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#1 Posted by Reignmaker (2227 posts) - - Show Bio

The Joker vs. YOU

You: This is a scenario which involves the real-life version of you. So you're stuck with your current weight, height, combat experience (or lack thereof), etc.

Situation: In a twisted game of fate, you are thrown into Joker's cell in Arkham Asylum and left in the locked cell with him. The objective is to survive a gladiator-style confrontation with him five times (different versions of his character). In each round, he is armed with a shank while you start with a Louisville Slugger baseball bat.

Rules: Only one of you may survive. If you succeed past one round, you get a day to rest for the next round the following night. Assume a healer is on hand to purge any wounds that may have been inflicted in the previous fight. So you're not limited by those should you survive a particularly difficult round.

Question: How far do you get?

Round 1: You vs. this Joker...

Round 2: You vs. this Joker...

Round 3: You vs. this Joker...

Round 4: You vs. this Joker...

Round 5: You vs. this Joker...

#2 Posted by Jayfournines (4024 posts) - - Show Bio

I make it to round four...can't see the pic of round 5

#3 Posted by SoA (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

<----stop at round 3 :(

#4 Posted by BigCimmerian (7849 posts) - - Show Bio

I have no chance against mutated Joker, but against the rest I can prevail if I defeat my fear first.

#5 Posted by Bane_of_sith (2780 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't think a bat will even matter in round five lol

#6 Edited by drgnx (3548 posts) - - Show Bio

Round 4...maybe, I'd tell them "they can kill me but will never corrupt me, I'll never kill them", and see how far that gets me, nut sure if that will work on 5

#7 Posted by Reignmaker (2227 posts) - - Show Bio

I think Heath's Joker takes me out. That dude can be vicious.

Starting at 0:18...

#8 Posted by Dracade102 (8167 posts) - - Show Bio

I stop at round four. Even if anybody possibly could get passed him, how would Joker even fit in his own cell in round 5?

#9 Posted by Hyperlight (5419 posts) - - Show Bio

i stop at round 3

#10 Posted by Pyrogram (35035 posts) - - Show Bio

Stop at 4 , If I get overly lucky, I get to 5, then stomped.

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#11 Posted by JonSmith (3988 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm stopping at Round 3. Joker's skilled with a knife.

#12 Posted by TheCheeseStabber (7723 posts) - - Show Bio

Wait is Joker in round 5 Arkham Asylum Joker (My picture doesn't work)

I think I stop at 3

#13 Posted by nickzambuto (12847 posts) - - Show Bio

Doubt anyone's getting past comic Joker. He's no Batman, but Joker is still plenty capable of taking on most any "normal" guy. Dat super sanity is gonna allow him to pretty much predict every one of our slow clumsy attacks, and with his years of experience + pain tolerance he can make short work of any Arkham Guard, let alone a Comic Vine user. Nice thread though OP, I look forward to someone trying to debate for themselves lol.

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#14 Posted by Franchise1590 (297 posts) - - Show Bio

I think I could make it to round 4 then probably I'd get cocky and die lol.

We'd need something stronger to beat round 5, a bat won't do shit. Did you ever play that game OP? Joker was a tank at that level.

#15 Posted by Reignmaker (2227 posts) - - Show Bio

@TheCheeseStabber said:

Wait is Joker in round 5 Arkham Asylum Joker (My picture doesn't work)

I think I stop at 3

Yeah, and he's juiced up on Bane's venom.

#16 Posted by Thor's hammmer (7184 posts) - - Show Bio

how tough are the jokers man parts in round 5? if you really were ruthless with that bat and you cared as little for the joker as he did for you, you might be able to do some damage but i haven't played the arkam game so i'm not sure how large strong and tough that jokster really is. for all I know you would snap that bat off even Ting off down there full strength.

#17 Edited by Reignmaker (2227 posts) - - Show Bio

@Franchise1590 said:

I think I could make it to round 4 then probably I'd get cocky and die lol.

We'd need something stronger to beat round 5, a bat won't do shit. Did you ever play that game OP? Joker was a tank at that level.

I've played it. But I got bored, and didn't finish it. What would be fair do you think? I'm open to suggestions.

#18 Posted by Tholt (12 posts) - - Show Bio

Up to round 5 where I turn into a bloody smear for him to finger paint with in his padded cell depending on how large the cell is.

#19 Posted by spawn_123 (1693 posts) - - Show Bio

I stop at 3 or 4

#20 Posted by NyghtMare (403 posts) - - Show Bio

I clear it, depending on the last Joker.

The amped Joker from Arkham Asylum was an idiot and kept turning his back. If he did it in that fight, I'd hit him in the nuts and when he doubled over, I'd go to town on his face. If last Joker is actually fighting and not fooling around, then nobody is getting past him.

#21 Posted by TheCheeseStabber (7723 posts) - - Show Bio

@Reignmaker: @Thor's hammmer said:

how tough are the jokers man parts in round 5? if you really were ruthless with that bat and you cared as little for the joker as he did for you, you might be able to do some damage but i haven't played the arkam game so i'm not sure how large strong and tough that jokster really is. for all I know you would snap that bat off even Ting off down there full strength.

Yah no one is ever getting past him with a bat.

He's Like bone shattering punches and can lift you with one hand.

Batman only beat him with and explosive punch in the face after numerous heavy electrocutions,

his claws are more powerful then the shank.

#22 Posted by CBninja (160 posts) - - Show Bio

I get to five before I'm stopped. I think 3 gives me alittle troube but there is no one getting past 5.

#23 Edited by Reignmaker (2227 posts) - - Show Bio

@nickzambuto said:

Doubt anyone's getting past comic Joker. He's no Batman, but Joker is still plenty capable of taking on most any "normal" guy. Dat super sanity is gonna allow him to pretty much predict every one of our slow clumsy attacks, and with his years of experience + pain tolerance he can make short work of any Arkham Guard, let alone a Comic Vine user. Nice thread though OP, I look forward to someone trying to debate for themselves lol.

Yeah, I had no idea that we had so many self-confident fans on Comic Vine. At least 4-5 posters have already claimed they'd make it to the final round. Unless you've got some serious military, martial arts, or law enforcement background, I don't know how anyone passes round 4.

Round 5 was meant to be more of a joke, but if some of you seriously think you can reach that point and need some more capable equipment, let me know. I'm open to altering my original post. Just don't tell me something completely overpowered like a lightsaber.

#24 Posted by TheCowman (461 posts) - - Show Bio

Cesar Romero schools my ***.

#25 Posted by Super_SoldierXII (6164 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

#26 Posted by Franchise1590 (297 posts) - - Show Bio

@Reignmaker said:

@Franchise1590 said:

I think I could make it to round 4 then probably I'd get cocky and die lol.

We'd need something stronger to beat round 5, a bat won't do shit. Did you ever play that game OP? Joker was a tank at that level.

I've played it. But I got bored, and didn't finish it. What would be fair do you think? I'm open to suggestions.

We'd need a sword or something, Joker could tank things like electric shocks and whatnot. That bat would break on his super durable skin.

Plus we'd have no where to avoid him in a tiny cell with how big he was. Joker would break us like twigs, then play with our bones before killing us in that round.

#27 Posted by JamesKM716 (1992 posts) - - Show Bio

I get killed in Round 3... maybe if i'm lucky Round 4

#28 Posted by Thor's hammmer (7184 posts) - - Show Bio

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

#29 Posted by Reignmaker (2227 posts) - - Show Bio

@Super_SoldierXII said:

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

LOL. So true.

#30 Edited by Franchise1590 (297 posts) - - Show Bio

@Reignmaker said

Yeah, I had no idea that we had so many self-confident fans on Comic Vine. At least 4-5 posters have already claimed they'd make it to the final round. Unless you've got some serious military, martial arts, or law enforcement background, I don't know how anyone passes round 4.

@Super_SoldierXII said:

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

Only reason I think I make to the the 4th round is because of pain tolerance tbh. Even then comic Joker wrecks my shit in round 4 especially because I'll be feeling myself by then lol.

I wouldnt mind losing fingers if I can nail him one good time with the bat. Honestly I only have to knock him down then he loses and Heath Ledger Joker didn't show much impressive imo.

I do admit I could see myself making a mistake and losing in round 3 pretty quickly as well.

Good thread.

#31 Posted by TheTmac (472 posts) - - Show Bio

No one on the vine is making it past round 4.

#32 Posted by TheBatman586 (6316 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd probably die at round 3.

#33 Edited by Mattersuit (4270 posts) - - Show Bio

The cell's too enclosed for a bat to use. I'd probably just try to go h2h with him or take his shank.

That said, I wouldn't get past even round 2.

#34 Posted by Super_SoldierXII (6164 posts) - - Show Bio

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

#35 Posted by CalebHara (2329 posts) - - Show Bio

I would stop at 4.

#36 Edited by Super_SoldierXII (6164 posts) - - Show Bio

@Franchise1590:

Only reason I think I make to the the 4th round is because of pain tolerance tbh. Even then comic Joker wrecks my shit in round 4 especially because I'll be feeling myself by then lol.

I wouldnt mind losing fingers if I can nail him one good time with the bat. Honestly I only have to knock him down then he loses and Heath Ledger Joker didn't show much impressive imo.

I do admit I could see myself making a mistake and losing in round 3 pretty quickly as well.

Well, Heath's Joker did insta kill hired mob muscle with a pencil in what was one quick, brutal and lethal fluid motion.

Go into your walk-in closet and try swinging a bat effectively. Now try doing it effectively with a hardened, combat savvy psychopath with a knife coming at you ... calm and collected as can be ...

#37 Posted by SoA (4683 posts) - - Show Bio

@Super_SoldierXII said:

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

agreed .

#38 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (19908 posts) - - Show Bio

Round 1 - 1960's Joker wasn't exactly that skilled in the movie. If PIS/his Toon-Force doesn't carry over then I would win. His short-range knife wouldn't reach me before I slug him in the head and knock him out.

Round 2 - Batman : The Brave & The Bold Joker wasn't too skilled, but still good enough to give Batman a brief fight. That being said, I wouldn't last 2 seconds with Batman. Joker having only a knife would heighten my chances of winning, but it's still pretty slim.

Round 3 - Same as Round 2 really.

Round 4 - I get killed horribly. Comic Joker is at minimum an adept street fighter. I have no combat experience other than 1-2 years of Tae Kwon Do, and I didn't even learn much from those classes anyways.

Round 5 - I get one-shotted.

#39 Posted by 80sBaby (1343 posts) - - Show Bio

Personally, I think the Joker's rep is more hype/PIS than anything else. His opponents always undersetimate him which allows him to catch them off-guard. Any good Joker feats where he beats somebody straight-up?

#40 Posted by consolemaster001 (4938 posts) - - Show Bio

4

#41 Posted by Bruxae (12546 posts) - - Show Bio

@Super_SoldierXII said:

Lol at how many Viners feel themselves capable of defeating the Joker.

Joker is no noob in hand to hand. And the OP is giving him a knife in a closed environment with you having ... a baseball bat. A weapon that needs space to swing and maneuver to be most effective. Neither of which you have here.

Think of a common thug, the tough guy in your local pub. The brawler who, more than likely, will beat your average male (or two) down. Joker eats a half dozen of these guys for lunch.

Can you? Or, if you're honest, have you simply watched one too many Jackie Chan movies?

Unless you're a Navy Seal or an accomplished MMA fighter, you should not even be considering yourselves to move past round 2.

I bet a lot of these blokes are folks who look at themselves in the mirror, and instead of seeing reality, see Arnold all ripped and massive, staring back. To be sure, they're the only ones who can see such. But hey, ignorance is bliss.

My money is on the Joker kicking all you guys' arses ... and this with relative ease.

^ This.

I find it hilarious how many people in this thread is so full of themselfs when in reality almost if not everyone would be dead at round 2 or 3, Im thinking the ones making it to round 4 I could count on 1 hand.

#42 Posted by nickzambuto (12847 posts) - - Show Bio

@Super_SoldierXII said:

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

dude stfu I play Metal Gear Solid and read comic books. I will kick all the asses of the joker and have him crying like a little babby.

Online
#43 Posted by Super_SoldierXII (6164 posts) - - Show Bio

@nickzambuto said:

@Super_SoldierXII said:

@Thor's hammmer said:

@Super_SoldierXII: given simply how crazy the joker is and his resistance to pain, lack of regard for life, and previous experiences would make him more than a match for your average thug or two. even in groups because after he went stab happy on the first criminal the rest would most likely run. But given the fact that here no ones running and i take it everyone here already knows who the Joker is and that they are going to die if they don't atleast give him everything and try to kill him... well he is still just a man and it seems like you're heads just a little too far up his @rse..

If by 'just a 'man' ... you mean a comic book / cartoon / movie character with accomplishments and feats that put him so far beyond what real life individuals can and cannot do then yeah, I agree, he's 'just a man'.

Most who have not been faced with life and death situations (I'm talking to the majority of us Viners) would react in all the wrong ways ... a combat savvy psychopath who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, would eat you for lunch with one wrong move or hesitation.

He just killed a half dozen trained police officers in Snyder's recent arc by breaking their necks ... how many necks have you broken? Do you even know how to?

No disrespect intentioned to anyone in particular, but I think that those who state they can take him in rounds 3 and up, are the one's who need to take their heads out of their nether regions, not me, and take a long breath to get a dose of reality. Get the brain cells flowing back upstairs ...

dude stfu I play Metal Gear Solid and read comic books. I will kick all the asses of the joker and have him crying like a little babby.

Lol.

#44 Posted by TheCheeseStabber (7723 posts) - - Show Bio

Im changing my answer.

I Fall at round Two due to Toon Force...

#45 Posted by AmazingScrewOnHead (704 posts) - - Show Bio

I get to round 4 and die horribly just like everybody else yes even the ones who are SAS,Black ops and Master martial artists and nobody living in the world today can beat Titan Joker.

#46 Posted by XImpossibruX (5168 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol no one on this vine is getting past round 3, I don't care if you lift Joker will tear you apart.

#47 Posted by JediXMan (29514 posts) - - Show Bio

I win round 1 and possibly 2. I lose round 3 unless I get standard equipment (for me, that would be a sword).

#48 Posted by Franchise1590 (297 posts) - - Show Bio

I just don't think the pencil trick is enough prove the fighting prowess of Heath Ledger Joker. I mean it's cool but that didn't know how dangerous the Joker was and underestimated him.

#49 Posted by Alice_Summers (1209 posts) - - Show Bio

guys you all stop at round 2 and 5 the rest are easy

round 2 joker beat wonder woman in h2h, yah your fudged.

#50 Posted by loadofmilark (198 posts) - - Show Bio

i could maybe get past 2 at a push but no-one here is beating 4 and only a handful are beating 3 i mean all the people saying 4 don't know what they are talking about