Corrupted: Timber Wolf issue 4

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TommytheHitman

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#2  Edited By TommytheHitman

Pretty awesome. Really interesting. No the brutal fight wasn't the worst thing I've seen. There were a few Grammer hiccups.

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JS_Smokeman

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you have to properly picture it and Thanks

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TommytheHitman

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#4  Edited By TommytheHitman

@js_smokeman: You need to click reply when you want to respond to people. Otherwise they won't know about it.

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AweSam

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It was good, but there isn't nearly enough dialogue.

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JS_Smokeman

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@awesam: Yeah i know i wanted this issue to be more about the inner workings of Timber Wolf there will be allot next issue though.

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batkevin74

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@js_smokeman: "What’s happening to me?First the fading, now I don’t even know where I was born! These last fifty years I’ve worked on my own, not getting into anything to serious and now I start working bigger and it all goes to hell! Is it a sign?Does time it self not want me to be a part of this new universe Superman made?"

That's your opening paragraph, 'errors in bold'! I don't mean to pick on you, I'm just showing you where you may have missed grammar

Also, who is this "Derenager"? Did you mean Deranger?

Have a look over this again because in parts you've got massvie slabs of text with at times odd and overly long sentences. "He didn't even trust himself, he didn't believe he could save his own life and possibly the lives of an entire time stream centillions of lives were on his head and the pressure was high so much that for a brief second he wished there was no way the time stream could come back just to release stress"

You may wish to consider an edit, if you need help just ask.

Timber Wolf is good and has awesome potential