#1 Posted by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

Earth 2424 Black King Teth Adam

Part 1

"My name- is Teth Adam, and I - I am the chosen one. The one who will save this world, make it ultimate.

Save it from what, chosen by who? You must be wondering. But all you need to know is... I'll do whatever it takes - I will become... King. Now come here, I won't hurt you, Daniel."

.....

"Teth Adam, commonly known as Black Adam has disappeared after destroying and entire Atlantean fleet and taking a young 16 year old, Daniel Rodriguez from the coast of Cuba. An incident very similar to this happened a week ago, but to a much more - able person we all know and love. Cheetah, and she went down without much of a fight either. Incidents like this have happened all over the world, but the people taken have been random"

Now of all people, the justice league is beginning to be involved with these cases, and batman had no idea what was happening, not with all the help the JLA could give them, they have searched Egypt and Cuba for Adam, but he is no where to be found.

" I understand Batman, at least twenty people have been taken in the last five weeks. I've been doing backup research at the Daily Planet. Daniel and many other young adults have been taken, but cheetah is a plain out mystery! Are their any patterns?" Superman inquired.

The two had been at it for days at a time, other members of the league had been doing their own research of their own too. Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Flash, and Green Lantern. Still, nothing had been found out

.....

"Diana, would you please leave? Orm would not be happy to see you! Get outta here, now!"

Aqua man was cautious and angry. He had no idea what Wonder Woman was doing near Atlantis. She seemed to be expecting a long visit, as she had an underwater suit meant for long adventures. She was following some fleeing Atlanteans before Arthur stopped her.

"What are you doing here? I said lea-" The Atlantean was interrupted

" I'm here to ask you, as in the Atlantean People, how much they know about the Black Adam incident. Do you know anything about it, or Daniel Rodrig-"

"No! Now get out"

Aqua man said it to quickly and violently to be completely unknowing of it. He knew it and Diana knew it too. Diana smiled, knowing she caught on to something, and pulled out her lasso. Immediately Aquaman zoomed toward the rubbernecking Atlanteans, pulling them away. Knowing they knew something, she pursued the Atlantean group. Incredibly quickly, she dashed to the side of Arthur and jabbed his ribs. In pain, the Atlanteans were released from the grip of Aquaman. Diana wrapped the rope around a middle age male Atlantean. Asking him who Daniel Rodriguez is, and what he did.

"Danny is our greatest friend above the water" said the man, trying to struggle out of the lasso, wanting to take back his words for some strange reason Diana couldn't figure out.

"Interesting, why is he your friend, what does he do, tell me more!"

Nearly crying for what he had done, the middle aged Atlantean looked down. His greying beard used to be a bright orange, only to be a pale brown now. Battle scars tattooed his body, and he quietly said, resisting speech " He is a great kid, we've known him ever since his parents died. He has a heart of gold and saves sea creatures and support the Atlantean Kingdom," after being asked why, the greying man, with his receded hair and blue eyes looked at Diana with a cold look of hatred and fury. "Because he is the Cu-"

Arthur was back, he slammed the greying man into a pillar of stone, "shut up Ga'lan, unless you want to end up shark chum!" He grabbed the unconscious body of Ga'lan and handed him to a dolphin, who swam away holding Ga'lan by his clothes. "You know I care for the people of Atlantis, and I didn't want to do that. I had too." Denying what Arthur had said, Diana was slashed by an uppercut through a wall of sea weed. Grabbed by the ankle she was slammed through a rock pillar. Aquaman then ripped her suit open, restricting her movement and exposing her to the pressure of the deepness. Arthur then started dragging Diana down as beyond sonic speeds. Ears popping, eyes blurry, Diana was weakening. She quickly grabbed Arthur and hit him as hard as she could - below the belt. Aquaman continued to fall as Diana swam up towards the surface. Before she reached it, she saw a young Atlantean boy who put a strange device over her head that drained all water and helped her breath.

"Thank you, I was in great danger. Who are you, and can you tell me about Dani-"

"I can tell you anything you want to know. I'm Ku'ul, I'm also cool. I like racing, sports, and girls. My favorite colo-" Ku'ul was cut off by Diana's glare, telling him to get to the point. "Danny is a friend of mine, my only friend ever since I was kicked out of Atlantis. His parents were killed by a shark, Great White, who was about to eat a young Atlantean too. Something was very wrong with the shark. Arthur saw the shark, but was too far to save the baby, but Danny did. He saved me, in fact. I was very young, but I remember it exactly! Oh, how did he save the baby? That is a whole different life story.

Aquaman was still falling, but he heard every word with his amazing sense of hearing, "That outcast is trying to get back at us for shunning him! I've gotta stop him" in much pain Aquaman struggled upward. He could not let the secret out.

Ku'ul was looking up, thinking where he should begin. "Daniel had a human mom, she was a Cuban. But his dad wasn't his dad. How so? Well his mom and dad had tried to have kids for a while and it wasn't working, so the young couple prayed and prayed. Some how, an Egyptian god had a kid or was what Danny called 'Reincarnated' as a baby. Isn't that strange"

"Don't lie to me, or get off topic how did he save you, and where is he!"

"I'm not lying, he transforms into a huge Croc, and saves people and animals. He is a hero, he is - The Cuban Crocodile!" Ku'ul was barring his teeth and roaring. His stories did not amuse Diana. But surprisingly Aquaman came from below angrily yelling, "Why you little Brat!" Charging toward the boy and Diana.

Before anything could be done a flash of lightning appeared and two beings plummeted from the sky into the water.

"You lied Arthur, you said no one would know! This outcast is included! Your punishment will be served later!" Black Adam grabbed the Ku'ul, and the young boy was helpless. Diana rushed towards them only to be grabbed by Bizarro. She watched as Adam was gone - with Ku'ul - in a flash of light.

"Have fun Bizzaro, but don't play too rough, I'll see you later. Try to keep her alive though" the Chosen One was gone. Diana would never forget his harsh smile as he left and Arthur's cold, helpless expression. She was so confused, what is happening?

.....

"Clark, Teth has appeared again in Atlantis! Diana could be in trouble, this is are chance for breakthrough. Lets go!" Batman rushed to his Jet, this time he knew something was wrong, and he was bound to find out...

#2 Posted by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

What do u think?

#3 Edited by dngn4774 (2950 posts) - - Show Bio

@18hunt: Not sure what to make of it yet. There are a ton of mysterious and I liked your OC Danny but Ku'ul sounds like he might need more improvement. Looking forward to see how batman makes sense of this.

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#4 Edited by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

@Dngn4774 He is a little kid, like 7 (Ku'ul) so he acts like one, I am still working on the little kid character (never used it before) but I will get farther along with it.

#5 Edited by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

It's good. I just have a few problems. The grammar's good. Actually, a lot better than I usually see, but could use a tiny bit of improvement. It doesn't make the story harder to read, so don't worry about it too much. Another thing is you're narrating too much of the story. It's not bad to narrate what characters are thinking, but it's always good when you have a character say something. Like when Diana knew the Atlantean's "knew something", you should have Diana reveal it herself. I like though, so I'll save my judgement for the second part.

#6 Edited by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

@awesam: Thnx, I like advice I'll thought I was using too little narrating and to much talking, guess I was wrong...

So I'll try to fix this stuff thanks

#7 Edited by New_World_Order (12947 posts) - - Show Bio

Very good man !

#8 Posted by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

@thundergodswrath: thanks, have u ever thought of writing a story, maybe about Thor or Beta? I think u would rock it! :D

#9 Posted by New_World_Order (12947 posts) - - Show Bio

@18hunt said:

@thundergodswrath: thanks, have u ever thought of writing a story, maybe about Thor or Beta? I think u would rock it! :D

Yeah i'm currently working on one right now. Should be up by tomorrow ! :)

#10 Posted by dngn4774 (2950 posts) - - Show Bio

@18hunt said:

@thundergodswrath: thanks, have u ever thought of writing a story, maybe about Thor or Beta? I think u would rock it! :D

Yeah i'm currently working on one right now. Should be up by tomorrow ! :)

I think Marvel Mayhem is still recruiting if you're interested.

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#11 Posted by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

I think JRG would beast. Also, anyone have suggestions

#12 Posted by New_World_Order (12947 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774: Really? I think that's interesting. I would defiantly do it.

@18hunt said:

I think JRG would beast. Also, anyone have suggestions

Thanks !

#13 Posted by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio
#14 Posted by New_World_Order (12947 posts) - - Show Bio
#15 Edited by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

@thundergodswrath: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/earth-2424-black-king-teth-adam-2-1462831/#0

#16 Posted by New_World_Order (12947 posts) - - Show Bio

@18hunt said:

@thundergodswrath: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/earth-2424-black-king-teth-adam-2-1462831/#0

Thanks.

#17 Edited by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio
#18 Edited by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio
#19 Edited by dngn4774 (2950 posts) - - Show Bio

@18hunt said:

@dngn4774: u have part 2 yet

Sorry man I have my last final today! I'll comment and add it to the Nexus when I get home.

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#20 Posted by 18hunt (2893 posts) - - Show Bio