
“All remaining teams, get back her on the double. Let Madripoor burn!”
On route to Western Sahara
“…use I couldn’t penetrate his skin. Broke two swords on his head. I think it was coz it was gold coloured adamantium.”
Ngumi opened her eyes slightly. The head of the European Assassination Division had just been talking. Non stop! It was as hypnotic as it was annoying. She glanced at her watch; four hours had been wasted just sitting, at least the pilot had gotten them out of danger. Ngumi headed towards the cockpit when the man blocked her path.
“Do we have a problem?” she asked.
He nodded, puffed out his chest and folded his arms. Ngumi rolled her eyes and cracked him in the throat sending him to the ground gasping for air.
“And Tyson is DOWN!” roared Scalphunter from the back of the plane with delight “Cheap shot but let’s see that again in super slow motion!”
Ngumi looked down on the man “After all this is done, if you want to take a proper shot …” She stepped over him and headed up.
“How much longer?”
The pilot turned to her “Bout ten minutes if you just want to get off, add another half hour if you want us to land”
Ngumi checked the instruments. Radar showed some tailing blips, probably Black Air or Iron Army ships in pursuit but nothing major. “Just get us over the target…” A red light flashed up on the panel “Why are the bomb bay…Gerald!”
Ngumi charged back to the hanger, the cold furious wind roared around the belly of the plane as it cut through the sky at Mach 4. Hanging on for dear life to a fraying rope, held by Scalphunter, was the man she’d knocked down moments before.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” she yelled over the cacophony
“TEACHING GRUMPY A LESSON IN MANNERS!” yelled Scalphunter as he held the rope in one hand.
“LET GO OF HIM” said Ngumi and as she did watched the evil of a child who picks wings off flies spread across Scalphunter’s face.
“OKAY!” he released the rope and the man shot away. Ngumi dove forward and grabbed the rope with one hand, the cold steel mesh with the other. The rope strained as the man screamed dangling behind the speeding plane.
“HELP. ME” grunted Ngumi.
Scalphunter looked at her “I TRY TO HELP, YOU COMPLAIN! I DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASK, AND IT’S NOT RIGHT! DO YOU WANT ME TO SAVE HIM?”
“YES!”
“WHY?” asked Scalphunter “GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON”
The rope began to run through her hand tearing the flesh. The man flapped like a broken kite in the wash of the transport. Ngumi looked at the man, back at Scalphunter and released the rope. The man fell to earth. Scalphunter stood there, mouth agape.
“Unstarkingbelievable!” he commented “I thought I was cold”
Ngumi clambered to her feet and marched up to Scalphunter who flinched in anticipation. Ngumi grabbed his chin, roughly tilted his head and planted a kiss on his lips. The killer and the assassin embraced 30,000ft in the air buffeted by the winds and roar of the engines.
“What was that for?” asked Scalphunter wiping his mouth and tongue like a kid who’d eaten a chilli.
“Something to ponder,” said Ngumi as she kicked him in the stomach and off the plane “ON YOUR WAY DOWN!”
Scalphunter tumbled into the blue sky he drew his gun and fired several shots as he dropped like a stone. Ngumi grabbed a parachute, pressed a button on her gauntlet which caused the light to bend around her camo suit and dove out of the plane after him. It was crazy, it was reckless…it was scarily fun. It reminded her of the old days of the Wild Pack.
**
Scalphunter groaned as he stepped out of the small crater he’d made when he fell to Earth. His shin bones were protruding out of his calf muscles, his knee halfway up his thigh and a cactus wedged into his eye.
“STARKING STARK! STARK! STARK STARK STARKITY STARK!” he yelled as he pulled the offending cactus out of his eye socket with a liquid pop. “I am going to starking kill her! Mother starker that hurts! I think she makes my list! Gotta rewrite that starking thing. Number one was Doom and he’s dead. Number two was Silver starking Sable and she’s now dead, booyah! So number three the Golden Hulk is at number one,” Scalphunter looked at his mangled eye looking back at him from the end of the cactus “What you looking at? Ha ha ha ha”
Scalphunter took a seat and stretched his broken legs back into position “Oh Malcolm tap dancing stark! Number four was Dr Essex but he’s gone AWOL…my list is pretty starking rubbish! Okay Iron Claw was five now two, mean Chechyen son of a gun. Darius starking Stane! He burnt my face off with a flame thrower the starking stark! Now chopstick fish face threw me out of a plane!”
“You survived, I’m impressed”
Scalphunter looked around to see Ngumi shimmer into existence as she packed up her chute. Scalphunter got to his feet and his legs promptly resnapped. Even though she was use to blood and gore, having dealt out a fair deal of it, the sound made Ngumi wince. Scalphunter screamed and thrashed on the ground like a stuck pig.
“You are so dead!” growled Scalphunter “Give me a few minutes and I am going to ram so many things up your stark…”
“Ssh!” Ngumi put fingers to her lips as she scanned the horizon.
“No, you ssh!” whined Scalphunter “I’m just going to lie here, heal up and after the dust settles, I’m going to kill you!”
“Maybe rape me as well!” sneered Ngumi as she unclipped a pair of mini binoculars.
“Are you still talking about that thing with Falcon’s wife?” Scalphunter pushed himself to his feet “Gonna have to set…”
“There!” Ngumi pointed to a hill in the distance “That’s Black Air’s base. Tactically sound, good choice Sonia.”
“That crumbly old brick shack on top of that hill is where we’re going?” scoffed Scalphunter as he winked his newly regrown eye “Got a rocket launcher, I’ll knock it down from here!”
Ngumi looked at him “And give away our position?”
“Lady, I’ve blown up a hover tram full of school kids to kill one person! Besides I heal!” shrugged Scalphunter as he shook his legs “But I see your point sushi breath”
“I have a name!” snapped Ngumi drawing her sword.
<Okay Ngumi Takada> said Scalphunter bowing, cupped hand over his right fist.
“You’re going to explain this whole Japanese thing” stated Ngumi sheathing her sword and heading towards the hill.
“What’s to explain, I was born there!” said Scalphunter as he gingerly walked after her.
“Really?”
“Nobody really gets a choice where they’re born, I was born in Yokosuka” replied Scalphunter.
“So why all the overt racism?”
“I starking hate Japan!” said Scalphunter “My parents got killed by the militant spider group called Suppai Jorōgumo”
“The Acid Spiders” said Ngumi recalling the offshoot group.
“That’s them, bunch of starks!” spat Scalphunter “Why am I even telling you this? I haven’t told anybody this. Maybe it’s because I got tossed out of a plane by a pretty girl”
Ngumi blushed then quickly regained her composure. Was he hitting on her?
“Anyway that’s where it all stems from. Whole place should’ve been the target instead of Papua New Guinea when his Comanderness detonated all them old nukes back in 40!” said Scalphunter as he kicked a few rocks as they walked “So nothing personal but Japan, the Japanese, most of Asia, can suck a big starking motherstark!”
Ngumi almost felt sorry for the man who had nearly killed her, blown up her friend in front of her godchildren, had a kill rate in the high hundreds and worked for the evil empire that crushed the planet under its heel. She nearly returned the sympathetic pat he gave her back in her apartment when she had burst into tears. Ngumi grabbed her binoculars and gazed at the fortress on the hill.
“So what’s the plan?” asked Scalphunter.
“We sneak up on the right in their massive blind spot and kill everyone.” said Ngumi as pressed buttons on her gauntlet and faded like a morning mist.
“I’ve gots to get me one of them!” scowled Scalphunter as he tiptoed up to the fortress.
Black Air Headquarters
“They are coming up on the left Mysteria, in our ‘blind spot’. One is cloaked but the triangulation of thermal, infrared and sonar have her to within five feet. The other one is…well sneaking like he’s in a kid’s play or something...idiot!”
Mysteria cracked her metallic knuckles as an orange glow emanated from her “Good. Let them in, slowly herd them towards the pit and before they know it, I’ll have killed two birds!”
**
To be brilliantly brought home by Time_Phantom as this is a co-op write
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