Part 1: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/a-a-r-s-s-chapter-1-the-pain-in-1495085/#28/
Part 3: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/a-a-r-s-s-chapter-3-kick-in-the-1501599/#20/
Tie-In: http://www.comicvine.com/forums/fan-fic-8/the-writers-guild-presents-9-20-13-1498437/
Champagne City
Dish-Man, Grappling Cook, Space Horse, Bus Boy and Bus Girl made short work of the Scottish ninjas before they vanished in a puff of kipper smelling smoke.
“Is everyone okay?” asked Space Horse looking around with his superior equine vision.
Grappling Cook gathered up his scattered weapons. “I do appreciate the help, but you’d never invade Spatulus’ city”
“Times change,” replied Dish-Man “A.A.R.S.S has been a collection of solo players for too long. We need to work together, like the old days”
“What would you know of the old days?” the voice was angry and familiar and coming from the rooftops above them. A figure dropped down into their midst. It was...
“Dish-Man?” said Grappling Cook in disbelief at the identical figure before them.
“Not quite,” replied the doppelganger “Dishman, no hyphen!” And with a lightning quick flick of the wrist he slashed Dish-Man across the throat with his razorplate of justice. Space Horse whinnied and doubled kicked the assassin in the chest, shooting him down the alley. Grappling Cook caught his friend and cushioned him to the ground as blood…and oil and circuitry spluttered from the open wound.
“What the hell?” cried Grappling Cook as fluid, grease and sparks showered him as the cybernetic creature that was Dish-Man fizzled, popped and convulsed.
Dishman wobbled to his feet from the massive hit. “Have I got a story for you”
Dr Dog’s Secret Lair, No Name, Colorado
“Penmanship will squeal like the treacherous rat he is,” stated Dr Dog as he walked along hand feeding dog after dog from a bag at his hip. “But since everything I told him was a lie, it will lead AARSS right into the trap that is phase two, despite Sir Smart involving the Scottish Ninja clan.”
“Are you going to elaborate on this phase two,” asked Spinister as he cleaned his nails with a knife. “Or is it kind of like phase one where you just winged it?”
Dr Dog stopped cold and slowly turned to the spinning villain and so did the veritable army of small dogs which was kind of unnerving to Spinister, also Sir Smart. Dr Dog walked over to a large object covered in a red velvet sheet “May I present gentlemen, PHASE TWO!”
Sir Smart and Spinister watched on as the veil cascaded down to reveal a giant mechanical octopus.
“Beautiful!” gasped Sir Smart.
“How did I not notice that before?” questioned Spinister “You’d think I’d notice a giant $#%^$ octopus under a sheet!”
Dr Dog shot him a nasty glance and the army of Chihuahuas, poodles, Daschunds and Norfolk terriers chimed in with a low growl which though each was only tiny; an angry sea of fluff was an angry sea of fluff with teeth! Spinister took a small step backwards.
“Hey cool it pooches!” he said warily glancing around to see that the dogs had shuffled in a slight flanking position around him “Okay what’s phase two Doc?”
“I thought you’d never ask!” smiled the canine genius as he pulled a laser pointer from his pocket as a screen descended from the roof.
“If this is a powerpoint presentation…” Spinister muttered under his breath as Sir Smart hung on every word of Dr Dog like it was a religious experience.
“As you can see from phase one…” started Dr Dog on his powerpoint as Spinister face palmed himself.
Champagne City
Space Horse pinned Dishman to the alley wall with a hoof “Explain yourself, now!”
“I was replaced by a robot?” wheezed Dishman as the rock hard hoof held him firm “I’ve spent the last year attempting to escape!”
“What is going on?” cried Bus Girl.
“They’re robots too,” stated Dishman “You too possibly”
Grappling Cook scratched his head “You’re the real one?”
Dishman nodded “Say it with me Dishman, not Dish-Man”
“HEY!” shrieked Bus Girl “You think I’m a robot! Is that what you’re saying?”
“Use your superior senses, Space Horse,” Dishman said. “They’re good copies but…”
Space Horse released Dishman and took a deep breath as he studied Bus Boy and Bus Girl. “By the rings of Saturn!”
“I AM NOT A ROBOT!” screamed Bus Girl.
“Yes, yes you are,” said Space Horse quietly, almost embarrassed. “It seems Dishman’s statement is correct, though very confusing.”
“Let’s get back to AARSS headquarters,” Grappling Cook interjected to change the weird subject. “We need to see how everyone is…and work out…this, whatever this,” He pointed a frying pan at the body of Dish-Man.
A.A.R.S.S HQ, Coney Island, New York, USA
It was like a reunion. Dozens of AARSS’s from everywhere returned to the old headquarters.
Bistro the super chimp, Barf Man, Algebraic Man, Space Horse, Grappling Cook, Spatulus, founder of A.A.R.S.S King Surfer King and Dishman, along with the robotic body of Dish-Man and the potential robots Bus Boy and Bus Girl
“Looks like a regular clambake,” said King Surfer King, his musical voice carrying easily across the room. “Everyone okay?”
“No word from Band Aid Man or Bicycle Girl,” said Bistro as he used all his prehensile limbs to work the computer. “Which is worrying because Penny is usually live tweeting her movements. But before we get into that…” He looked at Dishman. “What the hell is going on here?”
Dr Dog’s Secret Lair, No Name, Colorado
“You’re going to attack their headquarters with a giant mechanical octopus?” scoffed Spinister. “Really? I sat through twenty minutes for THAT to be the plan?”
Dr Dog glared at his mouthy ally, his dogs responding in kind. “Do you have a better plan?”
“I’m going to rob a bank in Milwaukee,” Spinister stood up. “Because nobody goes to Milwaukee unless they like Laverne & Shirley. You two deserve each other.”
“Where do you think you’re going?” Dr Dog folded his arms as the dogs let out a unified low growl. Spinister paused, checking around him.
“I’m leaving,” Spinister said. “Teaming up with you two was a bad idea. No point making it worse…unless you are going to make it worse doctor?”
To be finalised...
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