Batman and Wolverine suck.
Batman's a rich guy with toys. And his gadgets, while advanced for the real world, might as well be stone tools in the context of Comic Book World. In Comic Book World, Tony Stark's gadgetry lets him fly at supersonic speeds, fire magic "repulsor" rays, project magic "force fields", and bestows godlike strength. Reed Richards throwaway afterthought gadgets defy comprehension. And Batman has batarangs and a grapnel gun. And a car. His car doesn't even fly. Batman doesn't even fly....he's called Batman and he doesn't fly. But he can beat anyone because he's the best at everything in the whole world of all time. He's the best fighter, the best tactician, the best detective, the best escape artist, the best chef, and he can play guitar better than Eddie Van Halen and Jimi Henrix combined. Absolutely hateful character.
Wolverine - same basic thing as Batman. Back in the "All New All Different X-Men" days, Wolverine was a fun character. Let's break him down:
Like all the X-Men of that era, he was sort of a personification of his homeland. Nightcrawler was from Germany, so he was a sort of gargoyle-inspired devil-monster looking guy. Storm was a rain goddess. Banshee screamed like a Banshee. Etc. Etc. Wolverine was a wild animal mountain man.
He was not a Cool Leather Jacket Motorcycle Man. Cool Leather Jacket Motorcycle Man is a different archetype than Close To Nature Wild Animal Instinct Man.
Wolverine's character was cast from the same mold as Conan of Cimmeria. Both characters were all about wild, untamed, natural killer instinct. They're wild animals...when you see Wolverine, the character should (if only in a subliminal sense) make you think of the Canadian Rockies and Mother Nature at her most tooth-and-fang blood-and-claw amoral viciousness. He should be (and was at one time) the Spirit of the Wild in superhero form. That's his thing...that's the "vibe" Wolverine should put out.
This is why all the things that've been tacked onto the character are so lame, and why Wolverine is now just as lame and hateful as Batman. Wolverine's no longer about Wild Animal Instinct, he's become something different.
Like, when did he become a "martial arts expert"? Wolvie fans always bring up how he's a martial arts expert...not just a skilled and scrappy fighter, but an expert in formalized systems of fighting. Is there anyone else who sees that "martial arts expert" totally goes against a character who's supposed to be the personification of killer animal instinct? Martial arts are artificial, and the mental attitude that goes with them is all about modifying and controlling your natural impulses. Making Wolverine a martial arts expert is totally opposed to what the character should be about.
And then there's the stupid healing factor that's gotten so far out of control. The original idea was that since he healed faster than normal, you could have a situation where he keeps fighting despite being a bloody and beaten mess. Real wolverines had a reputation for this...they were said to be so mean they'd fight bears, and chase the bears off through sheer tenacious meanness and viciousness despite being beat up and injured. That's the whole reason behind the healing "factor". But at some point, someone decided that wasn't good enough. Now his healing "factor" is stupid powerful.
Teh Clawz! "Razor sharp" and "unbreakable" does not mean "can cut through anything". It just means "as sharp as a razor" and "can't be broken". Why isn't that good enough? When did his claws become lightsabers? Who made that decision?
Anyway, originally we had:
A tough, scrappy little wild-animal mountain man. Now we have The Ultimate Invincible Immortal Badass Who Can't Be Killed and he wears a leather jacket, wears cowboy boots, rides a motorcycle and seethes like Clint Eastwood. Another truly hateful character.
And one more in the opposite direction...Galactus. Galactus used to be an all-powerful Cosmic Threat, but he's been depowered to the point of being lame:
"Could So-And-So beat Galactus"?
"Probably...if Galactus is hungry."
And he always is.
He's always starved to the point of being so weak as to be defeatable by simple pummeling. Or energy blasting (which amounts to the same thing as pummeling). What happened to "The only thing that can stop Galactus is the Ultimate Nullifier"? The Watcher's pretty smart, right? If Galactus could be trounced by a straight-up pummeling, wouldn't the Watcher have mentioned that? "Galactus is very powerful, except unless he misses a meal. He's a little hungry right now. I suppose you could retrieve the Ultimate Nullifier, but it would probably be easier to go get Wolverine. The armor of Galactus is no match for Wolverines claws, and Galactus's cosmic power is naught against Wolverine's unstoppable Healing Factor".
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