Jeff Loeb wrote this? What happened to him? He does stuff like Long Halloween, Dark Victory, Superman/Batman, and then he writes this cr@p?
He was going through a very rough patch IIRC.
I think it just stems from an overall misunderstanding of the Ultimate U. He was never very involved in that line of books, and I guess he just thought it was 'edgy Marvel' and wrote a very generic and...poorly written book, really.