Posted by Squalleon (4874 posts) - - Show Bio

Here is the link to part 1!

The characters mentioned in the story are owned by DC entertainment! Rated E for everyone!

It’s been five days since the last meeting of the league! Bruce hasn’t responded to any of the league’s calls. I think he is investigating the “Vesuvius incident”! I should check up on him, see if I can help! I fly to Gotham at three times the speed of sound avoiding commercial air lines along the way! The crevice behind the Wayne mansion which I enter is very small , flying inside the cave at this speed needs precision and technique! Bruce hates when I come uninvited I can see it on his face!

“Hello Clark I was expecting you……..sooner or later”, he said.

-Hello Bruce, I came here to ask you if you have any information regarding the natural disasters of last week.

“You are lucky Clark”, He takes a big breath which means he found something and he is gonna explain it to me really fast!

“Let's make the assumption that the three incidents of last week were manmade and they were diversions to take us off our playing field! That means that our enemy has in his or her possession advanced technology that would make my computer look like a calculator! Such equipment is expensive so our enemy isn’t after the money his goals are far too different! For the last five days I have been examining footage of every high-tech lab in the east coast of US! Since our enemies first diversion was at the West coast and later outside of US, I started with the most likely place for them to make an attack!

-You know what I found?

-What?

-Nothing! Virtually at least.

-What do you mean?

He points his finger on the monitor of the computer! We see footage of a lab owned by N.O.R.A. LABS, I won’t even ask how he got this! Everything seems normal so I ask “Where is the problem?” , he rewinds the tape.

“Look closely to the time he says”, so I look and there it is only for one glimpse of the eye.

-The Time stopped for some centiseconds!

-Exactly!

-How did you even notice this?

-I am a detective Clark this is what I do!

-Have to say, I’m impressed.

-Our enemy has probably used an old device made from PROMETHEUS LABS it disturbs the electromagnetic patterns in a room, it’s called the “Time jammer”.

-Let me guess, this device locks the sensors of every time related machine! In this case the internal clock of the camera to a specific time but its activation makes them lag of a moment.

- The jammer can make you undetectable in close surveillance systems, I know from experience!

- I guess we have to do with professionals.

-Not finished! The weirdest part of this is that PROMETHEUS LABS closed 10 years ago, the jammer passed in the hands of Wayne Enterprises where the blueprints were……. stolen………by me! And any technology they had left has been bought by, you will never guess...

-N.O.R.A. LABS.

-Yes, so that means either that N.O.R.A. LABS is experimenting with old PROMETHEUS equipment which they don’t have in their possession or that someone from PROMETHEUS LABS came to take something that was his!

The League’s communicator rings! Cyborg’s voice sounds agitated, frightened! ”Cyborg to Justice League need help in the satellite we are under attack repeat we are under att……….the message stops! I yell at the communicator!

-Cyborg! We have to go immediately.

-Without Cyborg we can’t teleport to the satellite! We have to go the old fashioned way.

Batman calls the Flash “Flash come to the Bat-ca..”

“Did you guys get the message too” said the Flash.

He came in the Cave so fast that even I had a hard time noticing!

-Clark. Barry and me are gonna enter the space pod. You carry us to the satellite this is the fastest way possible!

“Let’s go don’t waste any moment”, I say hoping it’s not too late.

#1 Edited by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@Squalleon: Very fun. I really enjoyed it. I love the Flash's entrance, lol. You did a really good job making more involved, and leaving off at a point that makes me want to read part 3, which i do. Also, the interaction is much better and you are getting a better grasp on the Supes voice, still needs a little work, but that is waht part 3 is for.

Some constructive notes: start eluding to, and hinting at, the real enemy in part 3, if the story goes beyond that without the threat coming to light, you may lose some readers. And it's Wayne Manor, not Wayne Mansion (small, i know, but helps with accuracy).

#2 Edited by Squalleon (4874 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork said:

@Squalleon: Very fun. I really enjoyed it. I love the Flash's entrance, lol. You did a really good job making more involved, and leaving off at a point that makes me want to read part 3, which i do. Also, the interaction is much better and you are getting a better grasp on the Supes voice, still needs a little work, but that is waht part 3 is for.

Some constructive notes: start eluding to, and hinting at, the real enemy in part 3, if the story goes beyond that without the threat coming to light, you may lose some readers. And it's Wayne Manor, not Wayne Mansion (small, i know, but helps with accuracy).

Thank you for your kind words!

I am gonna reveal the a part of the past of the "enemy" in part 3!

I am creating an origin reflecting the mythos which the enemy is named off
#3 Posted by batkevin74 (11209 posts) - - Show Bio

@Squalleon: Very cool! I loved that both Superman and Flash are in the Batcave, Bruce is probably plotting tripwires and new walls just to hamper their enterance next time.

#4 Posted by thespideyguy (2650 posts) - - Show Bio

@Squalleon: This is good but all the exclamations make Superman sound like a twelve year old girl.

#5 Posted by Squalleon (4874 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Thank you!

Bruce is probably gonna cover the cave with Kryptonite and Jello :-P

@thespideyguy: Ohh that hurt but i can see your point

#6 Edited by Raw_Material (3300 posts) - - Show Bio

@Squalleon: Nice continuity from part 1, Squall. This mini story arc seems to be getting interesting. Can't wait for the third part to be released!

p.s. from writing experiences, use less apostrophes; it mite work out for the better. I mean for the parts that are supposed to be thrilling, yes use them as much as possible to express the intensity of the situation. Other than that, lay low on it until those scenes come about or when you want to elaborate on the circumstances.

#7 Posted by TheIncredibleSuperHulk8642 (2091 posts) - - Show Bio

Awesome again. I love Flash's entrance. Can't wait for part 3.

#8 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1722 posts) - - Show Bio

@squalleon: So odd choices with your punctuation or lack of punctuation, is English a second language? Storywise it's okay but your weird (well I find it weird) punctuation stands out.

#9 Posted by Squalleon (4874 posts) - - Show Bio

@squalleon: So odd choices with your punctuation or lack of punctuation, is English a second language? Storywise it's okay but your weird (well I find it weird) punctuation stands out.

Yes, english are a second language to me so it is difficult to be completely precise :-)