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#1 Edited by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio

This is the first voting thread for the second round. The two contestants; @joshmightbe and @batkevin74 were given a picture. Both of them had to write separate stories based on it. Please vote here, or PM me your vote if you wish to remain anonymous. Anyone can vote. Let round 2 begin!

Joshmightbe

Martian colony 200 years after earth

An old man sits by a fire marveling at the new forest that had sprung up after the terraforming had finished up. There was alarge group of children surrounding him excited to be among the first humans to walk beyond the walls of the complex without a space suit.

The old man sat down on a folding chair he'd brought with him as the kids gathered round and looked to the sky toward the shattered remains of his former home world. The children demanded to hear him tell the story only told in whispers.

He nodded, "Okay, kids settle down and I will tell you of the day when our home world died."

" We had seen Galactus before, we had fended him off and hoped to do the same again but we weren't prepared for the other. At first we mistook it for Galactus' ship but our astrologers noticed it looked different, like a planet of steel and copper. Millions died when its pincers dug in to our world and it began pulling us into its jagged mouth. We thought that was the end but the mighty hands of Galactus gripped the pincers and ripped them from the Earth while he pushed the beast known as Unicron away claiming the meal for himself."

"The world stood still like an ant colony waiting to see which aardvark would devour us. It was then that Unicron revealed his true self. He transformed himself into a massive humanoid machine and squared off with his fellow devourer of worlds. As the two hostile god-like entities prepared for combat the Fantasic four, X-men and Avengers joined forces and helped to evacuate as many as they could onto massive arks that had been commissioned by Tony Stark as a back plan for the time when the heroes of Earth might fail and lose the world to forces beyond our control."

The whole of the planet rocked with the force from Unicron's first shot to Galactus. As Galactus returned a punch it sent out a shock wave that shattered the Himalayan mountains and hurled large portions of Asia into the pacific. The earth erupted into a thousand quakes coupled with the largest tsunamis the world had ever seen as the struggle continued. They fired off great blasts of energy at one another that burned the western hemisphere to ash and destroyed one of the arks taking thousands of people with it."

The old man stopped for a moment to wipe a tear from his eyes, "The mighty Thor used all the power he could muster to protect the remaining arks but paid for it with his own life. Even his hammer exploded into dust as he was caught by a blast. Many of our greatest heroes attempted to end the fight but were destroyed in the crossfire before ever making contact."

As the last ark left the Earth they could be seen grappling each other each trying to force submission from the other until at last Galactus' armor cracked and released a wave of energy that ripped the Earth apart and drove Unicron back. As Unicron attempted to return to the fight he found himself bound by Galactus' machines. He flailed in attempt to escape as Galactus reassembled his armor. As the machines did their work the voice of Galactus was picked up over the comms on the Arks as he told Unicron," "You were the more powerful, but I the more intelligent."

" We watched as the machines did their work and devoured the evil Unicron, feeding Galactus more than any thousand worlds could and for the first time since his creation Galactus' hunger was sated. To this day it is said that the mighty world devourer has ceased feeding, so while our world died countless others were saved. We built this world from those arks and we honor those we lost with this forest. And that children is how we came to our new home."
END.

Batkevin74

The Milky Way

Galactus looked upon the giant robot standing near the Earth “What do you think you are doing?”

It slowly turned towards the purple helmeted giant “Who dares speak to Unicron?”

“Galactus”

The planet sized robot scanned the eater of worlds “Why are you here?

“Why are you here?” replied Galactus as he used the Power Cosmic to similarly appraise his opponent.

The two giant forces of nature stared at each other intently, each sizing the other up as the Earth turned slowly between them. Galactus reached out to grab hold of the blue planet spinning between them, when Unicron lashed out with a fist catching Galactus square in the mouth, sending hurtling him back towards Mars.

Galactus wiped his mouth. He stood using the red planet like a crutch to get back to his feet “You dare to lay a hand on Galactus?”

“For a moment, I considered sparing your wretched life.” said Unicron “But now, I shall….DISMEMBER YOU!”

The two giants launched at each other. If there were oxygen, the sound would’ve of burst eardrums for millions of miles as they attacked each other.

“You will die!” hummed Unicron, as it discharged a massive blast of pure energy from its eyes. Galactus ducked as the blast smashed into Jupiter and grabbed Unicron by the neck.

“You will pay for touching Galactus!” The Power Cosmic rippled through his mighty purple hand, searing the metal and turning bits to molten slag. Unicron roared and batted the hand away. The two beings of immense power fought like unskilled children; brutal but clumsy. Each was use to simply being given what they wished, rarely if ever having to get physical. Galactus slammed a fist into Unicron’s face as Unicron repaid the blow with a mighty elbow to the gut. Galactus reached back and took hold of the moon and smashed it into Unicron’s eye shattering the satellite into dust.

“Ahhh!” roared the gigantic robot who staggered backwards. Galactus charged in, and tackled them both into the sun. “AHHHHH!” roared Unicron as the near six thousand degree Kelvin star burnt into his back. Unicron grabbed Galactus by the large wings on his helmet and flipped him, pushing his face into the badly damaged ball of energy.

“DIE!”

Galactus screamed as the Sun burnt into his cheek as he struggled to break free as Unicron forced it further into the Sun. Channelling the Power Cosmic, Galactus pulled the Mercury towards him and smashed it across the back of Unicron’s head like a blackjack, forcing him to let go.

“That is the last time you lay a hand on me!” seethed Galactus as he plucked Venus from its orbit and cocked it like a baseball ready to fire.

“You will not take the Allspark!” screamed Unicron as he jumped forward and smashed a fist into Galactus’ chest, the blow rocketing him across the solar system.

Galactus slowed his skid and stood “What?”

Unicron approached cautiously “You are not here for the Allspark?”

“I am here to consume the earth”

The pair looked at each other and then around at the destruction they’d caused in the now badly lit corner of space.

“So you…” Galactus gritted his teeth.

Unicron scratched his head “I thought that…”

“I’m really sorry!” said Galactus.

“Oh no, totally my fault” replied Unicron “I just assume EVERYONE’S after the Allspark”

“I thought you were a giant robot built by Reed Richards to scare me away” laughed Galactus “How stupid do I feel?”

“I tried to burn your face off” apologized Unicron “Can I get you a cold planet for that?”

“I’m fine, fine. How’s your back?”

Unicron laughed “I’m a robot, I don’t have feelings!”

The pair burst into peals of laughter. After several moments of laughter they regained their composure.

“So why are you here?” asked Unicron “If you’re not after the Allspark?”

“I was going to eat the Earth”

“Why?”

“It gives me sustenance. That’s kind of what I do”

“You eat planets?”

“More like consume them?” Galactus patted his stomach gently.

“I see…” Unicron tried to process that in his mega-terra-exbibyte “brain”.

“So, what is the Allspark that you’re looking for?” asked Galactus “Maybe I can help?”

“It’s a universe cluster capable of creating plan…ets” Unicron looked at Galactus as the giant explorer from Taa’s eyes lit up “I KNEW YOU WERE AFTER THE ALLSPARK!”

“WHERE IS IT?” demanded Galactus, his hands bursting with Power Cosmic energy “GIVE ME THIS ALLSPARK!”

“NOBODY TELLS UNICRON WHAT TO DO?” came the screeched reply and again they traded blows. Up and down the solar system. Using whatever they could get their hands on; asteroids, planets, old Russian space stations, Unicron even tried to choke Galactus with the ring of Saturn! Eventually after several hours of evenly pitched bashing, hitting and swearing; the very tired pair stopped, each unable to swing another blow nor trade another insult.

“HEY!”

Unicron and Galactus looked up to see a tiny man wielding a massive emerald megaphone hovering in front of them, looking none too happy.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU’RE DOING?” roared Hal Jordan.

Galactus and Unicron exchanged nervous glances.

“He started it!”

“Oh you lying robot!”

“I will kill you for this!”

“ENOUGH!” yelled Hal through the megaphone before separating the two of them with an energy construct of burly bouncers, holding them apart “YOU TWO HAVE WRECKED MY SECTOR OF SPACE! LOOK AT IT!”

Galactus and Unicron looked at their feet, everywhere but where Hal was pointing.

“YOU TWO ARE GOING TO FIX THIS”

“Who’s going to make us?” sassed Galactus “You?”

“Yeah!” chimed in Unicron “You and what…army”

The sky lit up with thousands of green lights as the Green Lantern Corps showed up, backed by the Yellow, Red, Blue and Violet Corps.

“THAT ARMY!” answered Hal “NOW GET TO IT!”

After three hours and much complaining, Unicron and Galactus put the solar system back together, just the way they had found it.

“NOW, SAY SORRY AND SHAKE HANDS” stated Hal.

The pair eyed each other before the lamest, quickest, weak force hand shake in the history of handshakes occurred matched only by the quietest apology this or any other universe has ever heard.

Hal looked at them “NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY UNIVERSE!”

#2 Posted by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio
#3 Posted by dngn4774 (2239 posts) - - Show Bio

It was close but Batkev had more action and comedy. My vote goes to @batkevin74.

#4 Posted by BaneStrokeLoboGrundyBatArrow (1355 posts) - - Show Bio

OMG BATKEVIN THAT WAS HILARIOUS! I vote for BatKevin lol

#5 Edited by wildvine (7194 posts) - - Show Bio

Gotta vote Bats.

#6 Posted by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio

Going to have to keep score on my phone.

#7 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

What sucks here is that if i could vote id have to vote for batkev

#8 Edited by Myrmidon_ (4796 posts) - - Show Bio

Bats! Josh, Loved your descriptions but bats took it for me overall.

#9 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

@anthony_stark: no worries i actually agree he wrote a better story i would feel no shame losing here

#10 Posted by TommytheHitman (2473 posts) - - Show Bio
#11 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio
#12 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio
#13 Posted by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774: @banestrokelobogrundybatarrow: @wildvine: @anthony_stark: @tommythehitman: Thank you

@joshmightbe: Galactus ATE Unicron! That's cool, loved the ending "To this day it is said that the mighty world devourer has ceased feeding, so while our world died countless others were saved. We built this world from those arks and we honor those we lost with this forest. And that children is how we came to our new home" There's a whole world their ready to write :)

#14 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio
#15 Posted by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio
#16 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: dude i would vote for yours over my own but mine did give me an idea for a fic project after you mentioned it

#17 Posted by Bronze_Surfer (2864 posts) - - Show Bio

They were both really well but in the end I go with @joshmightbe. While batkevin74 was great, the humor in it just turned me off.

#18 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (16918 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: @joshmightbe:

Damn you both have done extremely well.I think I will vote for Kevs though.Both where really well written though.

#19 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio
#20 Edited by cbishop (6317 posts) - - Show Bio

I vote for @joshmightbe. Batkev's is massively entertaining, as always, but I felt the two giants were more in character in josh's. Batkev's would be a great What The...?! story.

#21 Edited by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Well we only really had two options here considering the characters, epic tragedy or absurdist comedy I went one way Kev went the other

#22 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1545 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: I vote for @joshmightbe ! Batkevin did a very good, very funny job but josh's tale of why there is a colony on Mars plus truer characterisation but this line by @batkevin74 “I tried to burn your face off” apologized Unicron “Can I get you a cold planet for that?” Is genuinely funny. Well done to you both

@betatesthighlander1 you should read these over

#23 Posted by Betatesthighlander1 (7462 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson:

yeah, they were pretty good

i geuss Batkevi's was my poreferred tales

#24 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (16918 posts) - - Show Bio
#25 Posted by Angryprune (606 posts) - - Show Bio

oh wow these are awesome!

#26 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (1545 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson:

yeah, they were pretty good

i geuss Batkevi's was my poreferred tales

Are you deliberately being egregious, or just childish with your spelling due to tiredness?

#27 Posted by Betatesthighlander1 (7462 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson:

heh, you took that as aggressive (sorry)

I'm really not that good at spelling, that and I'm using a very old computer (thhat hasx some sub=par software)and it's not interacting very well with the site's spellchecker

#28 Posted by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio
#29 Edited by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio
#30 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm actually seriously considering basing a fic project off my entry, just haven't thought of a good name yet. So far my working title is Marvel: After Earth Fall. Or just Earth Fall, or maybe an abbreviation How does Marvel: A.E.F. sound?

#31 Edited by Myrmidon_ (4796 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm actually seriously considering basing a fic project off my entry, just haven't thought of a good name yet. So far my working title is Marvel: After Earth Fall. Or just Earth Fall, or maybe an abbreviation How does Marvel: A.E.F. sound?

Do it!

#32 Edited by cbishop (6317 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Well we only really had two options here considering the characters, epic tragedy or absurdist comedy I went one way Kev went the other

I suppose that's true. Both stories have excellent potential for expansion into full fledged fics, but I get a little frustrated with @batkevin74's stuff sometimes. There is so often a point where a really good, building-to-something-cool story degenerates into silly, Cracked style comedy...and it's still good. I never know whether to be upset that he abandoned good drama for laughs, or impressed that he somehow still pulled it off. I'm usually both. lol

I'm actually seriously considering basing a fic project off my entry, just haven't thought of a good name yet. So far my working title is Marvel: After Earth Fall. Or just Earth Fall, or maybe an abbreviation How does Marvel: A.E.F. sound?

Marvel: A.G. (After Galactus) or even just A.G., because TransFormers aren't Marvel. Two tweaks I can't resist suggesting: the arks should be TransFormers, and part of the plan to maximize ark space should include mass use of Pym's shrinking formula. Okay, that's the end of me buttin' in. ;)

#33 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Involving Transformers would just complicate things, I was just planning on Unicron crossing over into the Marvel Universe from the Transformers universe and leaving it at that for the time being.

#34 Edited by Angryprune (606 posts) - - Show Bio
#35 Posted by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio

Not lookin' good for Josh.

#36 Posted by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio
@cbishop said:

but I get a little frustrated with @batkevin74's stuff sometimes. There is so often a point where a really good, building-to-something-cool story degenerates into silly, Cracked style comedy...and it's still good. I never know whether to be upset that he abandoned good drama for laughs, or impressed that he somehow still pulled it off. I'm usually both. lol

Thanks...I think :)

#37 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio
#38 Posted by cbishop (6317 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Involving Transformers would just complicate things, I was just planning on Unicron crossing over into the Marvel Universe from the Transformers universe and leaving it at that for the time being.

Oh, absolutely, it would be more complicated, but the TF role could be kept to a simple level: "We're here to help you get out of Unicron's way," and away you go. It would make it WAY more epic though, and it's pretty epic as is. Especially if the TF arks still became the humans' new planet. What would motivate them to commit to that? Is it another Unicron in the making? Might it attract Galactus again? Soooo much more that TF opens up. ...Honestly though, the hard part for me would be the TF personalities. I'd feel obligated to research that some, and that seems a bit daunting. Still, a few key personalities chime in, the rest are just there - could work. I'm just spitballin' though. It's your story. ;)

@cbishop said:

but I get a little frustrated with @batkevin74's stuff sometimes. There is so often a point where a really good, building-to-something-cool story degenerates into silly, Cracked style comedy...and it's still good. I never know whether to be upset that he abandoned good drama for laughs, or impressed that he somehow still pulled it off. I'm usually both. lol

Thanks...I think :)

Make no mistake: it's only half a compliment. ;)

You're kind of lazy in your writing about 68% of the time. It's like you get a really cool idea, start running with it, run out of steam (hit writer's block - whatever you want to call it) and then say, "Forget it. I'm just going to make it funny." What's frustrating is: once I get past the shock of the change in tone of the story, it IS funny...and funny is hard to sustain in a story. Short one liners in a thread can be easy, but to keep comedy going takes work. That makes it even more frustrating, because even when you turn flippant halfway through, the writing is still good. I'm trying to find the right way to describe it...

...It's kind of like: I start reading this story, and I'm enjoying it, and then suddenly, it's gone. I don't get to know the ending, because this other story just slithered up beside it like a kingsnake, took its measure, and swallowed it whole, turning it into something else. But the kingsnake knows Vaudeville and parody, and dang, that's a pretty awesome story too. But frick, I want to know how the first story ended, because "eaten by a kingsnake" was not how it was supposed to end. I like it and I hate it.

Am I jealous? A little. But mostly, it just frustrates me that you don't commit. Instead of one story with two big, crater making bangs, give me one, dramatic atomic mushroom cloud of landscape flattening awesome. And then follow it up with a second story of comedic, atomic, gut busting funny. You write well in whatever you write, but dangit, commit!

In short: if you're going to outshine me, dangit, at least make it look like you put effort into it. lol ;)

#39 Posted by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Thanks...I get the kingsnake idea, but in honesty Galactus Vs Unicron was, for me, always going to be funny based on purely, they each eat/destroy planets. I didn't think I was going to pull it off, but people liked it.

As for round 1, I was given Crom, who I had NFI about so I did a bit of research and thought "What if gods got p!ss^d at followers?" The idea went from there.

I actually do try will all my stories, often the ones I try and put extra effort in get ignored

(eg: Virtutem Dei Pt1-3 http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/virtutem-dei/710871/#1 http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/virtutem-dei-ii/723888/ http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/virtutem-dei-iii/737992/#8

Rangers of Freedom Origins & Introductions: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/the-rangers-of-freedom-origins-introductions/719823/

Chapter 1 'Circling The Wagons': http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/the-rangers-of-freedom-chapter-1-circling-the-wagons/725219/

Criminal Enterprise Episode 1 http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/criminal-enterprise-episode-1/686470/#17

Punisher Part 1 http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/marvel-genesis-the-punisher/659194/#48 )

SHAMELESS PLUG.

But maybe next round, if I get through as voting is still on, I'll try a straight story, but no promises though

#40 Edited by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: I already have it under way, I decided to make it more of a frontier story with some sci-fi mixed in. I just don't know enough about transformers to do them justice so I'm leaving them alone. Maybe somewhere down the line I'll bring up where Unicron came from but for now I'm focusing on Earth survivors. Also it would kind of lessen the impact of the Arks if they were just something the transformers gave them instead of something someone on Earth actually had the forethought to build.

#41 Edited by cbishop (6317 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Thanks...I get the kingsnake idea, but in honesty Galactus Vs Unicron was, for me, always going to be funny based on purely, they each eat/destroy planets. I didn't think I was going to pull it off, but people liked it.

As for round 1, I was given Crom, who I had NFI about so I did a bit of research and thought "What if gods got p!ss^d at followers?" The idea went from there.

I actually do try will all my stories, often the ones I try and put extra effort in get ignored

...But maybe next round, if I get through as voting is still on, I'll try a straight story, but no promises though

Well, understand that my comment comes from the little that I've read of yours - I'm not all over the fanfic forum, just mainly in a few contest threads, and you seem to be more laid back there many times. But please, critique aside, don't miss the part where I said the frustrating part is that it's STILL GOOD. lol

@cbishop: I already have it under way, I decided to make it more of a frontier story with some sci-fi mixed in. I just don't know enough about transformers to do them justice so I'm leaving them alone. Maybe somewhere down the line I'll bring up where Unicron came from but for now I'm focusing on Earth survivors. Also it would kind of lessen the impact of the Arks if they were just something the transformers gave them instead of something someone on Earth actually had the forethought to build.

Not if it revealed that someone had the forethought to pre-plan this with the TransFormers. ;) ...Seeing the Marvel heroes do it on their own definitely has its merits as well though.

#42 Posted by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Wouldn't really complicate things. Problem is that we don't have enough writers to pull it off.

#43 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: That's true, I was actually saying it would complicate things for me since my Transformers knowledge begins and ends with the 80s TV show and the animated movie. I did see few episodes of Beast Wars but I remember next to nothing about it. Basically I don't think I could do them very well.

#44 Edited by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio

Is this done? I think we're done @awesam

#45 Posted by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio
#46 Posted by RazzaTazz (9360 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: Oh I was going to reply as I just saw this now. There is no "m" in my username :)

Moderator
#47 Edited by AweSam (7121 posts) - - Show Bio

@razzatazz: I know, that's why I put a question mark. Everytime I called you out, it put an "m" by itself.

#48 Posted by Delphic (1347 posts) - - Show Bio

I know the voting has been over for a while, but I still wanted to weigh in my thoughts on the stories. Sorry it took so long guys I've been busy with life and my own part in the competition.

Anyway, I thought @joshmightbe's was pretty good, and normally I like to offer some sort of criticism at this point, so to help the writers better their craft, but I don't really have anything. Mostly because I felt it was too short, but after all there was a word limit. Despite that, it was still pretty good and did what it was supposed to do. So good job Josh.

If I could still vote though, my vote would have to go to @batkevin74. I have to say that you are one of the funniest writers I have read in this fan-fiction section. I love how it started out as a chance meeting between titans, and then all of a sudden it descended into the equivalent of a bar room brawl. Also when Hal Jordan shows up at the end of it, I about fell out of my chair. If I could only offer one criticism, and I have to reach pretty far with it, because I consider it almost irrelevant. The fact that ALL the corps showed up at the end. I would have loved to seen just what had happened to get Hal, Sinestro, and Atrocitus to work together. That wasn't the point of the story though, so Bravo BatKev, Bravo.

Online
#49 Posted by batkevin74 (9826 posts) - - Show Bio

@delphic: Thanks, I think Hal just pointed out that if the two giant idiots wrecking his solar system arn't stopped, then ALL sectors of space are under threat so "Stop being a child Sinestro, and help me!"

Most things are funny if you look at them correctly :)

#50 Posted by joshmightbe (24103 posts) - - Show Bio