Lightning God (side story): Battle to take Rea

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lowlaville

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#1  Edited By lowlaville

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The names used are the original names of the characters. For example, the RPG character in my About Me page is Ali Outsider in the story. Not that it matters, I can give them any name I choose to. Enjoy!

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“Letting those two fight….is nothing short of a disaster.” Mohamed NightCrawler looked in contempt, standing behind his friend and current king of Shea: Ahmed Outsider.

“At the very least, they are…” Ahmed sat down in his throne, placed high above the stadium on a floating base. “Who do you think is going to win?” He asked, looking at the flat screen in front of him. It showed the Mohamed and Ali in a far off location, ready to fight seriously.

Mohamed chuckled, sitting next to Ahmed, “I am, obviously.”

Ahmed laughed, but didn’t say anything. He knew it was probably true. Mohamed was only 10 years of age when he faced off against the Great Dragon Riga, who was the strongest of the 4 Heavenly kings. He survived the clash without so much as a scratch on his body. Riga learned just how fast Mohamed was on that day, and he could cross continents in mere seconds.

Ali fired a 6 meter wide lightning bolt at his big brother Mohamed Outsider with a gesture of his hand. The lightning bolt vaporized rocks and the sand as it raced at blinding speeds towards Mohamed.

“That’s not going to work little brother…” Mohamed appeared behind Ali and swung his fist, intending to kill.

Ali shocked Mohamed when his fist landed on Ali and punctured right through the left shoulder, and before he could react, exploded. He had no time to react. “Don’t underestimate me bro…” Ali laughed, standing far away. It was a clone made out of lightning that his brother just punched.

Back at the stadium, Ibrahim Outsider had gotten up. “Damn that NightCrawler…” All around him, bodies were lying unconscious on the ground. Mohamed NightCrawler had disposed of 35 of Shea’s strongest S+ class warriors in an instant. Ibrahim could only wake up from the forced sleep because of Magus whom he had fused with before the battle. It could retain consciousness to heal the puncture wound to the Ibrahim’s neck.

“Can you track them down?” Ibrahim asked Magus as he started floating up. Fusing with Magus gives Ibrahim the ability to fly and control the element Air. Magus also has keen senses, developed specifically to hunt down its prey; Dragons which tend to fly for thousands of kilometers to escape it.

Magus growled, annoyed by that remark. It had already locked on to Mohamed NightCrawler’s scent. “That way.” It said, pointing east. Ibrahim zoomed. Not being as fast as the others, it took Ibrahim about a minute and a half to arrive at the scene.

“Look who showed up…” Ahmed looked up at his youngest son who just arrived. He looked just about ready for a fight.

“Useless nuisance… “, Mohamed NightCrawler said. A moment later, Ibrahim fell down from the sky, unconscious.

“A fight would’ve been enjoyable…” Ahmed sighed.

Both of them were caught off guard when a blast almost took them out. Had they not moved in that split second, they would have probably died. Behind them, Ibrahim had gotten up. He looked more like a dragon now, “Good thing you dodged….humans.” Ibrahim had a strange deep coarse voice.

“Magus....where’s Ibrahim?” Ahmed asked.

“He’s knocked unconscious…I don’t need weaklings like him hindering me anyway…so thank you NightCrawler.” Magus was laughing. Since merging with Ibrahim, it had gained a body. But with Ibrahim to control it, Magus was little more than a shell. Unlike back at the stadium, Magus did not bother waking up Ibrahim. He knew it would be useless, especially when Ibrahim is slower than he is.

“I see…so I need to do that twice with you merged with him.” Mohamed said. Magus went down the next instant.

“Your carelessness could’ve killed us.” Ahmed frowned. Magus is a dangerous immortal beast that the Phantoms sealed for the good of everyone in the realm. Sometimes called the Devourer it gets stronger as it consumes creatures in the realm. Legends even say Magus is their master the Beasts Appetite in physical form.

Mohamed charged out of the explosion. He had bruises on both his arms. Then, he disappeared from view. Appearing above Ali this time, used both his clenched fists to deliver a powerful hammer blow to Ali’s head. This time, Ali was caught off-guard and the attack would’ve killed him. Ali sensed his brother; leaped forward and was barely able dodged it. The blow connected with the Earth and created a massive Earthquake that destroyed the terrain around for miles.

Mohamed NightCrawler teleported with his friend as the cliff they were on collapsed. They landed on a boulder as the tremors settled down. Ali and his brother were facing each other. It already became clear who was faster and inevitably stronger. Even before Ali and Mohamed defeated and killed the Great Dragon, they were both counted as one of the strongest in the realm. Afterwards, their speed rose to a level where they could compete with their younger sister Asiyath who is considered to be the fastest being in the realm with speeds greater than light. However, Mohamed was slightly slower than Ali due to the nature of his power.

On one side, Ali has an affinity to air; Mohamed has the affinity to Earth. Ali can fly and Mohamed cannot. Earth being heavier than Air naturally slows Mohamed down while Ali is able to maintain a considerable speed. More than that, Ali has lightning based abilities he can use to further boost his speed and gravity defying abilities make him even faster. Since Ali can naturally manipulate and project lightning, he is also able to produce electromagnetic fields that he uses to manipulate the gravitational pull of Earth. So while Mohamed is still among 3 of the fastest beings in the realm, he falls considerably short of Ali’s speed.

Mohamed was enraged now. His limitations were starting to show, and Ali was nowhere close to giving this fight all he had. He stomped the ground and pulled out a mountainous boulder and kicked it towards Ali. Mohamed sent 5 of them one after the other. Each of the mountains was the size of a Yagrassil. Ali used his lightning cutter to dispose of the rocks. Little he knew that it was a mere distraction. Mohamed snuck up from behind and as Ali was about to smash through the last one. He grabbed Ali and slammed him headfirst against the oncoming boulder, smashing it with Ali’s head.

Fortunately for Ali, God Mode negated most of the damage that would otherwise have proven fatal. Mohamed wasn’t done. He appeared on Ali’s back and smashed on his back with his clenched fist; planting Ali into the ground. The force of the impact fractured the ground and Ali fell in, seemingly knocked unconscious. Mohamed didn’t pause. He fired a power beam at Ali from his mouth. The beam exploded on contact, and vaporized the earth around Ali, taking him with it.

Ahmed Outsider clapped both his hands in excitement, “My sons are strong!”

“…Aren’t you worried?” Mohamed asked, looking quite worried. Ali has not been known to be a fighter. He hates fighting. Even if he is stronger, a battled hardened veteran will find the way to succeed.

“…about Ali? Hah no. I’m more worried about Mohamed.” Ahmed said, laughing. “If he gets serious…Mohamed can lose his life.”

In the wake of the explosion, a vast crater was left. Ali was lying in the middle of it. He didn’t seem to have suffered any external injury but he had been knocked unconscious, the god mode had deactivated.

Mohamed laughed, “You either underestimated Mohamed or overestimated Ali…”

Ahmed didn’t know what to say. Perhaps he did underestimate Mohamed. Mohamed NightCrawler disappeared. He appeared behind Mohamed Outsider, and tried to slash his neck. Mohamed grabbed the hand and whipped him forward. Mohamed NightCrawler disappeared as he got swung, appearing behind Mohamed again and with the force that he was thrown at, slashed Mohamed Outsiders neck. It was just enough to knock him out.

Ahmed carried three of his sons to the stadium where the fight began, and declared Ahmed NightCrawler victorious. He immidiately stepped down from the throne, making Ahmed NightCrawler the king of Shea.

"War on Rea." He declared. "Without Great Dragon, taking them down is going to be easy." Mohamed NightCrawler said.

Ahmed liked the thought. He and his sons were going to enjoy the war.

"War?" Ali asked, "Why..."

"Because we can!" Ahmed said, flailing his clenched fist in the air.

Ali sighed, it was always a war, here or there. However, Shea has never openly challanged for a war. In the coming weeks, Mohamed NightCrawler met with the Guardian of the Beast and set up a singles war pact with Rea. This was going to be invasion based, with Sheans moving across the border and spreading destruction all over Rea. War ends when more than one general of either country falls in battle. Shea was going to have 6 generals. Rexxar IronHide, Ali Outsider, Mohamed Outsider, Azan Castle, Ahmed Outsider and Solih Castle. 10 camps were set up inside Shean border on strategic locations so that Reans could not break into Shea.

"I want to be a general old man!" Ibrahim complained, standing in front of Ahmed who sat on his throne, set up inside a large tent close to the Rean border.

"You are too damn weak boy." Ahmed sighed, the brat has been asking to be made general almost everyday now. "...And dangerous." He added.

Ibrahim left, seemingly defeated. Ali walked in, holding a map. He opened it on the desk inside the tent, "We will march through here..." Ahmed came walking up to stare at the map. Ali and Azan were the battle tacticians of the 6 generals. On top of being two of the strongest of the 6 generals, they were also the most intellectually capable. "...here, and here. Archers up here..."

Ahmed knew well he actually didnt need to follow any set battleplan. The plan was simple, kill 2 generals. He had two intended targets. Lightning Dragon and Minus Dragon. They were the ones responsible for the death of their former king, the Heavenly King of Shea: the Abomination.

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ImpurestCheese

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@lowlaville: An interesting start and one that presents an interesting often underused theme. General writing was good although their was some spacing required with the names but it is only a little niggle.

The one major problem that works against the story is the lack of description. Since the characters appear to be OCs there are no images and while you know what they look like the reader does not. Also there are terms such as Yagrissil, God Mode and S+ Class that are unfamiliar. Either explain them or add a glossary at the end and you should be able to negate this problem.

All in all an interesting piece of work and with some modifications a title that will hopefully draw more readers in.

P.S Don't feel too bad a lot of writers don't get as many comments as they should. There is a definite negative bias towards certain names no matter how good the writing.

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lowlaville

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#3  Edited By lowlaville

@impurestcheese: Thank you for the comments, I will definitely try and improve my writing for the second part. Maybe you will stick around to read, and comment on it. =o

-Yggdrasil are giant big trees whose roots span the entirety of the realm across continents.

- The realm known as the Realm of the Beast is centered around a tiny island with a shacked creature known as the 'Master', and a core guardian. Then, there is a vast ocean around this island. Then comes the ringed continent. Its in the shape of a giant big ring. Theres an outer ocean as well. The realm is actually a planet, that can only be accessed via a gateway in the Bermuda triangle. Theres also a Gate Guardian.

Next time around, Ill include full description for characters, as well as the Shean ranking system. Its different for countries in the Realm. Like, an SS+ class of Rea is an S+ class in Shea. Difference in power of Sheans are great.

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Christianjones

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#4  Edited By Christianjones

Wow pretty good! Try and add more description but not too much description-reread it to make sure it reads as perfect as a New York Times best selling book and you'll be great!