CORRUPTED: Flash #14

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Bronze_Surfer

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You know sometimes I wonder if this whole rebel against the system thing is worth it. I mean I sure helping everyone against crazy Superman is fun and all but then there are days like today were I lose my powers once more and have to fight of Vanguards in hand to hand combat with a girl I just met. Now I would be thinking more into this if it was not for the pain of having my head smashed into a wall.

Before the Vanguard could do it again I rammed my fist into his crotch. It was not as effective as I could have hoped. He picked me up still holding on tight to my neck. I may be able to overpower his weaker cousins the Hawkmen, but guys like him were way above their cousins pay grade. The Vanguard head butted me nearly breaking my forehead as I bit on his hand finally getting him to let go.

“So you like to choke people huh?” I said lunging at him jumping over onto his back. I put him into a headlock trying to knock him out or just plain kill him. Every time I tried to snap his neck it did jack squat. As I felt his hand move on my back I started to brace myself. I was sent flying through a wall sending me crashing outside. I can’t believe the fight already went into 3 different buildings, keep in mind that all of them are on fire.

“Yes…you could say I do.” He said stomping his foot onto my skull. My eyes now all watery and bloodshot glanced up to see him take out his mace. I was blessed to have him not take it out before but my luck seems to have run out. As he raised both arms up to smash the mace onto my head, a blade went right through where his heart is. I saw him fall to the side and behind him was Christina with her attire covered in blood panting.

“Having a rough night?” I asked as she looked at me with a glare that could kill a Kryptonian. She picked me up and I saw the other members of the monkey fist cult fighting for their lives but to no avail. Out of nowhere another Vangaurd swooped in behind us but I did a round house kick knocking him aside at my super speed levels.

“Your speed has returned, good, let us save as many as we can.” She said with me nodding and bolting off. I ran around wherever we are vibrating the back of Vanguards heads ending them right there. The fires were still going as I saw the biggest building explode from the top and an elderly man fighting four Vanguards at the same time and seeming to be wining. Every move the Vanguards made was countered by this man.

His winning streak seemingly ended as one of the Vanguards was able to smash there mace into his chest breaking his lungs seemingly. This angered all the men and women in monkey masks around me prompting them to scale the building and decimate the four Vanguards. I run up the building and move through the crowded masked men to see Christina over the elderly man.

“You…you have done well Christina, you… are ready now to take the title of paper monkey.” The man said before he stopped breathing.

"You will not have perished in vain Master Dragon." Christina said closing his eyes.

“It is time to move…” she said walking to me. “I told you I wanted to help the rebellion and now I can, you will have the full assistance of the Cult of the Monkey Fist, after we dismantle the regime that oppresses the world we will make our separate ways.” She said with all the other members raising the weapons in agreement. I smiled.

“Well I can’t say no to free help.” I said smiling. “Alright, well you should get your whole…monkey people together and meet up on the outskirts of metropolis, wherever that is from here and I have some work I have to get done.” I said as she nodded. I smiled once more before I raced off to find wherever the base of the resistance is from here. God I need to get a GPS.

Outskirts of Keystone City

I feel I tingling sensation moving through my entire body. I have never been tased before and I hope to never be tased again.

“Aunty Iris?” I said as my vision came back to me. I looked around trying to find her but I’ll I could see was…no… Moving closer I did find her…with a bullet hole in her head. Tears come to my eyes as I plead to whatever higher power still watches this planet.

I pick up her bag and feel the weight she must have been carrying. Looking through it I see a picture of my parents, William and I along with some futuristic gun. There was some water and a wallet also. The last thing I remember was that man. He was in the room that we ended up in. William should know where he is.

I focus as hard as I can to find any other speed force user around me. I feel two distinct users. One was in the middle of nowhere and the other somewhere near China. I begin to run off towards china as I feel shock-waves coming from Keystone. This just prompted me to leave even faster and in an instant, I was gone.

The Watchtower

Wonder Woman walked into the room where J'onn J'onzz the Martian Manhunter was assaulting Chris Freeman’s mind.

“What can I do for you Diana, I am busy with the task your husband assigned me.” J'onn said as she threw down the broken and beat up Samuel West.

“Get him fixed up and destroy his mind, make him work for us, now.” She said walking out of the room. J’onn sighed as he put Samuel on a table and begin the healing process. A purple ray started to have his broken bones and face move back into place and the man’s eyes opened.

“Hello Samuel, this will hurt allot.” He said as he went into the man’s mind changing everything. “Is there anything you would like to say?” J’onn asked as Samuel started to open his mouth.

“H…Hail…Hail Superman!” is all he said as the Martian smiled.

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Delphic

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#3  Edited By Delphic

I mean I sure helping everyone against crazy Superman is fun and all but then there are days like today were I lose my powers once more and have to fight of Vanguards in hand to hand combat with a girl I just met. Now I would be thinking more into this if it was not for the pain of having my head smashed into a wall.

Get rid of the "I" between mean and sure.

I ran around wherever we are vibrating the back of Vanguards heads ending them right there.The fires were still going as I saw the biggest building explode from the top<,> and an elderly man fighting four Vanguards at the same time and seeming(he seemed) to be wining. Every move the Vanguards made was(were) countered by this man.

"wherever we are" isn't necessary. Add a comma in front of and. Change seeming to he seemed, and was to were.

His winning streak seemingly ended as one of the Vanguards was able to smash there (their) mace into his chest breaking his lungs seemingly.

Neither of the "seemingly" are nessecary, and change there to their.

“Aunty Iris?” I said as my vision came back to me. I looked around trying to find her but I’ll(all) I could see was…no… Moving closer I did find her…with a bullet hole in her head. Tears come to my eyes as I plead to whatever higher power still watches this planet.

Simple typo. Change I'll to all. Also WTF IRIS DIED!!!!

Okay, over all I really enjoyed this. I may have to look back at the chapter before this, because I was a little lost on the monkey cult, but despite that I still enjoyed this chapter very much. I've listed a few corrections above, and since my understanding of grammar is just basic, I'm just going to suggest going back through, and putting commas in front of your "ands" and "buts". I remember you saying you were going to end Flash soon, so I'm interested in seeing how you're going to wrap this up, and what you're going to move onto next.