Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

It's a regular night at the Pool-o-Vision bar. Business is a tad slow for a Friday night, but that's not uncommon when Man-Thing is working the bar. Finding bits of moss in your drink tended to put people off from drinking. Most people anyway.

"I just, I just don't see what Jocasta sees in that Ultron guy." Machine Man slurred, knocking back another drink. His fifth, or twelfth, Man-Thing is not counting. He also offered no reply as he repeatedly wiped the same spot over, and over, his bulging eyes star at nothing. The ultimate sympathetic ear.

"Hey Manny." Jennifer Kale says as she slipped around his hulking form, and tied an apron around her waist.

"Hey, Manny, weren't you on Sesame St? You do look sorta like a muppet." Machine Man asked, trying to remember how not to fall off a bar stool.

"Ooookay...Mr Stack I think you have had enough. Do you need a ride?" Jennifer asked.

"Why? Are you hitting on me?" Machine Man replied.

"I'm calling you a ride. Oh, and Manny? In the future get Ghost Riders keys upfront."

Man-Thing gave no indication whether he understood, or not.

"Aye, Barmaid, another round for me and my friend, Asgards paying." Thor called out.

"Nay" Hercules replied. "An Olympian always pays for his own drinks. Except my father." They share a laugh, and bang there mugs together.

"One moment gentlemen. Howard, are you here?" She called out.

"Hang on a sec." Howard muttered, sinking the eight ball for another win.

"How do you win so much? You can barely see over the table." Ben Grimm grumbled.

"It's my super power." Howard replied sarcastically.

"I've got next game." Satanna Hellstrom slapped some money on the table.

"Sorry sweet knees, my real job is calling." He lighted a fresh cigar. He had hustled enough pool for the night, and it was time for an exit.

"Howard!!" Jennifer yelled again, annoyance creeping into her voice.

"I'm here Toots. Don't get your bikini in a bunch."

"Don't call me Toots" She growled. "Machine Man needs a ride home. And take Ghost Rider too. He's in the parking lot, sitting on his bike making motor sounds."

As Jason Todd stepped into the bar, he is assaulted by the smells of smoke, booze and wet dirt. He is also treated to the sight of an anthropomorphic duck half dragging a robot away from the bar. "Jeeze you're heavy." the duck groaned. "Can't you go-go gadget skates, or something? Then i could push you out the door."

The place does not fall silent at his arrival. That only happens in the movies. Still, he can feel eyes watching him as he approaches the bar.

"Hey, who do I need to kill to get a drink around here?" He asked, rapping his knuckles on the bar. He casts a sideways glance at the hulking monstrosity wiping out shot glasses, then shrugged to himself. He had seen weirder things.

"You lost stranger?" Jennifer asked as she slipped behind the bar with a tray of beer mugs.

"Harley Quinn is bartending at my usual spot, and I don't feel like getting whiskey shot at me from a seltzer bottle." He replied.

"Yeah, I can see where that would be annoying." She sighed, already tired. "So what you drinking?"

Bang !!

The front door explodes inward with a crash before he can answer, and the Hulk stomped in, "HULK DEMANDS DRINK!! HULK IS THIRSTIEST ONE THERE IS!!"

"This is the last time I trade shifts with Mary Jane" Jennifer Kale groaned.

#1 Posted by Joygirl (18854 posts) - - Show Bio

I. Love. This. So. Much. Like omg.

#2 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: AWESOMENESS!

#3 Posted by The Poet (8303 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: EXTREMELY COOL!!!

side note: if you were trying to pm me I don't think it worked, but I'm glad I stumbled upon this...

Moderator
#4 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Poet said:

@wildvine: EXTREMELY COOL!!!

side note: if you were trying to pm me I don't think it worked, but I'm glad I stumbled upon this...

Thank you. If i get a few more comments i'll write the DC sequel.

#5 Posted by The Poet (8303 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: that would be amusing...

Moderator
#6 Edited by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Poet said:

@wildvine: that would be amusing...

The Harley Quinn joke originally lead to a Family Guy style cut away joke where you actually saw Harley bartending in Gotham, but the joke just kept growing and it was at the end of the story so it got cut.

#7 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19968 posts) - - Show Bio

WHOOO!!!!!!!!

#8 Posted by CapFanboy (4520 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Gah! but good! With actual writing! And no booty jokes!

#9 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

@CapFanboy said:

@wildvine: Gah! but good! With actual writing! And no booty jokes!

You honor me. ^___^

#10 Posted by BumpyBoo (7676 posts) - - Show Bio

This is brilliant. I demand the sequel! ^_^ So funny!

#11 Posted by feebadger (1442 posts) - - Show Bio

"And take Ghost Rider too. He's sitting on his bike making motor sounds". GENIUS! I am going to carry that image around with me all week and i couldn't be happier.

If there is a God and he loves comics, there will be MORE of this funny, funny goodness! Can't tell you how much i LOVED this, wildvine!

#12 Posted by Delphic (1463 posts) - - Show Bio

LOL, I liked this. I hope you continue it.

#13 Posted by Fuchsia_Nightingale (10180 posts) - - Show Bio

....Awesome....high fives of epic achievement

#14 Posted by batkevin74 (10434 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: Very funny, very good. :)

#15 Posted by jobiwankenobi (1459 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, this was rather humorous.

#16 Posted by VyseCarma (258 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol, interesting concept. I'd guess they would need their own bars.

You think Batman'll drink so much he'll see Bat-mite?

#17 Posted by deadpoolrules (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice one,wv.When I saw the title I instantly thought about Deadpool :P

#18 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1634 posts) - - Show Bio

Very good, I shudder at the idea of a pi$$ed Hulk :)

#19 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumping...

#20 Posted by batkevin74 (10434 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: You should do more of this

#21 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@wildvine: You should do more of this

I have a DC sequel in the works.

#22 Posted by batkevin74 (10434 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: I'd actually like to see another Marvel shift actually, maybe a birthday party for example.

#23 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumps

#24 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

Hey, Check out one of my first stories.

#25 Posted by Referee (6696 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: This is the wildvine creativity I've been looking for. Two thumbs up.

The two lines that had me laughing milk out my nose were

  • And take Ghost Rider too. He's in the parking lot, sitting on his bike making motor sounds
  • Can't you go-go gadget skates, or something?

And where in the world did you get the idea for Man thing as a bartender. You really have a gift for thinking out side the box. A quality I love.

Questions, what does a thirsty Hulk drink?

My only suggestion would be. I want to see one of the customers get fresh with Jennifer, and/or have a bouncer. Just a thought.

#26 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

@Referee said:

And where in the world did you get the idea for Man thing as a bartender. You really have a gift for thinking out side the box. A quality I love.

Questions, what does a thirsty Hulk drink?

My only suggestion would be. I want to see one of the customers get fresh with Jennifer, and/or have a bouncer. Just a thought.

1) Actually, I don't know. The idea of Man-Thing wearing a red bow tie, and wiping a bar just came to me one day. The rest of the story followed.

2) Whatever he wants. : P

3) As always, your comments spur me on to new heights. Thanks for reading.

#27 Posted by lykopis (10756 posts) - - Show Bio

And yet ANOTHER one I missed!

That imagination of yours -- you must sit there in some kind of other-worldly state and somehow be aware your fingers are tapping on the keyboard as they story plays out in your mind. Hilarious, nicely paced and well executed. So much fun -- in some way I am kinda happy I did miss this because it was like finding $20 in your pocket you totally forgot about. :)

#28 Posted by wildvine (8437 posts) - - Show Bio

@lykopis said:

That imagination of yours -- you must sit there in some kind of other-worldly state and somehow be aware your fingers are tapping on the keyboard as they story plays out in your mind.

You know too much....

#29 Edited by batkevin74 (10434 posts) - - Show Bio