#1 Edited by Veitha (4108 posts) - - Show Bio

You can find the prologue here: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/dark-x-men-prologue/700361/#3

Chapter 1

Scott Summers lay on the floor in his Ruby Quartz cell.

Red.

Everything he could see was red.

Everything in his life was red.

Red like the flames of the Phoenix.

Red like the hair of the woman he once loved.

Red like the blood in his hands.

And now red like the cell he was supposed to spend most of his life.

But he was happy, after all he was right. The Phoenix had repowered the mutankind and finally their race was saved from the extinction.

He was right. And now he would pay because of this. And because of the crimes he had committed… the crimes the Phoenix had committed. It has happened the same thing that has happened years ago. The Phoenix Force had destroyed his life. But now, for the first time, he was grateful to it.

– We’re saved – he muttered to himself. – We’re finally saved –.

He was willing to pay if from this depends the salvation of his race. He was proud to pay.

BOOM!

Scott jumped up. What was that noise?

He glanced the wall in front of him, noticing a crack in the wall.

Immediately he put his hand on his visor, without finding the button to open it.

Oh right, he thought. That visor didn’t allow him to blast anything. It was his chain.

The crack on the wall started growing. In a few seconds it became larger and larger until it covered the entire wall, which started falling apart.

BOOM!

The Ruby Quartz exploded in a storm of red splinters and the wall collapsed.

Behind the rubble, Scott saw a shining silhouette.

– Good evening, Summers. I hope you’re happy to see me.

Scott boggled. He couldn’t believe she was there.

– Emma?

– Who else, darling?

Emma Frost moved toward Scott in her beautiful diamond form, with the white mantle that waved over her body.

– What are you doing here? – said Scott.

– I’m saving you, dear. Wait a minute, please – replied Emma while she put her diamond fingers on Scott’s visor and, with a light pressure, broke it in a few moments. Then she removed the helmet and she gave to Scott a pair of Rubin Quartz sunglasses. He immediately put them on.

– You shouldn’t be here. The Avengers… – tried to say Scott but Emma interrupted him:

– They won’t come, Scott. – She explained. – I’m not alone. Erik and Danger are using their powers to manipulate the telecommunications and I used my powers to stop the telepathic communications. No one will ever know that we are here –.

– Erik and Danger are with you here? – asked Scott.

– Only Erik, darling. Danger is at home – she explained.

– Home?

– I’m the White Queen of the Hellfire Club, Scott. – answered Emma. – I took control over my old properties. Including a new, secret base of operations. But now, let’s move: Namor and Illyana won’t be able to fight the guards much longer.

– They are also here? Also Namor? – said Scott while he walked out of the cell with Emma.

– Yes, he likes you. And me. Especially me. – said Emma ironically. – Wait a minute, darling –.

Her body started changing while her skin became organic.

– Guys, I found Scott. Let’s go away before the Avengers come! – She said telepathically.

– We’re coming there, Emma – answered Illyana.

A few moments later a shining blue step disc appeared in front of them. Magik, Namor and Magneto immediately came out from it.

– I’m happy to see you, Scott. – said Magneto. – It’s time to bring the X-Men back –.

Scott shook his head.

– No, it’s not time to stand against the Avengers –.

– No. It’s not time for procrastination, darling. – said Emma. – We have risked our lives for you. And you can’t stand back now –.

– But…

– Wait! – Emma exclaimed. – I’m sensing something… oh no… it can’t be possible!

– What’s going on, Emma?

– They’re here… The Avengers are here!

BOOM!

The ceiling over them exploded. Magneto put his hand up and immediately a force field appeared over them, blocking the pieces of rock that were falling over them.

– Finally we’ll fight a real fight! – exclaimed Namor, smiling.

Over them a silhouette appeared. A few times later Captain America jumped in front of them while Iron Man and Thor flew near him, the weapons pointed at them.

– Avengers, Assemble!

To be continued....

*I don't own anything. Every character and concept is owned by Marvel.

#2 Posted by thespideyguy (2771 posts) - - Show Bio

Great love the series

#3 Posted by Veitha (4108 posts) - - Show Bio

@thespideyguy: Thank you very much :D

#4 Posted by IllyanaRasputin (1177 posts) - - Show Bio

Love it :D

Team Emma Fost

#5 Posted by thespideyguy (2771 posts) - - Show Bio

@Veitha: your welcome

#6 Posted by lykopis (10868 posts) - - Show Bio

OOohhh --- nice build up and good cliff hanger!

I did like this line especially:

Red like the flames of the Phoenix. Red like the hair of the woman he once loved. Red like the blood in his hands.
#7 Posted by Veitha (4108 posts) - - Show Bio

@IllyanaRasputin: Thanks :) You know I love Emma hahaha

@lykopis: Thank you :)

#8 Posted by batkevin74 (12830 posts) - - Show Bio

@Veitha said:

Chapter 1

Scott Summers lay on the floor in his red Ruby Quartz cell.

Red

Everything he could see was red

Everything in his life was red

Red like the flames of the Phoenix.

Red like the hair of the woman he once loved.

Red…like the blood on his hands.

And now red like the cell he was supposed to spend most of his life.

But he was happy, after all he was right. The Phoenix had repowered the mutankind and finally their race was saved from the extinction. He was right. And now he would pay because of this. And because of the crimes he had committed… the crimes the Phoenix had committed. Years ago, the Phoenix Force had destroyed his life. But now…

“We’re saved” he muttered to himself “We’re finally saved”

It should be lay, otherwise he told a fib to the floor which doesn't make sense. You lay on a floor, you lied to your mother...but in saying that you can use lied...but I beleive the context has to be different, eg: they lied down together...it's tricky

Above is a minor edit of your opening chapter. It's good, I just put it line by line for more emphasis on Scott's red predicament. Good story, I'll have to wait until AvX gets into a trade or graphic novel so I can get the full context of what happened but I'm enjoying this.

Online
#9 Posted by Veitha (4108 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@Veitha said:

Chapter 1

Scott Summers lay on the floor in his red Ruby Quartz cell.

Red

Everything he could see was red

Everything in his life was red

Red like the flames of the Phoenix.

Red like the hair of the woman he once loved.

Red…like the blood on his hands.

And now red like the cell he was supposed to spend most of his life.

But he was happy, after all he was right. The Phoenix had repowered the mutankind and finally their race was saved from the extinction. He was right. And now he would pay because of this. And because of the crimes he had committed… the crimes the Phoenix had committed. Years ago, the Phoenix Force had destroyed his life. But now…

“We’re saved” he muttered to himself “We’re finally saved”

It should be lay, otherwise he told a fib to the floor which doesn't make sense. You lay on a floor, you lied to your mother...but in saying that you can use lied...but I beleive the context has to be different, eg: they lied down together...it's tricky

Above is a minor edit of your opening chapter. It's good, I just put it line by line for more emphasis on Scott's red predicament. Good story, I'll have to wait until AvX gets into a trade or graphic novel so I can get the full context of what happened but I'm enjoying this.

Oh thanks! I haven't noticed that, I did a great mistake ;)

Thanks for the suggestions about the "red stuff", when I'll post the second chapter I'll let you know