You vs Ellie [The Last of us]

@nickzambuto: I agree, most of us lose badly 10/10

@phantomlantern8: I'm shocked you read that essay.

@rogueshadow: How old is Ellie?

What makes any of you people think you're going to do better than this guy.

This girl is skilled. Most of us have never EVER, been in a real death fight. Unless your a cop, gangster, solider, or body guard you're usually not going to get into a bunch of death brawls.

@unknowzillagod: yup, you'll just dodge the bullets, and than just magically heal when Ellie sticks a knife in you. Seems legit.

@lukehero: She's 14, possibly 15 by the end.

50/50

@jokerpoker: Magically heal what scarcasm. What makes u think i will do nothing once she stucks a knife off me and my reflexes to beat sonic unleashed s rank no problem and my reflexes to beat a dodgeball match which is by using a tennis ball. I am not afraid to bite her neck of off and eat and spit out her flesh.

What makes u think i wont be able to get the first hit on her. 1 hit on ellie she will be eaten and put on an idiotic grave.

@jokerpoker: Come on. Dude has 14 posts and is talking crazy talk.

@jokerpoker: what makes u think i will do nothing after she stabbs me. Stay still that is the only chance she will kill me. What makes u think i wont get the 1st hit on her. If she stabs me i will grab her leaving the blade and bite of her neck. She is no stronger than i am and i am just as skilled as she is. Magically regen what am i wolverine. Haha very funny. I know bruce lee would curbstomp ellie and i am close to his strength. Trust me i dodged someone who nearly punched my face. And the tennis ball i was playing dodgeball with didnt hit me. I can do better than david because i did the same thing from the kick in karate. 1 freakn strike on ellie any resistance she has on me is futile. I am a merciless fighter.

@unknowzillagod: You're either a cute little kid, or an accomplished troll. Either way, good job.

OP: Ellie would wreck everyone on this site, all while reading her Savage Starlight comics.

@jaken7: Dude i aint no troll. Im probably the strongest out off everyone on this site. I have beaten up people with one hit using my fists. I broke their face for petesake. Im stronger and almost taller than my dad. In my neighborhood their was a protest going on for some reason i beat up those gangster flawless well almost. One of them sorta scratched my arm with a kitchen knife and my mom kinda fainted when i told her what happend. Even though the look of the scratch was little. I am not afraid to bite even. Once a schoolmate wanted to pick a fight on me because he was in detention because of me he barely did anything and when i punched him he went to the doctor but the principal did not get me in trouble because he was the one who started and was more of a trouble maker than i am. When i saw him he just went away and never spoke to me.

@unknowzillagod: Just stop...

She wins due to stealth. I'd win in a straight fight.

I stopped reading there.

This is just... just really sad.

First one to see wins this is clear.

Can't kill a young girl, so I retreat.

If it was knives only I would win, however both of us with a gun, she wins.

I can not shoot the broad side of a barn. It was always a joke with my friends that the safest place to be would be about 20 feet from me, I would never be able to hit you.

I have been practicing with a recurve bow lately though.

Gets a few laughs around here, I live in the deep south, everyone else has a house full of guns, I have a bow and about 30 knives, and various staves.

I use my 15 year old girlish charms to either become best friends or woo her.

no one here knows that i am like spiderman in senses. no one here knows that i have been on an adult game with the weaker guns but they still shoot and hit pretty hard and i won in that match against my friends because the way i handle a pistol is amazing. i have weaknesses with using rifles but for some reason im still better than friends with the rifle. once i snuck past the guy who stole my friend's psp. And hid by his doorstep and when he opened the door i quickly ran and opened the door and made him fell and broke every limb on his body. i interrogated him and if he did not answer in 10 seconds i would punch my usual bullet punch and already his nose bled. He told me where it was and i told him i am going to carry him and see if it was true then he told me he lied and it was somewhere else so i carried him or dragged him and what he said was true. i retrieved my friend's psp by sneaking past the rest of those gangsters but i got caught because i just peaked through the dumpster. but i beat them up so easily and their were 6 of them who were thin and weak only one fat dude was strong but one punch did the job and when the fat guy came and got my arm i punched that pussy who reacted so sensitively and i carried him from behind and threw him on the wall. u guys would probably think im not good at stealth compare how ellie peaks in the game and the bad guys dont see her. those enemies in the last of us i would curbstomp them because they are so stupid. the way they patrol is not how those guys i faught patrolled. those people in reality dont give warnings when they spot you they just come after u. i would beat the last of us game so easily if they replaced joel with me because the enemies are so dumb and i would run in circles against bloaters. If ellie was in my situation right now that fat guy would sit on her and the rest of the gangster would bring her in and rape her if they wanted to. i dont really know those guys but all i know was that they stole my friend's psp. i want a fair fight replace ellie with joel. He might beat me because he is stronger than me i think my punches are 2x the strength of his in comparison to joel punching henry. idk how i am gonna go with joel cuz he is a tough dude. i think i would know why he would fight me is becase i tortured ellie. I would probably run away if i saw joel with his flamethrower. I know that i can outrun joel but not outsmart him. the way he tricked ethan that was impressive. the best trick i saw ellie do was when james weakened his grip before david would chop her. My impressive feat was when two dudes were on both sides ready to get me with their baseball bats I just took the guy's bat kicked the other guy's balls and dual weilded the bats. but it was stupid cuz i did a double hit with the bats it hit each other and i let go so i decided to use my fists again.

P.S I am younger than ellie by 1 year

Depends what the situation is. If I'm in TLoU universe and I know about infected, bandits and whatnot, I will probably be more willing to kill a 14 year old girl. However, if it's me now, I probably would just go up to her and go "Hey, you should watch, there's someone in her trying to kill me" and then she stabs me in the neck a few times. Seriously, I wouldn't even consider that she'd be the one out to get me...

I'd Try some agent 47 and sam fisher ish and probably get shot in the ass...Nahh but i would empty my clip on her b4 i get shot..;)

I'd only win in a kickboxing/boxing match. Maybe unarmed vale tudo as well. But other than that I guess she would kill me. I suck at stealth. I'm a bad shot. And I can't heal myself.

You gonna slash and stab and impale her with your sword, wouldn't you?

@god_of_batman: lol u repeated your message twice or are u gonna edit it. Plus am I the only one here who can clearly beat up and torture ellie and can break planks of wood and use then as a sheild. I grew up in quite a shabby life. although the money my dad earns is over average but below rich, i still have a wild lifestyle. oh yah my strength i tested my self and i could lift an anaconda with both hands. Am I also the only one here who is young but can match up with joel. idk whether joel can curbstomp me or have a lot of pain trying but i know that i can curbstomp ellie very easily. i played the game in survivor and beat it. the game was easy. I never got caught but in situations when u had to fight i had difficulties espiacially the part when the retarted guy in the hospital came out and i immediatly got my flamethrower and killed him. I kinda have bullet proof skin. not really but mussels that are really hard and resistant against hard hits. barely any physical hits hurt me. Joel would regret playing punchies with me. i should let joel start and when he punches my arm maybe would hurt a little but not get bruised and the pain would last only 10 seconds. my punch on joel i win easily. playing punchies with ellie you guys should think about the results.

@ssejllenrad: she doesnt have a sword she has a switchblade that is small. if u are a big guy im sure u would survive. if u have hard skin like me u would survive 100%. but since u stated terrible aim not so sure. run towards her at top speed and before she turns around disarm her then beat her to death. i have an amazing shot with pistols. im like a pistol sniper and because this states there is a pistol this fight is perfect for me. if bow fight then 80% chance i would win. If rifle fight im terrible shot with it so 70% chance i would beat her because i can have a chance by disarming her again and beating her to death. if all weapons and i am sure ellie cannot handle a flamethrower 95% chance for me because i have the shorty, EL DIABLO, revolver and the pistol. with he shorty i can own her so many times. El DIABLO I can shoot her from anywhere. i am gonna win 100% with the fight they just stated. I can cut her limb by limb and i will leave one arm for me to stick that arm on the wall with the two knifes one on her primary arm and the other on her forearm and let her bleed and suffer to death. she would be dead from the extreme bleeding by the time i finish a star wars battlefront 2 match. i would probably break my psp accidentally if she screams suddenly then the next think i would do is remove every single finger from her living hand. if she tries to bite me then i would do the same thing to her that a bloater does to joel. imagine that guys. imagine me ripping her face like that. SICK.

p.s I dont kill people. its either i knock them unconscious or break their bones. but since this is a battle to death i'll tear her apart even if it means biting off her shoulder or ripping the flesh off her arms and all that's left of those parts are bones.

Ends in sex.

me vs joel.

joel: ellie, ellie, where is that girl, ELLIE, come on baby girl u got a swimming session today, the water is fresh and their are no infected come on. stop playing around ellie and...................... wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ellie whispering: joel

joel: omg come on ellie you can still live, ELLIE.......ELLIE!!!!!, ELLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

no, please don't do this to me.

narrator: joel in shock seeing ellie with her arm flesh torn and the other hanged as well as having no legs and her neck bitten off.

zilla or me: forgot my psp now im going good luck with that condition ell.........ie?

Joel: YOUUUUUUUU, YOU DID THIS U MOTHER******.

zilla: she started it well.

Joel: ILL KILL U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zilla: nvm gotta go run, don't wanna get my butt stabbed.

to be continued....

pls in the comic vine section tell me what joel is going to do.

Bro she's like... 2

Wait, what? Nah man, isn't she like, 16?

@comicstooge: nope she is 14. age doesnt matter though because a 13 yr old like me has extremly hard mussels, punches 2x harder than joel and can lift up 90+ kilos becuase i carried my dad with my back like how firemen did it. idk if i can carry 150 kilos because i dont see much people that heavy for me to carry but i did carry the metal thingy that weighs 60 i dont know what unit in the gym with 1 hand. I have fast reflexes and dodged a dodge ball or tennis ball that acts like one the speed of a motorcycle and dodged it by moving my torso to the side. wondering why i play the dangerous game. street rules man there aren't any. i one got my face smashed by a basketball and i didn't end up with a scratch or bruise. the game was called poison so i could not move. my stealth skills are amazing when i played the bb gun adult game and was sneaking past the enemy. my shot with a pistol is incredible but not with a rifle im horrible but still ok. if u wanna see the rest of my feats check the rest of my posts.

Im op. This is a bump.

I really hope you are joking. Please, tell me you are joking. If not, too many videogames, kid.

I stomp 10/10

Nah man, I don't know. I don't have a PS.

@unknowzillagod:

We got a badass over here.

Put me in a life & death situation with any one i'd kill them with ease as like a guy said "I have a family to go home to if you stand between that you lose."

Seriously how can that count she got slapped like three times than killed so how is she meant to legitimately hand to hand any one & win.

I dunno about you guys but I personally would go morals off against her. I may or may not have beaten the shit out of much younger kids when I was younger...

I can throw a knife for accuracy at about twenty feet, fired a gun a few times and I know some grappling. Maybe I'd win a straight fight.

I see we have a lot of phony badasses over here. Stop fooling yourselves most of you don't even exercise and work out. Most of us are soft from living a life filled will video games, TV, Internet, resturant food, and the ease of mondern life. Ellie on the other hand while small has been living the harsh realities of being in life and death situations every day. Unless you've actually killed someone then you don't even know if you have the guts to do it, when the time comes. Especially killing a little girl.

@monsterstomp: She's 14

@jaken7: cool...

'All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anyone who gets in the way of that is gonna lose.'

~ Rick Grimes.

Mine was from some guy on youtube lol he probably got inspired by that.

weaver stance

exhale

squeeze

@lukehero: oh killing a little girl huh, guess what if i saw her with a gun or knife and i am at a death situation i go all out. oooh most of us don't exercise in this modern world huh. maybe its what u live in but not me. by the way i am not joking about me being this strong. today i just played basketball and i have a ps3 but my internet sucks. i complete my games and don't play unless i get a new one. i spend my life beating up gangsters and playing a gun match, it hurts but i still live and this is an adult game. i wanted to be just as strong as bruce lee and i take karate lessons. I did something that bruce lee did that made my hands tough and i believe it was to put my hands on hot charcoal for 3 seconds. i wraped my hands with clothing after that cuz it hurts. seriously guys try it u will see. i also played metal gear solid which has more stealth experience than the last of us. i always practiced with a nerf gun with makes me pistol worthy. trying a bb gun is way more different but i used it a couple of times. i am not joking its true.

edited: U guys have to agree what i am saying now otherwise i know that u r either in love with ellie or u respect games more than yourself or reality.

" ONE PUNCH I LAY ON ELLIE HER SKULL OR JAW WILL BE BROKEN.

ONE STRIKE ON ELLIE I LAY ON ELLIE SHE WOULD HAVE NO WAY OUT.

I HAVE JUST AS MUCH ACCURACY AS SHE HAS

JUST SITTING ON HER BACK WOULD BREAK HER BACK

SHE CANNOT SNEAK PAST ME BECAUSE I AM AWARE OF SHADOWS AND SOMETIMES I NOTICE THINGS THAT ARE NOT IN MY FIELD OF VISION. ITS JUST SUDDEN THIS IS POSSIBLE U CANNOT ARGUE WITH THAT.

THIS IS A BATTLE WHERE NO ONE IS SO THIS GIVES ME AN EDGE BECAUSE IF I HEAR SOMETHING UNUSUAL FROM WHAT I DON'T NORMALLY HEAR I FEEL IT IS HER EVEN IF IT'S NOT THERE I HAVE SENSITIVE SENSES.

SHE CANNOT WALK WITHOUT MAKING A SOUND ESPECIALLY IN AN ABANDONED WAREHOUSE AND CAN MAKE THE SLIGHTEST I CAN HEAR EVEN THE QUIETEST STEP. PROOF ONCE MY FRIEND ALEX WANTED TO GIVE ME A JUMP SCARE AT SCHOOL HE WAS AS QUIET AS POSSIBLE I TURNED AROUND IMMEDIATELY AND SAW HIM AND I ONLY HEARD VERY LITTLE.

THIS IS NOT A LIE BECAUSE I'M NOT AVERAGE MY BRAIN JUST GETS PARANOID WHEN I AM FEELING SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT HERE. I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU HAVE THE SAME FEELING BUT I KNOW 100% THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE THE SAME ABILITY AS ME IT'S JUST NOT USUAL.

I PROMISE I AM NOT LYING ABOUT MY SENSES MY BRAIN JUST TELLS ME JUST AS LONG AS I AM NOT DREAMING THAT SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT HERE. BUT WHAT IS REALLY ANNOYING IS THAT SOMETIMES I HAVE THIS WEIRD SENSE EVEN IF I KNOW IT'S JUST A NORMAL GUY WALKING PAST ME.

THIS IS NO LIE I PROMISE.

@unknowzillagod: Jeez. I hate grammar Nazis, as I don't really care that much about internet format style. But, I literally can't understand anything you are typing.

@rogueshadow: how much ammo do I exactly have

guys by the way i faggot to mention that this type of thing that happens has a weird feeling. it feels like you have a brief headache and your instincts just tell u to turn around or look at that side u hear that is not the daily noise of this environment. it's like i'm not controlling my body well sort off. When i am doing an exam i can stop that instinct because i am occupied with a lot of people and the door closed with a teacher watching over us.

basically I have this ability turned on not manually but automatic when I feel unsafe and alone and this is just the right place for me to own ellie so bad. dodge ball makes me feel not alone but unsafe and aware of the ball so that's why i can dodge it. Even when i am in an open place with few people I can trust I know that I am open or exposed to an attack any time now.

@unknowzillagod: can you not type in all caps for about 20 sentences it's a little asinine

If you played tlou then you remember what Joel said about bbs a real gun has a heck more kick than a bb

Oh you have sensitive senses. And ellie doesn't heck she has a keen sense of hearing (listening mode)

sorry for my grammar i will try to fix that. what my weakness is that whenever i hold a rifle I shiver and get horrible accuracy. I did hold a missile launcher before. The tourists shoot it at an old broken tank. U guys think I can hold a rocket launcher because i'm strong. An average teenager can hold it with ease because of the surprising fact that rocket launchers are light. I'm serious it feels like you are carrying a bag that is only a few pounds.

Probably me.

@unknowzillagod: thank you