Death Gets Recruited

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Edited By cbishop

RANKED 1st BY VOTERS IN CHARACTER CREATION CONTEST #40!

DateCB 1-ShotsViewRead the...
09/30/15Death Gets Recruited(Blog) (Forum)Disclaimer
RatingRating explanation
T+Sex discussed, sexual harassment, killing.

"I'm telling you he's the best man for the job," Button said simply. Dressed in black pants, long sleeved black shirt, and even black gloves, she sat in a very small conference room, hardly big enough for the conference table, which seated only eight. There was only walking room around the table- four feet on the long sides, six feet on the ends- and the walls were a dull metal, making it feel like they were having their meeting in a large elevator. There were only three other people in the room.

Amelia Earhart sat at the head of the table
Amelia Earhart sat at the head of the table

Amelia Earhart sat at the head of the table. A descendant of a relative of course, but she had a set of wings pinned to her dress, in obvious acknowledgement of her heritage. Joy marveled at how much she favored the aviatrix. Even the hair was similar, as was the easy, amused smile.

Conversely, pacing at the other end of the table was Albert Ross. He had black, feathery hair with streaks of white, and a perpetual scowl. He was looking at the file for Joy's candidate, and wasn't liking it at all. "Come on, Joy! This guy? He's a joke!"

Amelia spoke up, "I can assure you he is not. I have seen this man as the demise of many men over the last twenty years."

Sitting across from Joy, a man with a bald head and a hint of boredom in his voice added, "He wouldn't even be in prison if he hadn't turned himself in. He had never been caught."

"Oh get off it, Principal!" shouted Ross. "His file says he killed a man in prison by asphyxiation! What'd he do? Smother his cellmate with a pillow? Please!"

"I'd prefer if you addressed me as General," stated Principal. "And the man in prison was just the latest in a long line of victims. This man is a stone killer. He's taken dozens of contracts over the years, all of them completed, no traces left behind."

"Pfft," scoffed Albert. "'No traces?' Then how do we know who all he's killed?"

"We don't," answered the general. "We only have his word for it. He confessed to every murder-for-hire he's ever done when he gave himself up. The dates and circumstances matched up to several unsolved murders, some of them high profile, and numerous 'accidents' that weren't thought to be killings."

Ross was quiet for a couple of seconds while he lifted a sheet on the file. Less angry, but still clearly perturbed, he asked, "He called himself 'Fling?' Really?"

Joy smiled sheepishly, "Um, that's my fault actually." Albert gave her a shocked look, but clearly expected her to continue. "Randy and I..."

The General smiled at this, clearly interested.
The General smiled at this, clearly interested.

"Randy?" Ross interrupted, rolling his eyes.

"Randy and I have a history," Joy continued, "from our time together in the military, but it was brief. We took liberty together while on assignment. When it was over, I told him he was a 'just a fling.' He took it personally- used it as his codename for awhile, trying to rub salt in a wound that didn't exist for me."

"That's kind of heartless," said Ross.

"Why? Because my attitude towards sex is the same as most guys'?" rebutted Button. "I have a lot of sex, Mr. Ross."

The General smiled at this, clearly interested.

"It's a means to an end for me," she said, "and it's rarely special." Looking directly at the general, she added, "I find that most men are pigs."

The general stopped smiling. Then he added, "It should be noted that 'Fling' isn't the only name he had, although it's the only one he ever used. To those who knew of the black ops missions that he and Miss Button were on, he was known by a very different name."

"Oh? I can't wait to hear this one," said Ross, "What did they call him?"

"'Death,'" answered Earhart, "and it was never a joke."

"And you would know that because...?"

"I was his handler," said Amelia, taking Ross by surprise. "Peter," she said, "will you please bring Mister O'Phayre in?"

The general got up to do as asked. Joy noted to herself that he didn't object to how he was addressed that time. Returning, he motioned for the man to sit down in his chair, while he remained standing by the door.

O'Phayre shuffled around the table in full cuffs- wrist-to-wrist, ankle-to-ankle, both connected to a belt around his waist. As he did so, his eyes never left Joy. As he sat down, he said, "Snatch. It's been a long time."

"Um, 'Snatch?'" asked Ross.

"My codename, from after the military," answered Joy. "My specialty was infiltration, which I've used as a thief, which is why I'm here. And as I told you, I have a lot of sex. It seemed to fit."

Albert raised his eyebrows, then shook his head lightly. "Okay, then. Just one more felon to add to this little mission. General," he said with emphasis and clear disdain, "bring in Mister Mercy, please."

O'Phayre's head snapped up at Ross when he heard that name. He looked to the door. Principal was already coming back in, motioning for the new man, cuffed in the same manner, to take the seat next to Randy. "Killerg!" Randy said through gritted teeth.

Mercy just sneered. Sitting down, he looked across the table and said, "Snatch."

"Noah," she returned. Ross just looked at her. Joy shrugged and started, "I..."

"...'have a lot of sex,'" finished Ross. "I know. Keep it in your pants this time. We need you all focused. Mercy's electrical powers are going to be needed for this."

Randy took a deep breath, jaw clenched, then asked, "And what is 'this?'"

"Dangerous," Earhart said plainly, "completely off the books, and comes with a full pardon for all past crimes, up to completion of the mission."

"Once you say you're in, you're in until it's done," said Ross.

O'Phayre seemed to be considering.

"The offer's just a formality," said Principal from his place by the door. "You're in."

Randy looked at him for a second, then nodded. "Fine. Just to be clear though- full pardon? All crimes forgiven up to completion of mission? That's the deal?"

Amelia nodded.

Looking at Joy, he said, "And you're in on this too?"

"I actually did volunteer," she said. "A clean record is too good to pass up."

Turning to Noah, he said, "And you? How come you're here? Why not just use your powers to blast your way out?"

Killerg winced as he shifted his chains, pointing to a thick, black plastic ring around his neck. "It's this damned inhibitor collar," he said. "Puts a blasted needle in my brain that keeps me from using my powers until a remote disarms it."

"Hurts, does it?" asked Randy.

"Like blazes it d..."

Before he could finish, Randy threw his head sideways, butting Mercy in the mouth. Getting to his feet, he caught Noah's head under his arm as he lunged forward from his seat. Locking down tight, he twisted right and allowed himself to fall into the floor, snapping Killerg's neck as he did so.

Ross and Principal were on him immediately, jerking him to his feet and throwing him forward onto the table. "What the hell, O'Phayre?" demanded Ross.

"I never liked him," answered Randy, "and I promised I'd kill him if I saw him again."

"I told you we needed his powers!" shouted Ross, his arm pressing Randy's head against the table.

O'Phayre chuckled. "Then I suggest you get us some tasers instead."

Ross threw Randy back in his seat as the general returned to his spot by the door. "Dammit!" shouted Ross.

Walking over behind Joy, the general placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed gently. "Why don't you try cooperating like Miss Button," the nicety in his voice strained by agitation.

His hands started to slide inward before Joy caught his wrists in a surprisingly strong grip. "General, while I do have a lot of sex, I'm very particular about being touched. If you so much as brush my neck with your finger, I will be forced to kill you. Are we clear?" she asked, as she very stiffly and sternly removed his hands.

Dropping his resistance so she'd let go, the general rubbed his wrists, and looked at Earhart.

"Don't look at me, general. You were out of line. Do something like that again, I'll see to it that you lose your stars. Now get out."

The group was silent for a minute as the general continued to rub his wrists. He looked to the other two men in the room, who both stared back in silence. Finally, he straightened his cuffs, then his jacket, and left the room.

"O'Phayre, you're in. Try to refrain from killing anyone else we may add to this mission. Albert..."

"Albert?" Randy interrupted, sneering at Ross.

"Albert, please show Mister O'Phayre to his quarters. Mister O'Phayre," she said firmly, "behave."

Randy smirked, stepping on Killerg rather than over him, but left with Ross.

"Miss Button, are you okay?" asked Amelia.

"I'm fine," she said, still seething.

"You handled him very gently, all things considered."

Joy looked a little shocked. "I'm not in trouble then?" she asked.

"In trouble?" Amelia laughed. "No." Leaning towards Joy, she whispered conspiratorily, "I'd have killed him with a kiss."

"With a kiss? Poison lipstick? Is that really a thing?" asked Joy.

Earhart smiled. "Something like that. Come on, let's get you back to your quarters."

Joy got up to follow and two soldiers entered to remove Killerg's body. Looking over her shoulder as they left the room, Amelia said, "I've got to requisition some tasers."

Please let me know what you think, and thanks! -cbOriginally Presented In: CCC #40.

Story and characters owned by Chris Bishop, copyright 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022.

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#1  Edited By cbishop
OC Names:
Characters:
  • Button, Joy (Snatch)
  • Earhart, Amelia
  • Mercy, Noah (Killerg)
  • O'Phayre, Randy (Death; Fling)
  • Principal, General Peter
  • Ross, Albert
Objects:
  • Inhibitor Collar
Comic Characters used in this fic:

Non-Fiction:

Picture credits:

GIS = Google Image Search.

PictureCredit
  • Amelia Earhart sat at the head of the table
  • "I'd have killed him with a kiss."
Amelia Earhart pics found via GIS. They can be found on multiple websites.
  • "I'd prefer if you addressed me as General."
  • The General smiled at this, clearly interested.
  • "The offer's just a formality. You're in."
  • "Why don't you try cooperating like Miss Button."
  • "Don't look at me, general...Now get out."
I had used Reginald VelJohnson in the contest entry, but replaced him here with actor Chi McBride. Simply put: I needed enough pictures of the same person with the right facial expressions to represent my character. I found more of CM than anyone else. Yeah, yeah, I know the clothes don't match from picture to picture-meh. He's not exactly how I pictured the character, and the character is certainly not how I picture Chi McBride- it's just another role. Pics found via GIS. As he's a celebrity, his pics are everywhere.
No Caption Provided

This was the Reginald VelJohnson pic used in the contest entry. Again, an actor whose pics are everywhere, I found this via Google Image Search. I don't think I've ever seen him play a villainous role, but I could more picture him making the facial expressions needed for the General. Unfortunately, I just couldn't find any pictures of that online. My story's loss. :)

CCC #40 comments for Death Gets Recruited:
CommentWho
Cbishop gets my vote.TommytheHitman
...Honorable mention : cbishop also had a really good story and cool characters.stumpy49er
Thanks guys. Much appreciated. :)cbishop
batkevin in 1st, cbishop runner up and if batkevin fails to perform his miss universe duties will be stripped of my points and those awarded to cbishop4donkeyjohnson
My vote goes to cbishop, well done everyonebatkevin74
batkevin74: Woot! Thanks! :)cbishop
I vote cbishopRenzoa
Contest is now deadlocked between batkevin74 and cbishop. Next vote will determine out weinerImpurestCheese
Thanks, Renzoa. :)cbishop
dude you got me on Amelia Earhart. im like i should vote for himRenzoa
Yeah, she's a favorite. :)cbishop
What are we voting on? Who has the best story? It says 'character creation' but these are stories and it's hard to tell who the new characters are supposed to be.oldcontinuity
All the characters should be new here. But to narrow it down, they just need a tie-breaker vote between Batkevin and Cbishop.wildvine
cbishop, then.oldcontinuity
And we have a victor, congrats cbishopImpurestCheese
the voting is done? well... I was gonna say cbishop but that doesn't mater now.Dygoboy

Congrats cbishop

Looking forward to the next contest.

stumpy49er

Oh no, I missed it...:[ Well, congrats cbishop...

artistsupreme

Thanks, all! :^D

cbishop
.Fic-O-Pedia: cbishop. (My library of fics)Fic #101

Thanks for stopping in! :^D

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#2  Edited By cbishop

The Origins Behind the Origins (or how some of these characters got their names):

Ross, Albert

wordplay: "albatross." This is my version of Marvel's Henry Peter Gyrich- the pain-in-the-rump agent-in-charge that everyone loves to hate. Pretty much, everyone is stuck with him.

Principal, General Peter

wordplay: "general principle[s]; Peter Principle." The Peter Principle was a book written as satire that was eventually held to be true. It basically says that a competent employee will continue to be promoted until they are in a position for which they are incompetent, because they don't have the skills for it.

That's the character- Peter Principal has been promoted to general, and he's an incompetent a-hole in this role. As displayed in this story, his sexual harassment alone should get him busted back to private.

Mercy, Noah (Killerg)

wordplay: "no mercy/ killer/ erg." A villain with power over electricity.

O'Phayre, Randy (Death; Fling)

wordplay: "randy affair," and slang for "affair" being "fling." Death is his official name. Basically, I've made a few passes at coming up with my own Deathstroke. I tried for cool names, and finally thought: we spend so much time trying to come up with something cool for an assassin that also sounds scary. What if the guy was just so scary that his codename was just Death? So, that's who he is- Death.

But... can he really be that perfect at it? On closer inspection, we'll probably find him to be a bit more human, but... he doesn't have the rep for no reason.

He called himself Fling to taunt Snatch after she dumped him.

Button, Joy (Snatch)

wordplay: "joy button; snatch." These are (obviously) sexual slang terms- "snatch" being slang for "vagina," and "joy button" for either "clit" or "g-spot." There's a reason she has these names.

First: she's a thief, so "snatch" has a second meaning. She's one of the best- like Catwoman-level, but in more practical gear, like Tomb Raider's or Mission Impossible's.

Joy has a problem though: she stole something that has caused her to suffer a curse - anytime she touches someone, they switch bodies, and the only way to get back to her body is for one of them to die. Getting back to her body has left a few bodies in her wake.

However, she eventually finds a loophole to the curse. That is: if death is the way back, then what about "the little death" - a euphemism for "orgasm." So, if the two have sex while switched, and can get to orgasm, they switch back with no physical harm done. So, now you should understand why I gave her the name Joy Button.

I have a whole list of characters named for sex-wordplay that are part of her story. Initially, it's just because I don't discard ideas. Even if it seems silly or preposterous, and even if I think I'm unlikely to write it, I keep it. I've just learned that I never know if an idea might come in handy down the road. With the sex-names, it's also because I've wondered if I can write erotica, and if I can write erotica with a good story to it. So far, the answer is no, because I haven't done anything besides compile the names.

Obviously, I won't be writing erotica on Comic Vine- it's against the site rules. So, I'll be writing around it here. If Joy gets to the point in a story where she gets switched out of her body (and of course she will) then the two will go off by themselves, and come back switched back to their bodies- no erotica involved.

And honestly? I'm not comfortable with that kind of story anyway. I'm no prude- I just don't want to write it. So, my plan has always been to write around it.

Inhibitor Collar

I needed something that could block powers for this story. Powers has "drains," which are basically lights that block powers. It's a nice, clean idea, but it makes no sense how it would work. Not that it has to- it's comic book science, and we can just accept that, but... okay, some things I have a harder time accepting than others.

So, it seems more likely to me that something would have to come in contact with the powered individual to administer something that blocks powers. A collar that puts a needle in them seemed easy enough, so now we have inhibitor collars. I haven't used it in a story yet, but since the inhibitor is something administered by needle, it's likely there's a dart gun version of this, like Erik Larsen's Freakout weapons.

That's all for now! Thanks for reading. :^D

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ImpurestCheese

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Hmm very good, always love to see what you come up with

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cbishop

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@impurestcheese: Thanks. I definitely want to continue this one. Got a few other things to get out of the way first though. :)

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No Caption Provided

Dec 24, 2023: Found on Facebook. It of course reminded me of this story with Amelia Earhart in it. :)