#1 Posted by The WeatherMan (3261 posts) - - Show Bio

Chapter 1.

Crimson prison.

”Blood. Blood everywhere. Red rain is all around me. I can’t see anything but red. Am I mad…?”

A character in a stylish black raincoat was running alongside a wall, clutching onto it with the remains of his strength. Light bulbs flashed, making everything bright and then disappearing again, as if playing a malicious game of hide and seek.

”Chest. My chest. I hear nothing from it. I feel nothing from it. No beating. Where is she?”

He continued taking weak steps; his mind was hallucinating, making him see crimson liquid everywhere. His breaths were rapid and unsteady, as if he was gasping for the last bits of air that to him smelled like copper.

”Why… Why did I do this? The court… The devil… My heart… Where is my heart?” – the thoughts were popping into his mind, showering his brain in a waterfall of insane questions that he had no answers to.

He fell onto his knees and started to drawl, his hands were beginning to tie up in the darkness of the raincoat. He felt powerless and weak. He didn’t want to get up because that would take precious time. He was running away.

”You’re not going to make it… You’re not going to make it…” –he looked onto his left, and saw a prison cell with blood all over the walls. Little children were singing in a haunting tune, all staring at him with their huge and innocent eyes. Each one of them was holding a still beating heart in his hands. The hearts were pumping out blood onto the floor, making it wet and drowning the entire prison, where the Keyblader had been tormented for the last several years.

”Blood. Hearts. Which one is my heart… Run. Time is flooding the whole place. How can there be time where there is no ticking?”

”There is ticking… Time is kind of like a heart. Time ticks. Heart beats…” – he wasn’t realizing that his thoughts were being spoken out loud. The blood seemed to have flood the entire prison, it was almost reaching his lips.

”Drink it… You’re thirsty. Blood tastes like copper. Drink it. Love it…’ – his lips almost touched the liquid that had now soaked his coat, as he stood on all fours, completely drenched in the liquid he had never spilled.

”Drink it. Maybe one of them is yours… And be like him? No. Then be like what?” – he managed to shake himself out of it. The children were singing the same creepy tune that bounced around his mind like an echo. He stood up and pressed on, despite that blood was slowing his already defeated self down.

”I fought the devil. I have no heart. He is after me. Why would he be? I don’t have any time.” – the monotone thoughts kept pressing the barrier of sanity, like the blood was pushing the door that stood in front of him. He focused his last bits of energy and punched through the door.


#2 Posted by Walkingstone (10636 posts) - - Show Bio

Interesting start.

#3 Posted by Final Arrow (24322 posts) - - Show Bio


#4 Posted by The WeatherMan (3261 posts) - - Show Bio

Chapter 2.

Devil’s judgment.

”Blood. It seems to be everywhere these days.” – the coolest, most collected and emotionless voice in the whole world came from behind the Keyblader, making his own blood freeze. If he had a heart, it would stop pumping during this moment.

”You… I remember.” – Keyblader turned around with fear in his eyes. He didn’t want to remember the man, but everywhere he looked reminded him of it.

”But of course, how could you forget. I am the one who granted you the power that you abused.” – they both were standing on a rooftop that rose all the way up to the sky. Among them, there were many more similar skyscrapers. There were no lights in the windows, not a single one. The only lit up area seemed to be around the Keyblader.

”But you also… It was you! You took my heart. I won’t forgive you.” – despite that keyblader felt weak and could barely stand, he closed his hands in tight fists, his muscles unwillingly contracting.

”I don’t want your forgiveness, silly child. But you want theirs, right?” – the man finally turned to face the keyblader. He was tall, wearing a one-piece black suit that seemed to perfectly match his black eyes. A certain hot aura was coming off of him, and a sulfur smell. His hair seemed to be giving off steam, despite that he remained calm.

”Remember my judgment.” – Keyblader finally had started to remember, memories were like puzzle pieces, falling onto the floor. But this time, they started falling in order.

He was standing a courtroom hat was completely red. There was no jury. There were no lawyers. There were no guards. There was only the defendant and the judge.

”Do you, whose name has been forgotten, find yourself guilty of betrayal, treason, selling of your heart to the devil, and murder?” – the judge was the same man he was speaking to on the lit up rooftop.

Keyblader could say no words, he was standing on his knees, and his face was covered in the hoodie of the coat. He hid away the tears and all of the pain he caused to his closest one. He had no feelings for them anymore, after his heart was gone, he couldn’t feel the responsibility he was breaking. He didn’t want to live. He wasn’t sure how he could still cry but tears were dripping onto the white marble floor, painting it in red.

”Heaven’s gates will never open up to you, child. Now you will forever remain in the clutches of my damnation.” – the man hit the hammer, and the noise seemed to give off a sonic wave, shattering everything in sight, as if the walls were made out of glass. The Keyblader fell, now realizing that the night he sold his heart, he had sold it to the devil himself.

#5 Posted by Constantine (16128 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice chapter 1 & 2 I found it interesting.

#6 Posted by Walkingstone (10636 posts) - - Show Bio

This is getting really addictive. More! Bravo :)

#7 Posted by The WeatherMan (3261 posts) - - Show Bio

Chapter 3.

Fall from Damn.

Keyblader’s eyes had been wide, shining away with the darkness of one of the memories he never wanted to remember. He was so glad he couldn’t feel, because if he could, his heart would have been ripping into a thousand pieces from the pain and sadness.

”Ahh, you remember now… it’s too bad you couldn’t feel it. You can’t feel anything. That’s what makes you so perfect.” – the devil spoke with arrogance, as his shadow became bigger, expanding, growing in size and stature along the floor that was lit up with sickly yellowish light.

”I’m incomplete… Not perfect.” – Keyblade seemingly forgot all about his escape. The devil’s charms were working. He was staring into the growing shadow, and a need to run away had sprung up inside his head. It was like staring into the eyes of a malicious cobra, who was rising his above you, charming you with it’s graceful movements and paralyzing you with it’s shining eyes, and the need to run along with the feeling of danger were much above the threshold, but you could do nothing. Such was the way of the devil.

”Then allow me to put some feeling back into you. Let’s see if you can feel pain!” – the man screamed, thrusting his hand forward, out of which a straight beam of hellish flame lashed out, aiming at the chest of the weakened warrior.

”Pain. I can feel! Pain… And then there is blood. Oh God, it’s gushing everywhere. I think I’m going to throw up. God… I pray to you, catch me. My wings have been broken…” – the beam that was aimed at Keyblader’s chest missed and his arm directly where the elbow joint was, making a hole right through his arm. The crimson liquid was leaving a horrible painting on the floor, as the Keyblader stepped all over it and started dragging his feet to the edge of the rooftop.

”Where are you going to go?” – all the skyscraper’s seemed to echo the devil’s words, along with a sinister laughter that rung in Keyblader’s ears. He didn’t want to answer; he was standing on the edge, of the skyscraper and his sanity.

”My wings. Broken. Can I still fly?” – he jumped, in the last leap of faith he thought he would ever do. Thousands of feet below, he saw the same crimson liquid. Every window of every skyscraper had a strange creature, staring at him with hopes of escaping, just like him. He was going to make it. The devil’s laughter had been ringing his above him, but vanishing away. He closed his eyes, he knew he would break himself if he did make it all the way down to the end, but he did not want to stay in the prison, only dreaming of escape. If death was the release, then he was ready to let it all go.

The wind picked up all around his as he dissected the air with his fall. The eyes and whispers everywhere were beginning him to take them with him, to escape hell. But he just flew by them, not caring because he truly couldn’t. Right before he hit the bottom, the reality froze for a second, lengthening his time in hell. Then it decided to let him go.


#8 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (82980 posts) - - Show Bio

You come with some serious writing skillz man, nice job.

#9 Posted by The WeatherMan (3261 posts) - - Show Bio

Chapter 4.


Keyblader was sitting with his back to the wall in a small alley inside a different world.

”First one to escape. Ever. What good does that do?” – it was snowing, winter was the season, covering everything in white. He was hugging himself for warms, breathing out hot steam. The leather coat did not provide much heat in such cold conditions.

The tears on his face froze and his eyelashes started becoming white. He did not want to move, his body felt like it was going to freeze to death, while just a couple of feet away, little kids were playing with snowballs, not noticing the stranger.

”So… Cold. At least everything is white. Snow. So much more calm than blood.” – his right hand had no feeling in it whatsoever. The wound has started to heal, but the blood that was flowing out of it had completely frozen. He was losing his grip on reality, falling into a deep sleep from the cold, when a sharp pain on the side of his head had awakened him.

”I’m sorry mister… Can… Can we please have our ball back?” – Keyblader looked down onto the snowy ground, noticing a red and green rubber ball. Stretching out his left hand, he gripped it. He couldn’t even feel the ball, his fingers closed around it with much effort, the leather gloves he had on were frozen as much as his fingers were. He brought the ball to his face, looking over it for a second, then he handed it to the kid, while turning his face away.

Before he turned away, Keyblader managed to get a glimpse at the child. He stood, trying to see under the hoodie of the Keyblader, with big blue eyes that shined with naïve and virtuous radiance, not knowing of the evil’s that could be lurking around the corner. Keyblader began to remember himself as a child, so irreproachable and sinless, believing that his life was the worst of it. Keyblader’s eyes trailed down, onto the child’s chest, where his sharp hearing could heart a beat.

”A heart… So beautiful. Such melodious pulsation, like the beating of a peaceful drum. Take it!” – something made him want to reach out and carve the heart of the child out of his small and peculiar chest, so he could have it in his own again. But he knew he wasn’t going to do that ever again.

”Thanks, mister, goodbye.” – the voice of the child had rung like a tiny bell, full of happiness and joyous laughing. Keyblader stretched out his hand, letting the child have the ball. Their hands brushed against each other and he felt warmth. The wish to make his heart his own sprung up again, but quickly calmed.

Keyblader watched the child gallop back to his friends; unable to see the shadow that followed him was nobody’s. The shadow grew out of the ground, hovering over the child. Keyblader knew what this meant as he had seen this happen before, many times, but continued to do nothing. A small tear trickled down his white and cold face, freezing before it could reach his cheek.


Post Edited:2007-05-29 15:18:00

#10 Posted by Walkingstone (10636 posts) - - Show Bio

"A heart… So beautiful. Such melodious pulsation" Brilliant! Wow, this is stunning writing

#11 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (82980 posts) - - Show Bio

Walkingstone says:

""A heart… So beautiful. Such melodious pulsation" Brilliant! Wow, this is stunning writing"

Yeah what bunny said.

#12 Posted by Femoceanique (119 posts) - - Show Bio

very intense and yet hauntingly beautiful. this story is frightening yet it makes me want more.

#13 Posted by The WeatherMan (3261 posts) - - Show Bio

Chapter 5.

Locked away.

”Please! Help my child!!! What is happening to him!?” - a woman was screaming and pouring tears onto the snow. Her face was completely white, from the cold and the fear. Keyblader turned his body halfway and saw the scene.

”Of course… They can’t see heartless unless they show themselves…” – he did not move, simply standing back and observing the entire scene, as if he was also a heartless that did not wish to reveal himself.

”The child… He is fighting… Struggling…” – Keyblader remarked to himself. The child was floating in mid air; his eyeballs were hiding, leaving only the whites of his eyes. His body was shaking vigorously and white bubbly liquid was coming out of his mouth. He was dying in a way that was most painful.

”Please! Help! Somebody please!!! My baby…” – the mother was screaming he lung and throat out, her screams were hurting the people around her, but nobody would step in to do something. The men had their hats taken off; everyone was looking down onto the ground, not doing anything. The boy was already dead to them. Only the mother was right beside her child, holding his hand as she screamed at the world that was too cruel for her innocent son.

”His heart… Such magnificent beauty of life… That I was rid of…” – the only man that could do something about all of this did nothing but stand beside the crowd, watching the tear jerking scene.

”God… WHY?!” – the mother yelled out with a shattering shriek and fell onto her knees beside the boy’s body.

”God had nothing to do with this. Ask the devil.” – Keyblader whispered to himself. The heart of the body had lifted out of his body. The heartless had it’s face right near it, ready to devour the heart. It’s long and dark claws extended and gripped the beautiful gem that shined with red and yellow colors of brilliance and life, despite being out of it’s body.

”He is still struggling on… Brave little soul. Why couldn’t I be that brave?” – as the dark and damp claws had squeezed the heart of the young boy, it kept pumping on, trying to desperately overwhelm the darkness that was mercilessly drawing around it. Keyblader knew that it was a fight the boy could not even hope to win, but the innocence of the child made him unaware of the odds. The heart kept beating, giving out a melodious pulsation every time the claws touched it, pushing them back with unseen bravery. The mother’s tears melted the snow beside her, she did not wish to look as the struggle went on. The heart was almost out of strength, it could not push away the darkness anymore, the light was going out, like the candle’s whose wax had been melted away. One more fatigue pulsation, then one more with even less effort, surely this was going to be the last one…

”Stopga!” – keyblader yelled out from behind the crowd. A ball with twelve roman numerals appeared around the atrocious picture and froze it completely. The heart stopped beating, but so did the claws along with the heartless creature.

”What have you done?” – a man in the crowd turned around to the Keyblader.

”I could have saved him. I could have let him die. I chose to take the middle path.” – Keyblader responded. The boy was alive, still able to exist, but unable to do anything else. He was still with them, but not in pure physical form. The picture of the boy, barely alive with his last beat of the heart and the heartless that was about to devour it and kill the innocent child was hanging in mid air, for everyone to see.

”Thank me or hate me. The choice is yours…” – Keyblader turned around and started walking through the thick snow, away from his choice.


#14 Posted by Final Arrow (24322 posts) - - Show Bio

DUDE I love where your taking Keyblader , Great story Think chapter four is the best bit so far Keyblader looked down onto the snowy ground, noticing a red and green rubber ball. Stretching out his left hand, he gripped it. He couldn’t even feel the ball, his fingers closed around it with much effort, the leather gloves he had on were frozen as much as his fingers were. He brought the ball to his face, looking over it for a second, then he handed it to the kid, while turning his face away.

I loved that whole sense

#15 Posted by Switch (4333 posts) - - Show Bio

The haunting stye is realy cool, love the way your building the character