Gah! #31-50

In an effort to not spam the boards, from now on they shall be twenty "Gah!"s in one thread. Ladies and Gentleman say hi to Gah! #31's guest CABLE!!

Gah! #31

So...Cable, aren't you dead?

Not even I know. If you read X-Sanction you should.

I didn't.

Why not?

Cause it sucked.

Grr.

So...Hope?

Oh come on. You said you were done with this.

Done with what?

You know. That thing that @AweSam said was starting to get old.

Booty? That never gets old. But I wasn't talking about that! I was talking about Hope being

The Phoenix?

No, rescued by the worst idea in Marvel's history.

What's that.

Power Rangers: Phoenix Force.

It's not that bad.

It's worse than if they resurrected the Dark Phoenix saga again.

Shut up. At least we didn't kill Wally West.

I wonder what happened to Wally...

Finally, only one mention of booty lol.

@AweSam said:

Finally, only one mention of booty lol.

I'll try not to mention it again xD Next is Wally West!

WAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY WEST!!!!!

Gah! #32

Ladies and Gentleman! Wally West!

*cricket chirp*

So Wally, how do you feel being excluded from the new 52?

*cricket chirp*

Oh right. You don't exist, do you?

*cricket chirp*

So erm...We're done here?

I'm Barry Allen. The only Flash.

What about Wally.

DC are ordering you to stop. These are becoming terrible and you're running out of ideas.

No I'm not!

Dude, you're embarrassing yourself.

*cricket chirp*

Lol poor Wally. He's popular, you know.

@AweSam said:

Lol poor Wally. He's popular, you know.

I know. I hate DC for not including him. I'm running out of characters to interview now...I may have to start with villains.

Oh Hi there! And welcome to Gah! Issue 33. Today we have General Nick Fury.

Gah! #33

Hi Nick!

Yes they deserve to die and I hope they burn in hail!

What? Erm...

Oh, I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?

Dude! You can't ask me questions in my thread!

I don’t remember asking you a goddamn thing!

STOP DOING THAT!!!!

B*tch, be cool!

And you were the only one that I wasn't going to ask any booty questions to.

I have had it with this motherf****n’ booty on this motherf****n’ thread!

@Avenging-X-Bolt: Glad you liked it. I don't know who to do now :L

Oh hey gaiz....@primepower53

Gah! #34

It's Alan Scott!

Heh.

What?

You won't be able to use your theme now.

What?

I'm gay now. Remember.

Oh...so what happened to your kids?

I dunno, probably dead.

Oh. So do you still have that same crappy costume?

What?

Yeah, y'know since you're gay I thought your fashion sense would be better.

It's not that big a deal that I'm gay.

Have you read Teen Titans? Are you going to be as flamboyant as Bunker?

Everyone was humiliated. I don't know why I thought I'd be any different.

Answer the question.

It's not that big a deal that I'm gay.

I know, I just wanted to fill space with slightly offensive material that people will hate me for until we get far enough in that I don't feel like I'm cheating the readers.

@primepower53 said:

:D

Again, suggestions

Please make fun of Gay, I mean Guy Gardner.

@AweSam said:

Please make fun of Gay, I mean Guy Gardner.

Hehe, will do. That'll be my next one once I'm done with this paperwork xD

Oh hi @Avenging-X-Bolt just casually doing your bidding....Ladies and gentleman, TIM DRAKE!

Gah! #35

Hi Tim.

Hi.

So...are those rumours true?

What rumours?

Y'know...that you're playing on Green Lantern's team.

I'm not even old enough to be a paedophile!

No--the other Green Lantern.

Which one?

Alan Scott.

What about him?

Well...y'know. Him being gay.

What?! I'm not gay!

Oh come on Tim. We all know how you got Batman's secret identity.

Yeah, I followed him.

Dude, you stalked him. You stalked his di-- I mean, Dick Grayson as well.

What about Stephanie Brown?!

Oh yeah, that really tore you up inside. Oh wait, you never tried to clone her.

I was sick of losing people!!

Dude, even before that.

What?!

Dude, come on.

I. AM. NOT. GAY!!!!!!

Really?

Erm...

Yeah, yeah! Point one to me my friend.

We're done.

She was naked! And in your bed!

She was drunk!

AND NAKED!

WE'RE DONE HERE!!!

@primepower53 said:

I love this...drunk and naked....and he turned her down.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, TIM!??!

Much. Much is wrong with him.

Anyway, next is @AweSam's Guy Gardner!

Guuuyyy Gardner!

Gah! #36

Hey Gay-- I mean Guy.

You know, you've been making gay jokes a lot recently. Are they replacing the booty ones from the first 30.

Maybe...

You should probably stop before you offend someone.

I'm gonna offend someone with the next statement.

*sigh*

Why are all Green Lanterns a**holes?

I will punch you.

Meh...so, what's with the Conan O'Brien look?

What?

Am I the only one who sees the resemblance

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Oh god.....I feel so bad now. Why am I letting you trash my favorites......poor Tim. He doesn't take advantage of a drunken emotionally unstable chick and is branded a homosexual (which isn't inherently bad but it does kinda screw up a dudes love life)

Well...even Prime takes what he can get.

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Wait....whY does Guy sound so.....mature.

I have no idea. I just wanted to make the Conan O' Brien joke. xD NOW! MORE SUGGESTIONS!!! And another theme, gay jokes are hard to do....like PRIME IN A GAY CLUB.

@TheGremlin said:

Take this how you will but if the girl isn't throwing up in your bed she's not that drunk.

And if you still go for her after she throws up you are that desperate xD

@primepower53 said:

@CapFanboy said:

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Oh god.....I feel so bad now. Why am I letting you trash my favorites......poor Tim. He doesn't take advantage of a drunken emotionally unstable chick and is branded a homosexual (which isn't inherently bad but it does kinda screw up a dudes love life)

Well...even Prime takes what he can get.

@Avenging-X-Bolt said:

Wait....whY does Guy sound so.....mature.

I have no idea. I just wanted to make the Conan O' Brien joke. xD NOW! MORE SUGGESTIONS!!! And another theme, gay jokes are hard to do....like PRIME IN A GAY CLUB.

I. Hate. You.

Ha.

@primepower53 said:

@CapFanboy: Not. Funny. At. All.

It is where I stand.

Guy Gardner hate is the best kind of hate. His hair does look like Conan's lol.

@AweSam said:

Guy Gardner hate is the best kind of hate. His hair does look like Conan's lol.

It really does!

@BlackArmor said:

How the hell do I still find this hilarious

Nobody knows. Even I do and I wrote them xD

All those stupid s inc comics and new amalgam universe sign up threads are pushing this down so I'm bumping this.

Oh hi guys!!! Long time no gay jokes, it's purple superman!

Gah! #37

Hi purple Superman!!

Gladiator.

My name isn't Gladiator.

No, mine is.

No...you're purple Superman.

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPERMAN? I AM AN ALIEN FROM THE PLANET--

Krypton?

I have a son! Named--

Superboy?

What?!

Oh wait! Gladiator! That rings a bell!

Thank you--

You this guy?

What?!

Dude, costume sucks. You should've called yourself bullethead or something...

That's the worst name ever.

So is purple Superman!

MY NAME ISN'T PURPLE SUPERMAN!!!

Wait. You're purple? Is that you split into two, like Superman red and Superman Blue?

What?! Stop mentioning Superman you f***king idi--Wait. Did you just make a rhyme?

Yeah!

Oh.

@BlackArmor said:

Apparently rhyming soothes the anger of Purple Superman, which is now his official name

I'm doing a whole series on superman imposters. If you want, I can link you to each new interview post?

@BlackArmor I was going to do a superman imposter series...but that would suck so...SCARLET WITCH!!!

Gah! #38

Oh hi scarlet witch!

Please, call me Wanda.

No thanks...

Why not?

Cause you might go psycho again.

That was a one off thing!! My children were taken from m--

Was that cause your kid was gay.

What? No that was afte--

Wanda, I'm disappointed in you. I mean, you were down with incest but homosexuality is off limit?

I already told you, that was way afte--Wait. Did you just say incest?

Yes.

*zap*

OW!

I am not in a relationship with my brother you creep!!

But androids are fine..

Vision is a wonderful man--machine--android.

So, you created these children because?

Vision and I couldn't get pregnant.

Well...I'm not sure hydraulics work like that...

interesting...

@BlackArmor said:

aww I was looking forward to the Superman Power Rangers..........And hydraulics totally work like that

In like a flash xD It was terrible, the sentry interview would be good but the icon one wasn't

@The Poet said:

interesting...

This whole "not spamming the boards with Gah! fics" thing isn't more fun than before xD

It's the Human Torch!

Gah! #39

So, Mr Storm how ar--

Hi there guys and gals, it's Johnny Storm here and I am delighted to welcome you to the most awesome episode of "Gah!" you will ever rea--

YOU CAN'T STEAL MY SHOW! YOU'RE A GUEST!

Hey man, I'm Johnny freakin' Storm. I can do whatever I want.

Except win an election...

It's not my fault they voted for Annihilus!

It wouldn't be if you weren't such a sh*tty leader.

HEY! I DID A GOOD JOB!

Oh please. Spiderman does better than you.

Oh f*ck you. F*ck you.

I really am finding these less fun. If anyone can point me into a direction that suddenly re-awakens my love for mocking comic characters, you have my undying gratitude.