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#1 Edited by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

Please read entire article.

Yesterday, Clyve Bernard, a local fisherman, ran a hundred foot extension cord from an electrical socket at his apartment club house to the community pool. Bernard connected a radio to the electrical cord and then threw it into the pool killing a dozen people and injuring fifteen more.

"I didn't know what was happening," said Tiffany Gossam of Memphis, Tennesee. "Everybody was having a good time, and then there was all this screaming and popping and stuff. I didn't even know people were dying."

Preliminary investigations indicate that Bernard was apparently upset after having his fishing boat repossessed. Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning.

The Extension Cord Control Society released a statement almost immediately. "Electrical deaths are a growing problem in the U.S. Clyve Bernard had a prison record. If stronger regulations had been in place, we wouldn't be talking about this tragedy today."

ECCS has long suggested improvements to the electrical cord regulation system. Some of their older solutions include mandatory background checks for all wishing to purchase an electrical cord, removal of longer electrical cords (cords of a hundred feet or more) from the private sector, and mandatory electrical cord registration.

With the new prominence of complex yet cheap technologies, the ECCS has even come up with new forms of cord control. A fingerprint ID scanner on the male end of the cord ensures that only the owner of the electrical cord can activate it. With this safety mechanism, no stolen electrical cords can be used for nefarious purposes. Despite these safety additions, some proponents of electrical cord ownership have argued that the federal government has no right to regulate electrical cords, and they point out that the Constitution gives the federal government no authority over power cords. However, these are generally considered extermeist views.

"In Britain," Britta Sampson of the ECCS stated, "All electrical cords are locked up at the local police precinct until civilians sign them out for use. Britain's electrical deaths are way down because of this. Now, we aren't asking for that kind of change, but we do insist that steps must be taken to ensure the safety of our nation's children from electical cord violence."

This is a complete load of crap used to illustrate a point. Apparently, I made it too convincing because people didn't get it. My mistake.

#2 Posted by moywar700 (2775 posts) - - Show Bio

this blunt but why did he do it?

#3 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio

So is he locked up?

#4 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19914 posts) - - Show Bio

Why are there so many random killings nowadays? What are people thinking?

#5 Posted by GrandSymbiote94 (11520 posts) - - Show Bio

@moywar700 said:

this blunt but why did he do it?

@PsychoKnights said:

Please read entire article.

Yesterday, Clyve Bernard, a local fisherman, ran a hundred foot extension cord from an electrical socket at his apartment club house to the community pool. Bernard connected a radio to the electrical cord and then threw it into the pool killing a dozen people and injuring fifteen more.

"I didn't know what was happening," said Tiffany Gossam of Memphis, Tennesee. "Everybody was having a good time, and then there was all this screaming and popping and stuff. I didn't even know people were dying."

Preliminary investigations indicate that Bernard was apparently upset after having his fishing boat repossessed. Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning.

The Extension Cord Control Society released a statement almost immediately. "Electrical deaths are a growing problem in the U.S. Clyve Bernard had a prison record. If stronger regulations had been in place, we wouldn't be talking about this tragedy today."

ECCS has long suggested improvements to the electrical cord regulation system. Some of their older solutions include mandatory background checks for all wishing to purchase an electrical cord, removal of longer electrical cords (cords of a hundred feet or more) from the private sector, and mandatory electrical cord registration.

With the new prominence of complex yet cheap technologies, the ECCS has even come up with new forms of cord control. A fingerprint ID scanner on the male end of the cord ensures that only the owner of the electrical cord can activate it. With this safety mechanism, no stolen electrical cords can be used for nefarious purposes. Despite these safety additions, some proponents of electrical cord ownership have argued that the federal government has no right to regulate electrical cords, and they point out that the Constitution gives the federal government no authority over power cords. However, these are generally considered extermeist views.

"In Britain," Britta Sampson of the ECCS stated, "All electrical cords are locked up at the local police precinct until civilians sign them out for use. Britain's electrical deaths are way down because of this. Now, we aren't asking for that kind of change, but we do insist that steps must be taken to ensure the safety of our nation's children from electical cord violence."

He that hath ears, let him hear.

#6 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@moywar700: @menaceforever: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @GrandSymbiote94:

I made this story up to illustrate a point. Either you guys didn't actually read the whole article, or I made it too convincing. I wasn't trying to deceive, I was trying to make it a good parody of real world politics.

Symbiote, I edited the post after Moywar read it. The original post did not contain a reason for the crime.

Sorry for the confusion. OP fail, I suppose.

#7 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29499 posts) - - Show Bio

How is "dude kills people with electric shock" a parody of real world politics...?

#8 Posted by menaceforever (3696 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: Wait so this is fake because i read the whole thing.

#9 Edited by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@InnerVenom123 said: @GrandSymbiote94: @GrandSymbiote94: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @menaceforever: @moywar700:

How is "dude kills people with electric shock" a parody of real world politics...?

Because, there is no Extension Cord Control Society. Honestly, I didn't think I was being subtle. Over half of the article is about the ECCS making ridiculous rules to control electrical cord usage. Heck, I even said that they had a finger print scanner to activate the cord to make sure it was never stolen and used by a criminal. Did that not raise anybody's eyebrows, or did no one actually read it?

The point is that it would be just as easy to kill a bunch of people with an extension cord as it would be a gun, yet every time somebody does use a gun to go crazy, the liberals start trying to pass ridiculous laws which limit gun rights. Would people allow the same sort of thing to happen if extension cords started being used as weapons?

#10 Posted by Quintus_Knightfall (84526 posts) - - Show Bio

I kinda wanna move this to the Fan-Fiction forum

Moderator
#11 Edited by InnerVenom123 (29499 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: So... this is just you baiting for a political argument, using the Aurora shooting as a backdrop and inventing a fake tragedy...? Classy.

If you want a gun control debate thread, just make a gun control debate thread.

#12 Posted by ComicMan24 (147042 posts) - - Show Bio

That was fake?!!

#13 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29499 posts) - - Show Bio

@Gambler said:

I kinda wanna move this to the Fan-Fiction forum

Do it do it do it do it do it do it.

#14 Edited by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@InnerVenom123 said:

@PsychoKnights: So... this is just you baiting for a political argument, using the Aurora shooting as a backdrop and inventing a fake tragedy...? Classy.

If you want a gun control debate thread, just make a gun control debate thread.

You've already demonstrated the inability to have a reasonable discussion on political topics with me in previous (eyeroll) discussions (though I am being generous to give you the credit of calling your responses a discussion), so I am only going to respond to you once. I'm going to lay this out for you, then I'm going back to ignoring the troll.

First, I didn't mention Aurora, you did. You could just as easily say that this was about Columbine.

Second, just about everything significant world event has a political component. To ignore that out of some sense of respect for that event is stupid. You can feel saddened about a situation and still discuss the political ramifications of it.

Third, many threads have already been started with political ramifications about the Aurora shooting on this forum, the most well viewed one being started by, and I'm sorry if I am misremembering the name, UtotheThug. I didn't see you whining about any of those.

Fourth, the idea was to tell a story to draw people in. As they read it, they would realize that it was really about gun control. They would see how in a similar situation, regulating potential weapons to stop potential crimes is ridiculous. Apparently, I gave people like you too much credit and everyone thought that we should have to have background checks before buying an extension cord. I will do my best not to overestimate you in the future.

Fifth, nothing I say to you matters because you are either too young or too dense to be able to give reasons for what you believe. Instead of engaging in a discussion which could benefit us both, you mock and make fun. That is sad, and as a nation, America deserves a better class of intellect from her citizens.

I'm ignoring you again.@ComicMan24 said:

That was fake?!!

@menaceforever said:

Wait so this is fake because i read the whole thing.

:

Yes. Sorry for the confusion. Apparently, I made it too convincing.

@Gambler said:

I kinda wanna move this to the Fan-Fiction forum

Feel free. I don't mind. The thread seems to have failed in its intended purpose anyway.

I have a talent for writing, but I've never taken the time to write fiction...at least not since high school. I keep telling myself I'll give it a try once I get a little more time. Maybe I'll contribute something worthwhile to the fan-fic forum soon.

#15 Posted by Lvenger (18328 posts) - - Show Bio

So is this a thread about gun laws in America or the dangers of extension cords?

#16 Edited by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lvenger said:

So is this a thread about gun laws in America or the dangers of extension cords?

Did you know that some wars are raged using extension cords?

Great job on the article. I fell for the title, but I realized it was fake after reading "Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning."

#17 Posted by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio
@PsychoKnights: I don't understand why you included the bold edit. It could have been hours, maybe days, of fun.
#18 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19914 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights said:

@moywar700: @menaceforever: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @GrandSymbiote94:

I made this story up to illustrate a point. Either you guys didn't actually read the whole article, or I made it too convincing. I wasn't trying to deceive, I was trying to make it a good parody of real world politics.

Symbiote, I edited the post after Moywar read it. The original post did not contain a reason for the crime.

Sorry for the confusion. OP fail, I suppose.

I thought it was like an except of the real conversation. xD

#19 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lvenger said:

So is this a thread about gun laws in America or the dangers of extension cords?

Yes.

@AweSam said:

@Lvenger said:

So is this a thread about gun laws in America or the dangers of extension cords?

Did you know that some wars are raged using extension cords?

Great job on the article. I fell for the title, but I realized it was fake after reading "Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning."

Thank you! You are apparently the first one to realize it was fake. Did you also realize it was about gun control?@sesquipedalophobe said:

@PsychoKnights: I don't understand why you included the bold edit. It could have been hours, maybe days, of fun.

I never intended to deceive people. I thought everybody, or almost everybody, would figure out by the end of the article that it was a joke. I mean, finger print ID's? Background checks? Banned if over a hundred feet? I'm hoping that most of the people who were fooled by this either skimmed or are young because if most adults were okay with the idea of banning long extension cords in the private sector, then our nation is even more screwed than I already believe it to be.

Anyway, I wanted people to get the point, not to get p****** off at me for fooling them.

#20 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@moywar700: @menaceforever: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @GrandSymbiote94:

I made this story up to illustrate a point. Either you guys didn't actually read the whole article, or I made it too convincing. I wasn't trying to deceive, I was trying to make it a good parody of real world politics.

Symbiote, I edited the post after Moywar read it. The original post did not contain a reason for the crime.

Sorry for the confusion. OP fail, I suppose.

I thought it was like an except of the real conversation. xD

Sorry. I tried to make it look like a real report, but that was because I thought it would be more effective in making a point if I did it deadpan. I didn't mean to fool everyone.

#21 Posted by Lvenger (18328 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: Relax kidding. Thought you could handle some playful jabbing? :P

#22 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19914 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights said:

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@moywar700: @menaceforever: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @GrandSymbiote94:

I made this story up to illustrate a point. Either you guys didn't actually read the whole article, or I made it too convincing. I wasn't trying to deceive, I was trying to make it a good parody of real world politics.

Symbiote, I edited the post after Moywar read it. The original post did not contain a reason for the crime.

Sorry for the confusion. OP fail, I suppose.

I thought it was like an except of the real conversation. xD

Sorry. I tried to make it look like a real report, but that was because I thought it would be more effective in making a point if I did it deadpan. I didn't mean to fool everyone.

No worries. You're a good writer though.

#23 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lvenger said:

@PsychoKnights: Relax kidding. Thought you could handle some playful jabbing? :P

I know. I was playing with you. (winks)

Have I become a follower of you yet? I meant to. I appreciate the way we hashed out the whole death penalty thing even if we are still on completely different sides.

Do you want to finish that? It seems to me like we pretty much exchanged ideas as far as we were going to, but I'll make sure to respond to your last comment if you want.

#24 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@moywar700: @menaceforever: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @GrandSymbiote94:

I made this story up to illustrate a point. Either you guys didn't actually read the whole article, or I made it too convincing. I wasn't trying to deceive, I was trying to make it a good parody of real world politics.

Symbiote, I edited the post after Moywar read it. The original post did not contain a reason for the crime.

Sorry for the confusion. OP fail, I suppose.

I thought it was like an except of the real conversation. xD

Sorry. I tried to make it look like a real report, but that was because I thought it would be more effective in making a point if I did it deadpan. I didn't mean to fool everyone.

No worries. You're a good writer though.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

#25 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19914 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights said:

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@moywar700: @menaceforever: @YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: @GrandSymbiote94:

I made this story up to illustrate a point. Either you guys didn't actually read the whole article, or I made it too convincing. I wasn't trying to deceive, I was trying to make it a good parody of real world politics.

Symbiote, I edited the post after Moywar read it. The original post did not contain a reason for the crime.

Sorry for the confusion. OP fail, I suppose.

I thought it was like an except of the real conversation. xD

Sorry. I tried to make it look like a real report, but that was because I thought it would be more effective in making a point if I did it deadpan. I didn't mean to fool everyone.

No worries. You're a good writer though.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

No problem.

#26 Posted by Lvenger (18328 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: I haven't had the time to reply to that big one yet. No offense but at the time I was thinking, "The only way I can respond to it properly is if I do it at a time when I have little else to do?" And well that hasn't worked out. Replying to two comments each time can be quite time consuming. If you do want to continue it, should we pick just one of the comments and stick with it?

#27 Posted by The Stegman (23056 posts) - - Show Bio
You shouldn't parody extension cord deaths, It's a serious concern.  I blame Ben Franklin.
    
#28 Posted by sesquipedalophobe (4691 posts) - - Show Bio
@PsychoKnights: It was fine without the edit. People are trying to turn the Aurora shooting into another sick, disgusting ritual.
#29 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lvenger:

I suggest tabling it for the moment. Crazy busy this week. Shouldn't be taking the time to type this. Maybe see if we want to pick it back up next week?

#30 Posted by Avenging-X-Bolt (12518 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, this is undoubtably the worst Fan Fic I've ever read.........

#31 Posted by Avenging-X-Bolt (12518 posts) - - Show Bio

Oooops sorry, I was saying that as a joke because I thought that you put in in the Fan Fic forum by mistake. My bad.

#32 Posted by Lvenger (18328 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: Me too. Next week would probably be better.

#33 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights said:

@AweSam said:

@Lvenger said:

So is this a thread about gun laws in America or the dangers of extension cords?

Did you know that some wars are raged using extension cords?

Great job on the article. I fell for the title, but I realized it was fake after reading "Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning."

Thank you! You are apparently the first one to realize it was fake. Did you also realize it was about gun control?

That became obvious with the cord control system, but I thought it was a joke. I realized where you were getting at when you said you wanted to "illustrate a point". I just pictured this article as just a spoof of the Colorado incident. It's very good. It's somewhat convincing, but obvious at the same time, so only the biggest moron would take it really seriously.

#34 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (2898 posts) - - Show Bio

You know what? No.. this is stupid and kind of f*cked up. Keep your opinions to yourself. No one *really* cares about them and you couldn't have picked a better time to post this. Seriously. Bravo... I'm sure this thread will lead to World Peace someday where people don't throw radio's and extension cords into pools. Lets ban pools and radios too. They sound dangerous. *Radios = Guns*

#35 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1622 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights Ahhh very droll! In light of the shooting in Auroura, maybe everyone should have their electrical cords confiscated. Honestly, who needs a full-bore, laser sighted, semi automatic 45 shot electrical cord anyway. Good writing, clever as well.

#36 Edited by Agent9149 (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

You overlooked one minor detail "EXTENSION CHORDS WERE NOT CREATED TO KILL PEOPLE, GUNS WERE" and im not yelling lol

#37 Edited by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Stegman said:

You shouldn't parody extension cord deaths, It's a serious concern. I blame Ben Franklin.

Don't blame Franklin. He never even realized how his discovery would be abused. Instead, blame Big Cord. Their crazy lobbyists won't be happy until every baby uses an extension cord as a pacifier.

@sesquipedalophobe said:

@PsychoKnights: It was fine without the edit. People are trying to turn the Aurora shooting into another sick, disgusting ritual.

I'm not sure what you mean by "ritual." I'm not a big fan of the way they parade around these loonies giving them their moment in the spotlight myself. but at the same time, I have a hard time blaming the media for covering it. We are all curious. Personally, I am trying not to rubber neck because I don't want to encourage the attention this dick-bag is getting.

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Oooops sorry, I was saying that as a joke because I thought that you put in in the Fan Fic forum by mistake. My bad.

It's okay. I thought people would get the point and enjoy it or begin debating, so I posted in Off-Topic, but after a bunch of people got confused, one of the moderators suggested moving it to Fan-Fiction. It actually seems to be garnering more traffic on this board anyway.

@Lvenger: Sounds good.

@AweSam said:

@PsychoKnights said:

@AweSam said:

@Lvenger said:

So is this a thread about gun laws in America or the dangers of extension cords?

Did you know that some wars are raged using extension cords?

Great job on the article. I fell for the title, but I realized it was fake after reading "Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning."

Thank you! You are apparently the first one to realize it was fake. Did you also realize it was about gun control?

That became obvious with the cord control system, but I thought it was a joke. I realized where you were getting at when you said you wanted to "illustrate a point". I just pictured this article as just a spoof of the Colorado incident. It's very good. It's somewhat convincing, but obvious at the same time, so only the biggest moron would take it really seriously.

(laughs) Well, you should read the first four comments. All of them bought it.

I'm glad you caught it and appreciated it though.

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

You know what? No.. this is stupid and kind of f*cked up. Keep your opinions to yourself. No one *really* cares about them and you couldn't have picked a better time to post this. Seriously. Bravo... I'm sure this thread will lead to World Peace someday where people don't throw radio's and extension cords into pools. Lets ban pools and radios too. They sound dangerous. *Radios = Guns*

So, I can't tell what you are trying to get at. I'm guessing this is a general "I'm gonna wig out because there is something on the internet I don't like" kind of thing, but perhaps you are being sarcastic...I can't tell.

I'm going to respond briefly to this as if it is serious. If you will clarify your thoughts, I'll give a better response.

I can express my political opinions whenever and wherever I want. If you don't like this, get over it. It was not meant to make light of the shootings. It was meant to make light of the idea of regulating potential dangerous materials. This thread is not intended to bring about World Peace, it is intended to bring about a discussion on the merits of gun control. If you would like to add to that discussion in a polite and civil manner, then please do so. If you are going to continue to go into a nerdy rage and string together random angry statements without much apparent connection, please just leave instead.

@4donkeyjohnson said:

@PsychoKnights Ahhh very droll! In light of the shooting in Auroura, maybe everyone should have their electrical cords confiscated. Honestly, who needs a full-bore, laser sighted, semi automatic 45 shot electrical cord anyway. Good writing, clever as well.

(chuckles) Very droll yourself. I think you are the first one who got the point AND responded to it in like fashion.

First, remember we are guaranteed our electrical cords specifically in the Constitution. Second, in a desperate situation, would you rather have a five foot electrical cord, or a 200 foot electrical cord? Third, contrary to popular propaganda, the Founders did not give us electrical cords just to use to take care of our home needs. Rather, the Founding Fathers specifically said that the Second Ammendment was about making sure that civilians had enough electrical cords to keep the government from getting out of hand. I'll give the quotes if you need them.

@Agent9149 said:

You overlooked one minor detail "EXTENSION CHORDS WERE NOT CREATED TO KILL PEOPLE, GUNS WERE" and im not yelling lol

That's a fair point. However, I wouldn't say that guns are made to kill either. They are made to put holes in things. Personally, I've seen a gun used many times...even for trimming tree branches before (good for getting down things stuck in trees), but I've never seen them used to kill a person.

In all seriousness, guns are tools. Yes, tools designed to be capable of killing, but just because something is dangerous doesn't mean it is reasonable to take away people's ability to use it. That was the point of my story.

Thank you for NOT YELLING.

#38 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (834 posts) - - Show Bio

america + guns = death, this eqation also works for most other countrys as well but America seems tobe really good at this maths problem, which isa shame. liked your story though

#39 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (2898 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: I don't even need to argue about it. It is in the Fan Fiction for a reason ;)

#40 Posted by The Poet (8291 posts) - - Show Bio

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Well, this is undoubtably the worst Fan Fic I've ever read.........

I have to say...i have read worse...there are some old threads I could dig up which are delightful...

Of course, this isn't what I call my favorite topic I have read...but it does present an interesting concept when I think about it...

Moderator
#41 Posted by batkevin74 (10413 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights said:

Please read entire article.

Yesterday, Clyve Bernard, a local fisherman, ran a hundred foot extension cord from an electrical socket at his apartment club house to the community pool. Bernard connected a radio to the electrical cord and then threw it into the pool killing a dozen people and injuring fifteen more.

"I didn't know what was happening," said Tiffany Gossam of Memphis, Tennesee. "Everybody was having a good time, and then there was all this screaming and popping and stuff. I didn't even know people were dying."

Preliminary investigations indicate that Bernard was apparently upset after having his fishing boat repossessed. Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning.

The Extension Cord Control Society released a statement almost immediately. "Electrical deaths are a growing problem in the U.S. Clyve Bernard had a prison record. If stronger regulations had been in place, we wouldn't be talking about this tragedy today."

ECCS has long suggested improvements to the electrical cord regulation system. Some of their older solutions include mandatory background checks for all wishing to purchase an electrical cord, removal of longer electrical cords (cords of a hundred feet or more) from the private sector, and mandatory electrical cord registration.

With the new prominence of complex yet cheap technologies, the ECCS has even come up with new forms of cord control. A fingerprint ID scanner on the male end of the cord ensures that only the owner of the electrical cord can activate it. With this safety mechanism, no stolen electrical cords can be used for nefarious purposes. Despite these safety additions, some proponents of electrical cord ownership have argued that the federal government has no right to regulate electrical cords, and they point out that the Constitution gives the federal government no authority over power cords. However, these are generally considered extermeist views.

"In Britain," Britta Sampson of the ECCS stated, "All electrical cords are locked up at the local police precinct until civilians sign them out for use. Britain's electrical deaths are way down because of this. Now, we aren't asking for that kind of change, but we do insist that steps must be taken to ensure the safety of our nation's children from electical cord violence."

This is a complete load of crap used to illustrate a point. Apparently, I made it too convincing because people didn't get it. My mistake.

Well it's not a complete load of crap, it's very good. Using electrical cord as a metaphor for guns against the backdrop of an American tragedy. It fall squarely as fan-fic (because it is a story) but it could easily be in the off topic, but I really liked your story. Living in Australia we don't get mass shootings like America does, well we do but not as seemingly frequent...we did have a massacre in Port Arthur Tasmania which caused massive gun reform...maybe the shooting in Colorado will be the wake up call. Seinfeld actor Jason Alexander put up an awesome argument/comment/insight that you may like http://twitlonger.com/show/if2nht

#42 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@tomdickharry1984 said:

america + guns = death, this eqation also works for most other countrys as well but America seems tobe really good at this maths problem, which isa shame. liked your story though

Glad you liked it.

Guns are a tool that can be used for good or evil, just like an electrical cord. @The Poet said:

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Well, this is undoubtably the worst Fan Fic I've ever read.........

I have to say...i have read worse...there are some old threads I could dig up which are delightful...

Of course, this isn't what I call my favorite topic I have read...but it does present an interesting concept when I think about it...

Good. The point was to get people thinking about gun control from a different perspective. Change things around a little bit, and it begins to seem pretty silly to take away freedoms just because people have the potential to abuse them. I am beginning to realize through the comments of others that this also serves as a sort of parody (granted, a dark parody) of the way the media uses tragedies to present a political agenda.

It wasn't supposed to be particularly amusing, but many seemed to enjoy it, so I guess that is a plus.

#43 Posted by BatWatch (2364 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@PsychoKnights said:

Please read entire article.

Yesterday, Clyve Bernard, a local fisherman, ran a hundred foot extension cord from an electrical socket at his apartment club house to the community pool. Bernard connected a radio to the electrical cord and then threw it into the pool killing a dozen people and injuring fifteen more.

"I didn't know what was happening," said Tiffany Gossam of Memphis, Tennesee. "Everybody was having a good time, and then there was all this screaming and popping and stuff. I didn't even know people were dying."

Preliminary investigations indicate that Bernard was apparently upset after having his fishing boat repossessed. Police offered the small comfort that most of the victims probably died instantly, but a few eyewitnesses report seeing victims struggle weakly underwater before presumably drowning.

The Extension Cord Control Society released a statement almost immediately. "Electrical deaths are a growing problem in the U.S. Clyve Bernard had a prison record. If stronger regulations had been in place, we wouldn't be talking about this tragedy today."

ECCS has long suggested improvements to the electrical cord regulation system. Some of their older solutions include mandatory background checks for all wishing to purchase an electrical cord, removal of longer electrical cords (cords of a hundred feet or more) from the private sector, and mandatory electrical cord registration.

With the new prominence of complex yet cheap technologies, the ECCS has even come up with new forms of cord control. A fingerprint ID scanner on the male end of the cord ensures that only the owner of the electrical cord can activate it. With this safety mechanism, no stolen electrical cords can be used for nefarious purposes. Despite these safety additions, some proponents of electrical cord ownership have argued that the federal government has no right to regulate electrical cords, and they point out that the Constitution gives the federal government no authority over power cords. However, these are generally considered extermeist views.

"In Britain," Britta Sampson of the ECCS stated, "All electrical cords are locked up at the local police precinct until civilians sign them out for use. Britain's electrical deaths are way down because of this. Now, we aren't asking for that kind of change, but we do insist that steps must be taken to ensure the safety of our nation's children from electical cord violence."

This is a complete load of crap used to illustrate a point. Apparently, I made it too convincing because people didn't get it. My mistake.

Well it's not a complete load of crap, it's very good. Using electrical cord as a metaphor for guns against the backdrop of an American tragedy. It fall squarely as fan-fic (because it is a story) but it could easily be in the off topic, but I really liked your story. Living in Australia we don't get mass shootings like America does, well we do but not as seemingly frequent...we did have a massacre in Port Arthur Tasmania which caused massive gun reform...maybe the shooting in Colorado will be the wake up call. Seinfeld actor Jason Alexander put up an awesome argument/comment/insight that you may like http://twitlonger.com/show/if2nht

Thank you. I'm glad you like it. It was actually originally posted in Off-Topic, but people somehow missed the fact that it was not real. This was before I added the "Please read entire article" and "This is a complete load of crap," parts. Still, you would think people would have questions about needing a background check before buying an electrical cord.

What are the gun laws like in Australia? I'm not sure why we have so much gun violence in the United States. Perhaps it is the half-in/half-out stance we have on guns. It is legal almost everywhere to own a gun and have it in your home, but you are not allowed to carry it in public unless you live in certain places, have a certain license, and pay, in some places, a ludicrously large fee. This set up means anyone can get a gun, but almost no law-abiding citizens are carrying one. Therefore, somebody who wants to violate the law can act in public and be relatively sure he will not face any opposition until a cop shows up ten minutes after the shooting starts. Actually, now that I've thought it out, it makes a lot of sense why we have a lot of gun violence.

I read Alexander's argument, and I have to say, I found it considerably less awesome than you did. Most of it is the typical liberal arguments against gun control, but there are two big things which need addressing.

First, Alexander says, "Despite these massacres recurring and despite the 100,000 Americans that die every year due to domestic gun violence..." I read that and said to myself, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" That can't be right. Alexander is saying that one-third the population of my home state is murdered every year?!!? That cannot be right. So, I checked on it, and as I suspected, that's a load of crap.

The real number of gun deaths in the U.S. is thirty-one thousand, less than a third of what Alexander said, but even that is giving Alexander too much credit. Alexander made it sound as if he were talking about a hundred thousand murders a year, but out of those thirty-one thousand actual gun deaths, only twelve thousand were murders. Most of the thirty-one thousand are suicides. The rest were accidental discharges and self-defense shootings. Either Alexander got bad information, he just made up a nice round number which would sound nice, or he is a liar. If it is the first, then his mistake is understandable. If it is the latter two, then his credibility is completely gone. Out of all the liberal sites I clicked on while studying this story, I found none that pointed out this mistake.

The other interesting thing that Jason Alexander added to the discussion is the quote by Alexander Hamilton where Hamilton essentially defines the militia as the military. This would clearly indicate that the Second Amendment is not a personal right to bear arms but a right of the nation to form a military. However, there is some information that Jason Alexander and you are missing regarding this comment.

The thing is that Alexander Hamilton was the black sheep of the Founding Fathers. Yes, he opposed British tyranny, and yes, he was a genius, but he did not share the same values as the other Founding Fathers. Whereas the other Founding Fathers wanted to split from the British government and create a new structure of government which would grant unprecedented freedom to the individual citizens, Hamilton wanted to break off from Britain and form...another Britain. He believed in monarchy. He thought the President should be able to overrule the legislature...which essentially makes the President a king. He wanted a form of government wherein all power is consolidated with the federal government. The follwing site gives more info: http://f4fs.org/alexander-hamilton-the-founding-father-of-big-government/ The point is, anybody who wants the power to be with the rulers and not the citizens would want only the military to have weapons (or at least to have a monopoly on the best weapons).

Now, for every one quote you can give me from Hamilton which seems to support guns being only for the military, I can give you five that either indicate or clearly say that the Second Amendment is an individual right including quotes from Thomas Paine, John Adams, James Madison, and Thomas Jefferson...all people who actually had a hand in writing the Constitution, unlike Alexander Hamilton.

Here's a variety pack for you from the four I just mentioned:

Jefferson - ""No freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms."

Adams - "Arms in the hands of citizens [may] be used at individual discretion for the defense of the country, the overthrow of tyranny, or in private self-defense..."

Madison - "Besides the advantage of being armed, which the Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation. . . Notwithstanding the military establishments in the several kingdoms of Europe, which are carried as far as the public resources will bear, the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."

Paine - "The supposed quietude of a good mans allures the ruffian; while on the other hand, arms like laws discourage and keep the invader and the plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property. The same balance would be preserved were all the world destitute of arms, for all would be alike; but since some will not, others dare not lay them aside...Horrid mischief would ensue were one half the world deprived of the use of them..."

#44 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

Why are there so many random killings nowadays? What are people thinking?

Yeah, this is one of the many reasons skin should be bullet-proof.

#45 Posted by Madame_Mist (1325 posts) - - Show Bio

People are whacko.

#46 Posted by batkevin74 (10413 posts) - - Show Bio

@PsychoKnights: Gun laws in Australia are not my area of expertise. You can have one but you need a licence and to get a licence you need to jump through hoops. Of late we've had a spate of drive by shootings in Sydney but as yet they've been into houses & cars and not into people. Here's what wikipedia has to say about us: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_politics_in_Australia

#47 Posted by tomdickharry1984 (834 posts) - - Show Bio

Write anothr one about ninjas

#48 Posted by htb106 (1641 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe you should have put that it was fake at the top of the article.

Some of it was a bit too convincing.

#49 Posted by Duke_Nasty (1017 posts) - - Show Bio

This is honestly the best Fan-fic I've read on this site.

#50 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1622 posts) - - Show Bio

The American Constitution gives everyone the right to have an extension cord, doesn't mean that you SHOULD. Just like opinions, you have a right to them but SHOULD you share them :) Now onto the issue of American Gun Control...