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#1 Edited by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

You get a .44 Magnum with one shot, have a kevlar vest, and a Machete. 3 scenarios: (1) The bear hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. Start 50 ft. apart. (2) The bear has a limp in one of it's front and back legs. They are both broken. Start 20 ft. apart. (3) The bear has handicapped vision, and is legally blind, only seeing a blur. Start 15 ft. apart.

#2 Posted by joewell (6612 posts) - - Show Bio

@ImTheDamnBatman: Starting distants?

#3 Edited by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

Hold on I'll change the OP according to scenarios.

#4 Posted by eatmore_payless (2209 posts) - - Show Bio

I WILL!

rush to the bear, and give him a big hug, then i will treat his wound and broken legs and we will ride off to the sunset the end.

#5 Edited by joewell (6612 posts) - - Show Bio

In that case i shoot him at 20ft, all rounds

#6 Posted by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

@joewell Are you accurate enough to fatally shoot him each time?

#7 Posted by joewell (6612 posts) - - Show Bio

@ImTheDamnBatman: Well yeah, i just wait til they get close then BOOM HEADSHOT

#8 Posted by Floopay (8721 posts) - - Show Bio

@ImTheDamnBatman said:

You get a .44 Magnum with one shot, have a kevlar vest, and a Machete. 3 scenarios: (1) The bear hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. Start 50 ft. apart. (2) The bear has a limp in one of in front and back legs. They are both broken. Start 20 ft. apart. (3) The bear has handicapped vision, and is legally blind, only seeing a blur. Start 15 ft. apart.

I take all 3.

Thanks for reading,

Floopay

#9 Posted by nickzambuto (14931 posts) - - Show Bio

I would like to think I can at least win round 3. Optimally I clear.

#10 Posted by Raizex (354 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh man oh man, the "You vs. ______" threads. Can't wait for people to overestimate themselves now. This is gonna be fun.

#11 Posted by Nefarious (22905 posts) - - Show Bio

I lose.

#12 Posted by HBKTimHBK (5296 posts) - - Show Bio

I am not accurate with a gun, I know this because I've never tried to see if I am or not.

#13 Posted by VeganDiet (1105 posts) - - Show Bio

@Raizex said:

Oh man oh man, the "You vs. ______" threads. Can't wait for people to overestimate themselves now. This is gonna be fun.

This.

#14 Edited by Sufferthorn (1738 posts) - - Show Bio

With a .44 Magnum?

I win.

With a .44 Magnum anybody should win. Don't underestimate yourself.

#15 Posted by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

...Just in case you guys forgot what a Polar Bear is like... http://animal.discovery.com/mammals/polar-bear/pictures/polar-bear-picture.jpg

#16 Posted by Reignmaker (2235 posts) - - Show Bio

I started the "You vs." thread phenomena on ComicVine. Just wanted to say that. Yes, I do feel special.

#17 Posted by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

Also this, for size comparison. A little graphic to the squimish... http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2005/06/10/250239/PolarBearMar2005070.jpg

#18 Posted by Immortal777 (7735 posts) - - Show Bio

I lose I BFR myself by running away no way will I take the chance of killing a bear with one bullet. WTF am I supposed to do with a machete that involves CQC where I wouldn't want to be.The bear would only need to hit me once and I be down for the count especially if it's pissed.

#19 Posted by comicace3 (6593 posts) - - Show Bio

I would win all three rounds!... by making friends with the bear, treating his wounds, and guiding him while he is blind...

#20 Posted by Raizex (354 posts) - - Show Bio

@Immortal777 said:

I lose I BFR myself by running away no way will I take the chance of killing a bear with one bullet. WTF am I supposed to do with a machete that involves CQC where I wouldn't want to be.The bear would only need to hit me once and I be down for the count especially if it's pissed.

Lol pretty sure a polar bear can run faster, unless you're pulling a Usian Bolt. Please stay safe.

#21 Posted by Sufferthorn (1738 posts) - - Show Bio

@Immortal777 said:

I lose I BFR myself by running away no way will I take the chance of killing a bear with one bullet. WTF am I supposed to do with a machete that involves CQC where I wouldn't want to be.The bear would only need to hit me once and I be down for the count especially if it's pissed.

Polar bears are faster than Humans, in Scenario 1 you shoot it in the Head and then Run. If you get caught, fight with the Machete

Scenario 2: Shoot it in the head and Run.

Scenario 3: Shoot it in the head....and run

Don't be a wuss guys. You have to fight in a situation like that. You have to fight like hell.

#22 Posted by Immortal777 (7735 posts) - - Show Bio

@Raizex said:

@Immortal777 said:

I lose I BFR myself by running away no way will I take the chance of killing a bear with one bullet. WTF am I supposed to do with a machete that involves CQC where I wouldn't want to be.The bear would only need to hit me once and I be down for the count especially if it's pissed.

Lol pretty sure a polar bear can run faster, unless you're pulling a Usian Bolt. Please stay safe.

It hasn't eaten in 2 weeks in the first round It's legs are broken in the sec round and it's blind in the third all of which help to make it easier to run away from.

#23 Posted by Sufferthorn (1738 posts) - - Show Bio

@Immortal777:

Dude...in Round 1 he's running faster than usual....

#24 Posted by Immortal777 (7735 posts) - - Show Bio

@Sufferthorn: Where in the OP does it say the bear is running.

#25 Posted by Sufferthorn (1738 posts) - - Show Bio

@Immortal777:

Nevermind....I think you would die.

#26 Posted by jwalser3 (5279 posts) - - Show Bio
  1. I lose. Badly.
  2. See number one.
  3. IMO I think I could pull it off.

@Raizex said:

Oh man oh man, the "You vs. ______" threads. Can't wait for people to overestimate themselves now. This is gonna be fun.

Lol

#27 Posted by Sufferthorn (1738 posts) - - Show Bio

@jwalser3:

You kidding me? With broken legs the Polar Bear will be easy to headshot... Round 2 and 3 are a given.

Round 1 is tricky because people like us could get nervous and miss. But a shot from a .44 is enough to at least slow it down. If you go for the headshot and hit the body, like the shoulder. You can run away and perhaps escape. If not, you can hope to get lucky with the Machete.

So to re-evaluate

Round 1 for me: 6.5/10 for me

Round 2: 9/10

Round 3: 10/10

#28 Posted by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

@Sufferthorn You seem to be assuming the Polar Bear won't even fight back. This is one of the largest mammals on the planet.

#29 Posted by The Stegman (26005 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't need weapons, I can beat it...BEAR handed. 
huh?? huh??? See what I did there??

#30 Posted by Dru_zod (213 posts) - - Show Bio

@ImTheDamnBatman:

1; I take the gun put it my mouth and pull the trigger

2;I stay Absolutely still and hope it doesn't notice me

3;I spread ketchup over myself, put an apple in my mouth and close my eyes

#31 Posted by starrk_coyote (600 posts) - - Show Bio

@eatmore_payless said:

I WILL!

rush to the bear, and give him a big hug, then i will treat his wound and broken legs and we will ride off to the sunset the end.

yap, that is my answer :D

#32 Posted by jwalser3 (5279 posts) - - Show Bio

@Sufferthorn:I didn't read that back legs part. Yeah I could possible handle it....maybe.

#33 Edited by Sufferthorn (1738 posts) - - Show Bio

@ImTheDamnBatman said:

@Sufferthorn You seem to be assuming the Polar Bear won't even fight back. This is one of the largest mammals on the planet.

You broke it's legs. It'll TRY to fight back....

1st one is the only risky one. It's headshot or die.

#34 Posted by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

@Sufferthorn Broken legs are an annoyance. This is an enraged animal we're talking about. HUMANS with broken legs have been know to powerhouse through them. Also, you get one shot and then you have to get in close. How will you survive a massive paw bigger than your face?

#35 Edited by Immortal777 (7735 posts) - - Show Bio

Just because Chuck Norris fought a bear in a movie and survived doesn't mean you will.

#36 Posted by ShootingNova (19024 posts) - - Show Bio

@HBKTimHBK said:

I am not accurate with a gun, I know this because I've never tried to see if I am or not.

#37 Posted by Bane_of_sith (2796 posts) - - Show Bio

I shoot all the time..one 44 mag to the head will certainly kill this bear,,,if one is brave enough to stand their ground and shoot the bear as he closes in on you, than you have a chance but nerves might get the best of you. I was chased by a black bear,, it was terrifying, given a chance for revenge I think I could take this,,or I die trying like brad Pitt in legends of the fall lol

#38 Posted by IfDCRuledTheWorld (673 posts) - - Show Bio

I may win in round 3. The other two rounds....I'm a goner.

#39 Edited by Kevhunt (113 posts) - - Show Bio

What ever you do, DO NOT SHOOT IT IN THE HEAD, there are recorded attacks of grizzlies being shot in the head five times with a .44 magnum before dying. In all honest though put the gun to your own head and pull the trigger if it would be the first time shooting a hand gun. 

#40 Posted by Kevhunt (113 posts) - - Show Bio

Actually shooting oneself in the head is the best option in pretty much all of these scenarios 

#41 Edited by MorganFreeman (446 posts) - - Show Bio

@ImTheDamnBatman said:

You get a .44 Magnum with one shot, have a kevlar vest, and a Machete. 3 scenarios: (1) The bear hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. Start 50 ft. apart. (2) The bear has a limp in one of it's front and back legs. They are both broken. Start 20 ft. apart. (3) The bear has handicapped vision, and is legally blind, only seeing a blur. Start 15 ft. apart.

It's really all or nothing with the bullet. Getting into swinging distance with an injured bear is still a horrible idea unless I get incredibly lucky and slash an eye. The only way I'm outrunning him is if he suddenly loses interest in me mid-run or if I shoot him in a way that makes running too painful. Too painful to bear!

But yeah, either the bullet kills it or it kills me. I've shot a .44 two or three time and hit within the bullseye range most of the time at 50 feet, which is where we shoot from when we go shooting every other month or so. 15-20 feet is certainly possible but I have no problem admitting the shaking (we all would be, be honest) would probably make it tougher than the 50 foot shot.

I'm gonna say the bear wins all except for possibly round 3. If I can shoot then immediately haul it outta there, maybe the wound will somehow kill it (bleed out, infection) while it stumbles around blindly unable to locate me. I'd have to move quickly, though. I'm in decent shape but I'm fairly certain even an injured bear would catch up to me unless I make it up a tree it cannot or would not climb due to the injuries, and I wouldn't be shocked if the bear's sense of smell would lead the animal to me.

#42 Posted by deaditegonzo (3690 posts) - - Show Bio

3) This one seems the easiest, but once I thought about it, I remembered. Bears have one of the keenest senses of smell in predators. It is in fact, their go to sense. If he is within 15 feet of me, its likely cause he stalked me via smell, and already has the bead on me. Id hope I even get the chance to shoot at him, but in all likelihood, im probably only aware of him in the deepest, subconscious part of my being where my animal instinct still resides. Most brown bear variants can run at around 30+ mph, but to certain, I looked up a Polar Bears top speed. Apparently it is a 25MPH burst. Olympic runners could beat that for a short while, I cannot even approach it. Also, being blind, it is probably EXTREMELY aggressive. It will charge me as violently as it can, because it is a target for other bears.

Result? Dead

2) This one is probably my best shot. Polar Bears weigh up to 1500 Lbs, the 44 Magnum is a lower calibre than what would be suggested for this quarry. I have some room, to attempt a run for it, but the police consider a person armed with a knife deadly within a radius of 21 feet, I believe. This is polar bear with razor sharp claws and is on average 10 mph faster than a human, at twenty feet im screwed. Except, this one has a limp, this gives me a chance. And at 20 ft, Id be deadly accurate under normal conditions. But im sure id be nervous, and a 44 Magnum isnt the gun im most familiar with. Still, I see a couple of options. 1) aim for the kill shot, its already injured, another injury of any kind may take the wind out of its sails, especially if it hasnt eaten in days. 2) Aim for the uninjured front leg. If I do hit, this bear is likely going to get a death sentence. Its ability to hunt or avoid danger is now compromised completely. Im likely to have bear steaks myself, using my trusty machete for carving, if I come back to this spot tomorrow.

Result? Good Odds of Survival AND bear steaks

1) Ooh, didnt notice the bear hadnt eaten in two weeks. This one comes down to the fat stores it already had (a common bear ability). If it is already malnourished, it will likely be insanely aggressive, but quite frail. A Single shot could scare it away. If it had built up fat, then it is essentially just a standard polar bear, and to take it down with just one shot from a 44 magnum is a feat I could not accomplish more than probably 25% of the time (probably less), and my knife is useless unless I can just wound it enough for the bear to think im a fellow bear and I mean business. But if its hungry, that doesnt even matter.

Result? Dead or Only a little Dead

The worst thing is, the kevlar wont save you, it will just prolong your agony. :(

#43 Posted by Laurcus (1303 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, I have experience with guns, so I stomp in all 3 rounds. Even if it doesn't quite die from the magnum shot, (bullet could glance off the skull) it's not gonna be in any condition to fight. So then I smack it in the face with the machete until it dies.

#44 Posted by FourthDeity (2234 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd probably be paralyzed with fear LOL

#45 Posted by Hksaru (463 posts) - - Show Bio

Kite the bear 'till a clear head shot comes or it growls at me and shoot it in the mouth

#46 Posted by TheBane2890 (1958 posts) - - Show Bio

Round 1: Won't take the chance of the bear getting close, so I'll use the gun.

Round 2 and 3: Hello Machete! That bear will get sliced up real nice. My speed will be the advantage in these rounds, since in one round it can barely walk, and the other it can't see. Circle around and hack away! I wonder how much I can sell it's meat for....

#47 Posted by Pyrogram (41269 posts) - - Show Bio

Most people will win 3 rounds with a gun and a machette...

Online
#48 Posted by beatboks1 (7525 posts) - - Show Bio

I may not have used a gun in a fee years but as an ex SAS ricle specialist i'm reasonably sure i'd be wearing a bear rug. Now without a gun I'm FUBARed and how

#49 Posted by ImTheDamnBatman (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

I think you all are underestimating the bear here. A Polar Bear's paw alone is bigger than your head. If you get in close to use the machette, it won't be as simple as chopping him up. An enraged bear only needs to clip you once to potentially fatally wound you.

#50 Posted by Captain_Awesome85 (452 posts) - - Show Bio

Round 1: Try to wound the bear and run away. Most likely wont escape, polar bears are much bigger, faster, stronger, and can smell baby seals through the ice so since hiding isnt an option I'm most likely lunch. Bear Wins

Round 2: With two broken legs I would stick with the same strategy of trying to further wound it, ideally shooting out one of its remaining good legs would give me a chance to swing at it with the machete but this would still be a challenge to stay out of its reach. If it was a sharper sword further wounding it would help if I could just make it bleed out, but trying to hack up an animal with skin thick enough to survive in these temperatures would be a chore in itself. Bear Wins

Round 3: This would obviously be the best chance chance a human would have against the bear in these conditions. Due to the previously listed points that would still be a challenge. There would be no way to sneak up on the bear due to its other senses, and I've never shot a hand gun with this much power before so I'm not 100% on my aim. This round I would have to rely on its previous wounds and hope that I'm smarter than the average bear. By keep my distance and trying to just gradually wound the bear I think I may take this one but it would still be much closer than I hope. I finally get to eat polar bear, I Win.