“Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Prime-Time! Here's your host, the man who's even more prime than Optimus Prime; Superboy Prime!!!!!!!”
The crowed cheers as Superboy Prime walks onto set and sits at his desk.
“Hi... Today we're going to answer the question that's on everyone's mind, who's the father of Duela Dent.”, Prime says. “Sure hope it's not me.”
*Buh-dum-chh*
“Before that, let's welcome our first guest... the Anti-Monitor? Shit, this isn't going to be well.”
The crowed claps as the Anti-Monitor walk onto the set and takes a seat.
“Hi, Monitor. We're over that little dispute about me punching a hole into you, right?”, Prime asks.
“You know what, Superboy? After you turned on me, the only thing that went through my head was revenge. After months of thinking about it, I realized that maybe I deserved it. I destroyed your entire universe after all. I've been managing my anger and going to Anti-matteraholics Anonymous meetings and I'm glad to say that I've been clean for five months now. I haven't destroyed any universes, I have a good job, and I even met someone special.”, the Anti-Monitor said drinking his cup of coffee.
“Really?”, Superboy Prime asks. “That's a shame. Hey, isn't that a Green Lantern behind you?”
“Where?”, The Anti-Monitor said as he turned around.
With Anti-Monitor's guard off, Prime flew at him from behind and went right through him.
He then threw the remains into the outer-space and went back to his seat.
“I was bored of him.”, Prime said. “Crap, he have another guest. You people might know him from The Brain fan-fic. Please welcome Sharpshot.”
As Sharpshot walks onto the set, Superboy Prime fries his face off with his heatvision.
“Now then, let's get on with the real story. Please welcome Duela Dent.”
Duela Dent comes on stage riding a little bicycle around, then sits on her seat.
“Hiyah!”, She yells. “Are you going to find who my daddy is?”
“Sure. Let's welcome the three possible fathers. First, Harvey Dent aka Two Face”
Harvey walks onto the stage and takes a seat next to Duela.
“Let's also welcome the Joker and... Batman?”, Prime says.
Batman walks onto the stage alone and takes a seat next tot he empty one beside Harvey.
“Apparently Joker couldn't make it today, he has a cold.”, Prime said. “Okay, so we're still waiting on the paternity test results. Is there anything you guys would like to say?”
“I don't even know why I'm here.”, Batman said.
Harvey gets off his chair and yells,“There's no way that psycho's mine!”, then sits back down and calmly says, “This is ridiculous.”
“Oh, why is everyone so mean to little ol' me. It wasn't fun growin' up without my daddy-o to take me to the zoo.”, Duela said.
Superboy Prime let out an exhausted sigh as he was handed the paternity test results.
“Let's get this over with.”, he said. “In the case of Duela Dent, Batman... you are NOT the father.”
“I could have told you that.”, Batman said as he vanished into the shadows.
“Harvey Dent.. you are -”
The power went out, interrupting Prime before he could finish his sentence.
“Where the hell are the lights?!”, Prime yelled.
Suddenly, Joker appeared with the only light shining on him.
“It's good to be in the spotlight!”, Joker yelled. “Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'll be your host for today!”
Duela Dent began clapping rapidly. Joker grabbed an envolope from his pocket and put on a pair of reading glasses.
“Ahem! In the case of Duela Dent, Joker, you are-”
Before Joker could finish, Superboy Prime disintegrated the letter with his heat vision.
“That's my job!” He yelled.
“Oh, don't be such a super-pooper.” Joker said.
Frustrated, Superboy Prime got off his seat and charged at Joker, but was tripped by Duela who put her foot int he way.
“Nice to be here, but the Joker's got to go-go!” Joker said.
The lights went back on, but Joker and Duela were already gone by the time Superboy Prime got back on his feet.
“I'll kill them!” He yelled!
“Uh...”, Harvey interrupted. “Do you mind reading my results?”
Superboy Prime got back to his seat and viciously grabbed the envelope, which was mysteriously closed. When he opened it, a clown head sprung out, then exploded in his face. His eyes began to glow red and he burst through the ceiling.
Gah! Studios Presents: The Superboy Prime Talk Show! #2
@dngn4774: This story is actually just a joke. It's like the Hulk Works at Wal-Mart thing I did. I actually write it up in a few minutes and don't even bother editing. I work harder on more serious stories. This is just for fun. It's supposed to fit the Gah! standard of absurdity.
@jesusdisciple001: Yeah, Sharpshot was requested by @tommythehitman
... you ba$tard. I'm going to have to make it a joke now that whenever Sharpshot appears in a story he gets shot in the head.
@tommythehitman: Had to.
@awesam: I had an idea for another episode. It would feature Hugo Strange and the Red Lanterns as guest stars. What would happen is that Dr Strange would utilize his skills in psychology to attempt to cure the Red Lanterns anger issues (anger management gone wrong). I'm pretty sure you can get creative with the results of the session.
@dngn4774: This story is actually just a joke. It's like the Hulk Works at Wal-Mart thing I did. I actually write it up in a few minutes and don't even bother editing. I work harder on more serious stories. This is just for fun. It's supposed to fit the Gah! standard of absurdity.
And it does. Key with Gah! is, the less effort you spend, the better it becomes.
@awesam: You should be so tough on yourself. Writing is tough because it requires a lot of thought. You'll find that the pieces you work the hardest on turn out to be the ones you like best even if it doesn't get a lot of comments.
Gah!s are easier and less demanding. It's basically just jokes with no plot. Like Arrested Development used to be but nowhere near as good.
@capfanboy: Really just improvization + no proofreading. Write it up with no real thought into it, then hope for the best.
@dngn4774: I might just do that.
@capfanboy: Really just improvization + no proofreading. Write it up with no real thought into it, then hope for the best.
And out comes Gah!
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