#1 Edited by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio

The Texas heat was kicking in full time this afternoon.

The Old Man sat down about to replace the tires on his truck. He wiped the sweat from his wrinkly brow.

"God dammit where the blasted hell is my wrench?" he barked to himself as he looked around frantically.

"I am too fu!kin old for this, a man of my years should be resting not looking around for a damn wrench!"

He turned and began to head for the Sawyer house. Just as he started to head up the path he could hear a car roaring up in the distance. The Old Man’s expression dropped to one of panic.

"They've found us! Well they aint taking my recipe alive" He turned to the car and drew his revolver.

BLAM!

He fired off a shot. He could see it was the Hitchhiker driving his last victim’s car.

The Old Man shook his head and fired a few other shots at the car. Hitting the bonnet and windscreen.

The car screeched to a halt. The Hitchhiker swung the car door open and quickly stepped out moving his arms up to block his face.

"What the hell are ya doin? Y'all could'a shot me!" he shouted in anguish and anger.

The Old Man gritted his teeth as he tilted his head and stared deeply at the Hitchhiker. The Hitchhiker glanced at him but couldn't look at him for long due to fear.

"W what? Do I have something on my face?" Hitchhiker asked as he rubbed his face only to find a smear of blood on it.

He put his hand into his mouth. "Uh it tastes like ketchup to me" he replied as he shifted his shoulders nervously.

"Open the bonnet" The Old Man demanded calmly.

The Hitchhiker etched to it slowly.

" NOW NUBBINS!" The Old Man commanded this time shouting as he pointed the revolver at him.

Terrified Nubbins quickly responded and opened the car bonnet up.

"Put your hands out" The Old Man ordered as he aimed the revolver at his head.

Nubbins raised his hands which were shaking profusely.

"NOW!"

Nubbins so scared quickly did so.

"Good, okay so Id like you to answer me a few questions, and I want you to answer me truthfully. Understand me boy?"

Nubbins nodded.

"Okay where did ya get this car from?"

"I uh....I found it" Nubbins replied.

SLAM!

The Old Man slammed the bonnet down on his hands.

"ARGHHHHH!" He shrieked in pain as he looked at the bloody indents left in his hands.

"Hmm this bonnet is just right not too sharp, not too blunt, yeah its a nice bonnet. Now where did ya get it?"

Tears poured down Nubbins face.

"I uh found a couple and hitched a ride and uh yeah I had some fun and uh yeah....uh" he sobbed.

"Okay good see? That wasn't too hard now was it?

Nubbins looked up at The Old Man.

SLAM!

"You fool! I work day and night to keep this place together to put food on the table and warmth in the home and you can't even keep to yourself!"

The Old Man paced up and down

"They are out there ya know! The damn feds there looking for ya I can't go to prison! Who would win the barbecue competition each year huh?"

Nubbins got up he was shaking all over as he wandered in the direction of the house.

"Go on! Get. If this happens again it won’t just be one finger that goes but your whole hand!" he barked.

He peered down and spotted the wrench.

"Ah there you are time to get on with fixing those tires" he grinned to himself as he walked back to the truck.

Disclaimer All characters belong to their rightful owners etc.Picture by artiom1q2w.Of course more will be on the way and as usual thanks for reading comments always appreciated.

#2 Edited by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio
#3 Posted by BumpyBoo (11921 posts) - - Show Bio

@mrdecepticonleader: Woohoo! Will add it to the library now and give it a read in a little bit (running off for a very late dinner in a sec). Great to see you back at it though mate ^____^

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#4 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio

@bumpyboo said:

@mrdecepticonleader: Woohoo! Will add it to the library now and give it a read in a little bit (running off for a very late dinner in a sec). Great to see you back at it though mate ^____^

Okay :) thanks!

#5 Posted by BumpyBoo (11921 posts) - - Show Bio

@mrdecepticonleader: First off sorry for the lateness coming back to this. Late dinner turned into early bedtime ;)

I have to say, I LOVE the way you write dialogue. I thought that again reading the Old Man's parts (LOL old man's parts XD), you bring your characters to life very effectively, I can hear them in my head as I read. Also, you have managed to pack so many short, sharp punches into the story so far :) You get to the point, and I like that. Awesomely entertaining stuff.

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#6 Edited by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio

@bumpyboo said:

@mrdecepticonleader: First off sorry for the lateness coming back to this. Late dinner turned into early bedtime ;)

I have to say, I LOVE the way you write dialogue. I thought that again reading the Old Man's parts (LOL old man's parts XD), you bring your characters to life very effectively, I can hear them in my head as I read. Also, you have managed to pack so many short, sharp punches into the story so far :) You get to the point, and I like that. Awesomely entertaining stuff.

Thanks so much. I really appreciate that. I do try my best to write the dialogue as if someone is actually speaking I think of how the character would speak before I write it down. Ha ha old man parts that made be burst out laughing ha ha :)

#7 Posted by lykopis (10868 posts) - - Show Bio

Another fantastic installment and I have to agree with Bumpy -- your dialogue is great -- very, very slick.

You got across Old Man's anger and frustration really well along with Nubbins fear of him. I would say I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

#8 Edited by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis said:

Another fantastic installment and I have to agree with Bumpy -- your dialogue is great -- very, very slick.

You got across Old Man's anger and frustration really well along with Nubbins fear of him. I would say I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Thanks.

I did want to draw that kind of parallel between how Nubbins was previously and what he is like here.

#9 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio

BUMP

#10 Edited by wildvine (10594 posts) - - Show Bio
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#11 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio
#12 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19254 posts) - - Show Bio

Jeez it was a month since I last wrote one of these? wow must try to crank another part out.