#1 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Issue 2: Page 1: Panel 1: Black page. On top half a shot from last month of Jeremy, pale kid with brown hair and glasses, a button up shirt over a tee, walking alone at school. Bottom half, whit lettering giving a brief recap.

Recap: Previously, on Disc.Jeremy Adoms, son of brillian billionare scientist Maxwell Adoms, learned of his father's tragic end. Maxwell's ruined reputation, as he is called terrorist bt the local media, earns a target on Jeremy's head fro Freshmen Initiation day but is saved by his brother. Upon returning home Jeremy found a box on the pourch to him from his now dead father. And now...

Issue 2: Page 2: Panel 1: Panel opens to shot of Disc, black suited thin yet not to fit 14 year old with a metal mouth piece and colorless eyes, and Kasey, a dark skind beauty of the smae age, standing on the ruined rooftops again.

Kasey: Hello? Did you hear me?

Issue 2: Page 2: Panel 2: Kasey jabs her finger into Disc's symbol on his chest.

Kasey: I. Want. To. Go. Home.

Issue 2: Page 2: Panel 3: Disc just sits there, Kasey crosses her arms.

Issue 2: Page 2: Panel 4: Kasey throws her hands up.

Kasey: Fine you know what? I'll just walk.

Issue 2: Page 2: Panel 5: Disc grabs her hand.

Disc: Kasey, wait-

Issue 2: Page 3: Panel 1: Keasey give a small yelp and pulls her hand away.

Kasey: Eeep!

Issue 2: Page 3: Panel 2: Kasey is still a little shaken, still holding her hand to her chest.

Kasey: How do you know my name?

Issue 2: Page 3: Panel 3: Disc rubbs the back of his head.

Disc: Same way I know your favorite color is pink, you love Death Cab for Cutie and loath your mother's brustlesprout caserole.

Issue 2: Page 3: Panel 4: Kasey's eyes widen with what looks like understanding.

Kasey: Omigod... You're...

Issue 2: Page 3: Panel 5: Back to Disc.

Disc Thought Box: Now she knows who I am. She knows I'm-

Issue 2: Page 3: Panel 6: Kasey slaps Disc.

Kasey: You're a creepy stalker!

Issue 2: Page 4: Panel 1: Disc recoils.

Disc: What? No, I'm-

Disc thought box: You're what? What are you going to tell her? "No, I'm your best friend?" Do I put her life in danger for my own wants?

Issue 2: Page 4: Panel 2: Black panel agains black page.

Disc Thought Box: "No I'm Jeremy Adoms."

Issue 2: Page 4: Panel 3: Splash panel of Jeremy Fighting against some sort of Black liquid. One tail of the liquid spells out "Hypercell Inc. proudly presents: DISC"

Issue 2: Page 5: Panel 1: Liquid closes in around Jeremy's face.

Issue 2: Page 5: Panel 2: Panel is all white, buzz of a computer starting.

Voice: (O.P.) Systems Automated Maintenance: Online

Issue 2: Page 5: Panel 3: Still white panel, no more buzz.

Jeremy: (O.P.) Dad?

Voice: (O.P) What? No, I am the Systems Automated Maintenance for the Destruction Intervention Symbiotic Combat Armor, or DISC Armor.

Issue 2: Page 5: Panel 4: Shot of Disc sitting in Jeremy's room.

Disc: The what?

Voice: (from inside suit, more automated than Discs) What you're wearing.

Issue 2: Page 5: Panel 5: Disc catches a glimpse of himself in the armor.

Disc: What the hell is that? No, nonono, Jericho will be home any minute, I can't be wearing this!

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 1: Cut to Gil walking down a mainstreet, he is about 9 feet tall with spikes portruding from odd spots on his being and a long tusk coming out of his lip. People are running screaming away from him.

Disc thought box: While I was learning new things about the suit Gil was still out there.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 2: Gil sees his own reflection in a window and stops.

Gil thought box: Damn you Adoms. If you'd only given me the suit when I asked we could have avoided all this.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 3: Gil punches window.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 4: He goes for a car.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 5: He tosses the car like paper.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 6: Then goes for a tree, swining it at a lamp post like a baseball bat.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 7: Gil drops the tree and looks at his spiked hands.

Gil thought box: He ruined me.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 8: Flash of photo of Maxwell, Lisa, Jericho, and Jeremy Adoms on a desk.

Issue 2: Page 6: Panel 9: Gil smiles.

Gil: So I go after your sons.

Issue 2: Page 7: Panel 1: Disc is sitin on the roof of his two story home.

Disc: So, Sam- Mind if I call you Sam?

Sam: Yes, my name is the Syst-

Disc: So, Sam, I was thinking, can you please do another voice?

Sam: Another voice?

Issue 2: Page 7: Panel 2: Disc looks as if he's trying not to hurt Sam's feelings.

Disc: Yeah, that's kind of, you know, my dad's voice. Do you have a default or something?

Sam: Better?

Issue 2: Page 7: Panel 3: Disc looks comfortable again.

Disc: Little robotic and artifical, but yes, better. So this suit was made for "Major threats?"

Issue 2: Page 7: Panel 4: Disc stands up.

Sam: Yes, the military asked your father to-

Disc: You told me. But, just for the hell of it, show me one?

Issue 2: Page 8: Panel 1: Spalsh panel HUD View of Gil, jumping their way.

Sam: Threat Level: Major. Class: 3 threat.

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 1: Shot of Disc recoiling in terror,

Disc: What the $%&* is that?

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 2: Gil crashes down atop Disc.

Gil: Who the hell are you?

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 3: Disc crashes through the ceiling and the second floor and on to the couch, which breaks underneath him.

Disc thought box: That should hurt but I didn't feel a thing.

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 4: Disc stands up.

Disc: Funny, I could ask you the same thing.

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 5: Gil chuckles.

Gil: I'll enjoy killing you.

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 6: Gil jumps down at Disc.

Issue 2: Page 9: Panel 7: Disc rolls away.

Issue 2: Page 10: Panel 1: Gil grabs Disc's leg.

Issue 2: Page 10: Panel 2: He throws Disc into Jeremy's room.

Issue 2: Page 10: Panel 3: Disc sits up and looks at the, now pile of trash behind him.

Issue 2: Page 10: Panel 4: Disc leaps up.

Disc: Aw, man, My guitar!

Issue 2: Page 11: Panel 1: Gil is at the hole he made behind hind Dics.

Gil: So you're his brat. Good, give me the suit boy, or I'll kill you too.

Issue 2: Page 11: Panel 2: Disc whirls around.

Disc: What did you say?

Issue 2: Page 11: Panel 3: Gil holds out his hand.

Gil: Give me the suit or I kill you like I killed your father.

Issue 2: Page 12 & 13: Panel 1: Splash panel, Disc on 13 using boosters on the bottom of his feet to throw a very powerful punch. Gil reeling on 12.

Disc: WRONG ANSWER!

Issue 2: Page 14: Panel 1: Gil rubs his jaw.

Gil: For a snot nosed brat, you pack a punch, I may still have to kill you.

Issue 2: Page 14: Panel 2: Disc in defensive stance

Disc:I'm not sure if I should thank you for complement or pound your face in more. Oh, wait-

Issue 2: Page 14: Panel 3: Disc uses the boosters to launch himself higher for another blow.

Disc. I AM!

Issue 2: Page 15: Panel 1: Gil catches the fist

Gil: Not this time, boy.

Issue 2: Page 15: Panel 2: Gil slam Disc into the ground.

Issue 2: Page 15: Panel 3: Shot of Gil bringing his knee into Disc's mouth piece.

Issue 2: Page 15: Panel 4: The monster-man grabs the boy's shoulder and tosses him forward.

Issue 2: Page 16: Panel 1: Disc goes skidding across the road.

Disc thought box: That-

Issue 2: Page 16: Panel 2: The young hero hits a tree and comes to a stop

Disc thoght box: -I felt.

Issue 2: Page 16: Panel 3: Disc is pulling himself up slowly.

Disc: Sam?

Sam: Yes, Jeremy?

Issue 2: Page 16: Panel 4: A look inside the suit reveals Jeremy's nose in bleeding and cheek is bruising.

Jeremy: Any weapons in here?

Sam: Yes, but I'd have to divert the nonobots holding your armor together-

Disc: Just do it.

Issue 2: Page 17: Panel 1: Splash, Disc is grabbing his left arm, which is now a connon, as if to hold it up. What seems to be wires are flowin from his shoulder, elb, and bicepts into his wrist.

Issue 2: Page 18: Panel 1: Gil is bullrushing towards Disc.

Issue 2: Page 18: Panel 2: The cannon fires.

Issue 2: Page 18: Panel 3: Gil is knocked from his feet as the blast hits his chest.

Issue 2: Page 18: Panel 4: The cannon shuts off abruptyl kind of shot of it turning back into a liquid and flowing back into the suit.

Sam: Armor power at 10.3%

Issue 2: Page 19: Panel 1: Gil is holding his chest, blood seeping through his fingers.

Gil: I'll be back for the suit, boy.

Issue 2: Page 19: Panel 2: Gil jumps away.

Issue 2: Page 19: Panel 3: The armor shuts off.

Jeremy: Yeah well, good riddance.

Issue 2: Page 20: Panel 1: Jericho pulls into the driveway.

Issue 2: Page 20: Panel 2: He gets out of the car holding his head.

Jericho: Oh, what the...

Issue 2: Page 20: Panel 3: Jeremy strolls up behind Jericho.

Jeremy: Um, Jericho...

Issue 2: Page 20: Panel 4: Shot of the ruined house.

Jeremy: What happened to our house?

Issue 2: Page 20: Panel 5: (after a bit of a gap) Show Gil in an alleyway.

Issue 2: Page 20: Panel 6: He coughs up blood.

Issue 2: Page 21: Panel 1: Shot of the wound, its healing nicely.

Issue 2: Page 21: Panel 2: Gil slumps against a wall.

Issue 2: Page 21: Panel 3: There is something stuck to his foot.

Issue 2: Page 21: Panel 4: He pulls it away.

Issue 2: Page 21: Panel 5: He begins to laugh.

Issue 2: Page 21: Panel 6: Zoom in on the bloodstained picture of Jeremy with his arm around Kasey's shoulder.

Gil: (O.P.) Soon, child, soon.

Again, Disc is my own idea. Please leave a constructive comment I would like to see what you think.

#2 Posted by ekrolo (434 posts) - - Show Bio

Wow. its like a real comic book, liked it very much, il go back and read #1 now.

#3 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Thank you very much, sir. :)

#4 Posted by ekrolo (434 posts) - - Show Bio

@VyseCarma: But man I still cant get over how you did this, I couldnt write like this, id probably try extra hard to not fuck up then really fuck it up in the end.

#5 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

(Hey you might want to edit the f-word there) Also, I've been working on this since the 3rd or fourth grade man, its been a Long Time.

#6 Posted by ekrolo (434 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol same here, I had my own series in the back of my head since 2007, not as long as you but its nice to have the opportunity to share your story with other people no?

#7 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Exactly! now if only I can find an artist, lol.

#8 Posted by ekrolo (434 posts) - - Show Bio

Thats not gonna happen.... I wish we could but thats a very big rarity here.

#9 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

So I have a question, should I keep the little teasers between Jeremy and Kasey at the front even if they event she keeps talking about happens in like #6? Even if it means you get a glimpse at the future until #6 when it happens?

#10 Posted by ekrolo (434 posts) - - Show Bio

Its good for build up and adds some tension like WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT??!?!?!? I MUST KNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know that kinda stuff lol.

#11 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

I think the main thing is, should I show a major plot point that really doesn't happen cannonly until after #6 or when ever I feel like doing it.

#12 Posted by ekrolo (434 posts) - - Show Bio

Dont just say what happens, try to put a spin on it so people guess weather or not is true, if youre going to just straight up say what happens then stop foreshadowing.

#13 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

I'll just leave it for the issue it happens in.

#14 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh and Hey and whomever stumbles on this...

More concept art! Gil, left. Disc, right although I didn't make Gil spikey here.

#15 Posted by primepower53 (5686 posts) - - Show Bio

@VyseCarma: I like it!

#16 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Thank you.

#17 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

More concept art: Kasey "Kay" Grant

#18 Posted by GR2Blackout (2564 posts) - - Show Bio

EPICNESS AT ITS BEST. THAT IS WHAT THIS IS.

#19 Posted by VyseCarma (259 posts) - - Show Bio

Thank you