Rose pulled the rather large box into the main area of the TARDIS. The Doctor wandered over.
“What have you got there, Rose?” he asked curiously.
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“Well, lets have a look, shall we?”
They both examined the box.
“A-ha!” He said after several seconds. “This is my sonic box!”
Rose backed up a bit. She’d had a bit of experience with the Doctor’s so-called ‘improvements’ to random items, usually by making them sonic.
“Doctor, why in the world did you make a box sonic?”
“Don’t be silly, Rose, the box isn’t sonic. Its just an ordinary box.” She gave a sigh of relief. “It’s the stuff in the box that’s sonic.”
Rose stared. “This is where you keep all your sonic stuff?”
“Even… the Sonic Washer/Dryer?”
Jack, previously unnoticed in another part of the room, joined them.
“You made a washer/dryer sonic? Why in the world did you make a washer/dryer sonic?”
“Boredom?” The Doctor shrugged. “The laundry took too long to do? I don’t know, its just one of those things.”
“Well what happened to the washer/dryer?”
“We used it for a little while,” Rose explained.
“Yeah, but after it tried to take over the galaxy…”
“Twice…” Rose added.
“We had to destroy it.”
“It tried to take over the galaxy?” Jack asked, bewildered. “How’d it do that?”
“Opened a vortex in the back of people’s dryers and stole all their socks.”
“O…k… So what else have you got in that box?”
“Well… let’s have a look!”
“Doctor, let me ask you a question,” Jack asked as he slowly edged away from the box. “Does everything you, uh, sonicafy turn out so dangerous?”
“Not everything,” he replied. “The gerbils were… no, scratch that, they tried to take over New Zealand in the year 4130.”
“You’re joking,” Rose said in disbelief.
“No, they really did try to take over New Zealand,” the Doctor answered in earnest.
“You made sonic gerbils?” Jack cut in.
“Yep. Learned my lesson with them, though.”
“What, don’t genetically alter the DNA of gerbils to make them even more destructive than they already are?”
“No, never drop into the middle of New Zealand and start shouting ‘The gerbils are coming.”
“Ok, lets see what’s next!” Rose said loudly, hoping to distract them. The Doctor batted her hand away from the box.
“Its my turn, Rose. You can wait.”
“All right, all right. Ya big baby.”
He reached into the box and grabbed the first thing he laid his hand on. He pulled it out and looked at it. Suddenly he screamed and dropped it back into the box.
“Doctor, was that?” Rose asked, horror plastered on her face.
He nodded slowly. “Yeah. It was.” He looked up dramatically. “The sonic tape measurer.”
“I never thought I’d see that again,” Jack said slowly. “It still haunts my dreams sometimes.”
“You and your gadgets…” Jack grinned as he pulled out a pair of glasses. “Sonic glasses. Right.”
He put them on and put them on setting one. They glowed and whirred in much the manner of other sonic items. He grinned.
“Well heyheyhey!” He said. “Am I seeing double, Doc, or do you have two hearts beating in there? Not the only thing you have two of, I see.”
“Do you mind not looking into my body? Makes me a bit uncomfortable, it does. No wonder Romana didn’t like them.”
“Doctor, you’re a fox! I had no idea, c’mon, tell!”
“Well, that’s my sonic gerbils defeated. What to make sonic next?” The Doctor turned to the tin dog on the floor next to the console of his TARDIS. “Any ideas, K-9?”
“Affirmative, Master. Sonic glasses would be quite useful.”
“Sonic glasses?” He pondered the idea for a minute. “Quite useful indeed, let’s get to it, shall we?”
Several hours later, and they were through. Romana wondered in, yawning.
“Enjoy your nap, Romana?”
“Yes, very much. What have you two been doing in here?”
“Making sonic glasses.”
“Yes, of course, I must have been a fool to think you would have learned your lesson after the gerbils.”
“I did learn my lesson. No more sonic animals.”
Romana sighed. Nope, he hadn’t learned and he probably never would. She watched as he put on the glasses and switched them on. They looked harmless enough, at any rate.
“Really, Romana, a tattoo? That’s a bit 20th century Earth, isn’t it? When did you get it, anyway?”
Her jaw dropped. She kept that tattoo in a rather private place (lower back, in case you’re wondering) and he had just looked through not only her clothes but also her body to see it. She walked over to him so that she was standing barely an inch from him.
“Yes, Roma- Ow! What was- Why did you slap me?”
“You know good and well why! Now get rid of them.” She turned and stormed out.
“You never answered my question!” He called after her. He turned to K-9. “I wonder what’s wrong with her?”
“Ouch!” Jack reached over and patted the Doctor sympathetically before taking off the glasses.
“Wait, I thought you told me you’d never been slapped before?”
“Not by someone’s mother, no. Far as I know, Romana was childless.”
“You’re so gay, you know that?”
“Funny, that’s not what Romana said…” He reached into the box. “Ah. Sonic hair dyer.”
This statement was greeted by a blank stare from both companions. It was Jack who finally spoke.
“Doctor, why do you have a hair dryer? You don’t have hair, not enough for a hairdryer, that is.”
He gave him a look that said something like ‘do not defy my logic, puny human type thing, or I’ll chuck you out into the time vortex next chance I get.’ What he actually said was, “I had hair once. Lot’s of hair. Big, big hair. Curly hair. Frizzy hair. The biggest, curliest, frizziest hair of anyone you’ve ever seen.”
“So what happened?” Rose asked.
“Whaddya think happened?” He waved the hair dryer around. “Actually, the hair dryer never worked.” He turned to Rose. “Your turn, I think?”
“I don’t know if I want to stick my hand in that box again, I might pull out a sonic squirrel.”
“No squirrels. But if you want take your turn then that means Jack will.”
“All right, let’s see…” He dug around for several minutes before pulling out a very, very, very large gun that was several times larger than the box he’d just pulled it out of. for a moment he just stared at the box before shaking his head with a bemused grin. “All right, Doc, I’ve got two questions for you. One, I thought you said that this was a normal cardboard box, and two, what happened to not carrying weapons?”
“In answer to your questions, Jack, that is a normal Gallifreyan cardboard box, and two, I may be pacifist, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to be prepared in the instance that sonic gerbils try to take over New Zealand.”
“That’s so demented.”
The Doctor landed the TARDIS expertly in his haste.
“Come along, Romana. We’ve got to stop those gerbils before they take down the whole of New Zealand!”
“Really, Doctor,” Romana complained. “Do we have to? Couldn’t we just let Tom and Mary tire themselves out destroying New Zealand and then grab them then?”
“As much as I’d love to, that sort of thing is frowned upon. So come on!”
He stepped out of the TARDIS after her, carrying a very large and very sonic looking gun.
“Will it work?”
Twenty minutes later, Romana was sitting against the TARDIS laughing, the Doctor leaning against it next to her. He was looking over the disarray of New Zealand with delight. In truth, it had taken only a few minutes to dispatch the gerbils, but the Doctor had had so much fun blasting them that he had taken off, blasting everything in sight, with Romana close on his heels, trying to stop him. Not trying hard, but such was the case. He’d finally stopped when his batteries died.
“Doctor,” Romana said breathlessly, “You’ll be putting that into the box when we get back inside.”
“You’re right of course, Romana. It was fun while it lasted, but all good things. Yep.”
They laughed and slipped into the TARDIS.
“You destroyed New Zealand.” It was a statement; Jack was merely looking for clarification
“Don’t know really. But at least now you know why no one’s ever given me a weapon.”
“Huh. I guess.”
The Doctor grinned.
“Well, that’s the last of my sonic stuff. You two wanna go have some fun now?”
“Oh, you bet! Where we off to?” Rose grinned shamelessly as she pushed the box aside.
“You’ll see. Come on then, time to go.” He closed up the box and followed the two headed out the door. Reminiscing was fun, but real adventures were funner.
AN: i have no explanation... i can only apologise lol