(Still rated MA, still owned by Marvel. This universe is a switcheroo where the guys are girls and the girls are guys, where good is bad and bad is good! Did you miss my first two issues? Well here's the links AND they're hiding in the spoiler boxes. Enjoy)
(Rated MA, all characters owned by Marvel, story is mine but Marvel can have it if they ask nice. This came from an concept by RazzaTazz, I just took it a tad further and inverted it a bit more. Sabertooth is good and a girl, Wolverine is bad and a girl. Good guys are now bad guys, guys are now girls. Total inversion!)
My name is Victoria Creed, and what I do ain’t pretty…lucky that I am. I’m a mutant, one of them scary people the government tries to warn you about. But don’t worry, I’m on your side…mostly.
My history is convulted, jumbled and parts of it actually made up, that I have trouble working out whats real or fake. In the end I just do what I’m good at which is fighting, drinking and taking a few hits. Which is how I ended up hanging around with Erika Lehnsherr, who is one of them good mutants the government DOESN’T tell you about, as opposed to Professor X and her gang of teenage mutants who make the news on a daily basis.
I’m here in Madripoor at the Princes Bar. It’s a dive, it’s a pit and it smells funny. Actually the smell is the woman coming up behind me, her footsteps heavy on the wooden floorboards.
“Long time no see Vicky”
My skin crawls as her voice crawls into my ears canals. That gruff, ‘world-owes-me’ tone added to her scent, makes me want to flip the table up and rip out her throat. I turn to see her standing there, in the worst disguise I ever saw.
“Are you a pirate now Logan?”
She chuckles and takes a drag on her cigar “This here proves," She points to the eye patch "That humans are stupid, ignorant filth. Been wearing this for weeks and nobody looks twice at me”
“That’s because you’re an ugly bitch wearing an eye patch!”
The open bar seems to sense trouble and people begin clearing out. For a bunch of low-life scum they’re not stupid. Lucky coz this is probably going to get messy.
Logan pops her adamantium claws out. I respond in kind, but mine don’t make any noise.
“Ready to dance Vicky?”
I stand up looking around the bar, she hasn’t clicked yet…good!
“Oh I’m ready, but you’re in for one hell of a shock”
The floor erupts and two carbonadium tendrils wrap up her arms and pull her like she’s on a Spanish Inquisition rack. She roars in pain as her non-metallic joints stretch.
“Tired of you showing up on my birthday trying to kill me” I state as I head over towards her “So I called an old friend of yours, who is now a friend of mine. Omega Red, I believe you’ve met the runt known as Wolverine”
“Da!” snarled Omega Red, her eyes as red as the old Soviet flag imprinted on her shoulder “I am to be killing you now”
“Y-you think you’re t-the only one with friends?” Wolverine chuckled as the roof exploded in a burst of red laser. A girl in blue and yellow wearing a red visor looked down from the giant hole she’d just created.
“Marvel Boy, clear the debris! Ice Girl, take the Russian. Everyone else, kill Sabretooth!”
Great! Just great!
Trust that sneaky runt to steal my idea! Now not only do I have to deal with Wolverine but her X-Bitches as well! Psychopathic teenagers trained by a psychic bent on a dream that more resembles a nightmare than anything sensible! Cyclops’ eye blast knocks me back across the bar, luckily its more concussive than an actual laser beam, not that it makes much difference; it still hurts like being hit by a small truck!
“My hypothesis is you’re outgunned and outclassed Ms Creed” quipped Beast as she landed on my chest with her giant feet and all 400 pounds of blue hairy muscle, my chest nearly cracks under her weight.
“You talk too much!” I rake my claws up her calves, splitting them open and she howls like the animal she is. I get about two seconds before Angel flies in to try and slam me into the wall. I leap onto her and using her own speed and my weight cause us BOTH to crash through the wall and out into the alley. Red’s going to have to fight her own fight.
I grab Angel by her blonde hair and smash her right in the mouth before I rip my claw across her wing “You’re now grounded!”
<Sniff sniff> Ionised partic…WHAM! Another optic blast clips me in the back, I’m going to blind that bitch one day! But she’s like most bad guys, they lack the killer instinct. It’s something I have trouble in check, but against these idiots I don’t bother. I dive roll and slice open Cyclops’ stomach. She yelps and tries to keep her insides inside. I go to finish her when, well nothing stops me.
“Get away from her!” screamed Marvel Boy popping a tk shield around her which stops me doing something terrible. I snarl and turn my attention to him.
“You’re a pretty boy!” I note as I charge at him "I can see why all the girls like you"
He panics and bats me away with his telekinesis, which is what I needed, space from these dangerous teenagers. I land on the top of the bar and quickly take stock. Angel: out! Beast: out! Cyclops: down but not out. Marvel Boy: panicked. Wolverine: don’t know.
I duck, her adamantium claws shaving an inch off my hair. If she wasn’t such a show pony, she could’ve gutted me. But she loves that sound!
“Getting slow in your old age”
“Look who’s talking!” she growls as she tags me across the shoulder. My healing factor will heal it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I give her a nasty scratch across the chin in return.
“If you idiots knew what you were doing, you could be dangerous!” I tell Wolverine as we tears strips off each other, like wild dogs fighting meat slicers.
“I said almost the same thing to Birdy a few hours ago” laughs Wolverine digging her claws into my gut.
I look deep into her eyes…she’s not lying. Every damn birthday this bitch pops up to make my day hell! Every time I think I’ve got one up on her, she flips it back on me! At least twenty years she’s been doing this to me!
“GRRRRARRRGGGGH!” I sink my teeth into her neck and tear off a sizeable chunk and spit it onto the ground “If you’ve hurt him…”
“I didn’t hurt him,” coughed Wolverine “I killed him!”
I growl a low primal scream and leap at her. My vision goes red and everything starts to blur as I’m just claws and teeth and screams. I snap back when I hear one of the most annoying sounds around.
“Get us outta here elf!” groans Wolverine as Nightcrawler teleports in to rescue her. She's hurt. She'll recover but she's hurt.
“Jawohl fraulien!” says the blue skinned mutant who grabs her hand and again BAMF! They’re gone! I hate that pointy eared blue rat! I throw back my head and howl. Every single damn birthday!
“Are you okay comrade?”
I look down the hole in the roof to see Omega Red standing over the body of a badly beaten Ice Girl.
“A lot better now you caught one of them” I reply as I just back into the bar.
“It is least I can do” she smiles “This up teaming is good da!”
“Team up.” I correct “But yeah” I look down at the unconscious frozen mutant girl and pick her up, throwing her over my shoulder “Let’s have a chat with Roberta.”
Omega Red leaves me, she was only really in this to get Logan and now that she’s scurried off with the X’s, Red isn’t really interested, especially with what I’m about to do to Ice Girl.
Roberta Louisa Drake, one of the original X-Men set, she could seriously do some damage if Professor X actually taught these brats anything about their powers; she could be one of these Omega mutants they keep raving about.
It starts with boiling water, to the face! Roberta screams into consciousness so I stuff a Red Savina habanero chilli in her mouth and duct tape it to keep it in. The heat of the chilli should keep her from concentrating otherwise I’d be a flash-frozen corpse! Roberta’s convulsing, turning red in the face, bucking against the steel chair and cuffs like a bronco…time to get the blow torch and some answers.
“I’m actually quite impressed” I smile and put the blowtorch down “I honestly thought you’d crack after I burnt your fingernails off, but you lasted a whole lot longer than I expected”
I tear to duct tape off her mouth, bloody saliva pours from her blistered mouth “W-west, Westchester”
“So that’s where Logan’s hiding”
“Y-y-yes” tears trickled out her eyes “P-please…n-no, no more”
I look down at the broken girl who once froze a soldier’s head on national television and then punched through it, laughing all the time. I could easily kill her but I’m not an animal, not any more. If the situation was reversed she wouldn’t show me any mercy; I must be getting soft. I hold up her face and wait until she can focus on my face.
“You could be so much more kid” and with that I knock her out cold. I call the local authorities, she won’t be much trouble for them now, tomorrow though is a different story. I head back into Madripoor for a final night on the town, watch some boys dance before heading towards almost certain death if what I think is waiting for me in Westchester.
I hold me arms out as the rent-a-cop waves a metal detector over me. Get’s me thinking on how that little runt travels around without alerting people she’s full of metal? I head to baggage to get my bag...<sniff, sniff> an all too familiar scent wafts my way. I scan the crowd to see a chaffeuer standing with all the others, a slight smile on his face. He’s holding a sign ‘Friend of Humanity’.
“You’re hilarious Mystiquo” I snarl as I hurl my bag at him. He catches it in the chest and we head out of the terminal.
“Well, I’m a funny guy” he says as we get to limo and he morphs back into his familiar blue skinned form. He’s a very attractive man, but he’s bad news, especially for me. We hit the road.
“Why are you here?”
“To warn you” replied Mystiquo as we drove off
“Of what? I’ve been up against it before”
“Not like this!” snapped Mystiquo “Seriously Victoria, Logan’s talked Professor X into calling them all back in”
“ALL OF THEM! X-Force, X-Factor, every bad ass mutant whose ever strapped on that damn X is going to be waiting for you!” I smile, Mystiquo catches it in the rear vision mirror “What are you smiling for?”
“You mean to tell me that nearly every single mutant bitch on the planet is going to be in the one place at the one time?” I pick up my phone and dial “This is too good…Yes, I’ll hold”
“And a hello to you too”
“How did you get this number?”
“HYDRA is not as secure as you think you green haired bastard. Now do you want to do you, your country and everyone on the planet a favour?”
“HYDRA isn’t your personal army Creed!”
“I’ll remember that when you call me in to do one of your special projects”
It goes silent for a while before finally responds “What do you have?”
“Professor X, Wolverine, X-Men, X-Factor and X-Force”
“Together in the one spot”
“YOU ARE #$@%^G KIDDING ME?!”
“Headed there now”
“If you’re jerking my chain Creed…?”
“Just track my phone. Now isn’t this so much better than hunting down S.H.I.E.L.D cells looking for Colonel Nicole Fury?”
“I will personally put a bullet between your eyes i…” I hang up before he rants out another empty threat.
Mystiquo stops the car “This is suicide you know?”
“Yeah, but luckily I heal. Now drive you blue freak!”
(pictures by an Andrew Kwan and the male Mystique is by kiss_lamia from here on CV...if someone wants to draw me a male version of Viper, the head of the crime fighting organisation HYDRA or a female Nick (Nicole) Fury, that's be great)