Batman vs. Deadpool #2
By: Gordyman
Rated T+
Batman, The Joker, and all related characters are the property of Time Warner and DC Comics. I do not own any of them.
Deadpool is the property of the Walt Disney Company and Marvel Comics. I do not own him.
Although the characters aren’t mine, the story that you are about to read is of my creation.
Gotham is on fire. As Arkham’s inmates wreak havoc on the city, the police do their best to fight back the crazed inmates.
“There’s too many of ‘em!” One police officer says as he fires his gun, in an attempt to defend himself from the inmates charging at him.
“We’ve got to hold the line men!” Gotham City Police Commissioner James Gordon says, “We won’t let this city fall to these monsters!” Gordon then thinks to himself, “Damn it Batman where are you?”
The Joker, Deadpool, and Harley Quinn confront a SWAT team coming out of a helicopter on top of a roof. The officers, itching for a fight, did not have the slightest idea of what they were getting themselves into. They were about to go up against three of the most murderous, crazed minds on Earth.
“Alright you freaks, it’s over!” the commanding officer says through his megaphone, “Surrender or we will shoot!”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!” the Joker laughs as he pulls out his pistol. Deadpool stops him: “Oh, this is gonna be so easy” he says, “Let me handle this!”
Joker replies “Oh, where are my manners? Please, go right ahead.”
Deadpool pulls out his Katanas and walks towards the men.
“Hey, we’re warning you!” The commanding officer continues to scream as Deadpool continues to approach the SWAT team, trying to hide the fact that he had just wet his pants in fear.
“O…O…Ok men” the commander says, “Fire!”
The men open fire on Deadpool and he falls to the ground. The officers look in shock as Deadpool’s wounds heal right before their very eyes!
“This guy ain’t human!” One of the officers says.
Deadpool simply gets up, brushes himself off, puts his Katanas away, pulls out two pistols from his holster, and charges at the men.
“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!” the crazed mercenary screams as he guns down the men one by one, before pointing his guns at the commanding officer.
“Please, I have a wife and two kids at home!” The poor man pleads for his life, as Deadpool places one of the guns’ barrels directly to the man’s forehead. Unfortunately for the officer, madmen like Deadpool cannot be reasoned with.
“You wanna hear a secret?” Deadpool asks the officer in his ear. “BANG!” Deadpool screams before pulling the trigger, causing the man's head to burst.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The Joker falls on the floor in hysterical laughter, “That was rich!”
“I think I like this guy Mr. J!” Harley says.
Suddenly, Scarecrow and Penguin arrive on top of the roof.
“We have completely taken over Gotham!” Scarecrow says while holding a tank filled with fear toxin.
“Now let’s really get this party started!” the Joker says, “We’ll split Gotham in three parts: We’re heading to city hall to kidnap the mayor, there is a system of pipes that carries water from the reservoir into the city that starts in Gotham Cemetary, I need you to mix your toxin in the water supply. That’ll really heat things up!”
“Well that’s funny…” Penguin says.
“What is?” Joker asks.
“You’re actually telling us what you plan on doing” Penguin replies, “You never do that.”
“Well I’m in a good mood” Joker says, “Now hurry up before my good mood runs out, and you know it will.”
“Guess I’ll go back to my nightclub” Penguin says, “See ya’ later clown.”
“I shall go to the cemetery and spread fear all throughout Gotham” Scarecrow says, “The city is ours!”
“So what do we do now guys?” Harley asks.
“I know, let’s steal this helicopter!” Deadpool says.
The three psychopaths jump into the helicopter and fly around Gotham, observing the death and mayhem they have caused.
“It’s beautiful!” Harley says.
“You’re not actually going to share Gotham with those jerks are you?” Deadpool asks.
“HAHAHAHA” Joker laughs, “OF COURSE NOT! Just had to get them off my back that’s all, they wouldn’t stop bothering me!”
“I’m getting bored!” The Joker says, “Where in the world is Batman? He should have showed up by now. Speaking of Batman, Deadpool! I’ve got a friend I want you to meet!”
“Who Batman, guy in the Halloween costume?” Deadpool replies, “Yea I know all about him. Didn’t I tell you? I’ve seen the movies.”
Bruce Wayne arrives at his mansion, where he is greeted by Alfred.
“What’s new Alfred?” Bruce asks.
“Well sir, the Joker and his cronies have kidnapped the mayor” Alfred says, “Reports say that they plan on poisoning Gotham’s water supply using the Scarecrow’s fear toxin.”
“Those fiends…I have to stop them!” Bruce says as he flips a switch near his bookshelf, causing the shelf to open and reveal a flight of stairs. The two men walk down the stairs, to reveal a room filled with high-tech equipment, and a bat-themed costume. Bruce Wayne picks up a remote control and presses a button, causing the glass case in which the bat costume was held in to open; Bruce takes down the costume and puts it on.
“Regarding this new ally of the Joker” Batman asks, “Do you know anything about him?”
Alfred replies “Sir from what I have heard, his name is Deadpool. He is an extremely dangerous mercenary and very insane.”
“Then he’s no different from the Joker and the rest of the monsters Gotham has thrown at me” Batman says.
“No sir!” Alfred says, “From what I hear, he is almost not human. He has a healing factor!”
“Healing factor?” Batman thinks to himself, “Do you know of anything that can negate his healing factor?”
“Nothing I know of sir” Alfred replies.
“Well I can’t just sit here” Batman says, “Gotham needs me. Too many lives have already been lost, the Joker needs to be stopped. As for this Deadpool, I’ll cross that bridge once I get to it.”
“I won’t slow you down sir” Alfred replies.
“Take care of the estate” Batman says before he looks at Alfred with his infamous cold glare, “I’ve got work to do.”
“Godspeed sir” Alfred says to Batman as the garage opens. Batman jumps on the Batcycle and rides into the night.
Continued on #3
More should be coming in a little bit. Comment and critique, thanks!
-Gordyman
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