#1 Edited by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

This is the first part in my Curse of Black Adam series. The first always sucks, so bare with it. Feedback is always nice. Enjoy.

[Kahndaq]

“Surrender now, or die.” A hawkman yelled at a young man standing near a sarcophagus.

“SHAZAM!”

The young man yelled.

The hawkmen’s eyes were blinded by the sudden flash of light. In an instant, the area no longer existed. Remaining, only the young man in a black suit.

Moments earlier.

“Zidain, wait!” A young boy yelled as he raced down the street.

“You better run faster than that.” Zidain yelled back.

Just as they made it to the marketplace, the young boy bumped into something, roughly hitting the ground.

“Woah. Are you okay, Ali?” Zidain asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He looked up to see a man with large wings. A familiar site to them.

“You better watch where you’re going, boy.” The hawkman harshly said.

“I’m sorry, sir!”

Ali quickly made his way to Zidain and they fled the area. They entered a small tomb with markings covering the walls and the word “Shazam” engraved above a stone sarcophagus.

“Zidain, that was a hawkman!” He yelled, frightened.

“I know.”

“What are they doing here?”

“I don’t know.” Zidain said.

“You know what they say. No good can come when the hawkmen are near. Remember what they did last time?”

“We’ll be safe here. This is the tomb of Black Adam. No one dare cause trouble here.” Zidain said, trying to comfort Ali.

As Zidain stood, staring at the symbols on the walls, he read out, “He who utters the word Shazam shall gain...”

He was interrupted by Ali exiting the tomb for a look outside.

“Ali, wait!” Zidain yelled.

He approached the entrance, but stopped when he saw two hawkmen enter. One holding a bloodied mace.

“Ali?! What did you do to my brother?”

The hawkman raised his mace and said, “The same thing we’ll do to you if you resist.”

Zidain took a step back and noticed a curved sword lying near the sarcophagus. He picked it up and directed it at the hawkmen.

“Surrender now, or die!” The hawkman yelled.

Zidain took another step back, making contact with the sarcophagus. He peaked at the wall, remembering what he read earlier. Unsure was it meant, he yelled “SHAZAM!”. A massive explosion engulfed the area, wiping out everything in sight. Several hawkmen rushed to investigate the explosion. In the dust, standing was Zidain, wearing black armor with a golden lightning bolt on his chest.

“What happened here?” A hawkman yelled as they surrounded Zidain.

Suddenly, he vanished.

“AAAHH!!!!!!”

The hawkmen were alerted by one of their own yelling in agony, then dropping to the ground.

“AAHHHHH!!!”

Again, another one dropping.

“What’s happening? I can’t see with all this dust.” The hawkman said.

As the dust cleared, the hawkman saw Zidain bolting at him in the air. Without enough time to react, the Hawkman was decapitated by the curved sword Zidain held. One of the hawkmen immediately flew at Zidain and attempted to strike him with his mace, but Zidain caught it, and then used it to bludgeon the hawkman in the face. The final one attempted to escape, but was stopped by Zidain who wrapped his hand around the hawkman’s helmet, crushing it. The hawkman yelled, and then dropped to the ground, like the rest. Zidain took a look at the crater that was once the tomb of Black Adam, then flew off.

The next day.

[Washington, DC]

“Kal-El, another lightning bolt was spotted. It was similar to the one that was sighted at the residence of Freddy Freeman, except, this one was spotted in Kahndaq.

The man turned around, revealing a large “S” shape on his chest.

“Kahndaq? Impossible.”

“Apparently it is possible. Do you think it’s him?” The green man asked.

“I’m not sure, but we can’t ignore this. Call Diana.”

#2 Edited by joshmightbe (24620 posts) - - Show Bio

Great start, We'll probably need to do a cross over at some point if you're up for it.

#3 Edited by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe said:

Great start, We'll probably need to do a cross over at some point if you're up for it.

Thanks. Yeah, I just asked you that in the PM lol

#4 Posted by batkevin74 (10415 posts) - - Show Bio

Kal-El, another lightning bolt was spotted. It was similar to the one that was sighted at the residence of Freddy Freeman, except, this one was spotted in Kahndaq.

“Kahndaq? Impossible!”

“Apparently it is possible. Do you think it’s him?” The green man asked.

“I’m not sure, but we can’t ignore this. Call Diana.”

I can see Superman questioning his wife "Did you really kill him?" and have her put him through a wall spouting "I am a warrior! I cut his damn head off Kal! Keep this up and I'll take yours too?" Her red lantern ring flared up

Looking forward to more revelations about Zidain, keep up the good work

#5 Posted by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 said:

@blackreaper said:

Kal-El, another lightning bolt was spotted. It was similar to the one that was sighted at the residence of Freddy Freeman, except, this one was spotted in Kahndaq.

“Kahndaq? Impossible!”

“Apparently it is possible. Do you think it’s him?” The green man asked.

“I’m not sure, but we can’t ignore this. Call Diana.”

I can see Superman questioning his wife "Did you really kill him?" and have her put him through a wall spouting "I am a warrior! I cut his damn head off Kal! Keep this up and I'll take yours too?" Her red lantern ring flared up

Looking forward to more revelations about Zidain, keep up the good work

Let's just say, Diana won't be happy and she'll want this matter to be dealt with.

#6 Posted by batkevin74 (10415 posts) - - Show Bio
#7 Posted by TommytheHitman (2873 posts) - - Show Bio

Interesting. Black Adam with a sword vs Hawkmen. Very awesome!

Online
#8 Posted by dngn4774 (2733 posts) - - Show Bio

Loved this! Kinda felt bad for Ali though but at least his sacrifice helped create one of the earth's strongest rebels.

#9 Edited by joshmightbe (24620 posts) - - Show Bio

Pm me when ur ready for the crossover i accidentally removed myself from the main pm

#10 Posted by batkevin74 (10415 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774 said:

Loved this! Kinda felt bad for Ali though but at least his sacrifice helped create one of the earth's strongest rebels.

Something tells me, like all good origin stories, Ali's going to return! Think about it, he'd feel betrayed by his friend for getting him killed, he was then BLOWN up when the thunder hit Black Adam's tomb...I can think of nothing scarier for a nemesis than an undead, magical kid bent of revenge!

I can re-add @joshmightbe

#11 Edited by joshmightbe (24620 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74 this site just isnt iphone friendly or i just dont know how to properly use my phone both are plausible

#12 Edited by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

@tommythehitman said:

Interesting. Black Adam with a sword vs Hawkmen. Very awesome!

Thanks. I felt like adding something to him.

@dngn4774 said:

Loved this! Kinda felt bad for Ali though but at least his sacrifice helped create one of the earth's strongest rebels.

Thanks. No victory without sacrifice.

Pm me when ur ready for the crossover i accidentally removed myself from the main pm

Sure. I just have to get passed my first little story arc. Something short before he's ready to get out in the world.

@dngn4774 said:

Loved this! Kinda felt bad for Ali though but at least his sacrifice helped create one of the earth's strongest rebels.

Something tells me, like all good origin stories, Ali's going to return! Think about it, he'd feel betrayed by his friend for getting him killed, he was then BLOWN up when the thunder hit Black Adam's tomb...I can think of nothing scarier for a nemesis than an undead, magical kid bent of revenge!

Yeah, he's kind of in bits and pieces right now.

#13 Edited by joshmightbe (24620 posts) - - Show Bio

I want to finish my first arc as well to get my guy established before the crossover

#14 Posted by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe said:

I want to finish my first arc as well to get my guy established before the crossover

I suppose I'll have to get busy writing so you don't get too far ahead.

#15 Posted by batkevin74 (10415 posts) - - Show Bio

#16 Posted by joshmightbe (24620 posts) - - Show Bio
#17 Posted by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio
#18 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1622 posts) - - Show Bio

@blackreaper: A new Black Adam getting powers from the tomb of the old Black Adam, nice! And his brother meeting a tragic end "he saw two hawkmen enter. One holding a bloodied mace.

“Ali?! What did you do to my brother?”

The hawkman raised his mace and said, “The same thing we’ll do to you if you resist.”

You have all the elements for an angry god infused young man who can punch holes in people! Good work

@batkevin74 said:

It looks like he's on the toilet.

Yes, yes he does. An electric toilet :)

#19 Posted by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

@4donkeyjohnson: Thanks. Well, difference between my guy and the rest is he's based off a villain. I had to give him a reason to be mean and heartless. Also needs a reason to punch a hole in Superman's chest.

#20 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1622 posts) - - Show Bio

@blackreaper: Dead brother is often a good reason to punch holes. Dead brother killed by henchmen of Superman, really good reason to punch Superman's head in :)

#21 Posted by 18hunt (2891 posts) - - Show Bio

Like it, love it, gotta read it (my reaction the farther I go)

#22 Edited by BlackReaper (595 posts) - - Show Bio

@18hunt said:

Like it, love it, gotta read it (my reaction the farther I go)

Thanks, a lot.

#23 Posted by batkevin74 (10415 posts) - - Show Bio

Bumped for referencing