Our story starts on a dark, dark night...
"Oh, Edwin!" said the whiny girl on the TV.
"Oh, God!" said the whiny Friday sitting on the couch.
"Come on, Friday, if you can't feel the love then don't show up to chick flick night!" said Friday's nerdy cousin, Monday.
It was chick flick night at Monday's house.
"Gross, man!" replied Friday "Feel the love... ew... but then again I never knew what love felt like..."
"LOVE FEELS LIKE PAIN!" shouted the crying heart-broken man in the chick flick.
"I'm out of here..." said Friday.
Friday was on his way home when he got hungry.
So he went to go get a Double-Pretzel Ice Cream Burger.
"One Double-Pretzel Ice Cream Burger." said Friday.
"Would you like to try our special Sweaty Love-Struck Awkward Teenager fries?" asked the sweaty awkward teenage guy.
"No..." answered Friday.
"Good call, bro." said the sweaty awkward teenage guy.
Friday left the store, wondering two things: what love feels like, and what sweaty love-struck awkward teenager fries taste like.
Suddenly, a huge, hairy, hideous BEAST revealed itself.
"EEEEEEP!!!!" screeched Friday, dropping his burger and running away in terror.
The creature chased Friday to Mount Rock, but then the minster caught a whiff of that melty Double-Pretzel Ice Cream Burger.
The giant creature sniffed at the burger, and then swallowed it whole, disappearing once more into the shadows, leaving behind nothing but 2 giant paw prints on Mount Rock.
"Whoooo...." mumbled Friday.
The next day, a crowd of people gathered around the giant paw-prints.
Friday ran all the way to the front of the crowd.
"I'm joining the search for this savage yet unseen demonic thing person guy or whatever it is! It attacked me last night, and left this gigantic paw print!!!" shouted Friday.
Everybody just stared at him.
"God, tough crowd..." he mumbled.
That night, Friday sat in his apartment watching his VHS tape of "Tales From The Far Side".
That's when.... it happened!
"RUFF! WOOF! RUFF RUFF! WOOF WOOF WOOF! BARK!"
"Aaaah!" screamed Friday.
Friday looked out his window.
The noise was coming from the strangely gigantic old shed behind the apartment building.
"Wow! I just noticed how huge that one old shed is!" he said.
He got outside, and walked slowly toward the shed.
"Hello..." he said. "Michael Meyers? Chucky? Freddy Krueger? Justin Bieber? Uuugh.... Juuustin Biebeeeeer..."
Friday noticed a loud/echoing panting noise.
He opened the shed door, and... BAM!
A giant pitbull jumped out of it!
"You bad, bad, BAAAD mamma-jamma!" Friday said to the dog. "You could go to dog-jail AKA the pound for acting like a monster but really being a stray dog on the loose!
The dog made that annoying whimpering noise dogs make when they're sad.
"Tell ya what, I'll keep ya as a pet so those boys in blue AKA dog catchers don't catch you!" Friday said.
Friday decided to name the monster-dog "Thanksgiving", because the dog made a feast out of that Double-Pretzel Ice Cream Burger.
Friday petted the monster dog on the head.
"Good boy..." he said. "Good boy...."