The Rogues code #3; Never blame it on someone else.
"No, you just don't understand, my dear. It's not a mater of money. I just don't want to take this job. You must take care of Icon yourself, I have clients in Metropolis. YES, I know what happened to Kobra. But let's be honest here; whoever you send after me will come crying back to your "legion" wearing nothing but their boxers."
RIIIING!!!
"Sorry, Roulette, but I have business to attend to. Cheerio!" He turned off his cellphone, and found his preferred red polka-dot tie, getting ready for another days work.
Oswald Loomis had once been the host of "Goodnight Metropolis," the most popular TV-show in the Big Apricot. The show had been a smashing success after he was hired, due to the many tricks he played on the guests. He always got the guests with their pants down, sometimes even literally. Everyone remembered when Bruce Wayne was sent trough a trap door.
But as time passed, Loomis became a bit to... extreme for the producers. After the utter humiliation of Cyborg, San Francisco's first superhero, he was fired.
After that, he sough revenge, but was foiled by the Man Of Steel. But it wasn't for nothing. He now realized his true talent: Annoying people. He was born to disturb, to make chaos. Prank was an art when he did it. He decided to become a disturber for hire, and in a city like Metropolis, the only way to commit a crime without worrying about Big Blue coming after you was to have a huge and colorful distraction in the other end of town.
Some called him a madman. Many called him egomaniac. A few called him a genius.
And now he received a whole new title.
"Fruitcake..."
"Oh, come now. That insult is as outdated as Vanilla Ice." The Prankster said with a cocky smile. "Pun intended, dear Captain."
"Shut up, and get me down from here." Captain cold was hanging in the air due to a rubber rope tied around his waist. He was wearing a pair of enormous underpants with the word "sucker" written on them.
"Oh, don't be such a party-pooper. GIRLS!" Three women dressed as piccolos helped Cold down. "Now, Captain Cold... How can I be of service to you? Surprised that a bloke like you has business in Metropolis."
"I don't." Cold sat down on a chair that one of the women brought him. He looked around in the room that he had entered after falling through the trap-door in the joke-shop. It had similarity to a movie-set. On the walls hang pictures of the Marx Brothers and other classic comedians. When Cold was looking for Prankster, he had hoped that he would be like the Trickster. Obviously, he was wrong. The guy was obsessed with his gimmick like so many other super-villains. "I need information."
"Aw..." Prankster stopped smiling. "that's no fun at all... I'm a bother-artist for hire, not a detective."
"True, but I have heard that you one of the reasons to why you are so good at what you do is because you know everything that's going on in this town, right?"
"True that... Ah, thanks girls!" The piccolos came in with a tea cart, and started serving them. "I have surveillance cameras all over town. Luthor can't pick his nose without me knowing it. I also have access to files and such in order to read up everyone's history. A little knowledge can make all the difference in a prank, like whatever someone is scared of spiders. Or allergic to cats." Prankster started to giggle, as he took a sip from his cup of tea.
"... Yeah... Anyway, I need to know everything you can get me about a woman named Lisa Snart. I will pay you whatever you want."
"Hmm..." Prankster tilted his head. "Is this woman important to you?"
"The money I'm paying ya says; None of your damn business."
"I will take that as a yes... Cold, I've made up my mind; I don't want your money."
"WHAT?!"
"It is your talent that I need."
"Forget it! I'm not gonna help you fight Superman. I like not being in jail, thank you very much."
"Well, I guess you could contact the police or such i you want to find this Lisa Snart... And then you will most definitely end up in the slammer, eh?" Prankster's stupid smirk was starting to irritate Cold.
"... What's the job?"
The next day...
Total chaos. No other way could the situation in Bessolo Boulevard, as all the people on the street ran like headless chickens, trying to crap as many dollar-bills as possible, as they rained down from heaven. They realized rather quickly that they were phony, but then it was too late, as they were gliding around on banana peels that came from the sewers, filling up the streets.
"Gooooooooodmorning, Metropolis!!!" The Prankster came flying in a Cuckoo clock plane. "Isn't it a fine day to be, dare I say it... pranked?!"
The police arrived(duh) but to little use, as the trap door opened, and a huge sunflower came out of the clock-like plane and drenched them in glue. And then, the star of the show finally arrived.
"Prankster!!!"
"Superman!" The Prankster said delighted. "Nice of you to stop by. How's every little thing?"
"Whatever you are up to, it stops now. I'm taking youuuUUUAAAHHH!!!!"
A huge hand came out of the trap-door. It had a joy-buzzer attached to it and zapped the Man Of Steel. It couldn't hurt him, really. But it did surprise him. Startle him.
"You caught me by surprise... Won't work twice..."
"Oh, but that's what I have a hostage for." The Prankster pressed another button, and out of the trap-door, a man tied up and with taped shut was sent lying through the air. Superman flew after him and grabbed him(like he always did),and made sure that he was safely putted down on the ground and untied him.
"Are you alright, sir?" Superman asked as he removed the tape. The man nodded. The Prankster had managed to get a head start, but with Superman's speed, he would soon capture the Prankster, and...
KRNNG!!!
Superman was caught in a block of ice from the shoulders and down. Normally, this would't be a problem for the Man Of Steel who in moments would be free again. But it felt like something was... holding him back. And it wasn't the ice.
"Got him!" The man who Superman had just saved said as he was adjusting his earpiece, holding his cold-gun in the other hand. "Beam me up, or whatever, and let's get outta here! The cold-field I've caught Big Blue in won't keep him for long! ... Wait, what are you... AW, WHAT THE F-"
SPLAT!!!
........
"WHAT the HELL is wrong with you?!"
"Well, I have diabetes, but I don't think that's what you meant when..."
"You told me that I had to freeze Sups so that we could get away!"
"And we did, didn't we?"
"You threw a cake in his face!!!"
"I know, right? It will make me go down in history, don't you think?"
"... Look, just give me what I need, so I can get the f%ck away from your smug, stupid face."
"Oh, you are no fun... Marjorie!" One of the piccolo girls came with a folder and gave it to Cold. "This is all I could find about this Miss Snart."
"... Are the unicorns really necessary?" Cold looked at the cover of the folder.
"No." Prankster answered cheerfully. "Have a nice day, Captain. Marjorie will show you the way out."
As Cold left, Prankster was given an envelop by one of the girls.
"Splendid!" Prankster said as he had read the letter inside. "To work, ladies, to work! We have a new client! I want full schedule of metro activities, Monday through Wednesday. Weather projections, traffic patterns, and of coarse; we must, as always, keep an eye on Clark Kent."
To be continued...
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