You vs a Grizzly Bear

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#1 Edited by InnerAssassin (299 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

You have 5 years to prep to fight a bloodlusted grizzly bear can you do it? When the final battle happens can you do it all you get is a standard katana but you cannot practice with it during your 5 years of prep. No other waepons other than the katana may be used during the fight!

Also during your prep your real life is paused you do not have to worry about anything like bills or family problems it will be all be taken care of. Fight takes place at a barren flat grassland starting 25 ft apart.

Can you do it?

#2 Posted by Wolfrazer (2350 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Nope lol.

#3 Posted by joewell (5112 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I buy a rifle and shoot it

Never said i couldn't

#4 Edited by Wolfrazer (2350 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio
@joewell said:

I buy a rifle and shoot it

Never said i couldn't

Sorta did given that we only get a katana to use. But then again yes, there is that loophole.
#5 Posted by The_Lunact_And_Manic (2922 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@InnerAssassin said:

You have 5 years to prep to fight a bloodlusted grizzly bear can you do it? When the final battle happens can you do it all you get is a standard katana but you cannot practice with it during your 5 years of prep.

What the hell is prep for then?

#6 Posted by InnerAssassin (299 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@The_Lunact_And_Manic: To trainyour body physically and mentally build up muscle mass?

#7 Posted by joewell (5112 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@Wolfrazer: But it never said we couldn't get other weapons

#8 Posted by InnerAssassin (299 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@Wolfrazer said:

@joewell said:

I buy a rifle and shoot it

Never said i couldn't

Sorta did given that we only get a katana to use. But then again yes, there is that loophole.

fixed!

#9 Posted by The_Lunact_And_Manic (2922 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@InnerAssassin: Ok...

In prep time I would BFR myself and go to a cave in North Pole and live there forever, I can't take out a bear without my superpowers, or a gun.

#10 Posted by Mycroftian (109 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I spend my five years of vacation with bottomless pockets doing whatever the hell I want, then get killed by a bear at the end.

Life well spent.

#11 Posted by joewell (5112 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@InnerAssassin: Oh well, were do we fight at?

#12 Posted by InnerAssassin (299 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@joewell: Ahh rookie mistake you fight in a flat grassland!

#13 Posted by joewell (5112 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@InnerAssassin: Starting distends?

#14 Edited by theweltman (22 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Practice for five years making wooden katanas with the same proportions as the Katana I am going to use and throwing them at a makeshift bear dummy. I will train nonstop until I am a marksman in terms of throwing Katanas. After five solid years of training in this attack alone I will probably be pretty damn good at it so I wait until I am somewhat close to the Grizzly and throw it into the Bears eye remember i've trained for five years doing this attack alone so it is possible that I will hit it's eye and destroy it....the bear won't die and most likely be thrown into a beastly bloodlust mode and dismember me but that bear will sure as hell regret f**king with the likes of me...

I win 1/10 if i'm lucky though....

#15 Posted by Cybrilious4 (296 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I spend my 5 years training with Zangief and get juiced up. Who needs a Katana?

#16 Posted by Imagine_Man15 (1610 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@theweltman said:

Practice for five years making wooden katanas with the same proportions as the Katana I am going to use and throwing them at a makeshift bear dummy. I will train nonstop until I am a marksman in terms of throwing Katanas. After five solid years of training in this attack alone I will probably be pretty damn good at it so I wait until I am somewhat close to the Grizzly and throw it into the Bears eye remember i've trained for five years doing this attack alone so it is possible that I will hit it's eye and destroy it....the bear won't die and most likely be thrown into a beastly bloodlust mode and dismember me but that bear will sure as hell regret f**king with the likes of me...

I win 1/10 if i'm lucky though....

/thread

#17 Posted by Cybrilious4 (296 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

This is a bad thread, no one wins!

#18 Posted by deaditegonzo (948 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I spend five years learning and experimenting in genetics. Eventually I master how to splice human and animal DNA. I consider my opponent and know what I must do, I arm myself with Shark Teeth, Gorilla arms, the regeneration of a lizard, the leg muscles of a cheetah, the claws of a velociraptor, and I am ready, all the attributes of the Grizzly Bears natural predators.

Or I die after procrastinating for five years, probably more out of shape than I was when it began.

#19 Posted by Militaris (74 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Should be able to win the occasional encounters, would spend the time exercising, learning how to sword fight and studying bears and their attack.

#20 Posted by Wolfrazer (2350 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio
@theweltman said:

Practice for five years making wooden katanas with the same proportions as the Katana I am going to use and throwing them at a makeshift bear dummy. I will train nonstop until I am a marksman in terms of throwing Katanas. After five solid years of training in this attack alone I will probably be pretty damn good at it so I wait until I am somewhat close to the Grizzly and throw it into the Bears eye remember i've trained for five years doing this attack alone so it is possible that I will hit it's eye and destroy it....the bear won't die and most likely be thrown into a beastly bloodlust mode and dismember me but that bear will sure as hell regret f**king with the likes of me...

I win 1/10 if i'm lucky though....

You can't train with the katana.
#21 Posted by theweltman (22 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@Wolfrazer said:

@theweltman said:

Practice for five years making wooden katanas with the same proportions as the Katana I am going to use and throwing them at a makeshift bear dummy. I will train nonstop until I am a marksman in terms of throwing Katanas. After five solid years of training in this attack alone I will probably be pretty damn good at it so I wait until I am somewhat close to the Grizzly and throw it into the Bears eye remember i've trained for five years doing this attack alone so it is possible that I will hit it's eye and destroy it....the bear won't die and most likely be thrown into a beastly bloodlust mode and dismember me but that bear will sure as hell regret f**king with the likes of me...

I win 1/10 if i'm lucky though....

You can't train with the katana.

I am not training with the katana I am merely making replicas.

#22 Posted by Wolfrazer (2350 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio
@theweltman said:

@Wolfrazer said:

@theweltman said:

Practice for five years making wooden katanas with the same proportions as the Katana I am going to use and throwing them at a makeshift bear dummy. I will train nonstop until I am a marksman in terms of throwing Katanas. After five solid years of training in this attack alone I will probably be pretty damn good at it so I wait until I am somewhat close to the Grizzly and throw it into the Bears eye remember i've trained for five years doing this attack alone so it is possible that I will hit it's eye and destroy it....the bear won't die and most likely be thrown into a beastly bloodlust mode and dismember me but that bear will sure as hell regret f**king with the likes of me...

I win 1/10 if i'm lucky though....

You can't train with the katana.

I am not training with the katana I am merely making replicas.

Oh whoops, overlooked that bit.
#23 Posted by TotalBalance (343 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I shave my chest hair into a triangle and win with only my bare hands....

Street Fighter X Tekken
#24 Posted by Immortal777 (3268 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Well since I seem to be able to wear what I want with my unlimited amount of money I make some type of power armor to fight the bear with.

#25 Posted by SSJLozza (1116 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

In all honesty I'm not sure. I would need a degree of luck to win this one, as the bear can kill me in one, but then a katana is absolutely razor sharp and could kill the bear in one with a lucky slice. The prep time could be used to train in agility and strength, as well as martial arts that could come in handy if employed correctly. Even so I'm gonna say the bear kills me 7/10.

#26 Posted by Sufferthorn (1597 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Maybe......, 5 years is a lot of time to train.

#27 Edited by jackofspades (1839 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

yes ill win ,first ill get some fish and while the bear is eating ill cut his head off and put him on my wall

#28 Posted by trebean (196 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Using my shitload of cash, I employ the likes of Big Hairy Muscle Men, Expert Hunters, Trained Animal Poachers and a variety of MMA Pros,

after the battle I sell the Grizzly Carcass online, get a shitload of cash for it.

Or for a more practical solution, I'd pretend to be dead, the Grizzly goes away, forfeiting the match, I WIN!

#29 Posted by ygoox (62 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Well, there are some Africans techniques about fighting lions. In synthesis is put some protection on one of your arms and use a sharp blade in the other one, let the beast bite the protected arm(breaking some of your bones) and proceed to stab the lion in vital point like throat and eyes. I think the best shot at killing a freaking bear is using something like that.

With just a katana is simply impossible. Maybe there was some samurai that could be able to kill a bear with just one katana in his underwear, but for everyone else is impossible.

#30 Posted by InnerAssassin (299 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@Cybrilious4 said:

This is a bad thread, no one wins!

Don't comment saying it's a bad thread. It obviously isn't half bad.

#31 Edited by WarlordEternal (614 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I don't think I'll win but I'll still fight the bear. Be one hell of a way to go out.

Though if I train my body for 5 years I might be able to pull it off seeing as how a man named C. Dale Peterson killed a bear with his bare hands.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/

#32 Posted by 14NC3 (352 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

I spend 5 years with the circus learning about bear wrestling and building my body up do be peak human or somewhere close to that level. Then if the training works then i wrestle the bear to the ground and stab it with my katana :)

#33 Posted by dondave (7659 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Look's like I have to bring out my Bear Repellent Bat Spray

#34 Posted by Decoy Elite (28581 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

Robot vs Grizzly Bear? Pah, a simple fight!

Also the name of my band.

#35 Posted by Stompa (827 posts) - 4 months, 19 days ago - Show Bio

@ygoox said:

Well, there are some Africans techniques about fighting lions. In synthesis is put some protection on one of your arms and use a sharp blade in the other one, let the beast bite the protected arm(breaking some of your bones) and proceed to stab the lion in vital point like throat and eyes. I think the best shot at killing a freaking bear is using something like that.

With just a katana is simply impossible. Maybe there was some samurai that could be able to kill a bear with just one katana in his underwear, but for everyone else is impossible.

Just my thought. If i would be able to train for 5 years through with the katana and with a proper trainer i might, i repeat i MIGHT be able to somehow land a killing strike before the bear rips me apart but without training of the only weapon i am allowed it´s useless. I think in this battle the viner with the funniest answer wins....i bet my money on the katana thrower. :p

#36 Edited by Frocharocha (1094 posts) - 4 months, 18 days ago - Show Bio

This should awnser your question. They beated the grizzly Bear with batons and he didn't even feel the blows

Assuming that you are a rainbown belt in karate and is a master on Bear anatomy, i don't think you stand much of a chance.

#37 Posted by TheCheeseStabber (3493 posts) - 4 months, 17 days ago - Show Bio

I spend 5 years pumping up on steroids...

When I finally meet the Bear all the steroids drain from my body into my pants.

Because its a GRIZZLY BEAR!

I die. :3

#38 Posted by Captain_Awesome85 (452 posts) - 4 months, 17 days ago - Show Bio

I drink poison before the fight, it eats me we both lose

Double KO

#39 Posted by SpideyPresence (1667 posts) - 4 months, 17 days ago - Show Bio

In 5 years, I'll be able to defeat the bear. In my first year, I will start various forms of MMA and Parkour and begin touching up on animal fighting techniques.

For my second year, I will start to study bear anatomy and the bears weakest points I will then buy a life size model of a grizzly bear.

For my third year, I will start to practice killing bears by fighting slightly lesser animals and practicing on the model.

I will spend my fourth year training with professionals, and men who have fought bears.

In my fifth year, I will start practice with a replica wooden Katana of the one I would be using with the fight.

I will drink a deadly slow reacting poison before the fight. Slow enough that it won't hinder my body during the battle. If I make it out of the fight, I will have the antidote in a safe place.

I think i should make it out alive 6 - 7/10 encounters with 5 years prep.

But even if i don't i will definitely kill that bear.

#40 Posted by Outside_85 (4669 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

I will spend my five years and unlimited resourced by systematically devastating the bears habitat, if it moves on I will ruin that as well. When the five years are up the starved thing will probably be happy to die :D

#41 Edited by AmazingScrewOnHead (691 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

Il make myself a bear proof suit and talk to some survivors of bear attacks and depending on the sword go to town on the bear.

#42 Posted by AmazingScrewOnHead (691 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

Dont know how effective the Katana is going to be, Bears are tough animals, covered in a thick lair or fur fat and bone, its gona need to be one of the best.

#43 Posted by Spartan101 (1530 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

yep i win

#44 Posted by Floopay (5644 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

I'm already very well trained with a katana and other bladed weapons. And yes, I do believe I can take this. A katana at full swing can breech plate mail armor and a single stab can go through steel. These weapons can literally chop a man in half with but a moderate amount of force applied to it.

If I had time to train physically for this, I would destroy this Grizzly Bear.

Thanks for reading,

Floopay

#45 Posted by Joygirl (6129 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

I use my prep to kill bearcubs. And kill bigger and bigger bears over the years until I am a bear-killing master.

Then I win.

Online
#46 Edited by Cable_Extreme (730 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

I would spend my five years of prep studying the vital pressure points on a bear. To see where my Katana would hurt the most. I would start off probably slicing its legs so it can't out maneuver me, then i could kite it around and come in and slash and come out. I would also wear bullet proof kevlar lined with titanium plates. I would also put on other stuff that are not weapons like pain killer encase i get hurt so i can continue fighting, that is if the bear can get past the armor with his claws. Which he probably could after a few hits so i would have to target vital points on his body to try and get a quick kill. If i can't maneuver fast enough, keeping the katana pointed at him i can swipe at the claws he raises up at me and maim him to reduce his speed so i can then target the vital points like behind his shoulder to his heart or through the eyes. I can even blind it with my sword, or cut his jugular and run and watch him bleed out.. It would be a tough job, but after five years of prep, i would be a lot more ready than I am now.

#47 Posted by CadenceV2 (9963 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

I already fought a Grizzly and won.

True story bro.

#48 Posted by mightypug78 (240 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

we both lose, i give bear fatal case of indigestion.

#49 Posted by Pyrogram (11070 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

@mightypug78 said:

we both lose, i give bear fatal case of indigestion.

#50 Posted by Jean199999 (479 posts) - 4 months, 15 days ago - Show Bio

I spend the five remaining years of my life living in indecent luxury, reading all the books & comics I've ever wanna read, dining in the finest places in the world and test driving all the cars I see on TV.

@InnerAssassin said:

during your prep your real life is paused you do not have to worry about anything like bills or family problems it will be all be taken care of

That means all my expenses during this prep time right? (diners, car rentals,spas, hotels ect...) cause this will affect greatly my resolve to "actually do the prep."

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