#1 Posted by Delek_Reap (120 posts) - - Show Bio

It was a dark and cold night. Not the kind of night you'd want to be out in when you're only a teenager, like we were. They were on our trail. They had sent after us a horrid monster, one they no doubtedly maliciously turned an innocent kid into. The name he was identified by was Hunter Croc. We had to move quickly, or he would reach us.

We ran as quickly as we could, when he appeared in front of us, jumping out of the Gotham River. He was dripping water, and his mouth was dripping saliva, from him licking his mouth in anticipation of, I assume, eating us. He readied his claws and charged right at us.

I rolled under him then backflipped, turned in midair, and grabbed onto him. Bruce threw his Batarangs, and jumped to the side. I quickly slashed at him, but then he threw me off.

He was incredibly powerful. I didn't think we'd stand a chance. But Bruce was determined, like always, to win. He threw down a smoke bomb, and charged at the still dripping wet monster, and hit him with his Battaser, which is like a merge of a taser and brass knuckles.

Hunter Croc stumbled back a bit, and fell back into the river. We didn't have much time, for he'd be back up again soon, so we ran again.

"Running. Is that all we can do?" I asked Bruce.

"It's all we can do. If we don't meet up with our contact in time we'll lose our chance to bring them down." He answered me.

He was so serious all the time. Even 7 years ago, when he was 8, he was as serious as ever. Though it's not like I'm complaining. His serious attitude is why I feel safe around him. I know I can count on him when it really matters.

We came up to a warehouse, and went in threw a window. Our contact was supposed to be inside here, but we didn't find him. Just then all of the lights flickered on, and there were a bunch of cops in front of us.

"We were set up! Looks like your contact wasn't very reliable Batboy." I said to Bruce.

"No Catgirl, Alfred would never betray me. He's on the resistance. They must have gotten to him." Bruce said.

"Well how are we going to get out of this one?" I asked him.



That's all for now folks. Tune in next time for more Batboy/Catgirl.

#2 Posted by dngn4774 (3149 posts) - - Show Bio

@delek_reap: A very good start! There really isn't much here for me to critique. I would advise taking time to lay out the scenery and emphasize more of the what the characters are feeling; you've already done this but it could be improved even more.

#3 Posted by Delek_Reap (120 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774: Okay, I'll try doing that next time.

#4 Posted by AweSam (7375 posts) - - Show Bio

That's a great start. A bit short, but first parts usually are. I especially like the narrative. It's too early to judge, so I'll wait for the next part.