ASPECT: The Inhumans - POLITICS

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feebadger

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#1  Edited By feebadger

ROLL CALL

Marilla, Medusa, Gorgon, Black Bolt, Triton

In the realm of the Inhumans, there are many, many great halls, but no hall is greater than the one we now find ourselves in... THE GREAT HALL! Great was this hall, and very hall-like and all who have ever entered have been heard to comment, "ooh, this is a great hall!" So come with us now, into the Great Hall as a gathering of Inhumans is... gathered... in the Great Hall...

Medusa – Attention! Attention please! We are starting this meeting now! Is everybody here?

Gorgon – I’m not.

Medusa – Shut up, Gorgon. Right then, I hereby bring to order this meeting of the Inhuman council. Is there any unfinished business we need to attend to?

Marilla – Um, I was just wondering when I was getting my own maxi series?

Medusa – Who the hell are you!?

Marilla – Uh, Marilla? I was Crystal’s nanny.

Medusa – Aren’t you dead?

Marilla – Um… sometimes. Isn’t this the DC Universe?

Medusa – OUT! Does anybody have any REAL unfinished business we need to attend to?

Triton – I DO! I still haven’t got a parking space! I mean, I’ve been in this family since the SIXTIES and I think that it’s only fair that I have a parking space of my own. I mean, even Lockjaw’s got his own freaking parking space, but the fish looking guy!? Nooooo. He don’t get one.

Medusa – But you haven’t got a car?

Triton – Discrimination! That’s what it is. Anti-Semitism!

Medusa – You’re Jewish???

Triton – Well… no. But I did see Yentil once and only vomited twice. STICK TO THE ISSUE!

Medusa – But, none of us have cars?

Triton – I never thought I’d see the day when this kind of rampant and flagrant facism would come into our realm. Transvestism? Maybe, but not this.

Medusa – I don’t even know what a car is. Black Bolt? Do you have a car?

Black Bolt - …

Gorgon – I saw a car once, in the human realm.

Medusa – Really? What did it look like?

Gorgon – Jeremy Irons.

Medusa – Interesting.

Triton – I want to know what’s going to be done about my issue!!

Medusa – For goodness sake, what IS your issue exactly, Triton!?!

Triton - i …i just want some attention…

Medusa – OH… GO SLEEP WITH THE FISHES!!!!~grrrr~ Now, to new business. In economic news, we have finally found a prospective export opportunity for us to make money from the surrounding realms. This product is not only going to mark us as a viable economic force in this galaxy, but it is sure to cement us as a people of taste and elegance.

Triton – What are we exporting?

Medusa – Gorgon’s back hair.

Triton – Classy.

Gorgon – I know! I’ve got loads of the stuff! If we could export my arse hair we’d make a FORTUNE!

Medusa- We’ll keep that in mind.

Triton – Uh, what exactly is the hair going to be used for?

Gorgon – Skrull wigs. Poor guys have been screaming out for a good weave.

Medusa – We think it might bring peace throughout the universe.

Triton – A hair peace?

Medusa – Shut up. In our final piece of business, let’s talk about the recent, inaugural Inhumans Sports carnival.

Gorgon – I thought it was a GREAT success.

Medusa – At last count, 17 dead and 378 injured.

Gorgon – Well I had fun.

Medusa – I think we need to look into why the event was such an unmitigated disaster. For example, who replaced all the sports drinks with vodka smoothies?

Gorgon – Um…

Medusa – And who changed the Long Jump event into the ‘Long Jump Into Your Enemies Face’ event?

Gorgon – Well…

Medusa – And who had the bright idea of letting kids in for free but maiming anyone over twelve at the gate?

Gorgon – It seemed quite popular at the time.

Medusa – People, isn’t it bad enough that we have a king called Blackagar Boltagon? Do we have to embarrass ourselves further?

Triton – Well, we don’t have to…

Medusa – Then it’s agreed. We all endeavor to comport ourselves with a little more dignity and try to refine the image of The Inhumans throughout the universe.

Gorgon – Right.

Triton – Uh, is this before or after we shave Gorgon’s arse and sell it to our neighbours?

Medusa – Meeting adjourned.

END.

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BumpyBoo

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#2  Edited By BumpyBoo  Moderator

Gorgon – I thought it was a GREAT success.

Medusa – At last count, 17 dead and 378 injured.

Gorgon – Well I had fun.

Hehehe...man, we have all been there. Right??? O_O

As with the other one: this is just so perfectly silly and wonderful :) It really is. They are both so, so funny and a heck of a lot of fun to read. Excellent work, cariad. Proud ^_^

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feebadger

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Bump in anticipation of more Benny Hill jokes :)