#1 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

(This fan-fic is rate MA mainly due to the implied nastiness of what happens to one of the characters, the potential violence, the actual violence and the fact this is a Punisher story so he deserves a solid MA rating. As I've said before this is me playing in the Marvel sandpit, they own Frank Castle, Maria Castle, Linus Lieberman, Richard Fisk etc; I just made the story up. I also made up the book which Frank slides across to the desk clerk which is a homage to the people who created The Punisher. Enjoy)

Eastman Business Park, Rochester, New York

Richard Fisk crouched down to Maria’s eye level “Are you okay?” he asked with an evil grin across his face. Her face was a swollen and bloody mess “Jeez Paulie!” said Richard “I said not the face. You really are as thick as…”

“She bit me!” protested Paulie holding up his bandaged hand

“Oh well that’s okay then” said Richard sarcastically as he stood up, ashing into Maria’s face “Where are the brats?”

“In the meat locker”

Richard looked over the top of his glasses at his brutish enforcer “Paulie?”

“I just put’em in the meat locker boss. I didn’t kill’em!”

“Well not yet” said Richard cryptically

Maria looked up at her captor, the hatred in her eyes “My husband is going to kill you” she whispered

Richard slammed his foot into Maria’s ribs “Here’s a question for you Mrs Castle; would you have sex with me if it meant I wouldn’t kill your kids? Think about while you’re gasping for breath”

Richard threw his cigarette at her as he left the room “Paulie!”

“Yeah boss!”

“If she talks kick her. If she stands up; punch her in the throat. If she does anything else feel free to strip her naked and go to town on her. And I know you can hear me Mrs Castle so the ball is in your court!” said Richard as he left the storage locker

“Mikey!”

“Yeah boss!” said Mikey who was leaning on the wall outside the locker

“Check in on Paulie from time to time” said Richard as he got in his car “He's not a rocket scientist. And get them kids out of the meat locker; we’re not animals!”

District Attorney’s Office

Frank’s cold eyes stared into Detective Alex Kurtz’s as he tried to contain his rage “What?”

“They’re missing Frank” replied Alex “We’ve got…”

“What good is protective custody?” yelled Frank “That Fisk bastard has my wife and kids!”

“We’ve got units down at his mansion and his office to…”

Frank swore and yelled as shoulder barged his filing cabinet into the wall then booted his chair across the room!

“Frank! Calm down!” snapped Alex

“CALM DOWN!” Frank’s face was red with rage and trembled like an earthquake “MY WIFE! MY KIDS!”

“AND WE’RE DOING EVERYTHING WE LEGALLY CAN FRANK!” Alex yelled back

“NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” Frank headed for the door. Alex grabbed his arm and Frank lashed out knocking his friend to the floor “I’M GOING TO DO WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE YEARS AGO!”

Alex wiped his mouth “THIS IS A POLICE MATTER FRANK!” and tackled his old friend through the office door. The fight erupted, the two old brothers in blue punched the daylights out of each other, neither giving nor asking for a quarter. The office watched the brutal display until two officers finally stepped in and separated the two.

“Where did you send them?” panted Frank, blood dripping from his now fattened lip

“Back off Frank” wheezed Alex, his eyes starting swell

“If something’s happened to them” Frank shook the officer off as he stormed off

“Leave to the police Frank!” yelled Alex “Frank!”

Taxi Cab, New York

Frank’s phone rang, it was Maria “Maria where are you?”

“Oh I’m sorry” came the modified voice from the other end “But Maria is unavailable at present. Unless of course her husband drops the case”

“Where is she you scu...?”

“Drop the case Frank or you’ll be sorry”

“You want me! COME AND GET ME. LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF THIS!”

“You went after mine; I’m simply returning the favour…and doing a better job”

“I’m going to kill you” Frank’s voice was cold, firm and clear

“Silly Frank” and the line went dead

Frank dialled another number “Linus…I need a favour”

One Police Plaza, New York

Frank Castle paced the foyer like a caged tiger. Sergeant Linus Lieberman finally waddled up to him. Frank glared at him

“Seriously” growled Frank “You’re taking your sweet as…”

Sergeant Lieberman extended his hand and took Frank’s. He whispered through his teeth and shaggy moustache “The address is on the paper. They may be watching”

“Thank you officer” said Frank pointing to the toilets

“You’re welcome sir” Linus replied before adding quietly “God speed Frank”

19 Precinct, 153 East 67th Street, New York

Frank walked up to the evidence locker-room, the old cop behind the desk barely moved

“Disappear” said Frank as he slid a copy of Gerry Romita’s book ‘Andru Is Coming’ across the desk. The cop saw the bulge in the middle and simply took the book wordlessly and went on a break. Frank walked into the room and down the aisles of boxes until he found what he was looking for. He grabbed the box and walked back out, his face grim.

Eastman Business Park, Rochester, New York

Richard Fisk walked back into the storage locker. Maria Castle lay on the ground, half naked and badly beaten. Frank Jr and Lisa were tied back to back nearby, muffled crying coming from their gags.

“PAULIE!”

“Yeah boss?”

Richard slapped Paulie across the head “What happened?”

“She spoke, she moved. I did what you told me” yelped Paulie

“Before or after the kids were in the room?”

“Well...both”

Richard glared at his man mountain “If you weren’t so good at what you do, I’d kill you”

“Err thanks boss”

Richard took Maria’s phone from his pocket and called Frank

“Let them go?” seethed Frank down the line

“Have you considered our offer?”

The phone went silent on Frank’s end

“Hello?” said Richard “Rudeness! He tossed the phone into the wall “Mikey!”

“Yeah boss”

“Get the video camera and the cage, seems Mr Castle may be on his way” Richard looked at the terrified Castle family “You’re an animal Paulie”

#2 Posted by Ravager4 (1627 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Just finished reading all of them, and I have to say that it's a very interesting take on Frank Castle and how he's going to become the Punisher. The story builds nicely, and you've definitely made it so the audience wants Fisk and his gang to pay as much as Castle does. I look forward to seeing what happens next.

That being said, there is one thing that kind of bothers me, mostly because I can be a bit of a grammar nazi. There are a lot of instances of missed or forgotten punctuation, no commas/periods at the end of a person's dialogue inside the end quote, and then missing periods at the end of sentences. It isn't everywhere, but does happen pretty frequently, which makes it a little distracting. It doesn't kill the story by any means, which I'm already hooked on, just thought I'd mention it.

#3 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

@Ravager4: Which country are you in? I ask because if you're from America, your grammar is different to mine and a full stop doesn't belong inside quotation marks in Australia. But thank you for checking up and reading my stuff. I shall go over the others and check it out, because more than likely I have made grammatical/spelling errors.

#4 Posted by Ravager4 (1627 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Ah, well that's interesting... didn't know about Australian punctuation differences. I guess I'll just have to live with it, as odd as it looks to me, lol. I guess I learned something new today.

#5 Posted by AgeofHurricane (7303 posts) - - Show Bio

I love it, great stuff you got here.

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

@Ravager4: Yeah its based off the English which is where well the English language comes from but the subtle nuances from each place are different. Canada & Australia are similar to England but the US has US-English. I spell favour & honour with a U while US doesn't. Aluminium is different coz we have an I and US doesn't. And when someone is talking the the quotations marks close unless it's a statement or a question the sentence is over hence the lack of full stop. Now saying that I could have made this ALL up and be wrong, but thats just what I remember from school (which was quite some time ago). Join us next week for International Grammar Nazi's! :)

@AgeofHurricane: Thanks man

#7 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

bump

#8 Posted by Surkit (11603 posts) - - Show Bio

I read it and it's very impressive. It moves fluidly and no part of it takes me out of the moment or bores me. No complaints here great job :)

#9 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

@Surkit: Thanks man, part 6 is also up if you're up for t :)

#10 Posted by ComicStooge (13971 posts) - - Show Bio

Woah, I'm so happy to be reading this again.

#11 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

@ComicStooge: I am so glad you're enjoying it :)

#12 Posted by ComicStooge (13971 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@ComicStooge: I am so glad you're enjoying it :)

I'm so glad you wrote it, dude! :D

#13 Posted by joshmightbe (24736 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm really liking this

#14 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Cool, I'm really glad

#15 Posted by cbishop (7456 posts) - - Show Bio

Paulie, Paulie, Paulie... good help is so hard to find.

#16 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped

#17 Edited by ImpurestCheese (6056 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: This makes me have no confidence in New York's Finest especially if Protective Custody is so easily bypassed

#18 Posted by batkevin74 (11212 posts) - - Show Bio
#19 Posted by ImpurestCheese (6056 posts) - - Show Bio