#1 Edited by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio
"My name is Ashley Williams. And i am a slave...to my destiny. I used to have a normal, boring job. And a normal, boring life. Just like you. Used to work at S-mart. Housewares department. It was going to be the next Wal-mart. Never really took off though." He sipped the tepid drink in front of him and swallowed with a grimmest. "Gotta hand it to ya, you really know how to break a man."
"Sorry it's not up to your refined tastes Mr Williams." Detective Rachel Katz replied sarcastically. "But getting back to your story if you don't mind..."
"Sure doll. Maybe after this we get some real coffee? Or maybe we don't?" He grinned in a way that would be charming under other circumstances. Just oozing with confidence and male egotism.
"This is a very serious matter Mr Williams." She replied unruffled. She was used to being hit on, and had more then ample experience with idiot men.
"I get it, playing hard to get." He winked. "Anyway, I worked at S-mart, where I was loved and respected by customers and fellow employees alike--"
"This was before you shot an old woman to death?" She looked up from the file to catch his reaction.
"That was self-defense. She was possessed by a Deadite." He met her gaze unwavering.

'My God. He actually believes that.'
"Yes let's talk about these Deadites Mr Williams.
"I'm getting to that. So one day I take my girlfriend Linda out to this little cabin in the woods I heard about. I found an dusty book in the cellar with an old tape recorder. Thought there might be some tunes on the tape. The Book was written in some foreign mumbo jumbo, but i wasn't planning on doing any reading anyway. The tape was the recorded translations of the Book, The Necronomicon. The words from the Book awoke something evil in the woods, and that is when the supernatural sh!t hit the cosmic fan."
He leaned back in his chair and stretched. "Seriously, is this the best you can do as far as coffee?"
Detective Katz blinks. Then realizes she is leaning forward, unconsciously drawn in by his story. She steps to the wall and presses the intercom button. "Bring in a cup of coffee. From the break room, not the lobby." She turned back to him, her arms crossed. "And then?"
"Linda became possessed. Became a Deadite. then she tried to kill me. I wish i could have saved her" He looked away for a moment, all the smart a$$ attitude gone. "Once a person becomes a Deadite you have few options other then to kill and dismember. Then the evil tried to take me, it got in my hand and it went bad. So i cut it off before it could spread. I burned the Book and thought everything was over. But it was just beginning. The daughter of the professor who translated the Book, arrived with the missing pages and stirred everything up again. She used an incarnation from the Book that was meant to trap the Evil. Unfortunately me and my car were pulled in as well and spit me out in the middle ages. After showing those primitive screw-heads that i was an evolved, superior being, I was asked to go on a quest to retrieve the Necronomicon from a haunted graveyard. And maybe there were some magic words I was supposed to say, and maybe I didn't say every single little syllable, but I basically said the words--"
"Mr Williams, would you mind skipping to the events that lead to your arrest?"
"I'm getting to it doll, anyways, once i returned to this time i tried to resume my old life. That's when the thing with the old lady happened. No matter how far i go, or how hard i try, the Book always finds me and ruins things. That's when i realized that the Book would never leave me alone. So i stopped trying to run and began hunting..."
One day ago...
Ash rolled into town in his beat up Delta 88. He's achy from sleeping in the car and still a little queasy from a hamburger he'd eaten the day before. It had tasted fine, but his stomach had rejected the meal with extreme prejudice. In other words he was in a foul mood. Ahead of him he sees two teenagers standing on the srteet corner wasting space. The tall one wears a 'Pumpkin Dead' T-shirt and the ragged, trash heap jeans that are so popular. His friend is wearing a t-shirt with a cartoon zombie and cut off shorts.
Ask rolled down his window. "Excuse me, I'm looking for--"
"The old age home?" The tall one asks and high-fived his friend.
"Now that is funny. Ha Ha. Now listen, i'm late to the--"
"Mortuary?" The tall one interrupts. Another high-five
"Ya know, if i wasn't so busy i'd teach you punks a lesson."
"A history lesson?" The short one asks. They high-five again and disappear around the corner.
"Damn punks need to learn some respect." Ash grumbled, sounding old to his own ears. He checked himself in the mirror and sees circles under his eyes, Two days beard growth, and the first touches of grey in his hair. "It's not the years, it's the miles" He tells himself. "Now it shouldn't be too hard to find a university in this town, i'll just look for the biggest barn."
He resumes driving and does not notice his reflection starring at him with a sneer.
#2 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: "My name is Ash Williams" I wonder if you emailed Bruce Campbell, would he do a voice-over for this (try him at http://www.bruce-campbell.com/ you never know)

Good work!!

#3 Posted by joshmightbe (24101 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: It was already in Bruce's voice in my head anyway. @wildvine: great job

#4 Posted by Necrotic_Lycanthrope (2388 posts) - - Show Bio

I love the little refs to Army of Darkness (a certain "Gimme some sugah baby" comes to mind lol)

Because of this I'm so tempted to write my own AOD Horror mini thing....just as soon as I get to that darned Frankenstein. DX

#5 Posted by feebadger (1337 posts) - - Show Bio

@Necrotic_Lycanthrope said:

I love the little refs to Army of Darkness (a certain "Gimme some sugah baby" comes to mind lol)

Because of this I'm so tempted to write my own AOD Horror mini thing....just as soon as I get to that darned Frankenstein. DX

No, no! Get to that darned Frankenstein first ! We can't have a Horror Inc without a Frankenstein!! ;P

Oh, if they only knew the fun yet to come! X)

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (9751 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Very nice

Nice pic!

#7 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

GREAT as you said it would be :P

#8 Edited by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

@Necrotic_Lycanthrope said:

I love the little refs to Army of Darkness (a certain "Gimme some sugah baby" comes to mind lol)

Because of this I'm so tempted to write my own AOD Horror mini thing....just as soon as I get to that darned Frankenstein. DX

Thanks for the comments. Maybe we can collaborate on a future Army of Darkness story. Btw, can't wait to read Frankenstein.

#9 Posted by ZZoMBiE13 (643 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Thanks. :)

#10 Posted by Necrotic_Lycanthrope (2388 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine:

I'll try my bestest to make it a riveting story (it won't be long though, just to warn you ahead of time.)

A Army of Darkness collab? Hmmm.....I definitely am interested (as long as I can write Evil Ash. I freaking love that zombie :P)

#11 Posted by UnderDogs_OverBoard (1137 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Loved this miss WV! keep it up!

#12 Posted by darth_brendroid (1717 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice ^_^ liked the idea of starting it off with Ash speaking to the cops and just running through any basic info to ground the story before going on. Some grammar things (ash Williams as opposed to Ash Williams) but other than that an interesting start!

#13 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

Eagerly awaiting part 2

#14 Edited by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

@darth_brendroid said:

Nice ^_^ liked the idea of starting it off with Ash speaking to the cops and just running through any basic info to ground the story before going on. Some grammar things (ash Williams as opposed to Ash Williams) but other than that an interesting start!

Thanks, i wanted to due a brief history for people not familiar with the story. Always knew i wanted to start with him under arrest. @4donkeyjohnson said:

Eagerly awaiting part 2

Real soon. I promise.

#15 Posted by The Poet (8199 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: very cool

Moderator
#16 Posted by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

Edit: Added the original chapter ending.

#17 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine said:

Edit: Added the original chapter ending.

Really nice,can't wait to see the next ones.

I really want to write as well as you do someday

#18 Posted by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump?

#19 Posted by Necrotic_Lycanthrope (2388 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine:

No! Not the dreaded bump! D:

(P.S. say the word and I can start writing Evil Ash :P)

#20 Posted by feebadger (1337 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump in anticipation of Part Two (coming soon ?)

#21 Posted by Jonny_Anonymous (27410 posts) - - Show Bio

haha the two teenagers where great

#22 Posted by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jonny_Anonymous said:

haha the two teenagers where great

Thank you. What is a horror story without annoying teenagers?

#23 Posted by Project_Worm (2874 posts) - - Show Bio

Great job wild. Got alot of really nice dialogue going on.

#24 Posted by Joygirl (15370 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty great! I loved all the call-outs and little references and line-drops to the other movies (some of the most quotable movies ever). Pretty solid, but I just have one question....

...Are all men of the future such loud-mouthed braggarts?

#25 Posted by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

@Joygirl said:

Pretty great! I loved all the call-outs and little references and line-drops to the other movies (some of the most quotable movies ever). Pretty solid, but I just have one question....

...Are all men of the future such loud-mouthed braggarts?

Lol. Yes. Thanks for the comments. Everyone seems to like the references, but it was hard to figure how much to add. Not enough for new readers vs too much for old fans.

#26 Posted by Project_Worm (2874 posts) - - Show Bio

bump...

#27 Posted by BumpyBoo (7215 posts) - - Show Bio

BUMP!

#28 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (16875 posts) - - Show Bio

Nicely written

Online
#29 Posted by SpideyIvyDaredevilFan26 (4822 posts) - - Show Bio

Not bad, love the quote references to the original Army of Darkness.

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