#1 Edited by BaneStrokeLoboGrundyBatArrow (1394 posts) - - Show Bio

OFFICER BECK (SAMSON A. BECK)

Goddamn it's dark where the hell am I? Last I remember is... Well that cape guy or whatever getting his head blown off! Duffress where is he.... Dammit I have to remember....

OCTOBER 3RD OR THE GREAT WARS END...

Samson looked around he was sweaty from all the smoke and fires around him. He was in a collapsing apartment building looking for a young man by the name of Fringe.

"KID! Kid where'd you go!"

Samson surveyed the area for his partner Duffress. He heard his voice and turned towards his partner.

"Dammit Sam! I can't seem to find that damn rookie!"

Samson smiled at his partner. Duffress and Samson had both been in the marines where they had both served together for 9 years. They then went straight into Gothams arkham guard patrol. Now here they were on a rescue team trying to get as many citizens as they could before Luthors strike team got here. Both men weighed in at close to 250 pounds both were in peak condition and both were in there 30s. Duffress was a short African American male, while Beck a tall Caucasian bearded fellow.

"Hey Duffress when do you think the calvaries getting here!"

"Hah you mean those superpowerd freaks hopefully before that bastard Luthor does!"

Samson heard a gunshot and said,

"C'mon I bet that's the kid!"

They both ran towards the sound and exited the building just before it collapsed.

HOLY SH@$!!

Once the dust cleared Duffress and Beck looked on ahead. There they saw the crumpled body of Officer Fringe.

"No dammit who did this!"

Duffress yelled.

Just then they heard,

"SHAZAM"

And with a crack of lightning a muscular man who looked quite dazed with a tattered cape burst out of the rubble.

"SHAZAM!"

But this time it wasn't the man in the cape it was another man one with a yellow sash around his waist. He sprung out of the rubble and raised his hand up to the sky.

" SHAZAM"

A huge lightning bolt came out of the sky and struck the caped man in the head which then promptly exploded. Then everything was quiet until Samson yelled,

"Open fire on that lightening freak!"

The shots filled the sky and many hit the man but had ill effect. The man lay unscathed and Samson was out of bullets.

"Watch out!"

Duffress yelled. But it was to late.

"SHAZAM!"

JANUARY 19TH

OFFICER BECK (SAMSON A. BECK)

GAH! That's all I can remember. Great I can't remember anything else and I'm stuck in a dark room... Ow! My arm what the hell..........uhhhhhhhhh.

JANUARY 20TH

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (LEX LUTHOR)

"Is the bonding process ready to begin on project AL?"

"Yes Mister Luthor."

"Good."

I have high hopes for this project, I know this will not fail... With this new creation I can now have an enforcer in case I need to ever put down Darkseid. Oh Officer Beck you will become my greatest creation!

"Uhhhhhhhhh Mr. Luthor?"

"What?"

"Should I start?"

"You may begin."

JANUARY 20th

Lex Corps Lab

The pain for Samson was enough, his skin began growing scales purple in color. His muscle mass was increased greatly, making him weigh in to 450 pounds of almost pure muscle. His bones were then carefully laced with kryptonite, and his skull was as well. His skin then peeled off and the scales grew even faster. His teeth were bumped out and replaced with long fangs much like a crocodiles. His pupils were dilated and his whole eye became black. Small spikes grew on his arms. His spine was heightend so he reached to 7.3. His toenails were broken off and in their place grew claws. Same with his hands. His memory was deleted no wife, no sons, no daughter, no freinds. His intelligence was lowered greatly. His bloodlust was increased and so was his rage. Once the mutation process was finished. The lead scientist spoke up,

"You are our shining light a saving ark if you will if things go wrong. You are our answer to the broken link of killing.... Killing Gods and superhumans alike!"

MARCH 10TH

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (LEX LUTHOR)

"Sir he's ready.."

I walk in and see beauty before my eyes. A giant purple monster who will do my bidding. I gasp...

"Amazing...His body is like my previous failure of a project Doomsday. But his features are more of Killer Crocs, who by the way give Colorado to for his kind DNA donation."

"Yes sir.."

"Oh and Doctor, no on must no of this project understood."

"Of course sir!"

"I thought you would understand."

(Bam!)

"GAH!"

I love the sound of loyalty hitting the floor. Sorry always really get into character, and Luthor was more than obliged to give me his "script". HAH! Now how does this control panel work? Maybe Darkseid will give me extra for getting this thing! Now to change out of this form!

FORMER IDENTITY CHANGELING, NOW SHAPE-TRICKSTER

Mabye the release button?

"GRAAAAAA!"

Oh my God that things huge! No no!

"AAAAHHH!"

MARCH 10TH

LEX CORP LAB

The creature peered at the dead body at its feet.

"BROKEN..... ARK, LIGHT."

"I AM ARKLIGHT!"

The monster then went to the surgery room promptly killed all of its creators and grabbed the bandages in the supply closet. It wrapped its whole body up and jumped out a window into the cold Metropolis streets.....

#2 Posted by BaneStrokeLoboGrundyBatArrow (1394 posts) - - Show Bio

BUMP

#3 Posted by dngn4774 (3150 posts) - - Show Bio

@banestrokelobogrundybatarrow: I like what you did here. I liked the cameo's used and the way the story is coming. What happens to Samson is very tragic but it does make me sympathize with the character. Here are a few grammatical mistakes you might want to consider revising.

"Hey Duffress when do you think the calvaries getting here!"

Should be either cavalry's (short for cavalry is) or cavalries are.

"No dammit who did this!"

should insert punctuation after No to signal a pause in the character's speech.

"Amazing...His body is like my previous failure of a project Doomsday. But his features are more of Killer Crocs, who by the way give Colorado to for his kind DNA donation."

Just a little confusing. It isn't clear what you're saying about Colorado. I'd have to assume you mean Luthor gave Croc Colorado as a reward for the dna he provided.

There are still more typos but nothing to major. All and all, good work!

#4 Edited by BaneStrokeLoboGrundyBatArrow (1394 posts) - - Show Bio

dngn4774: Thank you I will edit and your comment meant alot to me thanks!

#5 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (1673 posts) - - Show Bio

@banestrokelobogrundybatarrow: This bit doesn't make sense "Amazing...His body is like my previous failure of a project Doomsday. But his features are more of Killer Crocs, who by the way give Colorado to for his kind DNA donation."

You've missed a word or something. It's good :)