#1 Posted by PreyingMantis (161 posts) - - Show Bio

Barack the Barbarian vs Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter vs Theodore Roosevelt    
 
Battle takes place in the Statue of Liberty. 
Morals are off. 
All combatants have their usual equipment.

    
#2 Posted by Amazingoctus (3122 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln. Shouldn't this be in Off-Topic?

#3 Posted by madrid_san (1805 posts) - - Show Bio

#4 Posted by cattlebattle (12694 posts) - - Show Bio

Spite!!!
 
Roosevelt was beyond any mere mortal

#5 Edited by MKF30 (11635 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln FTW but Roosevelt was awesome too...
 
...Obama should not even be in the same sentence as the other two. 

#6 Posted by buttersdaman000 (9591 posts) - - Show Bio
#7 Posted by Dracade102 (8167 posts) - - Show Bio

Obama dies within the first few seconds of the fight. Lincoln probably takes this in the end, though.

#8 Posted by CapitolPunishment (2303 posts) - - Show Bio
@Dracade102 said:
Obama dies within the first few seconds of the fight. Lincoln probably takes this in the end, though.

Lincoln ftw
#9 Posted by The_Elemetal (148 posts) - - Show Bio
@Amazingoctus: why would it be in off topic technically its a battle
#10 Posted by Amazingoctus (3122 posts) - - Show Bio
@The_Elemetal said:
@Amazingoctus: why would it be in off topic technically its a battle
Read the Battle rules very carefully. I'm pretty sure real people battles (of any kind) go in Off-Topic.
#11 Posted by PreyingMantis (161 posts) - - Show Bio
#12 Posted by Fortified_Hooligan (2008 posts) - - Show Bio

Speaking literally. 
 
Roosevelt had moxi, not physical might. 
 
Lincoln was taller and had quite a bit of experience at actual wrestling. 
 
Obama, while not quite as tall as lincoln, does benefit from modern medicine extending his youthful power later in life than what was available to lincoln in his erra. 
 
Obama should take this after a struggle with lincoln.
#13 Posted by Fatal (2072 posts) - - Show Bio

Roosevelt.

#14 Posted by Mr.Hulk_Smashin'! (2569 posts) - - Show Bio

.... I need to read AL:VH.

#15 Posted by Prince CortSether (2301 posts) - - Show Bio
@Fortified_Hooligan said:
Obama should take this after a struggle with lincoln.
#16 Posted by saturnssailor (102 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln was an excellent wrestler that stood at 6'4". 
Roosevelt boxed, hunted and was a soldier. 
Obama does a lot of sports, but not fighting ones as far as I know. 
 
Roosevelt or Lincoln if you ask me. Obama doesn't stand a chance.

#17 Posted by Fetts (4449 posts) - - Show Bio

Come on guys. We all know who wins here. 

#18 Posted by NightFang (9976 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol, really?

#19 Posted by cattlebattle (12694 posts) - - Show Bio
@Fortified_Hooligan said:
  Roosevelt had moxi, not physical might.
??? We are talking about the same Roosevelt, right?
#20 Posted by PikminMania (4628 posts) - - Show Bio
@Fortified_Hooligan said:
Speaking literally.  Roosevelt had moxi, not physical might.  Lincoln was taller and had quite a bit of experience at actual wrestling.  Obama, while not quite as tall as lincoln, does benefit from modern medicine extending his youthful power later in life than what was available to lincoln in his erra.  Obama should take this after a struggle with lincoln.
Agreed
 
In terms of awesomeness, Lincoln wins
 
Also did everyone hear that Tim Burton is directing the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter movie! = D
#21 Posted by SoA (4776 posts) - - Show Bio
@cattlebattle: definitely
#22 Posted by SoA (4776 posts) - - Show Bio

lincoln may have wrestled when he was young, obabma is a tool and a publicity stunt, but Roosevelt was the godfather of badass he accomplished alot before he as president , owned the presidency and im pretty sure proof tht superhumans exist in real life

#23 Posted by MKF30 (11635 posts) - - Show Bio
@Prince CortSether said:
@Fortified_Hooligan said:
Obama should take this after a struggle with lincoln.
hahahaha, epic post!
#24 Posted by The Stegman (23918 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln wins with two well placed axes to the head

#25 Posted by OmegaDynasty (9187 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln wins this. 
 

#26 Posted by GuruOfFunk (442 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln seems like he could throw a punch.
#27 Posted by departed402 (549 posts) - - Show Bio

H2H: Lincoln 
Weapons: Teddy via his guns skills
#28 Posted by Jezer (3128 posts) - - Show Bio
#29 Posted by sandiego008 (3283 posts) - - Show Bio

If a fight ... lincoln .. if political badassness rossevelt.

#30 Posted by AsgardianXeno929 (839 posts) - - Show Bio

Teddy Spite. He created the Teddy Bear for God's sake!

#31 Posted by turoksonofstone (13199 posts) - - Show Bio
#32 Posted by jojjimbo (2472 posts) - - Show Bio

Roosevelt.

#33 Posted by DeathpooltheT1000 (10228 posts) - - Show Bio
Lincoln was a wrestler during a part of his life. 
He would Piledrive Obama and Kill him. 
Still 

Roosevelt was the original badass!!!!

 
The only president that cared about people and not abotu his own fat ass.
#34 Posted by SurelockeHomes (2195 posts) - - Show Bio

America's presidents.

Drawing blanks for Obama, but Theodore wins. He was just the awesomest, plus I respect his battling. He killed Big Foot!

#35 Posted by Scarbearer (726 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah I think Teddy Roosevelt is a clear winner here, Though I think Abe puts up a good fight.  President Obama will perform admirably because he's fit, but he's not the fighter either Roosevelt or Lincoln are.

#36 Posted by Jezer (3128 posts) - - Show Bio

Vampire hunter Lincoln can dodge bullets. That's too badass for even Roosevelt.
#37 Posted by AmazingScrewOnHead (704 posts) - - Show Bio

To say Obama wins is ridiculous he is pathetic

Teddy=Big game hunter,Boxer, black belt Juitsu,Soldier,Judo,Fencing

Lincoln=Tall,Wrestler,Militia

Obama=Does a few sports

Teddy wins Obama shouldnt be in this fight.

#38 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (20146 posts) - - Show Bio

Realistically, Obama has no training whatsoever IIRC, and even if he does, it is nothing compared to Lincoln or Roosevelt. From there I think Roosevelt would win.

Now, with over-exaggerated jokes and feats from fiction, I think it could go either way.

#39 Posted by Nefarious (19694 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln.

#40 Posted by Dextersinister (5978 posts) - - Show Bio

@Fortified_Hooligan said:

Speaking literally. Roosevelt had moxi, not physical might. Lincoln was taller and had quite a bit of experience at actual wrestling. Obama, while not quite as tall as lincoln, does benefit from modern medicine extending his youthful power later in life than what was available to lincoln in his erra. Obama should take this after a struggle with lincoln.

I'm a sucker for realism, this is how it would go down. Obama would probably take this.

#41 Edited by antiwhipped (202 posts) - - Show Bio

Lincoln stomps.

Feats from

http://www.lincolnportrait.com/physical_man.html

Some of the feats attributed to him almost surpass belief. One witness declares he was equal to three men, having on a certain occasion carried a load of six hundred pounds. At another time he walked away with a pair of logs which three robust men were skeptical of their ability to carry. "He could strike with a maul a heavier blow - could sink an axe deeper into wood than any man I ever saw." is the testimony of another witness."

An excerpt, as written, follows: "... he was By fare the stoutest man that i ever took hold of i was a mear Child in his hands and i considered my self as good a man as there was in the Cuntry untill he Come about i saw him lift Betwen 1000 and 1300 lbs of Rock waid in a Boxx ..."

"Mr. Lincoln's remarkable strength resulted not so much from muscular power as from the toughness of his sinews. He could not only lift from the ground enormous weight, but could throw a cannonball or a maul farther than anyone in New Salem."

He was now six feet four inches high, and weighed, as a friend and confident, William Green, tells with impressive precision, "two hundred and fourteen pounds".

#42 Posted by The Devil Tiger (1263 posts) - - Show Bio

Roosevelt. Lincoln is good, and surpass Obama in sheer power, but Roosevelt is just a beast. He survivedbeing shot ! A thing that Lincoln did not...

#43 Posted by antiwhipped (202 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Devil Tiger: I didn't realize Roosevelt was shot in the head at close range and lived.

#44 Posted by kingkronos (2501 posts) - - Show Bio

Roosevelt.

#45 Posted by logy5000 (5732 posts) - - Show Bio

The heck is this? Lincoln was one of the best Presidents we ever had. Obama doesn't belong in this.

#46 Posted by Kovak (748 posts) - - Show Bio

@antiwhipped said:

@The Devil Tiger: I didn't realize Roosevelt was shot in the head at point blank range and lived.

Fixed.

That said Lincoln hunts f***in vampires.

Just kidding Comic Vine. Just kidding.