#1 Edited by TheSavageAssasin (2761 posts) - - Show Bio

Batman and The Outsiders:Else Worlds #1


 
 
20 miles outside of Gotham-Wayne Manor
Deep below Wayne manor lies the Batcave.Right now 7 people are meeting in this dark and damp place while hundreds more party above them.These 7 people are what us regular people call "Superheroes".There names are Jefferson Peirce Codename: Black Lightning, Tatsu Yamishiro Codename: Katana, Tara Markov Codename: Tara, Gabrielle Dole Codename: Halo, Rex Mason Codename: Metamorpho, Jason Todd Codename: Red Hood and of course the one that brought them here- Bruce Wayne Codename: Batman!
Bruce-"Hello,as you all know I am the one that brought you here.As you may also know,at night i go by Batman.No--"
Jason-"So why are we here?"
Bruce-"I was getting to that.So,I brought you all here because I am upset with the way The  Justice League has been handling things,so i decided to put together my own team of young heroes for me to mentor and to assist me in my duties as a crime fighter.Any questions?"
Tara-"Ummmm..."
Bruce-"Yes Tara?"
Tara-"What's the team name?"
Bruce-"We will be called -- The Outsiders"


To be continued--In issue two


I do not own any characters related to the Outsiders all rights are owned by Dc Comics-
 
Links:
 
Issue 2: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/batman-and-the-outsiderselse-worlds-2/529853/#1
Issue 3: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/batman-and-the-outsiderselse-worlds-3/529864/#1
Issue 4: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/batman-and-the-outsiderselse-worlds-4/529872/#1
Issue 5:http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic/8/batman-and-the-outsiderselse-worlds-5/529886/#1
#2 Edited by TheSavageAssasin (2761 posts) - - Show Bio

This is my first Fan-Fic so i would like feedback.Also this is more of a #0 and #2 will be longer.This is just an introduction.

#3 Posted by Thunderstone (579 posts) - - Show Bio

 
 
I like the dialogue but i feel its to short for a fan fiction there are two ways i see you can improve this by making it longer the first is either adding part two to part one making a single part or adding more description of the surroundings overall i give it a three and half star rating

#4 Posted by TheSavageAssasin (2761 posts) - - Show Bio
@Thunderstone said:
"

 
 
I like the dialogue but i feel its to short for a fan fiction there are two ways i see you can improve this by making it longer the first is either adding part two to part one making a single part or adding more description of the surroundings overall i give it a three and half star rating

"
Thanks man.But I don't think i will combine them but i will make issue two much longer.I just wanted this to be a more of an intro to the story.But thanks again for the feedback!Issue 2 will be up soon.
#5 Posted by spiderpigbart (2651 posts) - - Show Bio

It's nice, but it is short.  It would have been better of this said "Number Zero," but, I guess it's fine

#6 Posted by TheSavageAssasin (2761 posts) - - Show Bio
@spiderpigbart said:
" It's nice, but it is short.  It would have been better of this said "Number Zero," but, I guess it's fine "
Yeah.I didn't think of that till Thunderstone said something.
#7 Posted by TheSavageAssasin (2761 posts) - - Show Bio

Working on issue 2!About to put it up!

#8 Posted by MichaeltheFly (6555 posts) - - Show Bio

While I was reading your issue I imagined the Bruce Wayne voice that was used in Batman Tas and you know something he would say exactly what you wrote, lol. Nice job.

#9 Posted by TheSavageAssasin (2761 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump