**Rated MA, all characters owned by DC Comics, and apologies to the film Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid***
“Little help!” yelled Tad Trigger, as he jammed his pistol into the doorway and let off a volley into the undead mass that pressed against it. His brother Tom, Brainwave and Psycho Pirate pressed themselves against the door, slamming it shut. Tad wedged a chair under the handle.
“Now what?” yelled Psycho Pirate as he paced the floor, rubbing his temples trying to stimulate an idea.
“We need to get out of the city” said Brainwave
“Well $#!+!” exclaimed Tom pushing his hat up with the barrel of his revolver “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Don’t push me cowboy!” warned Brainwave through gritted teeth.
“Don’t go threatening my brother” said Tad levelling his weapon at Brainwave “You may have powers, but are you really that fast?”
“ENOUGH!” yelled Psycho Pirate “We’re all in this together”
“Not ev’ryday four bad guys turn up to the same bank trying to rob it,” commented Tom Trigger as he spun his revolver round and round on his finger “Tad and I have an excuse; we’re brothers!”
Brainwave sucked in a lungful and cricked his neck “Are you inferring that the city full of zombies is somehow OUR fault!”
“Coincidence s’all” replied Tom holstering his weapon.
“How do we get out of this?” said Psycho Pirate, more a vocal thought than to anyone in particular.
“Well you two got super powers,” said Tad “Super them away from the door so we can get the hell on outta here!”
Psycho Pirate and Brainwave looked at each other, then the floor and then around sheepishly.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you?” asked Tom stepping closer to the pair.
“Our powers don’t work on them!” cried Brainwave “His powers run on emotions and dead people don’t have them! My powers work on brains and these things want to eat brains, not use them”
“So what you’re saying…” Tad smiled
“What we’re hearin,” added Tom
“Is that yur both pretty useless when it comes to fightin’ zombies!” Tad folded his arms and gave them both a look of pity, mixed with patronisation.
“I could make you bawl your eyes out!” growled Psycho Pirate, his hand inching towards the mask on his belt.
“And I could wipe your minds clear of all conscious thought”
Tom smiled “Or you both could just shut up!”
They all looked at the door of the church bell tower as it creaked under the strain. Seemed the horde on the other side weren’t going away.
“Whose idea was it to run up here anyways?” asked Brainwave
Tad raised his hand “That’d be mine”
“Why’d you follow us?”
“Because you seemed to know where you were going!” said Brainwave who stopped and looked at him and smiled “You thought the church would protect you didn’t you?”
“…no” replied Tad sheepishly
“I could pry the answer from your mind”
“And I could put a bullet tween yur eyes mister!” Tad drew his weapon with lightning speed, finger poised over the trigger
“Okay time out!” said Psycho Pirate grabbing Brainwave and hauling him to the far side of the bell tower, Tom taking his brother to the other.
“We should just turn them against each other,” whispered Brainwave to Psycho Pirate “You make them feel guilty, I hit them with a brain blast, and we take their guns!”
Psycho Pirate smiled “That’s not a bad idea, but since you’ve shared it, what’s to stop you turning on me?”
“You’ll just have to trust me, won’t you” replied Brainwave as he nodded politely to them, smile on his face.
“What’ya think their talking bout Tom?”
“Probably how they’re gonna killin us, I guess” replied Tom as he gazed down to the street. A sea of undead people, as far as the eye could see “Looky at all this craziness! I seen riots before, but this is biblical!”
“Amen brother!” said Tad crossing himself with his revolver “So what we gonna do about them two?”
“I say give what they want”
“No!” scoffed Tom as he drew his gun and held it carefully like one held a dirty, stinky nappy “Just follow my lead” Tom and Tad walked across towards them.
“What are you up too?” asked Brainwave suspiciously.
“We’re splittin up,” said Tom extending the gun to them “And bein’ gentlemen, we’re givin’ you a weapon so you’ve got a fightin’ chance since yur powers are, well useless!”
“Do you know what you’re doing?” asked Tad as he slid up to his brothers’ shoulder.
“Theoretically” replied Tom with a wink “Get the door will you”
Tad fired his weapon, breaking the leg of the chair with a trio of bullets. The door flew open and in poured a dozen, ravenous zombies into the small space. Tom and Tad jumped up to the window ledges as the dead overwhelmed the two super villains.
“You #$%!&^ bastards!” roared Brainwave as he tried to activate his powers but the zombies ripped, bit and clawed at him.
“Help me!” screamed Psycho Pirate as he fumbled with his mask under the bulk of hands and teeth. Tad and Tom looked at each other, shrugged and then each fired a shot into Psycho Pirate; each bullet entering an eye and putting the master of emotions into an early but merciful grave. They looked at Brainwave who struggled against the swarm, bits of flesh flying.
“Should we?” asked Tad
“Nah!” laughed Tom “He called us names. Alright, I'll jump first”
“Then you jump first”
“No, I said!”
“What's the matter with you Tad?”
“I’m scared Tom. All them zombies”
Tom smiled and took his brothers hand “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you”
and others who are involed in DC Zombies :)