You and friends vs The Goatman

Witness painting of The Goatman:

You are camping with your friends at Beltsville, Maryland at night when you start telling a creppy story about The Goatman of Maryland:

The Goatman is a hominid cryptid most commonly associated with Louisiana, Maryland and Texas. It is described as a hybrid creature; part man and part goat. Some claim it is a relative of the New Orleans evil cupacabra like cryptid the Grunch. The urban legends of them often tells of it killing young lusting couples in parked cars or scouring neighborhoods killing family pets. There are also tales of them breaking into peoples houses and usually the raping of it's victims. And many attest from the areas that he haunts, it does not matter if your a man or woman he will overtake you and have sex with you none the less.

ccording to legend, Goatman is an axe-wielding, half-man, half-animal creature that was once a scientist who worked in the Beltsville Agricultural Research Center. The tale holds that he was experimenting on goats, the experiment went awry, and he began attacking cars with an axe, roaming the back roads of Beltsville, MD. A variation of the legend tells of Goatman as an old hermit who lives in the woods, seen walking alone at night along Fletchertown Road.

After telling the Legend you starting hearing strange noises when suddenly a half man half goat man jumps out of the trees with a huge Axe with the purpose of killing your friends. Who wins?

So i gathered some of i'ts powers:

-Super human strength. A tale tells that The goatman killed 19 people, some of them even cops. He also has the strength to break doors.

-Super agility and speed. A farmer reported the Goatman evading his gunfire.

-Super human endurance and stamina: A farmer said he shoot Goatman while he was distract killing his chickens. The Goatman screamed and ran into the swamp.

@Frocharocha said: it does not matter if your a man or woman he will overtake you and have sex with you none the less.

Well, it's time to get laid, gentlemen. (nohomo)

Me and my friends we would all piss our pants and start running and he would hunt us down and pluck out our kidneys.

If me and my husband have our hunting shotguns then he should be dead from having deer slugs lodged into his organ cavity and tearing out massive holes in his back. Whether or not my courage holds depends on how comparable managing to stay calm during moose attack (it makes sense in context) is to this situation.

@Lord_Johnathan said:

If me and my husband have our hunting shotguns then he should be dead from having deer slugs lodged into his organ cavity and tearing out massive holes in his back. Whether or not my courage holds depends on how comparable managing to stay calm during moose attack (it makes sense in context) is to this situation.

Well, never go outside without weapons.

The survivors, who, of course, remain unidentified, claimed that the Goatman violently hacked it’s victims to pieces with an axe, all the while emitting ghastly sounds only the “devil himself” would make. According to this account, when the local authorities finally arrived on the scene all that was left of the bloodbath were half-eaten limbs and a bloody trail leading to an ominous looking cave. The police, it should be noted, have no written record of this tragic affair.

I seductively dance to this song

I'd mess the goatman up. This is Spite.

it doesn't matter if you're a goatman, one of my friends will try to overtake you and have sex with you none the less.

@Thor's hammmer said:

it doesn't matter if you're a goatman, one of my friends will try to overtake you and have sex with you none the less.

So, they are bisexual? lol. Wouldn't the girls try to do that?

@Frocharocha: Use rapex and eat broken glass, we take straws then when it is stunned we run it down with a friend's minivan or a lexus

@Rumble Man said:

@Frocharocha: Use rapex and eat broken glass, we take straws then when it is stunned we run it down with a friend's minivan or a lexus

I going to ask my friend to wear one of those if i ever have one lol.

@Frocharocha: also said friend gets goat head mask with pink ribbon to appeal to the creature's bestial urges