#1 Posted by comicbookkid (43 posts) - - Show Bio

kira vs wolverine

xmen mansion monday 7.34pm

professor X sits behind his desk unable to talk just watching in wonder as his computer screen show 8 people all having heart attacks at the same time in the same place

the video finishes and professor X looks up at the boy who brout him the recording and replys and they where all healthy the boy replys yes and all of the where criminals

professor do you know why i am here

yes you wish to see logen but your reasons i am not sure i understand

well we want to make kira believe that logan is L i trust as i mind reader you know who he is

yes i do

good then you can see why we would want logan we simply make logan go up to are suspect and say he is L and that he needs his help in finding kira we give them logans name and when he attempts to kill him logan will of couse suffer from a heart attack but will soon recover all we will have kira behind bars before you can say he can die

good plan theres just one probablam

whats that

logan ran off

so you dont know where he is

no i know where he is

where is he

south africa a little town called umba

thanks i can get some one there by tomorrow

what do i call you i looked in your mind and i could not find a name

call me near

umba tuesday 1.29pm

wolverine walks slowly down a street i girl who looks about 19 shout logan at him he turns around

who are you and what do you want

i have be sent to give you this

she hands him a file he lazily flips thought it to the end where he read so thing that gets his attention he looks up and says that he is in

good theres a plane waiting to take you to tokyo

a hotel sweet Wednesday 4.12pm

a boy sits on a bed eating sugery snacks when he is startled by a nock at the door

come in

logan and the girl walk in the boy says to the girl M you are no longer needed and turns to wolverine

do you know who i am

no

i am L

so what you need me for

i need you to help me FIND some one

okay all i need is there sent

well i don't have it but i think i know who they are i need your help in a different way

what why do you need me help

as it happens i need you to be me

end of part 1

#2 Posted by Project_Worm (3492 posts) - - Show Bio

@comicbookkid: The premise is... interesting , but there are far to many grammatical and writing mistakes in general to make this enjoyable. My suggestion is to give your stories another ten minutes of editing before posting them. And please, use quotation marks.

#3 Posted by comicbookkid (43 posts) - - Show Bio

@Project_Worm: yer i know it was about 2am when i write it and i was very sleepy

#4 Posted by comicbookkid (43 posts) - - Show Bio

part 2 wont have as many mistakes

hopfully