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Posted by lykopis

I want more stories about when you would pretend to be someone else. Please provide one where injury was involved.

Have you ever done something which you have yet to get someone's forgiveness for?

Posted by Vortex13

@lykopis:

Well, for one Halloween I dressed up as a woman with an Elvis mask in which I referred to as Elvis in drag, and I spoke in a girl voice the whole time. Not just my regular girl voice though, a girl voice that was trying to sound like Elvis doing a girl voice.

I once pretended to have broken my thumb so I could get out of a particularly boring class in high school. I have Double jointed thumbs so I can bend back both at 90 degree angles without having to push back at them at all and when I do push back on them it's more like a hundred and ten degree angle. I actually did that a couple of times in middle school to.

Also in middle school we had this thing called poetry cafe for a wake in which we could go up in front of a crowd of students and say a poem. Obviously I could not pass this up so I went up and recited this poem,

"Kill kill kill the white man.

Kill kill kill the white man.

Kill him until he is dead,

Thank you very much, Black power."

I did indeed raise my fist too in the black power salute. This was in eighth grade and "luckily" for me there was a group of seventh graders in it this time and their was a black kid among the seventh graders who just yelled "Yeah!" when I finished it, obviously I got pulled into a different classroom and soon after my friend who was sitting with me before I got up and recited that poem was brought in as well for protesting that I was getting in trouble for reciting that poem. He was Puerto Rican and figured that if I wanted to say a black power poem I damn well should be allowed to lol.

I randomly walked into a police cruiser that was parked on the street with a cop inside with a fake beard and army jacket and said "I was in Nam!". He than got out of the cruiser opened up the back door I was in and let me out and said "Very funny (insert my name here). Now get out while the door is open or I'll shut it and keep you in for my whole shift." I responded with "Ok Mr. (insert his last name here)." He was my neighbor and I would occasionally would watch his kids for him lol. I did this though a fair distance from where we lived lived.

In one skit my friends covertly filmed me when I went up to a counter with condoms "I was 15" and asked the cashier how to use them, I also said "this is so embarrassing but is this the smallest size?" It was for a joke and what was great was that I specifically went to this cashier who was an elderly man.

In another skit I hid in an alleyway in downtown Springfield (not the safest place) at about 10:00 PM dressed in some of my dads old clothes from the 70's and dropped a smoke bomb as well as my friend hiding out of site using a portable strobe light and used a sound effect like a big boom, I ran out of the alley way where there was a group of people forcing myself to cough and went up to one and said "What year is it?"

My personal favorite playing someone else thing though was being in a skit where I played a serial killer with an eye patch using some make-up effects to make my face super scarred and making some pretty disturbing and twisted comments, which made many of the people helping with the skit uncomfortable which is something I love to do lol.

And as for doing a prank that someone still hasn't forgiven me for, there are two one being when my "friend" (he was a total ass) was going on a date the next night (this was somewhat recent actually, the rest were in high school and middle school) and he was napping. While he was napping I used an electric razor and shaved off one of his eyebrows. The other one, I did to one very good friend, was putting my pet lizard on his shoulder and he is terrified of reptiles he freaked out big time lol.

So yeah what you can learn from this is I was an ass in middle and high school and if you brag about a hot date that you can not wait to "f##k hard and dirty" (his words) do not fall asleep around me because you will be loosing an eyebrow chauvinist.

Posted by KingOfAsh

Favourite method of destroying a star system?

Posted by Vortex13

Someone I am bored out of my mind!

Posted by Xwraith

Is that "viking combat class" I saw you posting about a real thing?

Posted by Vortex13

@xwraith said:

Is that "viking combat class" I saw you posting about a real thing?

Yes, I just got back.

Edited by Xwraith

@vortex13: It sounds amazing. What was it like?

Posted by Vortex13

@xwraith: It was very fun as well as physically demanding which was great in my opinion.

Posted by Fuchsia_Nightingale

Thoughts on Malcolm in the Middle ?

Posted by Vortex13

@fuchsia_nightingale: I was a big fan of Malcolm in the Middle. Loved it, especially since it seemed to be getting more bizarre as the series went on. I also like to think Breaking Bad is a continuation of Hal's story lol.

Posted by Fuchsia_Nightingale

@vortex13: Aww Hal is too kindhearted for that hehe

Posted by lykopis

@vortex13:

I just finished listening to the Giant Bomb podcast and have been bawling. I cannot tell you how relieved I am that I saved your stories for afterwards because I am laughing so hard -- you are pure EVIL. I mean like -- deliciously evil and damn straight you shave that boy's eyebrow off! Good riddance too if he won't forgive you.

LOL, I need to keep an eye on you. Both of them.

Posted by Vortex13

@lykopis: Most of my friends learn to lol. I often sneak attack pick up hug my friends. Which actually reminds me, one time me and some friends as well as a couple of them who brought dates went to see a movie together (if I remember correctly it was TMNT, the CGI one lol). And one of my friends when he was leaving was trying to be cool for the girl he was with and tried to get away with just a hand shake with me. Wasn't happening I just said "oh no you're getting a hug," he had the most adorably dismayed look on his face and said "really?" Me "oh yes!" so I gave him a pick up hug and added the embellishment of twirling him in one complete circle in the air saying "weeeee." Put him down, he muttered thanks in an irritated way, but the girl he was with seemed to find it very funny and sweet so I think I actually helped him lol.

Posted by Vortex13
Edited by Fuchsia_Nightingale

@vortex13: All ended when he met Lois, She's his meth.

Posted by Vortex13

@vortex13: All ended when he met Lois, She's his meth.

Hmm, I guess for me in relation to that line of thinking for a woman to complete me she'd have to be my perfectly cooked enchilada.

Damn northeast, literally no good places to get good food originating from south of the US border. That is probably the biggest (and very possibly the only) thing I miss about living in California. Oh and my friend Ernesto's mother's cooking. Salivates. Sweet Banana Christ her food was incredible.

I mean s##t, even Spanish rice was served at schools for lunch regularly, and it was good! When elementary schools serve better tasting Mexican food than a restaurant here does, there is something wrong. Great now I'm craving food I can't get here. Thanks a lot fuchsia! =P

Posted by lykopis

@vortex13: Awww! Actually, I would think it would help him since I would just about die from the adorableness!

Posted by Vortex13

@lykopis: That is because you understand that adorableness like that is a good quality.

It's kind of funny though because now almost all my friends are disappointed when I don't give them a pick up hug. The only person that I consider a good friend I don't give a pick up hug regularly is my friends girlfriend (they've been dating since senior year of high school). Not because my friend would get jealous, but for the same reason I don't give on of my sisters pick up hugs, she happens to be uh fairly well endowed in the chest area. So if I give her a pick up hug it can be painful for that region.

One of my sisters has the same issue. I remember we were staying at a hotel with our parent's and me and her went swimming while I was doing laps in the pool a guy who worked at the hotel as a lifeguard for the pool I think was in the hot tub with her and she clearly was not comfortable. I noticed after I had done a few laps. This was not an unusual thing to happen and me and her have been close since we were little since while the two eldest sisters didn't let us, the two younger children, play with them we hung out with each other lol. She's a little over two years older than me. Anyway we kind of have this like zen thing lol. We know when the other one wants out, well I'm better at it than her honestly. So I'm out of the pool walking to the hot tub and I over hear him saying "so where are you from" I plop into the hot tub and say "in the middle of bum f##k nowhere mass. Hey I'm her brother." He kept trying to turn the topic to hitting on her and I kept the conversation far away. He was visibly annoyed with me. My sister was somewhat amused. I turned to her and said, "I'm getting pruney can we had back to our room" "Sure". She got a towel around her quick and while we were walking back I just asked "did I do good?' she told me that I had lol.

What I love to think about is that guy talking to his friends at some point later and just saying "the girl was totally into me and then her stupid little brother just came and f##ked it up." I like to think of the Morrigan quote (from dragon age origins) "Men are always willing to believe two things about women, one that they are helpless and that she find him attractive." Imagine this said with a haughty superior sounding female British accent it's better that way lol.

Edited by lykopis

@vortex13:

LMAO!

Your candidness is awesome, have I ever told you that? So refreshing and comforting and bloody hilarious! You take the minutiae of the everyday and make it fun and relatable and in such a uniquely self deprecating way that in no way takes away from your confidence. Seriously. Your sisters must spoil you.

Edited by InnerVenom123

I can't think of a question. I demand you give me a question to ask.

Posted by Vortex13

I can't think of a question. I demand you give me a question to ask.

I'll give you a couple. Are there pictures of me naked somewhere, and have I ever kissed a man.

Posted by Glitch_Spawn

@vortex13: YOu going to be drinking for three days straight. What's your drink of choice.

Posted by Vortex13

@vortex13: YOu going to be drinking for three days straight. What's your drink of choice.

Tequila. If I'm going to be drinking for three days straight I'm going to be doing it god damned properly. My preference would be to be on a beach in the Bahamas with a big storm coming in. Because then on the third day when the storm is much closer I can stand up on my feet shakily chuck one of the tequila bottles at the storm drop my pant's and yell "ya like whatcha see mother f##ker" if thunder sounds within minute and a half after I will take it as a no pull up my pants in shame and walk away.

Edited by Vortex13

@lykopis: Actually my two older ones used to kick my ass regularly lol. We get along for the most part now, we still get on each others nerves. They all think they can still tell me what to do and stuff. I realize that comes with being the youngest but for fricks sake I'm twenty-three flipping years old! Twenty-four on October tenth.

Posted by Xwraith

Are you at all proud that you can say "I was an archer before it was cool"?

Posted by Vortex13

@xwraith: I guess. I don't hate on new archers though, in fact I find it stupid that some people do. Since I was inspired to take it up from watching Robin Hood my claim to the activity is more legitimate than people who were inspired by Hunger Games/Arrow/Hawkeye/Brave? I understand the idea that they are all doing it because it's a fad or that they are freeloaders. That is probably true of some, most even, but that does not mean that some will genuinely enjoy and continue the activity throughout their life. I'm not one of those elitist who thinks newcomers should be looked down upon.

Posted by Xwraith

@vortex13: I actually have some interest in it, but none of the things you mention have anything to do with it (But the actual Green Arrow comics? That's a different story.)

I'm still not sure if I should learn archery or fencing, though - and I've wanted to be a fencer since I saw it at the 1996 Olympics.

Posted by russellmania77

Eat my shorts?

Edited by Fuchsia_Nightingale

Seen any Akira Kurosawa films ?

Edited by Vortex13
Posted by MysteriousUsername

Current favorite indie game?

Posted by Vortex13
Edited by Fuchsia_Nightingale
Posted by Vortex13

Current favorite indie game?

I'm honestly not that big of a gamer so I don't know what qualifies as an indie game lol.

Posted by MysteriousUsername

@vortex13: Just something you feel not enough people are playing.

Favorite indieish title right now?

Edited by Vortex13
Posted by Fuchsia_Nightingale

@vortex13:

Be on the look out for Rashomon and the Seven Samurai <3

Posted by Vortex13
Edited by Vortex13
Posted by MysteriousUsername
Posted by lykopis

Why do you think people would insert gerbils into their anus? How would that be enjoyable?

Favourite foreplay activity. For you and for your partner?

Would you eat the placenta of your child the mother of said child wished it?

What would you consider something which you would find the hardest to forgive someone for?

You can create a human being and are instructed to do so according to what you find is the most attractive. Go.

Same questions as above but this time, the most repulsive. (Screw being nice about it -- you won't be judged, for either response)

Banana or toilet roll holder? Which can you throw the highest into the air? With your less dominant arm.

Posted by Vortex13

1) Well some people are into anal and they have those sex toys with what I guess would be called nubs, and wriggling stuff. Personally I wouldn't do it, for two reasons, one the idea of having absolutely anything inserted into my rectum is undesirable to me especially something with claws. And two I do not believe in animal cruelty like that. I mean it doesn't want to be in there! Imagine your entire body put into some creature's ass with no warning your just suddenly there. You know what I'm probably going to have a nightmare tonight about being put into a whales bottom for the whale to get off. Actually I guess I have three reasons I wouldn't do it, if I'm getting off on it, it is completely unfair for that poor traumatized creature to not have the favor returned. And there is no way in hell I'm going to try and sexually satisfy a gerbil.

2) Geez is sex all that's on your mind tonight!? lol Ok uh... well I am a fan of kissing and uh, phalanges going places. I like foreplay that is pleasing for my partner, since it's not exactly hard for a person of my gender to be pleased so I want to be sure the other participating member is enjoying themselves as well. (I think I kept my response as family friendly as humanly possible given the question lol.)

3) ....Only if it was cooked and she had some as well. I'll try almost any kind of food once, but to me if your going to ask someone to eat something like that, you better cowboy up and have some yourself lol.

4) Changing the channel when I'm very interested in whats on the screen. Well that or killing/maiming/sexually abusing someone I care about. On the last one I won't kill the person but if he's a male, let's just say it'll be easier for him to cross his legs tightly than it would have been previously.

5) Ugh, a hard one! I'm really not picky at all but, lets see typically I do find short girls cute. I like dark hair, I also find short hair cute. Eyes that are pretty, doesn't matter the color just that they are pretty. Though I will say that a girl I dated in high school had, what still are to me the prettiest eyes I've seen. They were green with shades of blue and in the right light I swear there were flecks of yellow on the outskirts of the irises. She definitely had the most stunning eyes I've seen. But then there was this other girl in high school that I didn't really have a crush on but did notice her attractiveness and her eyes were almost black in color, but they were still pretty eyes to me. Ok legs.... I like strong legs. That kind of sounds weird to say but I do lol. chest I don't really care about the size. Honestly I don't. Breast are breast and in my opinion they can look good regardless of size lol. Rear... I like a shapely one, that does not mean large.... I guess for me it's more about shape than size. (again I feel really weird talking about this because I don't really even think about this lol) As for figure, either fit or pleasantly plump. I don't like girls who look like they are anorexic. Thin is fine if it is because they are fit but not if it's from not eating or dieting when the person has literally no need to. Race does not matter to me, however if the girl is white I really don't like the over tanned look. Like they spend an hour at a tanning salon everyday, that kind of tan.

6) Eight feet tall, covered in hair, disproportionately large forearms in comparison to the arms above the elbow's (Popeye style), covered in warts, no neck, two lazy eyes, back of the knee length hair that has literally never been combed, walks like this,

I can't really think of much more lol. There are most definitely other things I'd find repulsive physically that I either can not think of or are simply too ludicrous to put. Or they happen to be personality related which isn't allowed in my answer you shallow shallow girl =P.

6) I'll inform you once I get a banana.

Posted by Vortex13

@theacidskull: Haven't actually seen it yet. I'm planning to at some point. For the record I waited about 6 weeks before actually seeing the dark knight rises lol. For the same reason as this time actually, I'm waiting ti see them with my dad. He's a comic book fan himself and I'm pretty sure he was happy when I started reading them since it gave him an excuse to go to the comic book store with me so he could pick up his own comics lol.

Posted by Edamame

1. Ever been to Vermont?

2. Ever seen Shutter Island? If so, any thoughts on the film?

Posted by Vortex13

@theacidskull: Uh, no actually. I kind of got into them on my own without his guidence. He did however get my into old school punk rock. He introduced me to bands like Iggy and the Stooges, The Clash, The Ramones, The Dead Kennedy's, Black Flag, Velvet Underground and stuff like that. And that's only a fraction of the punk bands he introduced me to, let alone all this other music from bands he had records of on vinyl. The Who, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Jimmi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and the list goes on and on quite a bit. My dad is definitely, in terms of music, my spirit guide lol.

@edamame

I have been to Vermont and it is really beautiful there.

Nope, I have not seen shutter island. I tend to avoid movies that take place in mental hospitals =P

Posted by Dragonborn_CT

@vortex13: Do you believe that Flemeth is going to be the main villain in Dragon Age 3 - Inquisition? After all the previous game had been her set the stage for something big...

Pizza or cake?

How in the name of the Maker is Ser Cauthrien so goddamn powerful in Origins? She is almost as tough as High Dragons!!