Friendly Advice From Friday!
Come one, come all, come on, you jerks!
It's FRIDAY'S very own advice column!
Okay, now our first letter is from "CH---"... "SSSHHHH---".... "KICHICHHHHH----".....
Uh, Friday, that says "TSHEEPO."
Gee, thanks Homer, what would I do without ya? Oh, I know, BE HAPPY. I knew it said "KASHICHEEEPO" all along!
No, it says---- ugh, never mind.
"Dear Friday, my dad ssshhhhaysssshhh I'll never make it sssshhhelling merccchhhandissshhhhe to local moronsssshhhhh."
Hey, I shop at Tsheepo's store! That guy totally ripped me off on that 3DS! Turned out, it was just an iPad! So I threw the piece of crap in the garbage. I mean, who wants an iPad these days?
Shut up, Home-Dog, I'm readin' here! "Sssshhhho I dessshhhided to tell you about it. Can you help me out on thissssshhhhh one? Sssshincerely, Tsheepo."
Tcheapo's more like it.
Ut-shay Our-Yay Outh-May, Ipstick-Day!
Lipstick Day? Sorry, I don't wear lipstick.
UGH!!!! Well, anyways... Dear Tsheepo, you sssshhhhould---- I mean you should tell your Dad he's being dumb and just keep selling iPads to dumb people like Homer.
Yeah! I mean--- um---- what did you say again?
Th-th-that's all, folks! Don't forget to ask me for advice! Your problem could be in the next ish!
You should ask him what "Lipstick Day" is supposed to mean, guys. And before you go, I am NOT Homer Simpson. I'm a different fat lazy moron. I mean, I have hair! And I---- uh---- I HAVE HAIR!
"Do I have to wear a tie to this Super Bowl Party, Monday?" asked Friday, struggling to get his clip-on tie to clip on to the front of his shirt.
"Yeah, it'll be cool! We'll be the Tie Bros!" said Monday, helping Friday with his tie.
"You say that EVER again, I'll rip your eyeball out and cram it up your right nostril!" threatened Friday, grabbing Monday's throat and squeezing it as tight as possible.
"But Homer's counting on us showing up looking fancy!" choked Monday, struggling to breathe.
"Homer won't give a crap! His wife, Sheila, will, but not him!" explained Friday, squeezing tighter on Monday's throat.
"Anything's better than me dying...." gasped Monday, clawing at Friday's hands.
"I can squeeze tighter than THAT, you know." growled Friday.
"In that case, you don't need the tie!" shouted Monday, barely breathing.
"Good." chuckled Friday evilly, putting Monday down and letting go of his throat.
THA END! AND DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN YOUR PROBLEMS N' QUESTIONS FOR FRIDAY, OR ELSE HE'LL SET HOMER OFF ON YOU!