Posted by Ravager4 (1689 posts) - - Show Bio

And without further ado, Issue #4 of my Extraordinary Persons series, written in comic script form.

Past Issues:


PAGE 1 (Splash/Title)

This page picks up right where we left off in the previous issue. The ESCAPEES (REI MIURA, CHRISTINE WILSON, BRIANNA REID, MICHAEL DANVERS, and HECTOR RIOS) have made it outside the facility only to be confronted by a large team of GUARDS pointing guns at them, as well as a thoroughly annoyed SOPHIE BELMONT. One specific thing to note here is that REI is still hanging off of BRIANNA in order to stand, doubled over from the heavy bruising on her abdomen. Also, BRIANNA'S nose is bleeding and broken.

Sophie: Stand down at once, or we will use whatever force necessary to take you in.

TITLE: Extraordinary Persons

SUB-TITLE: Genesis: Part 4

CREDITS: Credits go here


PAGE 2 (Five Panels)

1. Wide shot here of the ESCAPEES. They're none too thrilled at the prospect of going back as prisoners. MICHAEL reacts strongest of all, thoroughly pissed. Also, HECTOR is absently scratching one of his arms here.

Michael: Are you out of your mind? You kidnapped us! You did... things to us. And you expect us to just lie down and go back in those tanks? No way!

Caption (Brianna): Michael speaks for all of us. We want out of this place. All of us... kidnapped, imprisoned, experimented on.

2. Focusing just on BRIANNA and REI now. BRIANNA is angry, too, but REI is barely on her feet, in pain.

Brianna: You've no right to keep us here!

Caption (Brianna): Me name's Brianna Reid, in case you were wonderin'. The girl hangin' off me is Rei. Poor thing took a rubber bullet to the gut not long ago.

3. SOPHIE has her arms crossed. She's annoyed, frustrated. The situation is starting to get out of hand.

Sophie: Vraiment? You don't seem to realize, all of you are now property of Slaton Industries. We own you.

Caption (Brianna): As far as I can tell, this French chick is the only one standin' between us all and freedom.

4. Pull out on SOPHIE, so we can see her and several of the GUARDS along with her.

Sophie: You're not going anywhere. None of you.

Caption (Brianna): Well, her and about a dozen armed guards.

5. Switch focus to HECTOR and CHRISTINE here. HECTOR shares the anger of the others, but CHRISTINE is more panicked than anything. HECTOR continues absently scratching his arm here.

Hector: Property? We're human beings, estúpida!

Christine: Why? Why are you doing this to us?


PAGE 3 (Five Panels)

1. Back on SOPHIE.

Sophie: Because... you are all very unique individuals. Monsieur Slaton needs you -- all of you.

2. MICHAEL has his hands balled to fists now, as if preparing to fight. He's also gone transparent again.

Michael: Sorry to disappoint, but you're not gonna stop us.

Caption (Brianna): Easy for him to say, he's got that nifty power of his.

3. SOPHIE glares at the ESCAPEES. She's smirking now, hands on her hips.

Sophie: You think your new abilities will help you escape? You barely know how to use them.

4. Focusing on BRIANNA and REI again.

Michael (O.P.): Yeah, well we've made this far, haven't we?

Caption (Brianna): Same with Rei here, and even Christine. Me? I'm just a black belt. Lot of good that does me right now.

5. Panel focusing on just HECTOR. He's scratching his arms furiously now, and there are small red blotches starting to form across his skin.

Michael (O.P.): We just have to make it a little farther.

Caption (Brianna): And Hector... he seems to have a right bad case of hives, or somethin'.


PAGE 4 (Five Panels)

1. SOPHIE gestures at the GUARDS standing next to her. They hold their guns pointed forward at the group.

Sophie: Let me explain something to you. You see these weapons?

2. Close up on one of the GUARDS' weapons.

Sophie (O.P.): They fire a chemical dart designed to cripple and subdue its target. The result is extremely painful and carries the risk of permanent nerve damage. I do not wish to use it...

3. Close up on SOPHIE, glaring intently.

Sophie: ...but I will if I have to.

Rei (O.P./weak): No...

4. Focusing on REI now. She is still weakened from the damage to her abdomen, but glares back at SOPHIE with a renewed determination.

Rei (weak): won't... keep us...

5. REI extends a hand forward now. The GUARDS recoil with shock and awe, as their weapons fly out of their grasps and through the air. The other ESCAPEES look on with more delighted surprise.

Rei: You won't!

Caption (Brianna): You know, I'm really startin' to like this girl.


PAGE 5 (Four Panels)

1. Focusing back on REI again. She's standing a little straighter now, still determined.

2. Still on REI. She looks suddenly surprised, almost sick. She's about to vomit.

3. REI is hunched over now, leaning off panel and throwing up.

Rei: -hurk-

Caption (Brianna): Well, that's unfortunate.

4. Splash panel. SOPHIE points towards the ESCAPEES, ordering the GUARDS forward. The GUARDS run at them, pulling spare weapons from their belts. Some reach for billy clubs, others for stun guns.

Sophie: Stop them! Now!


PAGE 6 (Five Panels)

1. We're back inside the facility again. Specifically, we're in the cafeteria from the previous issue. We should be able to see the hole in the wall, the result of CHRISTINE'S attack on LANCER. A dense pile of rubble surrounds it.

2. Zoom in on the hole in the wall here. Through the hole, we can see into the hallway beyond. Another pile of plaster and concrete lies beyond.

3. LANCER'S hand bursts through the rubble pile.

4. LANCER begins pulling himself up out of the debris. He's annoyed and frustrated, yet also strangely amused, a large grin slashing across his face.

5. LANCER walks back across the cafeteria floor, sword in hand. His back is to us, as he heads for the exit.

Lancer: My, my... sounds like I'm missin' one helluva shindig.


PAGE 7 (Four Panels)

1. Splash panel. The GUARDS and the ESCAPEES have clashed. Several GUARDS surround CHRISTINE, firing stun guns at her, but she has a force field up around herself for protection. Another couple GUARDS attack MICHAEL with billy clubs, but he phases straight through the attacks, completely intangible. Another GUARD knocks HECTOR backward with a strong club blow. We can't see REI or BRIANNA yet in this panel.

Guard #1: Take them down!

Guard #2: Hold still!

2. Focusing on CHRISTINE'S fight here. She holds her arms out straight, forcing her energy barrier to expand and blasting the GUARDS attacking her through the air.

Christine: Stay away!

Guard #1: Aaargh!

Guard #2: Look out!


3. A shot of MICHAEL now, phasing through another attack while delivering a solid punch to a GUARD'S jaw.

Michael: Don't think so!

4. We're on REI and BRIANNA now. REI is still hunched over, sick to her stomach. BRIANNA is trying to check on her, making sure she's alright. Towards the side of the panel, we can see a GUARD beginning to approach.

Brianna: You okay?

Rei (weak): I'm... fine...

Guard: Alright...


PAGE 8 (Five Panels)

1. The GUARD points a stun gun at BRIANNA. She goes on guard, ready to make any action necessary to defend herself.

Guard: ...just make this nice and easy. No funny business.

2. The GUARD fires the stun gun, projecting the electrodes. BRIANNA evades, however, turning her body and catching the attached wires.

Guard: Wha-

3. BRIANNA lunges forward with a vicious cross jab to the man's jaw, whipping his head back.

Brianna: Not this time!

4. We're back on CHRISTINE again. She's standing over several injured GUARDS, looking at them in awe.

Christine: Oh my god, this is totally insane!

Michael (O.P.): You got that right.

5. On MICHAEL now, phasing through more GUARD attacks.

Michael: But don't let up now!


PAGE 9 (Five Panels)

1. CHRISTINE looks back over her shoulder in surprise. We can see LANCER'S leg coming in from off panel.

Lancer (O.P.): Interestin' strategy.

Christine: Huh?

2. LANCER is in full view now, coming in with a flying kick that lands squarely on CHRISTINE'S backside. CHRISTINE recoils in shock and pain, as she plunges forward from the blow. MICHAEL looks on in surprise. He's also gone solid again. Note that LANCER'S sword has been returned to his back scabbard.

Lancer: Here's mine.

Michael: Christine!

3. CHRISTINE is on the ground now, cringing in pain. MICHAEL makes a move for LANCER. He's angry here. LANCER looks at him in amusement.

Michael: You son of a --

4. LANCER pulls MICHAEL into a hard knee strike to the gut.

Lancer: You really gotta learn to concentrate, mate. Your solid bits are showin' again.

Michael: -kaff!-

5. MICHAEL falls to his hands and knees, doubled over and clutching his stomach in pain. LANCER glances back over his shoulder. He sees BRIANNA there, defending herself and REI against another pair of GUARDS.

Lancer: Now, who's next?


PAGE 10 (Five Panels)

1. This panel is focusing on HECTOR now. One GUARD restrains him, holding his arms behind his back, while another beats him across the face with a billy club. The bright red blotches have spread across most of HECTOR'S body.

Guard #1: Just hold him still!

Guard #2: I got him, I got him.

Caption (Hector): It itches...

2. HECTOR starts to struggle against the GUARD holding him. His lip is bleeding. The attacking GUARD is lining up for another attack

Hector: Let go!

Guard #2: Still got some fight in him.

Guard #1: I'll fix that in a second.

Caption (Hector): Why does it itch so much?

3. HECTOR takes another blow to the jaw, but it doesn't slow him down. He's struggling harder now, almost throwing off the GUARD holding him. All across his skin, a thick, silvery substance, almost like liquid, is starting to emerge through his pores, spreading over his body. It's the Bio-Steel.

Caption (Hector): ¡Mierda! Now it's cold!

4. The silvery substance has now almost entirely engulfed HECTOR'S body, hardening into a solid metal casing. Now, he manages to throw the GUARD off of him, sending the man through the air at the second GUARD.

Hector: Get off!

Guard #1: Shit!

5. HECTOR is completely coated now in the metallic substance. He looks down at himself in awe, hardly able to believe what he's seeing.

Hector: Dios...

Caption (Hector): Now it feels... good.


PAGE 11 (Five Panels)

1. The GUARDS rush to attack HECTOR again.

Guard #1: What the hell's wrong with him?

Guard #2: Just put him down!

2. HECTOR catches one of the GUARD'S arms, squeezing tightly. He still can't believe what he's doing, or what's happening to him. The GUARD cringes with pain, as his arm breaks.


Hector: Uh, sorry?


Caption (Hector): This strength...

3. HECTOR lets go of the GUARD. He turns to look at the second GUARD, who swings his billy club to strike HECTOR across the face. The blow causes no damage, as HECTOR doesn't even flinch. Instead, HECTOR has his hand placed on the second GUARD'S chest, about to push him.

Guard #1: Let him go!

Caption (Hector): ...this power.

4. HECTOR pushes the second GUARD with one hand, arm fully extended. The GUARD flies away through the air like a rocket.

Caption (Hector): Is this for real?

5. Focusing on LANCER now. He's standing above a downed REI, and holds a beaten BRIANNA by the hair. Looking back over his shoulder, he sees HECTOR.

Lancer: Well, well, look at that.


PAGE 12 (Five Panels)

1. HECTOR and LANCER square off. LANCER takes a professional approach, readying himself with an expert fighting stance. HECTOR simply stares at him.

Hector: Leave them alone.

Lancer: Already done my business with them. You're the only one left.

2. LANCER lunges in with a swift kick to the side HECTOR'S head. HECTOR doesn't flinch, continuing to stare at him. LANCER looks genuinely surprised that his kick did no damage.

Hector: I won't be that easy.

3. Quick shot of HECTOR'S hand coming up to grab LANCER'S ankle.

4. HECTOR swings LANCER through the air, slamming him into the ground.

Hector: You're not keeping us here!

Lancer: Ack!

5. HECTOR throws LANCER through the air now.

Hector: We won't be your prisoners!


PAGE 13 (Five Panels)

1. LANCER is on his hands and knees, recovering from HECTOR'S assault. One hand reaches up over his shoulder, grabbing the handle to his sword.

Lancer: Got some fight in ya, kid. I like that.

2. LANCER is back on his feet, sword drawn. HECTOR takes a defensive stance.

Lancer: All for nothin', though, I'm afraid.

3. Small close up of LANCER'S grip on his sword hilt. His thumb clicks down on a small switch near the hand guard.


4. LANCER runs forward, taking a two-handed grip on his sword. The blade is glowing now, bright white and humming.

Lancer: See, it's my job to stop you.


5. HECTOR takes a swing at LANCER, but the mercenary ducks effortlessly below the strike.

Lancer: And that's exactly...


PAGE 14 (Five Panels)

1. Splash panel. LANCER comes up close to HECTOR, driving the blade cleanly through his abdomen and out the other side. The glowing blade pierces through the metallic shell effortlessly, like a hot knife through butter. There is no blood here, though.

Lancer: ...what I intend to do.

2. LANCER removes the blade in one motion, as HECTOR falls backwards in pain. The metallic substance begins to disappear back into his skin.

3. LANCER sheathes his sword, walking back towards SOPHIE. She isn't pleased, however. On the contrary, she's pissed.

Lancer: There you go, all taken care of.

Sophie: You weren't supposed to kill any of them! We need them alive!

4. LANCER gives a stern look, starting to get annoyed with SOPHIE.

Lancer: Relax, would ya? I didn't strike any vital organs. He'll be fine, so long as you get him to the infirmary quick.

Sophie: And the others? Did you have to be so brutal with them?

5. Gazing over his handiwork, LANCER stands above the injured and mostly motionless ESCAPEES lying on the ground around them.

Lancer: I did what ya hired me to do -- stopped an escape attempt.

Sophie: Incroyable... fine. Take them back to the storage tanks.


PAGE 15 (Five Panels)

1. SOPHIE and LANCER look back over to BRIANNA. The girl is pushing herself back up to her hands and knees, but she's shaky, weakened.

Brianna (weak): No... can't...

Lancer: Heh, looks like this one's still got some life in her.

Sophie: Guards, put her down.

2. One of the GUARDS fires a stun gun at BRIANNA, electrodes attaching squarely to her backside.


Caption (Brianna): There should be pain.

3. The electric current coursing through her body does nothing to put BRIANNA down. Instead, she starts rising back to her feet. The GUARD watches with wide eyes, utterly dumbfounded. SOPHIE shows her frustration, really beginning to get annoyed.

Guard: It... It's not stopping her!

Sophie: Well then hit her with another!

Caption (Brianna): I should be on the ground, twitchin' like kind of dyin' fish.

4. A second GUARD fires another stun gun at her, but even with two sets of electrodes pumping electricity through her body, BRIANNA will not go down.

Brianna: This has to stop...

Caption (Brianna): But there is no pain. All I feel is... a warmth.

5. Close up on BRIANNA'S eyes. They're glowing a brilliant white.

Caption (Brianna): I don't think I've ever felt so...


PAGE 16 (Splash)

Splash page. BRIANNA has undergone a radical transformation on this page. Her skin and hair has gone from dark to bright blue in color, and glows intensely. Her eyes, as on the previous panel, are glowing bright white. Miniature lightning bolts crackle all around her body, some firing out randomly through the air, forcing the nearby GUARDS, as well as LANCER and SOPHIE, to duck for cover. Also she has begun to hover several feet above the ground.

Brianna: It stops now!

Guard #1: Holy shit!

Sophie: Merde!

Caption (Brianna): ...alive.


PAGE 17 (Five Panels)

1. BRIANNA is flying much higher now, a good twenty feet in the air at least. She's looking down in shock. As it turns out, she is terrified of heights.

Brianna: Huh?

Caption (Brianna): Oh no... oh nonononono.

2. BRIANNA is in full freak out mode now, flying into a panic as she begins to rise higher in the air.

Brianna: Get me down! Somebody get me down!

Caption (Brianna): I'm flying? Why on Earth do I have to be flying?!

3. Focus on LANCER and SOPHIE here, looking on at the floating electric girl.

Sophie: Do something! Stop her!

Lancer: You first. I ain't runnin' straight into a lightnin' field.

4. BRIANNA continues her freak out, eyes shut tight now.

Brianna: Stop goin' higher! Come on! Stop goin' higher!

Caption (Brianna): I don't do heights. I hate heights. So why did I have to get stuck with flight?!

5. BRIANNA suddenly erupts with a surge of electricity, shooting out massive lightning bolts through the air. Several of these bolts strike the nearby GUARDS. Among those struck are both LANCER and SOPHIE.

Brianna: AAAHHHH!!!


PAGE 18 (Six Panels)

1. BRIANNA is back on the ground, on her hands and knees. Her appearance has returned to normal, no longer glowing blue.

Brianna: Oh thank goodness...

2. Getting back to her feet, BRIANNA looks around at the other ESCAPEES, most of whom are beginning to recover.

Brianna: Hey! Everyone alright?

3. We can see MICHAEL and CHRISTINE here, starting to get up off the ground. MICHAEL holds his gut in pain, while CHRISTINE nurses her backside.

Michael: Sure... peachy.

Christine: My back... oh my god, my back.

4. Switch over to HECTOR now. He's sitting up, inspecting his abdomen. The only sign of injury is a small, silver-colored scar across the side of his midsection. He looks utterly amazed that he' still alive.

Hector: I... I think I'm fine, actually.

5. BRIANNA looks over to REI now. REI is sitting up, looking around in surprise at all the bodies strewn about the ground.

Brianna: Rei?

Rei: I... I'm starting to feel better, yeah.

6. Close up on BRIANNA.

Brianna: Good...


PAGE 19 (Four Panels)

1. Splash panel. Shot depicting all five of the ESCAPEES wandering away from the facility and into the wilderness beyond. They're injured, limping, and in bad shape, but they're free.

Brianna: ...then let's get the bloody hell out of this place.

2. Back on the facility grounds. We're focused on the downed bodies of LANCER and SOPHIE, both unmoving for the moment. SOPHIE'S clothing is charred and torn, revealing a good bit of skin beneath.

3. LANCER is the first to recover, pushing himself up from the ground.

Lancer: Well, that was unpleasant.

Sophie: -mmph-

4. LANCER is kneeling up straight now. SOPHIE is just starting to get up, grimacing in pain. Her clothes have been shredded so much that her underwear is visible beneath.

Sophie: What happened...?

Lancer: Those kids got away, that's what happened.


PAGE 20 (Six Panels)

1. LANCER looks over at SOPHIE, leering at her with a smirk.

Lancer: That's a good look for ya.

Sophie: Eyes to yourself, Noah.

2. LANCER'S glare grows stern.

Lancer: It's Lancer while I'm in uniform, hun.

Sophie: As if I care.

3. They're both back on their feet now, brushing themselves off.

Sophie: You let them get away. Now we have five super powered children on the loose. They'll bring the police to our doorstep!

Lancer: Your own fault for givin' them super powers in the first place.

4. LANCER heads back towards the entrance to the facility. SOPHIE watches him, frowning.

Sophie: You will go after them.

Lancer: If you put up the cash, sure. Ya only paid me to guard your facility, remember. Not to go runnin' after a bunch of kids in the woods.

5. LANCER glances back over his shoulder, grinning at her.

Lancer: Better give that boss of yours a call.

6. Zoomed out shot of SOPHIE standing there, head bowed and hands on her hips.

Sophie: Merde.

Caption: To Be Continued...

#1 Posted by Ravager4 (1689 posts) - - Show Bio


#2 Posted by Joygirl (20851 posts) - - Show Bio

Awesome! All powers are finally revealed and they've escaped the naughty place... expecting a lot of fun in the next issues. So what have we got? Magnetism, phasing, steel plating/regen, electricity, forcefields. Or, Magneto, Shadowcat, Colossus, Livewire, Invisible Woman. Only better than those silly characters (though Livewire is totally sweet). Another marvelous issue!

#3 Posted by Joygirl (20851 posts) - - Show Bio

It's a bump it's a bump it's a bump it's a buuuuuump! It's a bummmmmmmmp! It's a @#$%ing BUMMMMP!!!

#4 Posted by Ravager4 (1689 posts) - - Show Bio
@Joygirl seems like you're the only one reading these xD