“There’s nobody here but a robo-valet!” growled Patches as he brushed metal pieces off his hands “Scalphunter sent us to the wrong house!”
“Where is he?” said Skunk
“Three houses down” said Wilma as she caressed her temples.
The ten clones moved as one, and headed from the house to their new objective.
“SCALPHUNTER!” screamed Silver Sable as she stepped out of the Darkforce, her hands inflamed in energy blades “IF YOU’VE TOUCHED MY GIRLS, I SWEAR TO STARK I WILL RIP YOU IN HALF!”
Scalphunter popped up from behind the couch pointing the family pulse at her “I touched’em, smacked’em, hell I think I even made one of them cry a little!”
“Bitch please!” laughed Scalphunter “Better people than you have tried. Now can I help you with something?”
Tears welled in Sable’s eyes “Where are my girls?”
“Oh I tied them together by their hair after I slapped the little stark who shot me!” said Scalphunter as he pointed out healing hole in his chest “Other little brat bit me, so I knocked her teeth out! Where is their father?”
“Bastard!” Silver Sable dove forward and sliced the end off the pulse rifle, then slashed at Scalphunter’s neck “You mention him again…”
“You’ll kill me!” laughed Scalphunter as he easily swayed out of the way “If I touch your kids, you’ll kill me! If I talk about your hubby, you’ll kill me! I used your toilet and didn’t flush, you gonna kill me?”
Sable lashed out in anger, Scalphunter parried and ducked away from her strikes as he casually grabbed the katana the girls had brought to the fight “Did that Asian stark give you this? Looks like this one I took off her months ago”
Sable slammed her knee into Scalphunter’s groin “Shut up!”
Scalphunter whimpered and hit the ground “Red card! Foul!”
Silver Sable raised her fist when there was a loud thump behind her and Jessica Mongoose fell out of the closing dark tear in the sky.
“I forgot how dark and big that place was” said Jessica as she dusted herself
“Don’t interfere Jessica!” stated Sable as she shifted her gaze between the two elite members of the Supreme Commander’s killing crew.
Three figures burst through the living room window as another came in through the roof. Another two crashed through the wall as four more walked in through the front door. Sinister’s clones had arrived.
“Ahh the cavalry” giggled Scalphunter as he kipped up to his feet “They broke a lamp, gonna kill’em?”
“Who they stark are they Scalp?” asked Jessica as she spun the Staff of One around her defensively.
“These are MY kids!” smiled Scalphunter. The ten Sinister clones: Uggo, Norman, Norma, Wilma, Patches, Skunk, Clank, Slashy, Curly and Weapon X looked at each at the three people in the lounge room.
“Kill’em all!” stated Weapon X
“Stark me!” gulped Scalphunter “Ladies these guys are good!”
Jessica slammed the staff into the jaw of Skunk “How good?” Skunk shook his head, the jaw healing up rapidly. Scalphunter drove his katana’s into Slashy’s underarms, paralysing him then leaping over him to confront Uggo, whose skin erupted in spikes
“I trained them, named them…”
“Shut up and kill them!” yelled Silver Sable as she stabbed Weapon X in the neck with her blades. Weapon X grabbed her by the wrists and head butted her, knocking her to the floor. Norman and Norma leapt onto her, pinning her to the floor. Scalphunter dropkicked Uggo into Norman allowing Silver Sable to get an arm free and drive an energy spike deep into Norma’s neck.
“What’s with the oar?” asked Scalphunter dodging away.
“Boss man wanted it” replied Jessica as she struggled against Wilma’s telekinesis as the others closed in on her “Stark I hate t-k!”
“It’s a magical artefact!” snapped Sable as Norman kicked her in the guts. She rolled into a ball to protect herself as Weapon X joined the stomping
Scalphunter drew his gun and jammed it into Norman’s mouth and pulled the trigger rapidly, blowing Norman’s brain’s out the back of his head “The silver surfer was talking”
Weapon X and Scalphunter mixed it up, each as good as each other, matching blow for blow “Remind me to bill Essex for the awesome job I did with you.” remarked Scalphunter as he pulled a grenade from his belt “Catch!”
“Stark!” Weapon X dove away; Scalphunter caught the grenade on his foot and kicked it across the room at Wilma. She dropped her attack on Jessica and crushed the grenade with her mind leaving her to cop a smack in the mouth from the staff, taking her out.
“A staff does what?” asked Scalphunter as he leapt onto Weapon X and the two wrestled on the ground like snakes.
Silver Sable drove her blades again into Norma’s face “The staff supposedly has a wish component to it; can alter reality”
Jessica looked down at the unconscious Wilma as she and Skunk traded blows “Altered hers”
“Stop…being …funny!” growled Scalphunter as he put Weapon X in a full nelson “That’s…my…department!”
Skunk snatched the staff off Jessica, so she unloaded weaponised chloroform into his face causing him to release it “Let’s see shall we, I wish you were made of glass!” The staff glowed at the end as she thrust it into Skunk’s chest. There was an odd sound, like glass breaking and cracking as he suddenly turned into a glass statue. “Cool!”
Scalphunter slammed Weapon X’s head into the floor “All of them stark for brains!”
“Hang on!” she snapped as she smashed Skunk into pieces “Okay, I wish they were all made of glass”
“NO!” yelled Sable as she got slashed by Uggo “You can’t use it the same way twice! Stark, you never liked to read mission objectives did you!?” The room hummed and billions of butterflies flew out the end and swarmed around the room, like a plague of old. The hurricane of insects disorientated everyone, obscuring vision and generally causing chaos. And seconds later they vanished. The two ‘sides’ broke and recovered on opposite sides of the room. Scalphunter, Silver Sable and Jessica Mongoose versus Weapon X, Patches, Uggo, Clank, Slashy and Curly. Norman tried to get to his feet.
“No fair!” whined Scalphunter “I shot him!”
“Healing factor” coughed Norman wiping his mouth
“Heal this” laughed Jessica as she pointed the staff at him “I wish your bones turned to boric acid!” Norman rumbled and then screamed as his body lost all rigidity and he collapsed in a pile of skin and muscle, the acid inside him eating him away as he screamed like an animal!
“Whoa!” exclaimed Scalphunter reaching for the staff like a child “I wanna go!”
“Six on three,” smiled Sable “You can leave now, or I swear to stark I will kill you all myself!”
“Told ya!” sassed Scalphunter
The Sinister clones glanced between themselves, seeing the unconscious Wilma, the broken glass of what was once Skunk, the bubbling screaming mass that was once Norman, the punctured and bleeding Norma.
“Too slow! I wish you all burst into hellfire!” commanded Jessica. The staff hummed, glowed and a series of lightning bolts smashed through the roof like God Himself was targeting the house. When the smoke cleared, the clones were gone, the house barely standing kindling.
“Same. Spell. Twice!” snapped Silver Sable as she brushed off the splinters and drywall dust.
“This thing doesn’t come with a manual Leann!” yelled Jessica “How the stark did I know someone had tried it huh?”
“I’m fine by the way” coughed Scalphunter. Silver Sable glared at him and rammed her dark energy blade straight into his chest, the tip protruding through his back.
“Not now!” seethed Silver Sable “You hurt my kids, blew up my home, you’re dead!”
“Bitch please!” winced Scalphunter as he grabbed her wrist and removed it from his chest “I totally saved your life during that fight! And you repay me by stabbing me?!”
Silver Sable turned to see her girls, covered in soot, dust and blood standing in the remnants of the kitchen. Kiki had blood dripping from her mouth, Ky a nasty hand sized bruise on her cheek. “Girls!” She broke from Scalphunter and ran to them, smothering them in kisses and hugs
“Are you…” she couldn’t finish as she burst into tears, some fear, some relief, the girls also clinging to her.
“Touching” mocked Scalphunter as he faux brushed tears from his eyes.
“You’re a stark!” said Jessica
“You slept with me!”
“I was drunk!” said Jessica “And you were terrible!”
“Nasty!” Scalphunter slammed his elbow into Jessica’s throat, then back fisted her in the face, dropping her like a stone and snatching up the staff “Now to loose ends. Oh Silver Sable!”
Leann Schmidt looked up at the chatty head of the European Assassination Division, she gripped her girls hands “Don’t…” she whispered.
“I wish your lungs were full of nitro-glycerine!” The staff hummed and Silver Sable’s eyes welled up. She held her breath and stroked her girl’s hair. Scalphunter tapped his foot and looking at an imaginary watch.
Leann looked down at Kiki, and placed a hand over her eyes. She pulled Ky close and buried her head into her hip. Leann’s face turned purple and finally she inhaled; her chest exploded showering the room in her blood.
“You starking animal!” screamed Jessica as she attacked Scalphunter with fury. Scalphunter was shocked at the ferocity, several blows actually landing.
“I wish I was at the beach” said Scalphunter and suddenly he vanished, Jessica swinging into thin air. Jessica burst into tears…then looked over at the two little girls coated in blood and gore of their dead mother.
Jessica stared at the holo-phone, composed herself before speaking into it “Taichou…its Jess. I’ve left two, small, frightened packages for you at the old aquarium. They’re shocked but asleep and got enough food for a week just in case you’re running about like a superspy. Kids aren’t my thing…but there’s no way I’m putting them in the system! Stark! I’m sorry…this is starked! I gotta go…I’m sorry”
Jessica dropped the phone, watching it fall and eventually smash onto the ground. She looked at the view from the top of the San Francisco Iron Hall and inhaled deeply.
“General Ahern will see you now”
Jessica Mongoose composed herself, turned to the aide who had come up to the roof to get her "About time!"