#1 Edited by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't own the characters or stories in which this is based upon.

Rating: T

The Possessor of the Helm Pt. 1

Location: The moon Ichon in a galaxy far from earth, or any planet for that matter. It floats alone in a sector of space largely unexplored by any race other than the ones living upon the moon.

Time: A few days before the enlightenment.

An old man, dressed in lavish blue robes with golden runic inlay, spoke sternly and with purpose. "Kentor, your place amongst our people is that of the artificer. You must fulfill your duty no matter the circumstances less you no longer wish to be among us." Kentor stood alone at a podium decorated with the same runic drawings, his face conveying a frustration that seemed to have been building for some time now. He was trying to convince the head of the triumvirate, a group of elders who governed the people of Ichon, that they were under attack by a being of absolute subtlety. "I'm telling you, I have the readings the prove it. Someone has been killing our people and they are using the fabric of time as a weapon. I'm sure of it. Just let me show...." The old man stood and bellowed "Enough! I will not suffer your madness any longer! You have proven nothing and have wasted the time of all involved. Get back to your work or you shall be shipped away to die among the aborigines. Guards, escort Kentor back to his workshop and seal him in until nightfall." and with a wave of the man's hand, Kentor was dragged back to where he must develop his devices.

"They just don't understand, these temporal inconsistencies have lead to several murders all over our moon. If only that old codger Kilmos would pry the gunk from his canals and just bring some attention to this." Kentor began working on a sphere capable of increasing the distance in which the small frequency communicators would operate with each other. "Most likely to be used in a military capacity, seems the only thing they care about nowadays."

Time: Late that night.

"They still won't let me leave, I may just have to sleep here. No way will I finish this tonight." Kentor worked tirelessly, his head cloudy with the thoughts of sleep, but it seemed to be of no avail. He stood up from his chair and turned towards the door to try and talk his way out but was confronted with something he couldn't explain.......literally. He opened his mouth to speak but the words escaped him, all of them. A man surrounded by an aura of bright energy stood before him stoically, his beard short but defined, and his eyes conveyed the essence of stars and the vastness of space. Kentor couldn't believe what he saw, maybe he was too deprived of sleep to be thinking clearly but no matter how many times he rubbed his eyes the man didn't disappear. Instead the man spoke, his voice carrying a weight so heavy it nearly knocked Kentor to the floor but eerily quiet enough to not alert the guards outside. "Kentor of Ichon, you have been delving into a realm of science not well known by those who inhabit the outskirts of the universe. It shows a potential in your people ignored by my peers. I am scientist of sorts myself and have been in confrontations with my own people almost in the same way you have with yours. Sometimes you poke into thinks others would rather remain undiscovered. But I digress because in your studies you have uncovered something that might change your people forever. Their fate is in your hands."

Time: The next morning.

Kentor awoke, he had seemed to have fallen asleep on the floor of his workshop. His head was pounding and his eyes blurry "I must of been dreaming the whole thing last night, maybe Kilmos is right. Maybe I've been too distracted by all this studies. But that doesn't matter right now, I need to finish my...." as Kentor was finishing his sentence he turned to his table only to discover that his machine he hadn't finished was not only done but replicated a dozen times. He quickly examined the devices. "Even the design is different, it's more advanced than I could of done in months let alone a night..............I am being manipulated........possibly the entirety of my people as well. Now I just need to find out who or what is doing this and why me.....why us. Sorry Kilmos, you're going to need a new artificer"

#2 Posted by SteveMcQueen36 (243 posts) - - Show Bio

Very nicely done! I like this Doctor Fate idea. I can't wait to read more!

#3 Posted by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

Thank you. I see this story escalating rather quickly.

#4 Edited by TommytheHitman (3602 posts) - - Show Bio

Really well done! Here's a suggestion to get more views. Just shorten the title down to DC Reinvented Dr Fate. It does help get views.

#5 Posted by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

That sounds like a good idea, thanks.

#6 Posted by SteveMcQueen36 (243 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah you can put the subtitle at the top of the story.

#7 Edited by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

I'll edit it when I get off work later.

#8 Posted by dngn4774 (3833 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd love to see your take on some classic Doctor fate villains, but this is nice.

#9 Posted by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

I definitely will touch upon Mordru for sure but who else would like to see?

#10 Posted by dngn4774 (3833 posts) - - Show Bio

@humannumber: Wotan, The other Lords of Chaos, Anti-Fate, and really any magic based OC's that you can come up with.

#11 Posted by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

I have some pretty wicked ideas for the Lords of Chaos.

#12 Posted by NeonPheonix (650 posts) - - Show Bio

@humannumber:

this was super cool way better than my fan-fic threads

#13 Posted by HumanNumber (1453 posts) - - Show Bio

@neonpheonix:

Thank you, I read your first fan-fic and i thought some of the ideas were interesting and the story sounded cool. It was a tough read but i think you'd have some great stuff if you take your time and polish things.

#15 Posted by cbishop (7680 posts) - - Show Bio

This is a good start, but the paragraphs where more than one person is speaking need to be broken up. Only one person's dialogue should be in each paragraph.