#1 Edited by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (5726 posts) - - Show Bio

(The film begins with the vintage Universal opening of the 1940s.)

(A hand is shows grabbing an encyclopedia. It flips to the definition of Lycanthropy, which according to the Encyclopedia is "Lycanthropy (Werewolfism): A disease of the mind in which human beings imagine they are Wolf Men. According to an old legend which persists in certain localities, the victims actually assume some of the physical characteristics of the animal. There is a small village near CONLIFFE CASTLE that still claims to have had gruesome experiences with this supernatural creature")

(The encyclopedia page fades into an under head shot of several villagers overlooking what appears to be corpse, the caption "Dencuster, England 1912" The villagers all look frightened and disgusted, though only a glimpse of the corpse is in view of the audience. A man in black and purple priest's robes pushes through the crowds. he has long hair and a medium sized beard, and appears to be in his mid 60s. This is Father John Talbot, played by Gary Oldman.)

Father John Talbot: Make way, make way!

(Father John stares at the corpse in front of him, with a look of silent despair. He closes his eyes as if in pain. He is followed by his adviser, a priest in training named Matthew. He is meek, bald, and has a shorter brownish-grey beard.)

Matthew: You knew this man in life?

Father John Talbot (nodding): Yes, hard working young man by the name of Jim, Jim McNair. He was a good friend of the Church, an example could most definitely be set from such a honorable man.

Matthew: I'm sorry Father John. It is monstrous to lose someone at such a young age.

(Father John turns around, walking away from the corpse with Matthew)

Father John Talbot: That's not the half of it. Jim had the best of his life ahead of him, was engaged to a rich, aristocratic Gwen Conliffe.

(Cut to a hysterical, red haired woman pounces on the corpse, crying and screaming in despair and agony. She is dressed in all black. Her parents are behind her, sharing in this woman's tragedy, also dressed in black. This is Gwen Conliffe, played by Bryce Dallas Howard.)

Matthew: You have a son of your own, don't you?

Father John Talbot (nodding, turning to Matthew): Yes, Lawrence, he's a lawyer now and a rather successful one from what I hear. Haven't spoken to him for 22 years.

Matthew: Wasn't young Lawrence a friend of Jim's in life?

Father John Talbot: Yes, Lawrence, Jim and Mercutio were as close as I've ever seen too young boys

Matthew: Perhaps it would be best if Lawrence returned to Dencuster...One last time.

(Father John Talbot turns to Matthew nervously. The screen then goes black as the words "The Wolf-Man" appear on the screen, to a background of forest trees. The credits are shown under these tree branches, and a howl is heard to close out the credits. Cut to a ship where Lawrence Talbot, played by Elijah Wood, is standing, writing in a journal. He has little facial hair, an overcoat and a homburg hat. He looks in to the great beyond of the shores of England, with a look of detachment and fear. He appears to have been crying from the redness of his eyes)

Lawrence Talbot (narrating his Journal entry): February 2nd, 1912. I gaze upon the shores of my childhood like I'm entering the mouth of a hellish beast. There will lie my own Dante's Inferno of pain. There was nothing but death and tragedy here as a child, and no doubt my only reason for returning is to embrace the tragic fate of a dead friend. Why I was so devastated upon my father's dismissal of me...I'll never know.

(Lawrence once again stares at the shores of England. As two tears drop from his eyes, his gloved hands cover his face in shame of showing this weakness. He takes a deep breath, and walks of the boat)

(The camera moves upward to the greyish cloud filled sky, showing a descending sun, and then cuts into a classic taxicab taking Lawrence to Father John's Rectory)

Taxicab Driver: Father John's Rectory, Mr Larry.

(Lawrence Talbot, looks out the window, taking a deep breath as he re-enters a world he thought he had abandoned)

(Cut to Lawrence cautiously enters the Rectory, as if there was something here he was afraid to see again. The whole building is cloaked in darkness, as if it was hiding something terrible. The statues of gargoyles covering the walls give the Rectory a look of a cave where demons and monsters lay sleeping. He climbs the spiral staircase to the top, where he sees his father, praying at an altar. Father John Talbot turns around, and smiles incredibly uneasily at Lawrence)

Father John Talbot: Lo and behold, the prodigal son returns.

Lawrence Talbot: Hello father...It...It's been a while.

(Father John goes in to hug Lawrence, but instead recieves a mere handshake from his son. He smiles uneasily again, as he shakes his hand, tears in his eyes)

Lawrence Talbot (On the verge of tears): So...What happened...To Jim, I mean?

Father John Talbot (sighing): Your friend was found in a log cabin, deep in the woods. The wounds...It was like he'd been eaten alive. Half his face was gone when we got to him.

(Lawrence gasps in horror, covering his mouth as if not to scream,, barely bringing himself to say the next sentence.)

Lawrence Talbot: So...So, animal attack?

Father John Talbot: One would think so, but it doesn't appear that there's an animal roaming England today capable of such savagery. Such violence seems to be something only a man could commit.

(Lawrence, taking of his homburg and staring at the ground blankly. he looks back up at Sir John.)

Lawrence Talbot...Where are they keeping Jim's body?

To be continued...

#2 Posted by The Poet (8288 posts) - - Show Bio
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#3 Posted by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (5726 posts) - - Show Bio
#4 Posted by BumpyBoo (7613 posts) - - Show Bio

Very vivid, nice atmosphere - I can tell you have put a lot of thought into it :) Very much looking forward to the next part, this is good stuff!

#5 Posted by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (5726 posts) - - Show Bio

@bumpyboo said:

Very vivid, nice atmosphere - I can tell you have put a lot of thought into it :) Very much looking forward to the next part, this is good stuff!

Thanks Bumpy! :)

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (10362 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: I liked it! My only suggestion would be maybe using some pictures of the actors or maybe even like old mocies, have the cast list come up first.

Gary Oldman as Father John

#7 Edited by batkevin74 (10362 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: I liked it! My only suggestion would be maybe using some pictures of the actors or maybe even like old movies, have the cast list come up first.

Gary Oldman as Father John

#8 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (17498 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice work. Great start :)

#9 Edited by dngn4774 (2674 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: Pretty good opening! Personally, I prefer the story format over the script style but it's certainly not a dealbreaker. I'll check out the other chapters tomorrow.

#10 Posted by Jonny_Anonymous (32078 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: I know you cast Gary Oldman in the role but every time I read the lines I can't help but think of Anthony Hopkins LOL good start though, gonna head to the second part now

#11 Edited by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (5726 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: I know you cast Gary Oldman in the role but every time I read the lines I can't help but think of Anthony Hopkins LOL good start though, gonna head to the second part now

Thanks. Yeah, I was a huge fan of the Hopkins Wolfman. I was trying to make this one a little more sympathetic though. :)

#12 Edited by Chaos Prime (10842 posts) - - Show Bio

Very good start, Looking forward to finding out about Mr Talbots past.

On to chapter TWO :)

#13 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: Okay, I like the premise of this. It's a bit confusing as to when it's beginning. There's a bit of repetitiveness but that kind of nitpicking. The characters talk all right but there are a few movements, such as Lawrence covering his mouth that kind of irk me.

The overall drawback to this is that you're using this very vague format and gives a lot, and sometimes too much, room for the reader to view the scene in their head. Just something to bear in mind later.

#14 Posted by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (5726 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: Okay, I like the premise of this. It's a bit confusing as to when it's beginning. There's a bit of repetitiveness but that kind of nitpicking. The characters talk all right but there are a few movements, such as Lawrence covering his mouth that kind of irk me.

The overall drawback to this is that you're using this very vague format and gives a lot, and sometimes too much, room for the reader to view the scene in their head. Just something to bear in mind later.

It takes place in 1912, Duncester (A fictional village) England.

#15 Posted by cbishop (6940 posts) - - Show Bio

As I said in Batkevin74's review, I'm not a huge fan of the script style. I should learn it, just for the sake of saying I know it, because comics do use it, but I keep putting it off, because I dread it. I think it's because the notations on camera movements, actor places, and even the audience take me out of the story, and being taken out of the story is something I personally frown upon. There's a time and place for it, but scripts irk me in general that way.

That aside, this is okay. My initial impression is that it would be a passable movie. I'm currently procrastinating on my entry for CCC #14, so I need to get back to that. But if I have some time between calls at work this week, I'll try to get through the other chapters.

I do agree with bk74 tho' - you need to add some pictures of the actors, and whatever else there might be pictures available of (stock werewolf pics, concept drawings, anything like that). In my earlier blogs on CV, readers complained a few times about the "giant wall of words." The Internet (and its audience) is sort of ADHD by design, so pictures help break things up, and even give readers a sort of marker for where they are at in the story. When I started adding pictures (and edited some into the existing blogs) readers seemed to like it a little more. <shrugs> Just a thought.

#16 Posted by Lvenger (17855 posts) - - Show Bio

@spideyivydaredevilfan26: Not too bad though pictures of the actors in your film would be helpful. Not to mention a cast list. Solid writing though the format is confusing to read at times and the plot's premise can confuse readers.