Posted by theik2 (207 posts) - - Show Bio

One night Oracle was scuba diving near Gotham City as part of an investivation. She encountered some scuba diving goons who roughed her up under water. They left her in the water. Oracle tried to make it back to the small dock she dived from. Her van was parked there. She didn't realize that she had been cut in the leg because she was paralyzed from the waist down. She lost a lot of blood and wasn't going to make it. She spluttered and tried to cry out for help. Fortunately for Oracle Black Canary, a fellow Bird of Prey, couldn't sleep so she took a walk near the water. She heard the noise and came to the dock and could see someone in the water. She reached down to pull the person up and thought it looked like Oracle! Black Canary asked "Are you Oracle?" A voice said "Call me Barbara!" "Well you can call me Dinah! Don't you recognize me Barbara?" "Of course I do! I would recognize that butt anywhere!" "Very funny! Honey, you're bleeding a lot! I better get a tourniquet on that leg of yours!." Dina made a tourniquet and stopped the bleeding. "I better get you to the ER, young lady." Dinah drove her to the ER. Barbara needed a bunch of stitches and a transfusion. Dinah donated blood for her and stayed at her bedside. By 9:00 the next morning Barbara was discharged from the ER and Dinah took her home. Barbara gave her directions to her apartment. Barbara got undressed and into her bed. Dinah asked her if she was hungry or just wanted to rest. "I need to sleep, Dinah, I'm so tired!" Dinah held her hand until she went to sleep and waited with her until she woke up. Dinah heated up some chicken noodle soup and when Barbara woke up she was hungry. Dinah went back to her apartment and got some clothing and returned to Barbara. Dinah said she was going to stay with Barbara until she was okay. By the next morning Barbara was feeling better. Dinah said "With your red hair I imagined you had a name like Bridget or Fiona. You look like a Celtic warrior princess!"Barbara responded "Maybe I am a warrior princess! I thought you looked like a Ursula or Helga. A Valkyrie or something like that." Then they Helga. A Valkyrie or something like that." Then they talked about what happened while Barbara was swimming. Dinah said "The Birds of Prey" will mop up this case for you. Dinah led the Birds of Prey out to capture the crooks. The crooks thought Barbara was dead so they were caught off-guard. Dinah returned to Barbara and reported their success. Barbara said "I'm tired of being so lonely. Will you stay with me a few more days?" "I'd love to. Now we get to be BFFs!"

#1 Posted by Renchamp (2054 posts) - - Show Bio

I still don't get these stories. No character development. No moral. No structure. What's the point?

#2 Posted by batkevin74 (9742 posts) - - Show Bio

@Renchamp said:

I still don't get these stories. No character development. No moral. No structure. What's the point?

I tend to agree.

I try to read pretty much everyone's stuff when I can but @theik2: how about some structure? Because it's all one SLAB of text, actually ALL of your stuff has been a large SLAB OF TEXT. So this will be the last one of yours I read until you can learn how to put stuff in paragraphs, space it out. The story is okay but it's a new year and about time you learnt how to write a bit better than you did last year.

#3 Posted by Joygirl (15364 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: Ouch.

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#4 Posted by batkevin74 (9742 posts) - - Show Bio

@Joygirl: No, I feel its harsh but fair.

All through 2012 I have read @theik2: stories and all have been like this SLAB. So until it changes for the better, I am simply going to not read stories like this any more in 2013. A whole year of SLAB can mean an improvement for the new year, happy new year!

So I do hope you continue to write, I do hope you will in a better, easier accessible format or unfortunately I will be not reading what you've got.

#5 Posted by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe he can only post on a phone? The stuff from 2011 was formatted and even had pics. There must be a reason for the shift.

#6 Posted by theik2 (207 posts) - - Show Bio

I think my browser is outdated so I can't publish decent looking text or graphics.

#7 Posted by wildvine (7149 posts) - - Show Bio

@theik2 said:

I think my browser is outdated so I can't publish decent looking text or graphics.

Can you cut/paste?

#8 Posted by theik2 (207 posts) - - Show Bio

I can try. Thanks.

#9 Posted by theik2 (207 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks for the clarification wildvine.

#10 Posted by cbishop (6315 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: @batkevin74:

@theik2 said:

I think my browser is outdated so I can't publish decent looking text or graphics.

I know these comments are almost a year old, but I had this slab-o-text problem when I was working from my local library's computers- their browsers were incompatible with CV, so the only thing CV would let me do was type and post... no formatting, paragraph breaks, pics, or anything. Sometimes you have to work with what you've got.

As for me, I've thoroughly enjoyed these stories. Are they the greatest things I've ever read? No, but they show a lot of promise, good ideas, and I find their simplicity charming. Could they use improvement? Most certainly, but everything can. ;)

I'm adding this to my FF Long Box. :)

#11 Posted by batkevin74 (9742 posts) - - Show Bio

It's still 2013, I stand by my decision and will reevaluate in 2 months when its 2014 :)

#12 Posted by Joygirl (15364 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh man now I am depressed. I thought theik2 was back. Turns out some meanieface (cough @cbishop cough) had to go and bump it.

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#13 Posted by Joygirl (15364 posts) - - Show Bio

Omg I just had the best idea. I should remaster all of theik2's stories with proper formatting, grammar, and editing. I... this may be the best idea since Nikola Tesla invented magic.

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#14 Posted by cbishop (6315 posts) - - Show Bio

@joygirl said:

Omg I just had the best idea. I should remaster all of theik2's stories with proper formatting, grammar, and editing. I... this may be the best idea since Nikola Tesla invented magic.

I thought about that too. The way these read, he'd make a good plotter for another writer to expound upon.

#15 Posted by Joygirl (15364 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop said:

@joygirl said:

Omg I just had the best idea. I should remaster all of theik2's stories with proper formatting, grammar, and editing. I... this may be the best idea since Nikola Tesla invented magic.

I thought about that too. The way these read, he'd make a good plotter for another writer to expound upon.

I'm doing it. Right now.

*idea officially patented by Joygirl*

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#16 Posted by cbishop (6315 posts) - - Show Bio

@joygirl: Wasn't planning to jump on it- just mentioning that the idea occurred to me as well. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.