Noah vs Rambo

VS

Film version of Noah and Latest version of Rambo

Rambo was sent back in time after discovering a piece of the Original Ark

He found himself in a forest and he came across Tubal Cain and his people who were struggling to survive Tubal's men attacked Rambo but he managed to kill them with his knife, earning the respect of Cain, Cain ordered Rambo to kill Noah and TAKE THE ARK!!

Rambo, lacking orders and having respect for Cain due to his badass accent decided to listen to him and Bring Noah down.

Motivations

Noah is Angry and wants to defend his family and the Ark from these brutal humans and this long haired soldier of the future. Rambo is following orders and is fairly unsure of his opponents skill but does not fear him since he is Rambo.

Prep and Weapons

No prep

Noah has an Carpenters Axe and a dagger

Rambo has his Bowie Knife

Fight takes place outside the Ark. The Watchers are off foraging for supplies to finish constructing the Ark and Noah's children are too scared to fight Rambo.

Fight is to the death.

wtf

RAMBO

Rambo beats Noah to a pulp.

Rambo

Tonight will Raining Blood... Noah's blood!

Rambo

Noah calls for his good beer friend.

And the God touched Rambo with his finger and John exploded.

Noah is a badass, if you watch the film he defeats several people at once and is able to use nearly anything as a weapon. He isn't the kind long bearded Noah of the bible.

@amazingscrewonhead: really? Was the film good? I didn't know it had action like that.

@amazingscrewonhead: Actully Movie Noah is almost exactally as he is in the bible.

God would just godstomp Rambo since he wouldnt want anything to happen to Noah before the great flood.

@those_eyes: @stealth_warrior:

That whole battle in the film didn't even happen in the book so no Noah is quite different.

And yes the film was good I was expecting it to be very biblical but its a good Action/Adventure film as well plenty of good battles, as well as having good acting and being very gripping and interesting. As a non Christian I enjoyed it.

HAHAHAHAHA

It's impossible to compare these two films. One is based on something that could really happen. The other is about a guy who builds a big boat.

@amazingscrewonhead: idk some people are upset that it wasn't more biblical. For instance those rock things in the movie pissed Christians off.

@stealth_warrior: Most ridiculous thing I heard here all day. The director himself said it's the least biblical film he ever made. He also says he made up stories to fill in the gaps for non believers.

@mtuske: Noah did figth in the bible,

@mtuske: a lot of people believe noah was drunk the whole time. Lol

@stealth_warrior: no he didnt ._.

Lol Nice.

If Noah dies so does the rest of the human race after him so Rambo might want to think twice.

Rambo

Don't know about the movie, but the real Noah would ROFLCOPPERSTOMP.

Who cares if Rambo can beat this probably blasphemous movie version?

@acer51 What feats doe real Noah have, independent of God?

I watched the movie yesterday. He killed multiple men at once without much effort. But I would still give it to Rambo. Close match but unless god intervend then noah would die almost every time.

Wouldn't god be on Noahs side if he intervened?

Just watched the movie yesterday (along with WS :DDDD) and as a Christian I enjoyed it for what it was, sure it wasn't accurate but it's a great story and it exceeded my expectations, climax was a little intense for me (giggity) and the ending was rather boring, but I liked it.

Now that my rambling of a review is over I say Rambo stomps because Noah, while a superbeast in the movie, had pretty low combat speed.

@amazingscrewonhead: Hey whats up? Haven't you been gone for a really long time?

I didnt quite understand the ending of noah. I thought he was going to kill those babies but he didnt and then he gets drunk at the end for not obeying god which i dont remember happening in the bible. lol

I did like the movie alot though. The watchers getting to go back to heaven made me cry like a little girl.

Rambo ain't touching Noah, God will interfere and stomp Rambo.

He ain't letting anything change the past. In the movie.

That's not how battles work. If I do a battle with Gandalf, I can't just say well, if Eru Iluvatar intervenes Gandalf stomps.

bump because noah is criminally underrated. i would say he'd be a good fight for maximus. anyway rambo should have superior training and is a harder man. he can easily get in close and choke noah

Noah from Fate/Grand Order blinks, but yeah Noah is generally not a fighter himself, he just had to know how to fight to protect his family, but Rambo's entire life is fighting, he cannot escape that, so if they had to fight Rambo would expect most of the attacks, although pretty sure God is on both Noah and Rambo's side as they are both devout so you cannot really go that way

i think you are confusing the bible with old american portrayals of noah.... there is nothing in the records that says he had a long beard or that he was very kind, and from other sources such as josephus, the talmud and the similar flood narratives around the world have him being overprotective which means he knew quite a lot of combat, he was righteous but that is different, for that time in a wicked world he obviously had to know how to defend himself and his family, and considering the long lifespan he would not look old during the flood, if anything, the 2014 movie of noah is possibly the most accurate portrayal, both for noah himself and the design of the ark and the animal families in the ark which did not look like the degraded animals of today